chapter 28

 

 

Sickbay was bustling with activity when Janeway walked in. She’d come as soon as she could, and now faced the moment that every starship captain hated:  seeing for herself how people had been hurt under her command. These people patiently waiting their turn for treatment, with gashes and burns and broken bones—they were here because of her. Because she’d given the order to enter the battle.

Lynne was here, too, in her capacity as emergency medic. She was treating the minor injuries and making sure that the crew in line suffered no pain as they waited. Janeway caught her eye for just a moment before they both went back to their duties.

A quick glance at the biobeds, where six figures lay perfectly still, confirmed Janeway’s expectation that she could do nothing for the people in serious condition. Not yet, anyway. Revi and the Doctor were still working on two of the serious cases and the medical force fields were up.

She turned her attention to the crew waiting for treatment, quietly asking about their injuries and telling them how much she valued what they’d done. When she explained that their actions had saved the array from almost certain destruction, she knew by the lit-up faces that she’d just given them a tonic for their wounds.

“So we’re still going home, then?” asked Ensign Watson, whose bloody face and matted hair testified to an unfortunate encounter with the edge of a console.

Janeway gave her an encouraging smile. “We’re still going home. In nineteen days. And the leader of the Terellian government forces personally invited us to their military space dock as a thank you. We’re docked now, taking on supplies and personnel; they’ve sent an entire repair team to help us. We’ll have Voyager shipshape and gleaming in plenty of time to go home in style.”

A ragged cheer went up from the injured crew, and out of the corner of her eye Janeway saw Lynne look up from her task and smile.

She spoke to her crew for several more minutes before being interrupted by Revi, who had finished her surgery and was now ready to deliver her report.

“Will you come into my office, Captain?”

Janeway excused herself and followed Revi into the office, where the doctor immediately collapsed into her chair. “Gods, I hate plasma burns,” she said, rubbing her face with her human hand.

“I hate burns of any kind,” said Janeway.

Revi looked up at her. “Oh, that’s right. I remember that from your records. You know what it feels like.”

Janeway nodded. As a cadet she’d been severely burned in a devastating explosion. She could still remember the strange feeling of air being transported into and out of her seared lungs, over and over again for days on end until she could breathe on her own once more.

“Burns are a special sort of hell,” she said. “How are they?”

“B’Elanna is by far the worst, but she should be okay. Her surgery went just fine and all her signs are stable; if nothing unexpected happens she should be back on her feet in about ten days. The others weren’t burned nearly as badly, probably because she threw them out of the area. Literally. She saved all their lives, Kathryn. And then she managed to crawl out just before the containment doors came down.”

Janeway shuddered internally; B’Elanna had been seconds away from a very nasty death. “Let’s hear it for Klingon strength and reflexes,” she said. “And B’Elanna’s personal brand of integrity. She’s an amazing woman.”

“You can tell her that when she wakes up. I have a feeling she’s going to be a little cranky when she finds out she’s stuck here for ten days.”

“‘Cranky’ won’t begin to cover it,” Janeway agreed. “Especially when she hears that Terellians are getting their hands all over engineering and the rest of the ship.”

“They are?”

“Yes. We may have gotten ourselves beaten up pretty badly, but we also made some very good friends in the Terellian government. The commander of their military is sending supplies and a repair team to help us out, and I’ve been told to expect calls from both the Prime Minister and the King.”

Revi raised her eyebrow. “So you’re the celebrity now. See, I knew it was just a matter of time. Now they’ll forget all about me.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I won’t let them. Maybe I’ll take you with me when I go to meet the King.” Janeway gave Revi an innocent smile, which earned her a scowl in return.

“I’m sure I’ll be far too busy in sickbay,” Revi said. “You can take my sincere regrets.”

“Sincere my ass,” said Janeway, and they laughed. It was a welcome respite from their concerns, but all too soon they had to get back to the task of discussing injuries and treatments. When Revi finished her report, Janeway thanked her and left her office, pausing just long enough to exchange a meaningful look with Lynne before walking out of sickbay. She knew Lynne understood her unspoken message. They wouldn’t be seeing each other for awhile; she’d be pulling double and triple shifts until Voyager was shipshape once more.

It was going to be a long nineteen days.

 

 

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B’Elanna opened her eyes to find a smiling face looking down at her.

“Hey, welcome back.” Lynne was sitting in a chair by her biobed. “You’ve been out awhile.”

“How long?” was what B’Elanna tried to say, but what came out was nothing but a wheeze.

“Whoa, don’t do that,” said Lynne in some alarm. “You burned your vocal cords, don’t try to talk.”

B’Elanna made a sound of frustration, and Lynne grinned at her. “Yeah, we all think it’s great. Finally we can tell you exactly what we think of you, and you can’t say a damn thing.”

Narrowing her eyes, B’Elanna tried to communicate exactly what she thought of that concept with her facial expression. Undeterred, Lynne went on. “So let me tell you what I think of you.” Her smile vanished, and she became completely serious. “You’re my hero, B’Elanna. There are three people on this ship who owe their lives to you. They’ve already been and gone; you’re the only one left in sickbay. In fact, you’re the worst injury from the battle. You’ve been out for four days. Tom’s fine, by the way. And Kathryn says the battle harnesses are one of the best ideas you ever had; she says there could have been some serious injuries on the bridge without them. We got knocked around a bit by those torpedoes.”

She pushed a lock of hair off B’Elanna’s forehead. “Are you in any pain?” When B’Elanna shook her head, she asked, “Thirsty?”

After thinking about it for a moment, B’Elanna nodded.

“You’re actually not; your fluid levels are fine. But I’m betting your throat feels a bit parched, which is why you feel thirsty. Here, try this.” She held an ice chip to B’Elanna’s lips, and B’Elanna closed her eyes at the cool relief it provided. She opened her mouth again, silently asking for more. Lynne fed her another four chips before B’Elanna felt she’d had enough. She just looked at her friend, hoping for more information. Obviously Voyager had survived the battle, but that was about all she could determine.

“It’s been a busy few days,” said Lynne, correctly interpreting her expression. “Turns out there’s a splinter group on Terellia that thinks aliens are a bad influence on their culture. They’ve been planning for years to destroy the Caretaker array, and made an alliance with another race called the Moccor, who apparently specialize in providing weaponry and ships to anyone willing to pay the price. Over the last several years they built up an entire fleet in the Moccorran system. We just happened to be here at the magic moment when all those years of work came to fruition. The Terellians had spies in with the splinter group, so they had some idea of what was coming and were on the alert for it.” She paused. “I don’t think they knew the full size of the fleet, though. That’s just my opinion, but based on what Kathryn says it sounds like they were a bit surprised. They were losing the battle, and if we hadn’t interfered the Caretaker would have been destroyed. Kathryn says it was a close thing anyway; apparently we were just seconds away from losing our ticket home.”

B’Elanna widened her eyes, and Lynne shook her head.

“Nope, we’re fine. Kathryn had the idea of taking out all the ships targeting the array by using their own weapon against them, and Tuvok apparently did some fantastic sharpshooting. Now the Terellians think we’re the greatest thing since sliced bread, since we’ve essentially saved their entire culture.”

B’Elanna wrinkled her nose.

“I’ll use that idiom if I want to; don’t give me that look.” Lynne smiled at her. “So I suppose you’d like to know about the repairs.” At B’Elanna’s nod, she said, “Well, we had hull breaches on five decks, a little plasma fire that I think you’re aware of, and general systems failures over the whole ship. Shields, engines and weapons weren’t touched. I’ve got a PADD here with the specifics.” She held up a PADD, and B’Elanna reached out for it, only then realizing that her hand was encased in a gel glove.

“Be careful with that hand,” said Lynne. “You burned yourself pretty good and Revi says you’ve got another day before she can wrap on your new skin. I’d use the other one if I were you.”

The other hand was intact, and B’Elanna immediately began accessing the reports, her heart sinking as she saw the extent of the damage. When she came to the end she closed her eyes in despair. No way would they get these repairs done in time for their launch, especially not when she was locked up in sickbay and couldn’t help. They were going to have to delay their homecoming again. Kahless, that was discouraging.

She opened her eyes and typed a message on the PADD. Repair estimate?

“We should be shipshape in another two weeks. It’s cutting it a bit close, but we’ll launch on time.”

Two weeks? Impossible. How? she typed.

Lynne scratched her forehead for a moment, then looked at her seriously. “We’ve gotten some help. I told you the Terellians think we’re the greatest. We’re docked at their military space port right now, and they’ve lent us a full team of crack engineers to help us with repairs.”

B’Elanna was instantly worried and typed out, Who’s supervising?

“Lieutenant Carey and Seven. Don’t worry, they’re not getting away with anything. They’re really good people, B’Elanna. Voyager is in good hands.”

“That doesn’t mean you have an excuse to lie around here any longer than you have to,” said a new voice. It was impossible not to recognize it, and B’Elanna looked up into the face of her captain. Janeway smiled at her. “How are you feeling?”

B’Elanna shrugged.

“She’s not in any pain,” said Lynne, “and she’s already wanting to take over the repairs. So I think she’s doing pretty well. I’m not concerned enough to activate the Doctor.”

Janeway reached out and put a gentle hand on B’Elanna’s shoulder. “B’Elanna, we’ve been worried about you. You didn’t regain consciousness when you should have. You’ve had people here around the clock, watching you. It wasn’t until just this morning that Revi said your readouts looked normal again. She refused to regenerate until she knew you were out of danger.”

B’Elanna typed on her PADD. Is something wrong besides the burn?

Janeway and Lynne looked at each other, and B’Elanna felt a real pang of fear. What weren’t they telling her?

Lynne touched her gently on her good wrist and said, “When you started coming around I called both Kathryn and Tom. There is something else going on, but Tom should be the one to tell you. It’s not anything wrong. It’s just unexpected.”

Well, this was just great. Something was fucked up and they weren’t telling her about it. She glared at them.

“Don’t even try that look on me,” said Janeway. “B’Elanna, you’re just fine, in spite of doing practically everything you could to kill yourself. Plasma fires are nothing to mess with.”

Tell me about it, thought B’Elanna, remembering the hellish heat and pain. Once plasma got on your skin, it kept crawling and burning as it went. Just the merest brush with a plasma fire could result in being burned to death unless someone put you out. But she hadn’t had time to deal with her own burns; three of her crew weren’t able to get out and she couldn’t just leave them there to die. So she’d ignored her burns until she’d gotten everyone out. She could recall rolling under the containment door as it was coming down—at her own order, though her team had waited as long as they could—and then her memory went blank. She didn’t remember anyone putting her out.

Gradually she became aware of Lynne rubbing her wrist, and looked up into two pairs of understanding eyes.

