chapter 19

 

 

The first call from Revi came three days later. Janeway wasn’t aware of it at all, since it happened at night while she was asleep. Lynne told her about it the next morning as they dressed for duty.

“Were you able to help?” asked Janeway.

“Well, I did for the moment. She hated linking in with me, and made sure I knew it, but by the end she was definitely feeling better. The question is, how long will that last?”

“So today’s the day, then.”

Lynne nodded. “Yup. Time to put my money where my mouth was. I just wish it hadn’t been quite so soon.” She pulled on her uniform jacket and zipped it up. “It’s going to be really weird to take this off in the mess hall. And if anyone says a word you’re probably going to need security there.”

Janeway stepped in front of her and took both hands in hers. “You are security, Lynne. And I expect you to be a complete professional whether or not your crewmates are.”

“You’re holding me to a higher standard?”

“You’re my wife, aren’t you? Of course I am.”

Lynne gave her a half-smile. “Great. You didn’t tell me about that when I signed up.”

“You should have read the fine print.”

They stared at each other for a moment, then Janeway drew Lynne into her arms and hugged her. “You’ll be fine. No matter what happens, and I don’t think anything will, just remember that I love you and that you’re the sexiest thing walking.”

She felt Lynne’s chuckle. “No, that would be you, Captain. All your normal sex appeal combined with that uniform—whoo. I think it’s the four pips that do it for me.”

Janeway pulled back. “Maybe when you get home tonight, you can take this uniform off me.”

“Are you trying to take my mind off lunch?”

“Is it working?”

Lynne tugged her back in and squeezed her tightly. “Yes,” she said. “It’s working. I love you, Kathryn.”

They went about their morning quietly and shared a final kiss at the door before walking into the corridor. As she always did when they left together, Lynne rode the turbolift to the bridge with Janeway, then took it back down to the security offices on deck thirteen.

Janeway walked onto her bridge with a smile on her face, which naturally attracted Chakotay’s attention.

“Good day already?” he asked.

She considered it. “Yes,” she decided. “And I’m hoping it’s going to end even better.” She compartmentalized her personal life and slipped into captain mode. “Senior staff meeting in half an hour, Chakotay. We’re going to build the slipstream drive.”

 

 

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Janeway spent some time wondering whether or not she should go to the mess hall for lunch. Would Lynne appreciate the support? She hadn’t asked for it. But then, she probably wouldn’t have even if she’d wanted it.

In the end it was a moot point; Janeway couldn’t stay away. She left for lunch a few minutes early in order to secure a good vantage point, and was sitting at a corner table with a perfect view of the doors when Lynne and Revi came in.

She could see at a glance that Revi was enjoying this tremendously. She had Lynne’s jacket folded over her cybernetic arm while her human arm was tucked into Lynne’s—obviously she had taken the “escort” part of their bargain very seriously. She looked around the room and gave Janeway a big smile, her white teeth flashing against her dark face. A moment later Lynne saw her too, but her smile was far more constrained. She was obviously uncomfortable.

They made their way over, though it took some time as Revi pointedly stopped at several tables along the way, conversing with various crewmembers. Janeway just shook her head; she should have known Revi would take full advantage. She felt a bit sorry for Lynne, but her wife had gotten herself into this. Besides, she was hoping it would be a real step forward for her.

At last the couple settled onto the chairs opposite Janeway.

“Hello, Kathryn,” said Revi cheerfully. “Thanks for lending me your wife. She makes a fine escort.”

“Yes, I can see you’ve been enjoying yourself,” said Janeway.

Revi laughed. “I have, actually. It does my heart good to see that it’s as hard for her to do this as it was for me to link in with her. Paybacks are a bitch, right Lynne?” And to Janeway’s complete surprise, Revi reached over and casually drew her fingers across the exposed part of Lynne’s shoulder implant.

Lynne jumped and turned on Revi. “Goddammit, Revi! Would you stop that?”

“Nope,” said Revi. “We never agreed that I had to keep my hands off you. I personally find this implant incredibly sexy, though I may be somewhat biased.” She shot an exaggerated look of concern toward Janeway. “But maybe I should have asked your permission first. Kathryn, do you mind if I touch Lynne’s shoulder?”

Lynne looked at her beseechingly, and Janeway was torn between laughter and outrage. It took her only a moment to realize that Revi had an agenda—she was desensitizing Lynne to exposing her implant in public. Rather than ignoring it, she was focusing attention on it.

“You two have a bargain, and I’m staying out of it,” said Janeway.

“Thanks a lot, Kathryn,” muttered Lynne.

Revi beamed at her. “Yes, thank you, Kathryn. I promise I’ll give her back to you fully dressed and unharmed.”

Fortunately, Janeway was saved from having to formulate a response by the arrival of Seven.

“May I join you?” she asked politely.

“Please,” said Janeway, indicating the chair next to her. But Seven did not sit immediately. Instead, she reached across the table and lightly ran her fingers over Lynne’s implant in what was undeniably a sensuous caress. Lynne’s eyes went wide. So did Janeway’s.

“I am glad to see you in this garment,” Seven said. “I find this implant to be aesthetically pleasing.” She punctuated the statement with another caress, and Lynne shivered.

“Jesus, Seven! Sit down!” she said in a slightly desperate tone.