“You went away for a minute there,” Janeway said. “Revisiting the scene of your crime?”

B’Elanna nodded.

“You know,” said Lynne, “you may not be able to call me Fossil anymore. If you keep pulling stunts like that, I’m going to outlive you by several decades. You’ll be the fossil while I’m still climbing mountains and reminiscing about my long-dead friend. ‘She was a great officer and a fine friend,’ I’ll say. ‘But slightly insane and a bit suicidal.’”

B’Elanna smiled; she couldn’t help it. She typed out a message. I always said you drove me crazy. It finally took effect.

“Oh, you’re hilarious,” said Lynne sarcastically, but her eyes were alight and she couldn’t hide her smile.

B’Elanna heard the sickbay doors open, and turned her head to see Tom come in at a run.

“B’Elanna!” He practically skidded to a stop. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner; I was on the space dock. Oh, God, you look great.” He reached out for her good hand and intertwined their fingers. She was surprised to see lines around his mouth that had never been there before, and when he started to cry her surprise turned to outright astonishment. Tom never cried. She squeezed his hand comfortingly, but there wasn’t anything else she could do. Tears sprang to her own eyes in sheer empathy. What was going on?

“She’s okay, Tom,” said Janeway kindly.

“I know.” He took in great gulps of air in an effort to control himself, and stared at B’Elanna with streaming eyes. “It’s just…so good to see you awake. I was so worried about you.”

B’Elanna smiled at him, then turned a glare on Janeway, who raised her eyebrows.

“Tom,” she said, “I think you’d better tell B’Elanna your news. She knows something’s up, but we thought you should be the one to tell her.”

Tom squeezed her hand harder and began to cry again. “B’Elanna…we’re pregnant. I mean you’re pregnant. I mean…” He stopped, took in a deep breath, and smiled through his tears. “We’re going to have a baby.”

B’Elanna froze. I’m pregnant?? Kahless on a crutch! They’d been trying for three months so far, and after the first two disappointments she’d stopped tracking her cycle. It hurt too much to know they weren’t succeeding. Didn’t it just figure that the moment she stopped worrying about it, she got pregnant! Then she felt the bottom drop out of her stomach. Shaking her hand loose from Tom’s, she pointed at her abdomen frantically.

“No, it’s fine,” he said. “Alive and kicking and totally unconcerned that its mother nearly killed herself. But don’t you ever do anything like that again, do you hear me?”

She looked into his eyes and saw shadows in their blue depths that nearly broke her heart. He’d been through hell. She reached out for his hand again and nodded, a tear escaping and rolling down her cheek. He began to sob openly.

“I want to hold you,” he managed. “But you’re too hurt. B’Elanna, I love you. Please don’t ever leave me. God, you scared the hell out of me.” He lifted her hand to his trembling lips and kissed her fingers with incredible gentleness, which shattered her own control. Tears flowed unchecked as she opened her hand and held the palm against his cheek. He put his other hand over it and continued to cry, staring into her eyes as if he were afraid she might go away if he blinked.

“I’m needed back on the bridge,” said Janeway.

“And I need to get back to my other job,” said Lynne. “Tom, call me if you need anything, and either call me or reactivate the Doctor when you have to leave.”

Tom nodded, not breaking their eye contact, and Janeway and Lynne quietly left the sickbay.

B’Elanna gently tugged her hand away and picked up her PADD. Boy or girl?

She held the PADD up for Tom to read, and his tears slowed as he turned a brilliant smile on her.

“Do you really want to know? We’d talked about letting it be a surprise.”

She brought the PADD back down and typed, If you know, I want to know.

He laughed, and B’Elanna smiled to hear it.

“It’s a girl,” he said, and swallowed a sob. “A beautiful, perfect little girl. Revi did a genetic test and she’s absolutely perfect, B’Elanna. She’s going to have my eyes and your hair. And hopefully my temper.”

She smacked him in the chest with her good hand, and he laughed. “Oh, God, it’s so good to see you like this. Thank you for not leaving me.”

Thank you for loving me, she typed.

“Well, I really tried not to. But I couldn’t help it.”

She smiled as she typed in her next message. A hell of a homecoming gift for your father.

“Yeah.” He grinned. “I haven’t told him yet. I wanted you to be there with me when we did.”

He’s probably going to burst a button.

“Probably.” He took a deep breath and wiped his eyes. “We need to think of a name. I know we’ve got plenty of time, but I, um, I kind of have a favorite name already.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“What would you think of naming her Miral?”

B’Elanna couldn’t help it; she started to cry again. Her mother would be so honored to have a namesake; it would be the ultimate symbol of their renewed relationship.

She looked up and nodded.

 

 

 

 

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chapter 29

 

 

Janeway hurried down the corridor. Damn, she hated being late. She’d planned to be off duty much earlier than this, but it seemed as if the ongoing repairs required her input every four seconds, and before she knew it another hour had gone by. Now she barely had time to take a sonic shower and get dressed for the formal dinner. She’d been invited to meet the Prime Minister, the King and the royal family at a banquet, and only after she’d accepted the invitation for herself and Lynne had she learned that Revi and Seven were expected to attend as well. They hadn’t exactly been thrilled at the prospect. Secretly Janeway thought it was only fair that those two should do their share of gladhanding; she’d been doing far more than she wanted these last two weeks. But it was worth it—Voyager was shaping up beautifully, and because of these people, they’d be in the Alpha Quadrant in just ten days. And three days after that, they’d be at Earth.

Still, the timing of the banquet left a lot to be desired. She hadn’t seen much of her wife since the battle, and tonight of all nights she would rather have been alone with her. Lynne had assured her that she understood, but Janeway felt guilty anyway. There was only one first, after all.

The doors slid open and she stepped into her quarters, then stopped in her tracks.

“Hi, love,” said Lynne. “You don’t have much time.”

Janeway couldn’t move, nor could she speak.

Lynne gave her a sultry smile. “Cat got your tongue?”

Something’s got my tongue, thought Janeway. And it’s not a cat. She forced her feet to move, slowly approaching her wife and willing her voice to reactivate.

“Jesus,” she breathed. “You look…fantastic. Incredible. God, Lynne…” She stopped, unable to articulate what it meant to her to see Lynne like this.

“Well, I made you a promise,” said Lynne. “And the protocols the Terellians sent said short dresses were appropriate for the banquet. So I’m keeping my promise.”

For a moment Janeway wanted to cry. The fulfillment of her greatest wish stood before her:  Lynne in her short, sleeveless, backless black dress, standing tall and proud with every external implant showing—and looking absolutely confident and sexier than anyone had a right to be.

Finally her brain unlocked itself.

“Every eye in the room will be on you tonight,” she said in a low voice, circling her wife and feasting her eyes on the display of skin. “Because you’ll be the most beautiful, enticing, sexy thing there. And everyone is going to be jealous as hell of me.” She completed her circle and stood in front of Lynne. “Will I mess up your lipstick if I kiss you?”

“Do I care?” Lynne smiled at her. “After the honest appreciation I just saw in your eyes?” She put a hand behind Janeway’s head and bent down for a searing kiss that left them both breathless.

When they parted, Janeway rested her forehead against Lynne’s and whispered, “I don’t think I’ve been happier since the day you agreed to marry me. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” Lynne whispered back. “You did this. You convinced me that I was still beautiful, at least in your eyes. It’s the most incredible gift anyone has ever given me. You gave me back my sense of self, Kathryn. You made me live again.”

Janeway lifted her head and kissed her again, slowly and with all the reverence in her heart. “I love you,” she said.

“I love you too.” Lynne smiled. “Now go take a shower. You’ve got exactly eighteen minutes before we’re transported.”

“And we both know they don’t wait for anyone,” said Janeway. “I’m going.” Reluctantly, she let go of Lynne and strode into the bathroom. There was no time for a hydroshower, so she clenched her teeth as she activated the sonic shower. Barely two minutes later she was pulling her own short cocktail dress over her head. She settled the blue silk against her skin, stepped into her heels, and raced into the bathroom to touch up her hair and lipstick. A pair of diamonds glinted at her ears, and she even added a touch of perfume since it was a special occasion. When she rejoined Lynne in their living room she had five minutes to spare.

Lynne looked up from the desk chair where she was perched, reviewing a file. “Wow!” she said in an appreciative voice. “Thirteen minutes from merely beautiful to absolutely gorgeous.” Janeway sauntered over and Lynne made a show of sniffing the air. “Not to mention smelling incredible as well. Are you sure we have to go? Maybe we could just stay in.” She raised an eyebrow in invitation.

Leaning a hip against the desk, Janeway smiled at her wife. “I would love nothing better than to take that dress off you. But it will have to wait, unfortunately. Right now we’re not Kathryn and Lynne. We’re Captain Janeway and her wife, Lynne Hamilton, and we’re de facto ambassadors for the United Federation of Planets. So get that off your mind.”

“Kathryn,” said Lynne seriously, “if you’re going to wear that dress and look that incredible, there’s absolutely no way I can get that off my mind. All I can do is pretend that I’m thrilled to death to meet the King of Terellia, and that I’m not secretly wishing the power would go out in the royal residence so that we can all go home early.”

Janeway laughed. “Well, let’s go down there and pretend together. And when we come home, I’ll still be in this dress.”

“And I’ll still be in this one.”

“Good. Then we have something to look forward to.”

“Always,” said Lynne, and Janeway thought that simple word covered far more than what they’d just been talking about.

Lynne opened her desk drawer and took out a small box. “I’m glad you chose that dress for more than one reason. Would you like to add this to your ensemble?”

Curious, Janeway reached for the box and opened it, her eyes widening as she saw the matching earrings and necklace gleaming against a bed of satin. The necklace was made of dozens of deep blue latvin crystals strung on a delicate gold chain, and the earrings were single large drop crystals. The color and clarity were stunning, and she knew the set must have cost Lynne several months’ worth of replicator rations. She looked at her wife in wonder.

“Happy anniversary, love,” said Lynne quietly.

Janeway smiled. “Now I really wish we were staying in.”

Lynne stood up. “May I?”

“Please.” Janeway took the necklace out of the box and reverently placed it in Lynne’s outstretched hand, then lifted her hair off her neck. Lynne stepped behind her and fastened the necklace in place, dropping a light kiss on her neck for good measure.

Janeway turned in place and pulled Lynne’s head down for a much more satisfying kiss, then took her hand and tugged her into the bathroom, where she quickly replaced her diamond earrings with the blue latvin drop crystals. The overall effect was dazzling.

“I knew they’d match your eyes,” said Lynne with satisfaction. “It’s not me they’ll be looking at tonight, love. But they can look at you all they want to. At the end of the banquet, you’re coming home with me.”

Janeway raised her eyes to meet Lynne’s in the mirror. “They’re lovely. Thank you so much. I’ve never owned anything close to this beautiful.” She leaned back against Lynne and raised her left hand to her shoulder. “Except for this.”

Lynne covered it with her own left hand, intertwining their fingers so that they could see both rings in their reflection.

“I have something for you, too,” said Janeway, “but we’re out of time. So hold onto that thought until we get back tonight.”

“I’ll hold on to that thought forever,” said Lynne. They smiled at each other and simply stood there, eyes locked, until the transport took them.

 

 

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The banquet wasn’t much different from any other formal banquet Janeway had ever been to, but she didn’t think she’d ever forget it. No matter where she was or who she was speaking with, her eyes were continually drawn to the striking figure in black moving gracefully through the crowd. Lynne’s daring dress and erect posture stood out among the Terellians, and she seemed to be attracting quite a bit of attention from the King’s eldest son, much to the dismay of the woman he’d escorted into the banquet. Janeway, on the other hand, was delighted to see it. That a man who could doubtless have any woman he wanted was determined to have Lynne said everything about her sensual appeal, and Janeway knew that Lynne’s self-esteem could only benefit from the attention. She was baring her implants in public for the first time, and was being courted by none other than the Crown Prince.

Still, it looked as if Lynne might benefit from a little assistance. Excusing herself from her current conversation, Janeway moved across the room and came up behind Lynne, casually brushing her hand across the shoulder implant as she addressed the Prince.

“Good evening, Prince Mysonn,” she said. “I see you’ve met my wife.”

He looked at her with knowing eyes; she’d staked her claim quite clearly. “Yes, I have. You make a lovely couple, though I find it rather unfair that both of you are unavailable.”

Gently rubbing Lynne’s implant, Janeway smiled sweetly at him, recognizing a player when she saw one. “Thank you for the compliment. You and your family have been very gracious hosts to us; you’ve made our final days in this quadrant something that we’ll never forget.”

“We will certainly never forget you,” he said with a smile. “One can hardly turn around without seeing you or Commander Revi Sandovhar in the news. I must thank you, Captain Janeway, for diverting the media from me. It’s actually been a rather restful few weeks for me.”

Idiot. “I wish I could say the same,” said Janeway, feeling Lynne’s body shifting beneath her hand. She hid her smile as she continued lightly stroking the implant. “But it’s been anything but restful for us, given the repairs we’ve been making. However, both your father and First Pilot Corshon have been extremely generous with their aid.”

“Not at all. We regret the damage our internal affairs inadvertently caused you. It was the least we could do in our gratitude for your assistance.”

They exchanged meaningless pleasantries for another few minutes until the Prince got bored enough to excuse himself. As soon as he was gone Lynne ducked out from under her hand and rounded on her.

“What the hell are you doing?” she said in a low tone. “That was not nice.” But Janeway could see the signs of arousal. Lynne wasn’t angry, she was just frustrated. Janeway gave her a smoldering look.

“What I told you I’d do back when you first gave me ownership of these,” she said, brazenly brushing her hand across the chest implant. Lynne narrowed her eyes. “I’m just playing with what’s mine. You look incredibly sexy, and the Prince obviously noticed. But he doesn’t know what I know.” She brushed the implant again, delighted to see Lynne’s reaction. “I notice you didn’t exactly stop me.”

“Oh, sure,” said Lynne, consciously lowering her voice as a well-dressed guest moved past them. “I’m supposed to stop you in front of the Prince. You knew I couldn’t.”

Janeway saw the Minister of Trade Relations approaching from behind Lynne. “That’s right,” she said, putting her hand on Lynne’s shoulder implant and turning her as she stepped forward to meet the Minister. “Just like you can’t stop me now,” she whispered, then raised her voice. “Minister, it’s good to see you away from the negotiating table.”

She introduced Lynne, never letting up on her caresses of the shoulder implant as the three of them conversed. She knew she was stoking a blazing fire, but the thrill-seeker in her was enjoying every second of it. Lynne was practically vibrating under her hand, and Janeway was certain that she’d be paying for this later. She didn’t care.

The Minister was joined by his wife, then the Queen arrived to say hello, and from that point on a steady stream of royalty and government officials moved into and out of the group. Lynne never had a chance. When Revi and Seven drifted over, Janeway gave serious thought to putting an end to her little game—after all, they knew all about the sensitivity of certain implants. But the part of her that loved a challenge wouldn’t let her back down, and so she simply made her caresses more subtle, occasionally shifting her hold on Lynne’s shoulder and making sure her fingers trailed across the implant as she did so.

By the time the banquet began to wind down, the smoldering look in Lynne’s eyes was actually making Janeway a little nervous. She finally ceased her caresses as the crowd thinned out and they said their goodbyes to the King and Queen. Then the four Voyager crew climbed into the royal hovercraft—since the battle they always had special escorts, complete with guards—and rode to the nearest transport station, discussing the banquet as they went. They were sitting on facing bench seats, with a guard riding in the cockpit next to the driver. A soundproof clear barrier separated the cockpit from the passenger section.

The interior of the hovercraft was dark, as it was well past midnight in the city, and Janeway smiled as Lynne took advantage of the darkness to snuggle up close. Then she started in surprise as she felt a hand sliding underneath her from behind. Slowly, inexorably, the hand moved until it reached a very sensitive area, where it stopped. Janeway found it incredibly distracting, and it was harder than hell to keep from shifting. She could feel the heat of the hand through her dress, and thought she’d go mad from the anticipation. Lynne wasn’t doing anything, but she knew that wouldn’t last.

“So I had to get over there and make things clear,” Revi was saying. “She’d already told the Prince she wasn’t available, but that man is a creep. Either he didn’t hear about my Gifting, which is hard to imagine, or he thought it would be a worthy challenge to try to bed Seven anyway.”

“There would have been no challenge,” said Seven. “However, I’m glad you were able to join us in time. I was contemplating a more…overt method of communication than mere words.”

“I know,” said Revi. “I could hear it. And I was hoping I’d get there before you destroyed all of Kathryn’s hard work at the negotiation table.”

“Kathryn had her own hands full with him,” said Lynne. “Apparently he has a thing for Human females. He was coming on to me pretty strongly when she arrived and sent him a few signals.”

“What did you do, Kathryn?” Seven was interested in this interaction.

Janeway began to describe the conversation as she remembered it, and it was only her years of diplomatic experience that allowed her to continue speaking smoothly even as Lynne began stroking her most intimate flesh. She felt chills running over her entire body as her arousal instantly soared. She understood the game immediately, but it pissed her off that Lynne would take this so far in front of her crew members—and there wasn’t a damned thing she could do about it.

The ride seemed to take forever as Lynne played with her, sometimes not moving her hand at all, other times pressing deeply enough that Janeway was concerned about soaking through the fabric of her underwear. By god, if she had a stain on her dress, Lynne might not make it back to the Alpha Quadrant alive!

By the time they arrived at the transport station, Janeway was feeling a bit panicked. In the darkness of the hovercraft she’d been able to keep up a pretense of normality by controlling her voice. But the station was brightly lit, and she was certain that her arousal was showing on her face.

“Go ahead,” she said to Revi and Seven, waiting as they ducked out of the hovercraft first. As soon as they were out she turned to Lynne and growled, “You’re a dead woman.”

“Just following your example,” said Lynne. Janeway shook her head and rose from the seat, only to find Lynne taking full advantage of her position to quickly drop her hand under her skirt and slide a finger inside her underwear. The touch was brief, since Janeway wasted no time getting out of the hovercraft. She reluctantly stopped to wait for her wife, making sure that neither Seven nor Revi could see the back of her dress.

Lynne casually stepped onto the street, her finger in her mouth. She drew it out slowly and raised an eyebrow at Janeway. “Caught a sharp edge on the doorframe,” she said.

“Let’s go,” said Janeway, barely able to keep her voice level. Lynne was really pushing it.

She sent Seven and Revi back to the ship first, breathing a sigh of relief once they had said their goodbyes and vanished. Then she stepped onto the transport platform with Lynne, and a moment later they were back in their quarters.

She glared at Lynne. “That was way out of line. Don’t you ever do that again.”

Lynne just smiled at her. “I love it when you get pissed off and turned on at the same time. It turns you into a wildcat, did you know that?”

The smile irritated her even more. “That’s my professional reputation you’re fucking with.”

“No, it was you I was fucking with. And you started it, so don’t get all righteous on me now. You spent nearly two hours driving me insane and you didn’t think there’d be retribution?”

With an inarticulate growl, Janeway launched herself at Lynne, who caught her and stumbled backwards, laughing. In a few steps Lynne’s legs hit Janeway’s desk, and she instinctively let go in order to reach out and stabilize herself. Janeway took advantage of the opening, pushing her weight onto Lynne’s upper body and keeping her off balance, forcing her to maintain her hold on the desk in order to keep from being pushed all the way onto her back. It was a trick she’d learned some time ago that helped equalize their difference in strength.

While Lynne was occupied in keeping herself partially upright, Janeway pulled up her skirt and moved her underwear to one side. She knew Lynne would be wet, and with no hesitation drove two fingers inside her.

“God!” cried Lynne in surprise. “A little warning, please!”

“I don’t think you deserve that tonight,” said Janeway. “Not after what you did to me in that hovercraft.” She pulled out and went back in hard, then began applying a fierce suction to Lynne’s chest implant as she continued her forceful strokes.

“Oh, Jesus,” groaned Lynne.

Janeway left the shoulder implant and bit down on the side of Lynne’s throat as she moved her thumb over the clitoris, setting up a motion that she knew would send Lynne over the edge in bare minutes.

Lynne let her head drop back, then suddenly surged upright, whirling them in place before Janeway even knew what was happening.

“Oh, no you don’t,” she growled as she captured Janeway’s wrists and held them in her prosthetic hand. Leaning past her, she used her other arm to sweep the desk clear of PADDs, then spun Janeway again and bent her over the desk, pulling her arms out to the sides. With Lynne’s upper body crushing her to the desk, Janeway knew there was no getting out of this.

“Now listen,” said Lynne into her ear. “I didn’t plan on a battle tonight, even though I love it when you turn into a wildcat like that. I wanted us to make love slowly. I wanted to worship you in that gorgeous dress. I wanted to kiss every centimeter of that beautiful body, because it’s our first anniversary, Kathryn. I want lovemaking, not sex.” She laid down a line of soft kisses on the side of Janeway’s throat, then continued, “If I let you go, will you calm down?”

Janeway’s hammering heart made it hard to think. Her current position was a complete contrast to the gentleness of Lynne’s kisses, and her hormones were scrambling to adjust.

“And let you get away with that little display in the hovercraft?” she said, unwilling to give up so easily.

“Kathryn,” said Lynne, “you tortured me for two hours.” She kissed the back of her neck, then moved her lips to a sensitive spot on Janeway’s upper spine and nibbled gently. Janeway squirmed under the touch, her own sense of aggression rapidly dissipating under the loving ministrations.

“I only tortured you for a ten-minute ride,” Lynne murmured between kisses. “I’m willing to call it fair if you are. You still come out ahead.” She paused, her lips barely touching skin. “Truce?” she whispered, and that slight movement of her lips made the muscles of Janeway’s back jump.

Closing her eyes with pleasure, Janeway came to the realization that she definitely wanted to continue this somewhere far more comfortable than bent over a desk.

“Truce,” she said quietly.

Immediately the weight lifted from her back as Lynne released her and stepped away. Janeway pushed herself upright and turned around, noting with an internal smile that Lynne looked wary.

“What’s the matter?” she asked. “Don’t you trust me?”

“When you’re in that kind of mood? Not as far as I can throw you.”

Janeway stepped into her and watched Lynne’s slight flinch as she raised her hand to her face. Then Lynne’s eyes closed as Janeway slowly drew two fingers along her jawline, down her throat and into the cleavage exposed by the dress.

“Trust me,” whispered Janeway. “I want it slow, too. You’ve convinced me.” She wrapped her arms around Lynne’s neck and pulled her down for a deep, reverent kiss. When they parted, all of Lynne’s wariness was gone.

“I was right, you know,” said Janeway in a conversational tone as she lightly caressed Lynne’s bare arms from shoulder to fingertip.

“About what?” Lynne sounded breathless.

“About you being the sexiest, most enticing woman there. You were. Even from across the room I could see it. And I wasn’t the only one who noticed. You and this dress are a deadly combination.”

“Thank you.” Lynne slid her hands up Janeway’s sides. “But I think there was some pretty stiff competition in the room. You, my love, are more beautiful every time I turn around.” She reached up to slide her fingers beneath Janeway’s dress straps and softly stroked the skin of her shoulders.

Janeway pulled Lynne in and rested her head against her shoulder. It felt so good to be alone with her at last. She’d been working nonstop on repairs while continuing with her negotiations, and on top of everything else her newfound celebrity status as the savior of the Caretaker had meant interviews, luncheons and endless meetings with various officials. She was tired, overworked and more than a little frustrated at her total lack of personal time, particularly on her goddamned first anniversary. As she stood there, cradled in Lynne’s arms, she realized that her earlier aggressiveness was probably just as much an expression of her general frustration as it was of desire.

She squeezed Lynne tightly, then leaned back and looked into her eyes. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

“For what?”

“For slowing me down. That wasn’t what I really wanted, either. This is what I want. I don’t even care if we make love—I just want to hold you.”

Lynne smiled. “Oh, great. One year of marriage and already you don’t care if we make love. I guess that’s it, then.”

Janeway snuggled back in. “Perhaps I should have specified. I don’t care if we make love tonight. But there is something that we have to do.”

“What’s that?”

“Open your anniversary present.”

“Oh, yeah!” Lynne’s voice instantly brightened. “I forgot about that! Where is it?”

Janeway pulled away again, laughing at Lynne’s transparent enthusiasm. “Let me get it.” She walked over to the pile of PADDS littering the floor by her desk and began searching through them. “I did have it set aside, but somebody destroyed my neat piles. This may take awhile.”

Lynne dropped down beside her. “I’ll help. What are you looking for?”

“Well if I told you that, it’d take the fun out of it. Just sit there and look beautiful.”

“Okay,” said Lynne easily. “I can do that.”

Janeway paused, then raised her head and beamed at her wife. “You just made my entire evening.”

“I did?”

“You did. You just admitted that you’re beautiful. Like it was no big deal. Like you accept it as the truth. Which it is, by the way, but you’ve been fighting me on it for a while. I know you believe I think you’re gorgeous, but you’ve never been convinced yourself. Not since your assimilation.”

Lynne ducked her head and smiled up at Janeway. “Well, you’re very persuasive when you want to be. I guess it finally sank in tonight that you weren’t just trying to build me up. I actually feel pretty good in this dress, Kathryn. And the only comments I got on my implants were a couple of curious inquiries, and several compliments on my chest and shoulder implants. Some people actually thought I’d gotten them intentionally, like some sort of body piercing. One woman said she thought the chest implant looked lovely against my skin. She asked if I designed it myself.” She laughed, shaking her head in wonder.

Janeway thought she’d rarely heard such glorious words.

“I won’t say I told you so,” she teased, “but—I told you so.”

“I know,” said Lynne. “For once I’m glad you were right. It happens so seldom, you know.”

“Watch it. Do you want your present or not?”

Lynne made a motion of zipping her lips shut and nodded.

Janeway snorted and resumed her search, eventually finding the elusive PADD. “Here you go,” she said, handing it over.

Lynne put the PADD down and stretched out on the floor, her head propped up on one hand. Janeway, who had no need to watch the message, delightedly watched her wife instead. Lynne’s body language bespoke complete ease, and she looked fantastic in that dress. God, this was a great anniversary.

“Happy anniversary, sweetheart.” She heard her own voice on the PADD and brought her eyes back to Lynne’s face, watching her expressions.

“You’ve made this the happiest year of my life, despite everything that’s happened. We’ve had some rough times, but there really isn’t anything we can’t handle, is there? Not as long as we’re together. You give me the strength to do what I need to, and still maintain my sense of self. I have no idea how I survived before you came along to save me. I love you, Lynne. I honestly never knew I had the ability to love this deeply. And it seems to keep growing. I hope it never stops.”

Lynne reached up and brushed a thumb under her eye, catching a tear before it got too far.

“There’s so much I want to give you that it was hard to make a choice. But then I thought about it and realized that the choice was quite simple, actually. So—do you recognize this?”

Lynne took in a breath as she raptly watched the footage of their engagement mountain—the real thing.

“It took me awhile to track down the exact mountain. You just said it was in the Canadian Rockies, but fortunately B’Elanna remembered. When we get back home, sweetheart, all hell is going to break loose. But I want you to hold on to this PADD and remember that as soon as it’s warm enough, you just give me the word and I’ll drop everything to go with you. I’ve got enough leave built up to take a year off, so Starfleet will have to let me go. I want to see our mountain for real. Will you take me there?”

The PADD repeated the image of the mountain before fading to black. Lynne looked up, her eyes swimming.

“God, Kathryn, you’re incredible. That’s the best thing you could have given me. I would love to take you there. I can’t think of anything that would make me happier.”

Janeway laid a hand over hers. “Then it’s settled. I figured we’d have to wait until at least May, but I wanted you to have something solid between now and then. I thought you could play that message to remind yourself when things get busy at home.”

Lynne turned her hand over and squeezed Janeway’s. “July, more likely. I’m thinking you’ll be happier in warmer weather.”

“You know best,” said Janeway. “I’ll just follow your lead.”

Lynne tugged Janeway’s hand, rolling over on her back and pulling a willing captain on top of her. Janeway looked down at her radiant face and felt as if she could conquer the universe right now. She’d put that expression on Lynne’s face. It was the best feeling in the world.

“I love you,” said Lynne reverently. “More than I can ever say. I didn’t know I could love this deeply, either. I used to look at my parents and see how much they loved each other, and I’d wonder why I never had that same kind of depth in my own feelings for anyone I was with. After awhile I just decided that I wasn’t capable of it. But you proved me wrong.”

Janeway smiled. “Twice in one evening, no less.”

Lynne growled playfully. “I’m being serious, Kathryn.”

“So am I. And I seriously want to make love to you right now. Slowly, and gently, and hopefully for most of the night.”

For answer Lynne drew her down into an impossibly gentle kiss. Janeway buried both hands in her hair and gloried in the silky thickness of it as she lost herself in her explorations.

“You’re so beautiful,” she breathed when they broke apart. “And I’m so lucky.”

“True,” agreed Lynne, her eyes dancing. Janeway laughed and came back for another kiss. The frustration and aggression she’d felt earlier in the evening had vanished as if it had never been, and she felt utterly at peace. No matter what happened when they got home, she had this moment. And she was going to make the most of it.

 

 

 

 

---

chapter 30

 

 

“Aren’t you done yet?”

B’Elanna was sitting on the edge of her biobed, impatiently waiting for Revi to finish up. Since waking up, she’d been trapped in sickbay for six days, which was about six days longer than she could handle. Everyone assured her that the Terellians were doing an excellent job on repairs, but she wouldn’t rest until she’d seen everything for herself. Tom had already resigned himself to not seeing her for the rest of the day; he knew she wasn’t coming back to their quarters until her inspection was complete.

“You know, I think I liked it better when you couldn’t talk,” said Revi as she ran the medical probe around B’Elanna’s torso. “For awhile there, I could actually work around you without being harassed.”

“I told you not to get used to it.”

“So did everyone else.”

B’Elanna grinned; she’d developed a new rapport with Revi since being forced to lie around for almost an entire week. After she’d bumped up hard against the immovable object that was Doctor Revi Sandovhar in her sickbay, she’d learned to respect the steel core behind those warm eyes. She’d once thought that Seven ruled that relationship, but now she wasn’t nearly so sure. Revi probably gave Seven a run for her money.

“All right,” said Revi at last, closing her tricorder. “Get the hell out of my sickbay.”

“Yes!” B’Elanna hopped off the biobed and thrust her fists into the air. “Thank you, Kahless, for delivering me from death by boredom.”

Revi watched her antics with an amused look. “Hey, I offered to play poker with you. You weren’t interested. You could have had all the excitement you wanted.”

“Oh yeah, it would have been so exciting to lose my life savings to you. I know what you did to Tom, and I’m not an idiot.”

“If you say so,” said Revi, but her smile gave her away.

B’Elanna raised a fist threateningly, then grinned. “Thanks, Revi. You made this marginally tolerable.”

“I live to please,” said Revi dryly. “Why aren’t you gone yet?”

“I’m going.” B’Elanna took a step away, then turned back. “Revi? Would you be interested in lunch, maybe the day after tomorrow? I’d kind of like to see you outside sickbay.”

Revi’s face underwent an extraordinary shift in expressions, ending with an almost shy delight. “I’d love to. Thanks for inviting me.”

B’Elanna wanted to tell Revi that she’d misjudged her, that she was sorry for making some early assumptions based on her own loyalty toward Seven, Lynne and Janeway; but she couldn’t think of any way to say it without sounding—well, like an idiot. So she just gave Revi a parting smile as she turned away. Who knew where they’d all be two weeks from now, but in the meantime she’d enjoy the beginnings of a new friendship.

She left sickbay with a bounce to her step.

 

 

-----

 

 

First Pilot Synall Corshon bowed his head as he stamped his foot twice. “It has truly been an honor, Captain Janeway,” he said, lifting his head again.

Janeway returned the foot stamp and bowed her own head to just the right degree. In three weeks of unending diplomatic relations, she’d learned a great deal about Terellian culture, and felt quite comfortable in her interactions. Nevertheless, she was looking forward to finishing up this meeting and getting out. The repairs to Voyager were complete, as well as the extra preparations for their launch, and this was her final diplomatic responsibility: offering a formal thank you to the First Pilot for his assistance. Tomorrow they were going home. It had been an incredible, exhausting time, but they were almost there.

“The honor has been ours, First Pilot Corshon,” she answered. “I’m pleased that we had this opportunity to meet and learn from each other. The Federation is grateful to find such a worthy ally.”

“As we are grateful to you,” said First Pilot Corshon. “There are few who would have risked themselves the way you did. Your people are extraordinary, and we have benefited from your visit here. I look forward to future exchanges between our people.”

“As do I,” said Janeway. “Though I don’t know if I’ll be here to see it.”

The First Pilot looked at her thoughtfully. “Twelve seasons is a long time to be away from home,” he said, using the Terellian measurement of their seven years in the Delta Quadrant. “You must be eager to return.” He smiled suddenly. “So I will not keep you any longer, Captain Janeway. I’m sure you have much still to do before your launch. Just know that you have a friend in me now and forever.”

She was startled. Such a statement was a strong expression for a Terellian.

“And you have one in me,” she said, meaning every word. The First Pilot was a man of honor and integrity, and she was truly glad she’d made his acquaintance. “Perhaps someday you can come visit us in the Alpha Quadrant.”

“Perhaps,” he said. “But it’s hard to get away from my duties, especially now.”

She nodded in understanding. The all-out attack by the Free Terellia forces, and their subsequent rout, had emboldened sympathizers on Terellia. There had been outbreaks of violence all over the planet, and the government was currently fighting the worst kind of battle:  an open war of ideology with its own people. There was no easy solution to this one, and Janeway knew Corshon would be busy for some time to come.

Unfortunately, she’d become a symbol in this war. There had been a great deal of publicity about the Federation ship, which had first astonished the citizenry with one of the most unusual Giftings in history, and then followed that up by entering a battle and turning it in the government’s favor. Corshon had been very concerned about her public visibility, telling her that it made her a target for those who wanted vengeance for the rout of the Free Terellia forces. Since the banquet he’d increased her security, and she was now accompanied by not one but two guards in her hovercraft, plus a second craft carrying a driver and three more guards. She wasn’t thrilled with the extra guards, but Lynne had said she’d take all the security she could get and be glad for it. Janeway was more than ready to leave all this behind. Hopefully, when a Federation ship returned in six months, Terellia would have this problem well in hand. But she wouldn’t hold her breath.

“No government, no matter how perfect, has total support from its citizens,” she said. “Terellia will overcome this.”

“I have no doubt of that,” he agreed. “I’m only concerned about the cost.”

“Which is precisely what makes you an honorable man. You worry about the people on both sides of the argument.”

“They are all Terellians,” he said simply.

There wasn’t much she could say to that, so she held out her hand. “Goodbye, First Pilot.”

He took her hand and held it for several seconds as their eyes locked. “Goodbye, Captain.”

She released her grip and turned to find Lynne waiting. “Ms. Hamilton,” she said with a smile. “Shall we go?”

The First Pilot showed them out, and Janeway took one last look at the Space Defense Headquarters before ducking into the waiting hovercraft. Lynne followed her in, and they settled into the forward-facing seat. Their second guard was already in place in the rear-facing seat, as was the guard accompanying the driver. One of the guards from the craft behind them shut their door and made his way into his own craft. A moment later, both crafts slipped smoothly away, and Janeway settled into her seat.

This is it, she thought in some wonder. I’m done. In twenty-four hours I’ll be just another Starfleet captain, not the sole representative of the Federation. It was a heady feeling.

Lost in her thoughts of the upcoming launch, Janeway was startled when Lynne grabbed her arm. She looked over to see an expression of alarm on her wife’s face.

“This isn’t the way to the station,” Lynne whispered. Janeway looked out the window at the unfamiliar surroundings. The streets of Terellia were so convoluted that she wouldn’t have known if they were just taking an alternate route, but Lynne’s cortical implant had allowed her to build a virtual map in her head as they’d traveled over the last few weeks. If Lynne said they were going the wrong way, then they were.

She turned back to Lynne, but before she could say anything they were rocked in their seats by an explosion behind them. Swiveling to look out the back, Janeway got a glimpse of a twisted, smoking mass where the second hovercraft had been. When she faced forward again, their guard was pointing an energy weapon at her.

“Captain Janeway,” the guard said with an unpleasant smile, “there has been a slight change in your itinerary.” He rose, stepped to their seat, and pulled her comm badge from her jacket. Lynne’s was ripped off a moment later, and he returned to his seat.

“Where are you taking us?” she demanded.

But he refused to answer. Without taking his eyes off Janeway, he rapped on the soundproof partition behind him. A moment later the partition was lowered by the guard in front.

“Team Two is in place,” said the man with the weapon. The guard in the cockpit turned to look out the back, and Janeway followed his gaze. Another hovercraft had come in behind them, this one much larger than standard. Through its front window she could see quite a few heads.

She turned back to the guards. “This won’t accomplish anything.”

The one in the cockpit smiled at her. “We’ve already accomplished a great deal, Captain. This will demoralize the Terellian Defense. And before we’re done the entire sector will know not to interfere with our affairs.” He faced forward once again, and Janeway could hear him speaking quietly to the driver. The other guard watched her impassively, his hand never wavering as he covered her with his weapon. She sat back, outwardly at ease, but watching and waiting. She could feel the barely contained energy pouring off Lynne and knew that if she just gave her wife an opportunity, that guard wouldn’t be holding a weapon much longer.

But several minutes passed without any kind of opening, and she didn’t know how much time they had before their situation got even worse. It was time to act. She discreetly nudged Lynne, then let her gaze shift to the side window and widened her eyes. “Oh!” she exclaimed. The guard flicked his gaze to the window, and Lynne launched herself across the space between the seats. She moved so fast that the guard barely had time to see her before she was on top of him, snapping his wrist with her right hand and catching the weapon with her left. She smashed him across the side of the face with it, and by that time Janeway was in the fight as well, pulling the wounded guard off the seat and letting Lynne deal with the men in front. She grabbed the guard’s broken wrist and twisted it up behind him, ignoring his howls of pain as she watched Lynne quickly take out the second guard with a Vulcan nerve pinch, then put her arm around the throat of the driver and press the weapon to his temple.

“Stop the hovercraft,” she growled.

“Never!” he gasped. “Terellia will be free, and you’ll be dead!”

The hovercraft leaped forward, its sudden increase in speed knocking Janeway to the floor next to the wounded guard. A second later Lynne landed on top of her. She gathered Janeway up in her arms and, with a grunt of effort, rolled them both over until her back was against the front bench seat.

A thunderous crash sounded in Janeway’s ears as her body was violently crushed into Lynne’s, and pieces of the craft flew in all directions. Vaguely she saw a dark shape fly over their heads. Then all motion stopped and it was deathly quiet.

She brought her head up and looked around dazedly. Based on what she could see from her position on the floor, there wasn’t much left of the front of the craft. The wall of a building stood where the cockpit had been, and the nose of the craft had flattened into the partition separating the cockpit from the passenger compartment. The driver and front guard weren’t recognizable as humanoids. The guard who had been on the floor behind her was now lying on top of the bench seat above Lynne, his head bent at an odd angle.

She looked down to find Lynne gazing at her.

“Are you all right?” Janeway asked worriedly.

“I don’t know, I haven’t tried to move yet,” said Lynne. “Kathryn, we’ve got to get out of here. That wasn’t an accident; I saw that driver steer us into the building. He chose to die to make sure we died with him.”

Janeway nodded, her brain instantly switching into defensive mode. “Where’s the weapon?”

Lynne shook her head. “I dropped it when I saw him driving us into the building. All I thought about was protecting you. It could be anywhere.”

“If it’s even in one piece,” said Janeway as she carefully detached herself from Lynne’s grasp. She had just gotten to her knees when rough hands grabbed her and yanked her out of the craft. She barely had time to see a number of angry faces around her before she was slammed back against the remains of the hovercraft and held firmly by several hands.

“Get that other bitch!” shouted a man in the crowd. “Donsen, set up the field generator!”

“Yes sir!” another man shouted, running a few steps away from the crowd with a small box under his arm. He knelt to put the box on the street and began working a control panel. Then Lynne was being shoved against the craft beside her, a groan escaping as her head impacted a sharp edge of the shattered craft.

The man in charge stalked up to them and stood there, examining them calmly.

“You don’t seem like much to have destroyed years of planning,” he said. “But I’ve learned not to judge a story by its teller.” He turned to one of his men. “Ready to show?”

“Yes, sir.” The man held up a control pad and clicked a button. “We’re showing.”

The leader looked toward the large craft that was parked right behind their smashed hovercraft and began speaking in a louder voice. “I am Carlin Shorann, and I speak for Free Terellia. We have the Federation captain and her guard, and we will now complete the justice that the Terellian government should have dispensed. We will not allow aliens to interfere with our culture or our affairs!” He pointed at Janeway. “This one has already killed hundreds of loyal Terellian citizens, including the three men in this hovercraft who gave their lives to this cause. Yet our government calls her a hero and a savior. Pah!” He turned and spat in Janeway’s face. She didn’t flinch, merely glaring at him in fury.

“It is time for Terellian citizens to rise up against the corrupt government that purports to lead us. Lead us into degeneracy, they mean! Terellia must throw off the yoke of alien influence. But if our government won’t do it, then we, the loyal citizens, must take the responsibility instead.”

He stepped back, pulling an energy weapon from his belt. “I hope you’re prepared to die, Captain Janeway,” he said.

A shout from beside Janeway brought everyone’s attention to the sudden melee that had broken out. Lynne was fighting her captors with everything she had, and in seconds two of them were lying motionless on the ground while she grappled with a third. He got in a few good punches before she grabbed his head with both hands, twisted sharply and let go. He dropped at her feet with a sodden thump, his neck broken.

Lynne looked up and then threw herself to one side as an energy bolt sizzled past and slammed into the hovercraft where she’d just been standing. A second bolt went wide, missing both Lynne and the hovercraft, and suddenly the air around them shimmered with a blue radiance as a dome-shaped force field glowed from the impact of the bolt. The Free Terellians who weren’t trying to hold Janeway dove for the ground as the energy bolt ricocheted around the interior of the force field.

“Donsen, no!” shouted Shorann as he lay on the street. “Don’t fire unless you’re sure of the target!”

Taking advantage of the confusion, Lynne was instantly at Janeway’s side, nailing one of the men with a left-handed punch to the throat. He let out a wheezing cry and stumbled backward, falling to the ground as the bolt sizzled past him. Janeway now had one arm free, and made use of it aiding Lynne in getting the other two men off her. As they fought, she looked frantically for an energy weapon, but only Shorann and the man who’d fired the wild shot appeared to be armed.

She kneed one man in the crotch and caught him with an uppercut as he bent over, then pushed him away. Lynne followed her attack with a spin kick to his head, the impact throwing the man several feet before he crashed to the ground. He didn’t move again. Whirling back, Lynne hit the man on the other side of Janeway so hard that his skull crumpled under the impact, the bone no match for Lynne’s prosthetic hand. Then Janeway was free and Lynne turned to attack Shorann. An explosion to their right alerted everyone that the energy bolt had finally found a target, blasting a second hole through what was left of the damaged hovercraft. Instantly the remaining six Free Terellians jumped to their feet. Lynne took Shorann back down to the ground, and he lost his grip on his weapon. Unfortunately, the weapon skittered right to the feet of another Terellian, who picked it up and pointed it at Lynne. Now there were two men targeting her, waiting only for a clear shot. A third was running up to the two fighters on the ground, looking for a way to help Shorann, and the last two—including the one Lynne had punched in the throat—were coming at Janeway. She darted around them, her years of Velocity having made her very fast on her feet, and was on top of one of the armed men almost before he knew what was happening. He swung his weapon toward her, but she grabbed his wrist and twisted her body into his, sending him over her hip and onto the ground. She turned his wrist in the opposite direction as he flew through the air, letting his own body weight break it, and yanked the weapon out of his grasp. But his finger was caught in the trigger guard, and the two seconds it took her to free it were two seconds too many. She had just raised it to fire when a tremendous weight hit her from behind, and she went down with a man on top of her. A heavy boot landed on her wrist at the same time she heard a shot go off. It wasn’t her weapon.

No, it can’t be her. Please don’t let it be her. She struggled under the weight on her back, but now there were men all over her, taking the weapon from her hand, pulling her arms back and hauling her to her feet. Only then did she see the motionless figure in a black and gold uniform, lying in a pool of blood.

“No!” she screamed, and stomped on the instep of one of the men holding her. Her fear and fury were so great that they couldn’t maintain their grips; she broke loose and threw herself to her knees at Lynne’s side. “Oh, god, Lynne…”

Lynne’s chest was gaping open, the edges of the phaser wound seared and still smoking from the incineration of her uniform. Her ribs and sternum gleamed in the sun, and the pool of blood beneath her was spreading even as Janeway frantically tore off her jacket and packed one of the sleeves into the wound. She knew it was useless; she’d been around too long not to recognize a fatal wound when she saw one. Lynne was dying. Even if they could miraculously transport her directly to Voyager, there wouldn’t be much that Revi could do. And they weren’t going to get back to Voyager any time soon.

Lynne looked at her and whispered, “Boot knife.”

Janeway nodded and readied herself.

“Well, this is all very touching,” said Shorann, walking up stand on the other side of Lynne. “Don’t you think so, Donsen?”

The man who’d fired the wild shot came up next to Shorann, looking down at Janeway with a sneer. “Oh yes,” he agreed. “Too bad she’s not wired for a Gifting. Wouldn’t that be something to feel?”

Janeway was aware of the other four men coming up behind her. With a sob that wasn’t in the slightest bit faked, she threw herself face down on Lynne’s body, reaching out and getting a firm grip on the handle of the knife in Lynne’s right boot. This time, when hands curled around her body and began to haul her upright, she stayed limp until she was back on her feet. Then she whirled and buried her knife in the lower abdomen of the nearest man, right through his heart. Terellians had two hearts; the larger located in the lower right abdomen, and the smaller in the throat. She pulled the knife upward for maximum destruction before yanking it out and going for the next target. She stabbed him through the heart as well and managed to inflict several more cuts on the bodies around her before they finally disarmed her and slammed her back against the hovercraft. Panting, Shorann wiped the blood off his face and glared at her, holding her knife up between them.

“You have cost me far too much, Captain Janeway. I was going to give you a quick death, but I’ve changed my mind. Since you seem to be so fond of this knife, I think it’s only appropriate that I kill you with it.”

She surged forward, nearly breaking the hold of the men on either side of her, but they pushed her back and one of them kicked her in the side of the knee for good measure. She cried out as her leg gave way beneath her, and knew the knee was broken.

Shorann reached out to one of the men holding her—the one who had torn the weapon out of her hand—and plucked the phaser from his belt. He looked at her thoughtfully, then turned and gave it to Donsen, who stood just a few feet from Lynne’s body. “Here. I don’t trust her anywhere near this.”

Donsen took it and tucked it into his belt, holding his own weapon in a steady hand. “She won’t cause any more damage,” he said.

“I know she won’t,” said Shorann, turning back to Janeway. “But I will. Hold her head,” he snapped, and one of the men grabbed a fistful of her hair, pulling it back harshly. The other held her jaw in an iron grip.

Stepping close enough for Janeway to smell his sweat, Shorann slowly brought the knife up to eye level, letting her get a good look at it. She refused, instead staring straight into his eyes, showing him in the only way she had left that he might kill her, but he couldn’t beat her.

With a cruel smile, he moved the knife to the side of her face and pressed it into the skin. She tried to keep her eyes open, but the pain as he began slowly carving downward was too much. And then a gurgling cry sounded, and the pain stopped.

She opened her eyes to find Shorann turned away from her, looking behind him in shock. When she followed his gaze, she saw Donsen swaying on his feet, a knife protruding point outward from his lower abdomen. No, Janeway realized, not just a knife—a knife and a hand. Donsen’s heart was obliterated, and the blood pouring out of him had already pooled on the street. A second later the knife and hand pulled back and Donsen fell to the ground, revealing Lynne on her knees behind him. Her prosthetic arm flashed forward and Shorann staggered, clawing at the bloody hilt that had suddenly appeared in his throat. He fell at the same time that Lynne collapsed face down over Donsen’s body. But she was still moving, slowly reaching out for the weapon Donsen had dropped.

“Shorann!” One of the men holding Janeway looked frantically at his partner. “Hold her!” he said.

“No, wait!” said the other in panic, but his companion released his hold on Janeway and sprinted toward Lynne and Donsen. Janeway instantly swung her free fist toward the man still holding her, but he blocked her blow and kicked her in her broken knee, and she nearly passed out from the white-hot agony that flashed through her body. He pushed her back against the hovercraft, snarling his anger. Through her haze of pain she heard two shots being fired in quick succession, and the man holding her smashed her into the hovercraft again, apparently trying to headbutt her. But then she saw his face go slack as his grip loosened, and he slid down her body to lie motionless at her feet. The gaping hole in his lower back was still smoking.

Janeway looked around to see that she was the only one left standing. A clatter brought her eyes back to Lynne, who had dropped the weapon in her hand and was now rolling off Donsen. She landed on her back and lay still.

Janeway never knew how she made it from the hovercraft to Lynne with her broken knee. Certainly she didn’t feel a thing, not even when she collapsed at Lynne’s side.

“Oh, god,” she whispered, picking Lynne’s bloody hand up in her own and holding it tightly. “Lynne, please…please don’t leave me.”

Lynne looked at her, a sad, almost serene expression on her face. “No choice,” she murmured. She took a shuddering breath. “Funny. Always thought I’d die on a mountain.”

Janeway looked around for her uniform jacket, which had fallen out of the gaping wound in Lynne’s chest, and saw it lying in the street several feet away. Too far. She gently put Lynne’s hand down, tore her shirt over her head and carefully packed it into the wound. She had no illusions about stopping the bleeding, but at least she could give Lynne a few more seconds of life.

“You okay?” Lynne’s voice had diminished to a whisper.

Janeway barely held back her sob at the question. She picked Lynne’s hand up again and intertwined their fingers. “Yes. I’m okay.”

Lynne gave her a faint smile. “Then I was good enough.”

Janeway brushed the hair off her forehead, her fingers leaving a bloody track, and tried to summon up an answering smile. “You were always good enough.”

Lynne blinked slowly, the effort of opening her eyes seeming to be nearly too much. “Cold,” she whispered.

“Do you want my jacket?”

“No. Not that kind of cold.” Lynne gave her that slight smile again; she probably knew her body was cooling down from the blood loss. “Kathryn…take me to the mountain. Please.”

“Our engagement mountain?”

Lynne nodded, the movement barely perceptible.

“I will,” said Janeway, and now the tears she’d tried so hard to hold back escaped. She didn’t want Lynne’s last view of her to be this, but she couldn’t help it. Her heart was being slowly crushed inside her, and she knew that the best part of her was dying along with Lynne.

“I’ll take you there,” she said, injecting every bit of her love into her voice, “and we’ll sit on the edge and watch the sunset. And I’ll think about how you shocked the hell out of me when you pulled out that ring and proposed to me.”

There was that faint smile again, smaller this time. Lynne opened her mouth to answer, but nothing came out. With a tiny shake of her head, she moved her other hand, slowly positioning her fingers in a familiar sign. Janeway gave up and sobbed openly. “I love you too,” she gasped, hardly able to breathe. “I love you so much. Lynne…” She fought to control her voice, and whispered, “I don’t know how to live without you.”

Lynne could only look at her, the expression on her face one of depthless sorrow and understanding. And then there was nothing more to say; nothing to do but look at each other. Janeway held Lynne’s gaze unblinkingly, fighting to breathe through the agony of her grief, and she saw the exact moment when the life faded from those eyes. A few seconds later she heard the final, involuntary expulsion of air from lungs that would never take another breath, and Janeway knew she’d lost everything that mattered. Voyager was going home tomorrow, but her home was right here, dead on the street of an alien planet. She’d done what she had to for her crew; they’d go home and live their lives out the way they were meant to, but her life had just ended. It was truly over; she just didn’t care what happened to her anymore.

With a shaking hand, she caressed the side of Lynne’s face, not noticing that she was smearing blood all over it. She stared through blurred vision at the green eyes that were impossibly brilliant. It seemed so incongruous that Lynne’s eyes should still be so beautiful when she wasn’t there anymore.

“You told me that you came back from Earth because you could be more with me than without me,” she whispered, wiping away the tears that continued to blur her vision. “But I don’t think you ever realized how much more I was with you.” She leaned down and kissed lips that were still soft, though unresponsive, then rested her cheek against Lynne’s as the sobs came hard and fast. “How could you leave me?” she choked. “How am I supposed to go on? How, Lynne?”

The skin beneath her cheek was already cool, and Janeway pulled herself upright again, her breath coming in short gasps as she let her grief flow unhindered. She continued to caress Lynne’s face as she wept, looking into her eyes and thinking about the incredible times they’d shared. And as the memories grew in strength, her sobs lessened. Lynne was still alive in her mind. She always would be; nobody could take that away from her. They’d had two amazing years together, and those years would fuel her forever.

“Only two years,” she whispered. “I think I packed my whole life into two years. And you packed a hell of a lot in, too.” She thought of how Lynne had changed so much in such a short time:  from a bewildered woman who’d thought she was useless, to the confident, strong woman who had just saved her life against impossible odds. Raising her head, she surveyed the area around her, seeing for the first time just how many bodies littered the scene. Lynne had done all this? God, it was a war zone.

And then she froze as she saw the crowd on the other side of the force field.

There were hovercrafts parked all over, lights flashing on their roofs. She assumed there were probably sirens as well, but the force field apparently blocked all sound. It was utterly silent inside.

Dozens of soldiers were holding back a crowd of onlookers, and others were facing the force field, their weapons at the ready. Why bother? she thought. Who’s left to kill?

Her gaze stopped on First Pilot Corshon, who stood just outside the force field and looked at her with true sorrow in his eyes. He bowed his head to her, then raised his arm and pointed. She followed his gesture and realized that he was pointing at the field generator. Then she understood—they couldn’t do anything until the force field came down, and as the only person left alive inside, she was the only one who could disable it. She looked back at the First Pilot and shook her head. She wasn’t ready yet. When she took that force field down, it really would be over. They’d take Lynne away from her, and she’d have to be the captain again and put up a good front. Everything would change. But right now, here in the safety of this silent tomb, she and Lynne could still be together.

She returned her gaze to Lynne’s unseeing eyes, wondering if they were a little less bright or if it was just her imagination.

“They want me to take down the field,” she told her. “But the minute I do that, I become Captain Janeway again. You were the only one who truly knew me as Kathryn.” The tears that had instantly stopped when she’d seen the crowd now returned in full force.

“I don’t know if I can ever be Kathryn again,” she said, her voice breaking. “It’ll hurt too much without you.”

She could almost hear Lynne’s voice in her head, telling her that she had her family; she’d see her mother and sister in three days, and Seven and Revi were family as well.

“I know,” she said. “But it’s not the same. None of them are you.” She ran her fingers down Lynne’s jawline, thinking of her wife’s last words.

“I can’t believe you still didn’t think you were good enough. God, Lynne, you were better than anyone I know. And today I think even Tuvok would say that you surpassed him. There are eleven dead men lying out here, and I only killed two of them. You took out nine men to save me.”

A sob forced its way out, painful in its intensity, and she fought for breath. She didn’t want to cry anymore. She wanted to talk to Lynne, to tell her all the things that suddenly seemed so important. She didn’t have the patience for tears; there was too much to say. And they only had these few moments left to be together.

“I always told you that you were beautiful,” she said, in control of her voice once again. “But you were also a warrior, and maybe I should have told you that as well. Maybe then it wouldn’t have taken this to convince you.” She smiled sadly. “I wish you’d seen yourself the way I saw you. I always knew you were good enough. For a woman who was yanked out of the twenty-first century, you took some amazing things in stride. You just adapted and adjusted and did whatever you had to do to become the best.” Her voice lowered to a whisper. “And you were the best, sweetheart.”

She thought about some of the things Lynne had seen and done, and a true smile came to her lips when she remembered Lynne in a snowsuit, dancing on the summit of the mountain at Bliss; Lynne in sweaty workout gear, leaning forward to tell Mark about taking vitamins to keep up with Janeway in the bedroom; Lynne in her short black dress, doing a strip tease as a birthday gift; Lynne in uniform, circling a carbon copy of herself in Janeway’s ready room and showing no surprise or fear, but merely demanding to know what the hell it was.

She ran trembling fingers through Lynne’s thick hair. “You told my mom that you thought I was unique in both my time and yours. I could say the same thing about you. There’s no one like you, sweetheart. No one. There never will be again. You challenged me and fought me, and sometimes I felt like I loved you in spite of myself, because you made my life so goddamned complicated.” She smiled again, and now the tears flowed freely, but without the painful grief. She felt almost as if she were floating; her emotions suspended except for the love that filled her as she spoke to Lynne.

“You always surprised me. That strip tease of yours…god. I thought I’d die from arousal. You have no idea how sexy you were. All that practice paid off, sweetheart, because that dance was flawless. But I still wish you’d let me see the logs of your rehearsals. I think that would have been a hell of a gift, the chance to see you stumbling and laughing at yourself and falling off that chair—all because you wanted to give me something I’d remember. It worked, you know. I’ll remember it for the rest of my life.

“I’ll remember so much,” she continued. “How you looked at me that very first day, when you were so scared and so determined not to show it. But you gave me a run for my money even then. I knew from the start I couldn’t just tell you what to do. I had to put some thought into how to handle you, because you were different from everyone else on the ship. God, I had no idea then just how different you were.” Ruefully she shook her head. “You certainly set me straight on that when you went down to bring B’Elanna back. When you proved to me that I might be the captain of Voyager, but not of you. I couldn’t be the captain around you. Every time I tried, it backfired.” A grin crossed her face. “Except in the bedroom. I think that’s the one place you ever allowed me to be in control. And even there I always knew it was just temporary.”

She swiped at the tears that were flooding down her face, impatient with herself. She wasn’t sad, not really, so why was she still crying? All she wanted to do was talk to Lynne. To stay here in this moment, floating between realities. To stay here with the woman she loved and never, ever let her go.

“You were so patient with me while I learned how to be a wife,” she said, tightening her fingers around Lynne’s. “I fucked it up so badly, and you just kept coming back, loving me anyway…all those times we sat on the couch facing each other, me with my coffee and you with your cocoa, just talking.”

In her mind’s eye she saw Lynne sitting with her back against the couch arm, cradling her cup of hot chocolate, quirking an eyebrow. So characteristic of their time together. So characteristic of Lynne.

“Oh, that’s right,” she said, a smile growing as the memory surfaced, “I never told you. That entity from the nebula by the Barek homeworld? Remember how you told it to try hot cocoa after it said my coffee was foul? It loved your hot cocoa. Whoever would have thought that an energy-based, twelve-thousand-year-old entity would go for your comfort food?”

Then her smile turned to a frown. “The last thing that entity said to me was that death was just an expectation, and I should look past it. I wish it were here to explain itself now. How can I look past this? You’re—”

She stopped, the thought slamming into her brain with the force of an Indiana summer thunderbolt. The floating sensation vanished abruptly, and all the horror of the moment came crashing down on her. With one very important difference. A difference that filled her with hope and absolute, crushing fear.

“You’re not dead,” she whispered. “You’re part Borg. Oh, fuck, I’ve been wasting time. How could I have wasted so much time?”

Borg drones could be reactivated for up to seventy-two hours after death, as long as their neural pathways were intact. Just a few months after Seven had come on board Voyager, she’d brought Neelix back from death by injecting him with nanoprobes taken from her own body and modified. Janeway had seen his reanimation with her own eyes. And he hadn’t even been part Borg. Lynne already had those nanoprobes.

She was only dead as long as Janeway believed it.

Forgetting all about her knee, she stood up and instantly collapsed again, rolling onto her back and clenching her teeth against the pain. When she had it under control she rolled onto her stomach, looking for the weapon Lynne had dropped. It was a few feet away, and she crawled on her forearms until she could reach it. Remembering the wild shot ricocheting around the force field earlier, she aimed very carefully before pressing the firing button.

The field generator exploded, and instantly a cacophony of sound assaulted her ears. Sirens, shouts, a multitude of voices, and—she looked up—yes, hoverfliers overhead, no doubt recording this whole diaster for tonight’s news. Pounding feet neared her and First Pilot Corshon dropped to a crouch beside her.

“Captain Janeway! Spirits, I’m so sorry. We detected the hovercraft explosion and came after you right away, but we were too late. Please forgive me for not protecting you. I failed you.”

Janeway had no time for this, nor for any semblance of diplomacy. “I need to get her back to my ship, now. Get us to the nearest transport station.”

“Let us take you to one of our medical centers; you’re inj—”

“NO! My ship. She’s not dead, but if you don’t get us back to my ship she will be. Do it, now!”

He looked at her in bewilderment, but nodded. “We’ll get you there.” He stood up and stepped back as two military medics arrived with an anti-grav stretcher. One of them passed a wand over her knee and the pain instantly vanished; she went limp with relief. The other attached an immobilizer to her leg, and together they gently lifted her onto the stretcher. When she felt the stretcher moving, she propped herself up to watch Lynne. She had also been lifted onto a stretcher, and one of the medics was draping a purple cloth over her face.

“Stop!” she shouted. “Put that away. She’s not dead.”

The medic looked at First Pilot Corshon, obviously assuming that she was in grief-stricken denial. Corshon nodded. “Leave it off,” he said. “Load them up and get them to Station B-612.”

Soon Janeway and Lynne were side by side in the back of a hovercraft, speeding through the streets. Janeway reached over and found Lynne’s hand, gripping it tightly in her own. “Hang on, sweetheart,” she whispered. “I’ll get you back.”

It couldn’t have been more than three minutes before they stopped again. The rear door opened, and her stretcher was quickly lifted out and pushed into the transport station. Once again she propped herself up on her elbows, watching to make sure they didn’t separate her from Lynne. Only when their stretchers were both safely on the transport pad did she allow herself to slump onto her back.

“Set coordinates for Voyager’s sickbay.” That was First Pilot Corshon.

“Yes, sir.”

“First Pilot,” Janeway called out. “Thank you.”

Then the transport station vanished, and she was surrounded by the familiar walls of sickbay. Revi was instantly at her side.

“Kathryn! Thank the gods. We’ll take care of her.” She nodded to the Doctor and the two of them lifted Lynne onto a biobed. The Doctor turned back toward Janeway.

“Computer, activate medical force field,” said Revi. She sprayed something in Lynne’s eyes as the field shimmered into place, then began to cut away her uniform.

“Captain,” said the Doctor. “Let’s get you comfortable.” He pushed one arm beneath her shoulders, preparing to lift her to a biobed.

“No,” she said, refusing to take her eyes off Lynne. “I’m not going anywhere until she comes back.”

“Captain, you may not have noticed, but you’re injured. Doctor Sandovhar will do all she can. Let me treat you.”

“No!” She tore her eyes away from Lynne and glared at him. “Don’t touch me.” Swiveling back to watch her wife, she asked worriedly, “Why isn’t she reactivating her?”

“Kathryn,” called Revi, who apparently had heard every word, “I have to reconnect her severed arteries and veins first, repair her heart, and then do a transfusion. Otherwise she’ll just die again immediately after reactivation.”

“Oh.” Janeway’s voice was very small.

“It’s going to take me a while. Let the Doctor treat you, Kathryn. That’s an order.” Revi never looked up from her work, but the command in her voice was unmistakable. Janeway stared; never in her seven years on Voyager had she been ordered to do anything. Well, except when the President of the Federation ordered her to use the slipstream drive, and look how far he got with that.

“Doctor,” said Revi in that same voice, “get to work on that facial wound and her knee, and if she gives you any trouble, sedate her.”

Janeway was stunned. She wouldn’t really, would she? But she had enough doubt to not protest this time when the Doctor lifted her off the stretcher and onto a biobed. He removed the immobilizer, cut off her pant leg and passed a tricorder probe over her knee. Making a disapproving sound, he shook his head. “This is going to require surgery,” he said. “You’ve got pieces of your patella floating loose in there.”

As if she cared. All she asked was that he stay out of her line of sight while working on her; she didn’t think she could maintain her sanity if she couldn’t see Lynne.

Almost as if he’d heard her thoughts, the Doctor moved up to her head, standing squarely between her and Lynne. She shifted, trying to see around him.

“Hold still, Captain,” he said. “I need to stop this bleeding.”

“What bleeding?” she asked irritably.

“You’ve got a deep incision from your temple to your jaw, and you’re bleeding all over my biobed.” He wiped away some of the blood with a sterile cloth and began moving a muscle regenerator over the wound. She pushed up with her feet, trying to shove her body further up the bed so that she could see past the Doctor. But she’d forgotten about the broken knee. Whatever the Terellian medic had given her was apparently wearing off, and she hissed in pain.

“Captain, stop moving! You’re only going to hurt yourself!”

“Then get out of my way!”

“That’s it!” said Revi’s voice. “Doctor, sedate her.”

“No!” Janeway couldn’t believe Revi would actually do that. “Revi, please!” She didn’t even care that she was pleading with her CMO in front of a witness.

“Then hold still and be quiet, Kathryn; I don’t need the distraction.”

Janeway realized what Revi was saying, and felt instantly guilty. Lynne needed Revi’s full attention.

“Fine,” she said. “Do what you have to, Doctor.”

“Thank you,” he said sarcastically. He injected her neck with a hypospray, and the pain receded once again. Janeway closed her eyes, forcing herself to relax. Revi would take care of Lynne. She’d said so. She’d said “after reactivation” as if it were a sure thing. Lynne would come back, the light would shine in her eyes again, and she’d look at Janeway and tell her everything was fine. Oh, god, she wanted to see those eyes again. The memory of Lynne staring unseeingly at the sky was haunting her. She needed a new reality to replace it.

“Captain,” said the Doctor quietly, and in a voice so kind she hardly recognized it, “Lynne suffered no serious head injuries. Based on what we saw, I think she can be reactivated without any lasting problems.”

Why was he being so nice? She opened her eyes and her vision swam briefly; then she realized she’d been crying again.

“We were all so sorry to see what happened,” he continued. “It was very difficult to watch.”

She frowned. “What do you mean? How did you see it?”

“The Free Terellians took over the broadcast frequency of the government news agency. It was broadcast system wide.”

Janeway remembered Shorann asking one of his men if they were “ready to show,” and the speech he’d given right before pulling out his weapon to kill her.

“Everyone saw that?”

The Doctor nodded.

Janeway closed her eyes again. Jesus. That meant every member of her crew had watched her breaking down in sobs as Lynne was dying. And they’d watched her crying and talking to Lynne long after she was dead. She seethed with anger, trying not to let it show. She felt violated. That was an intensely intimate moment, not for goddamned public viewing! It was between her and Lynne, and nobody else.

“I don’t think there was a dry eye on this ship,” the Doctor continued. Janeway’s eyes flew open.

“Doctor,” she growled, “I don’t want to hear this. Ever. Do you understand?”

He paused in his work, staring in surprise. “Captain—”

“That was not the business of anyone here,” she snapped, and his eyes widened.

“We were—”

“Doctor,” she interrupted in the tone she reserved for stupid officers who were really pissing her off, “drop it. Now and forever.”

He closed his mouth and was ostentatiously silent as he completed the treatment on her face. If he thought she was bothered in any way by his pointed silence, he couldn’t have been more wrong. And when he finally moved down to her knee to prep it for surgery, she breathed a sigh of relief. She could see Lynne again.

But he reappeared all too soon. “I’ll need to sedate you for the surgery, Captain,” he said, reaching out with a hypospray. She caught his wrist and glared at him.

“No, you won’t. I know damned well that knee isn’t life threatening. You can delay the surgery until I see Lynne.”

“Fine,” he huffed. “You’re impossible. Let your patella stay shattered; it doesn’t bother me.”

Janeway wasn’t even looking at him anymore. Revi had shifted position and Janeway was watching intently, wondering if she was going to reactivate Lynne now. But Revi bent over and began working on another part of the chest wound instead.

“Doctor,” she called, “if the captain doesn’t require your services, I could use some assistance.”

With a final glare at Janeway, the Doctor went through the medical force field and stood on the opposite side of the biobed from Revi. She said something to him in a voice too low for Janeway to hear, and he turned to select a tool from the tray. Then he bent over Lynne as well, and Janeway had no idea what was going on. She fumed in frustration, but mindful of Revi’s warning she said nothing, forcing herself to wait quietly while her entire universe hung by a thread.

The surgery took over two hours. During that time Seven, Chakotay, B’Elanna and Tuvok all came and left again, none of them able to withstand Janeway’s mood. She refused to take her eyes from Lynne and spoke only in monosyllables, barely acknowledging either their questions or their well-meaning but intolerable assurances. The only person she spoke a whole sentence to was Tuvok, and that was just to tell him that he should be proud of his student.

“I am,” he told her calmly. “Ms. Hamilton performed her duty in an exemplary fashion.”

She shook her head, still watching Lynne, and didn’t answer him. Duty, she thought. Was that duty? She killed nine men, four of them after she should already have been dead.

Some time after Tuvok left, Revi and the Doctor finally straightened up and replaced their tools on the tray. Janeway felt chills running down her spine as Revi moved to the blood transfuser and activated it. They were close.

The transfuser used electrical stimuli to induce the heart to pump, and a self-contained transporter to continuously transport a stream of blood directly into the now-active heart. Within five minutes Revi ended the blood transport, and Janeway’s chills increased. She knew that Lynne’s blood volume had been restored and was now circulating around her body.

Revi turned around and met Janeway’s eyes.

“I’m beginning the reactivation sequence now,” she said. Janeway nodded, her mouth dry with fear. If this didn’t work…

She couldn’t think that way. It would work. Death was merely another expectation, at least in this case.

Revi injected Lynne in the throat, and instantly a familiar green glow enveloped Lynne’s body. There was no mistaking the Borg influence. The glow grew in intensity, becoming almost blinding, then faded away.

Lynne didn’t move.

Janeway held her breath. What was wrong? Neelix had sat up immediately after reactivation and talked as if he’d never left. Why wasn’t Lynne sitting up? Why wasn’t she looking over here and smiling, letting Janeway know she was okay?

The Doctor stood back, a frown on his face as Revi ran a probe over Lynne’s chest, then up and down the length of her body. Neither of them were saying anything.

Janeway let her head roll back on the pillow, looking away from Lynne for the first time, and closed her eyes. It hadn’t worked. The damage had obviously been too severe, and they didn’t know how to tell her.

Oh, god, she thought, what do I do now? She’d been hanging on to that thread of hope with such desperation; and now it was gone. There was nothing left. Lynne really was dead.

Was it possible to die from grief?

She jumped when a warm hand touched her shoulder, and her eyes flew open to see Revi looking down at her with a tired expression on her face.

“Don’t say it,” said Janeway. She couldn’t hear this. That would make it real.

Revi squeezed her shoulder. “She’s alive, Kathryn. She’s going to be fine.”

Janeway felt the shock all the way down to her toes, and turned her head to look at Lynne. Nothing had changed. “But she’s not moving,” she said.

“That’s because she’s unconscious. She’s recovering from a fatal wound; give her some time.”

Janeway rolled her head back and stared into Revi’s eyes, almost unwilling to believe. If she believed and it turned out not to be true, she’d never survive.

Revi nodded. “She’s okay, really. Would you like to see?”

Janeway sat up so fast that Revi barely pulled her head back in time. “Yes!”

“Doctor, would you give me a hand?” asked Revi, as she picked up the immobilizer and replaced it on Janeway’s leg. The Doctor came to Janeway’s bedside and together he and Revi supported her as she slid off the biobed to stand on her good leg. Then they lifted her up slightly and carried her the few steps to Lynne’s side, where they let her stand again.

Janeway looked down at Lynne’s face. The once-staring eyes were now closed, and the white skin was pink again. She pulled her arm off the Doctor’s shoulders, reached down and laid a gentle hand on Lynne’s chest, just above the now-sealed wound. The ribs rose and fell under her hand, and she closed her eyes in gratitude, letting her sense of touch transmit the proof of life.

Lynne was alive.

“Thank you,” she whispered, not knowing who she was thanking. Revi and the Doctor, for performing the surgery? The Borg Queen, for giving Lynne the nanoprobes that kept her from really dying? Lynne herself, for being too stubborn to die permanently?

The last thought made her smile, and she opened her eyes to gaze at the beloved face that looked so peaceful in repose. It was clean again; Revi or the Doctor had wiped off the blood that Janeway herself had unintentionally smeared there. But there was something around her eyes.

“What’s this?” she asked, pointing.

“Hydration gel,” said Revi. “Her eyes were desiccated from being open so long.”

“Can I clean it off?”

Revi paused, then said, “Doctor? Will you get her a damp sterile pad?”

The Doctor went off without a word, returning with a warm, wet absorbent square.

“Thank you,” said Janeway. With the utmost care, she gently swabbed the excess hydration gel from around Lynne’s eyes. When she was finished, something deep inside her had quietly settled back into place. She felt calm; almost sleepy.

“All right,” she said. “Let’s take care of this knee.”

“About damn time,” said Revi, and Janeway smiled at her. It felt wonderful.

 

 

 

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