Seven sat and Revi turned her head away, but Janeway could see her lips twitching. It confirmed what she’d already suspected:  Seven had been put up to this.

They placed their orders with Neelix, and while they waited B’Elanna walked up, grabbing a chair from the adjoining table.

“Got room for another?”

Everyone nodded, and B’Elanna sat at the end of the table nearest Lynne. “Hey, Fossil. Good to see you showing a little skin again.” She leaned behind Lynne and ran her fingers over the implant. “Ooo, I like it. It’s sexy; looks good on you. Feels nice, too.”

Lynne turned and grabbed her wrist in a less than gentle hold. “Don’t do that!”

B’Elanna started to laugh, and Lynne looked around the table with a plaintive expression. “Did I just become public property or something?”

At that moment Tom and Harry arrived. Tom leaned down to kiss B’Elanna, then looked over at Lynne. “Oh, yeah, that’s nice.” He reached out, but before he could make contact Lynne had crushed his hand to the table.

“That’s enough!” she said, holding Tom’s wrist and glaring at everyone in turn. “I am not some sort of lucky charm that you all get to touch. Keep your hands off me!”

“Does that include me?” asked Janeway, who had figured out Revi’s game and thoroughly approved of it.

Lynne’s exasperated look nearly undid her, but she managed to keep her face straight.

“You know better, Kathryn.”

“Yes, I do.” Janeway stood up, reached across the table and caressed Lynne’s implant in a far more sensuous manner than anyone else had. She knew exactly where to touch it, and allowed her fingers to wander under the fabric of Lynne’s shirt and glide over the starburst center.

“Oh, god,” Lynne mumbled, closing her eyes. Then they flew open again and her face turned red. “Kathryn!”

“What?” Janeway asked innocently. She kept her hand where it was and met Lynne’s eyes with all the guilelessness she could muster. Lynne glared, but obviously could think of nothing to say that wouldn’t betray her arousal to the entire table. Seven and Revi knew, of course, but B’Elanna, Tom and Harry didn’t.

Finally Lynne growled, “Would you stop?”

“Oh, all right.” Janeway sat back down and arranged her napkin in her lap. “But just for the record, I agree with everyone at the table. I think it looks great on you.”

A chorus of agreement rose from the group, and Lynne ducked her head in embarrassment. Just then Chakotay walked up.

“Hey, I didn’t know there was a meeting,” he said with a smile.

Lynne brandished her fork at him. “Don’t even think about it, Chakotay, or I’ll tear your arm off.”

Chakotay was startled. “Don’t think about what? What did I do?”

At that point Revi gave up and fell apart laughing. “Oh, gods,” she said between snorts of laughter, “that was perfect!”

The light dawned over Lynne’s head. “You bitch! You planned this whole thing! What did you do, call everyone in advance?”

Revi wrapped her arms around her stomach and tried desperately to get control of herself. “Everyone except Kathryn and Chakotay,” she gasped. “And they played their roles perfectly anyway.” She wiped her eyes and sat up straight. “Nice one, Kathryn,” she managed, then began to laugh again.

“You are so dead,” Lynne said.

“Been there, done that,” said Revi. “I’ve rarely felt so alive as I do right now.”

Lynne had half-risen, prepared to exact revenge, but at Revi’s statement she fell back into her chair, utterly undone. “Oh, Revi.”

“It’s true,” Revi said, her laughter fading away. “Pax?” She held out her hand.

Lynne took it in a gentle grasp. “Pax.”

They smiled at each other before letting go.

“Oh, and Lynne?” Revi gave Lynne a rather evil grin. “Don’t ever try to hustle a hustler.”

The table broke out in laughter as Lynne’s jaw dropped open. She couldn’t help but smile as well, and gave Janeway a sheepish look and a shrug.

 

 

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Janeway worked a bit late that day, delaying the unavoidable. She knew there would be a price to pay for the liberties she’d taken at lunch, and was feeling a little nervous about returning to her quarters. She hadn’t seen Lynne since they’d parted at the end of the lunch break, and had no idea what sort of mood her wife might be in.

But she could only stay away so long. When she finished recording a message for Admiral Necheyev, stating her decision to begin construction of the slipstream drive, she shut down her terminal and left her ready room. It was times like these that she wished her commute between work and home was a little longer than two minutes.

Her quarters were entirely dark, though, and she guessed Lynne was working late as well. For a moment her heart sank. What if Lynne really was angry with her and was avoiding her? Maybe she shouldn’t have been so bold.

“Lights,” she called, then stopped when the room remained dark. “Oh, great.” She hit her comm badge. “Janeway to engineering. Have someone check the power supply to my quarters. The lights are out.”

“We’ll get on it immediately, Captain.”

Working by feel and long familiarity, she opened the panel beside the door and pulled out a wristlight. Since a power outage on a starship meant total, impenetrable darkness, every room had at least one wristlight in a small locker beside the door. She snapped on the light and carried it in one hand while unzipping her jacket with the other.

When she walked through the bedroom door, she had just time to register something moving before she was grabbed and slammed against the wall. The wristlight went flying, its beam slashing around the ceiling and walls before coming to rest on the deck. The light it provided gave her just enough vision to strike out at the intruder, her defensive training taking over without conscious thought. But the fight lasted only a few seconds before her wrists were held in an inhuman grip and a warm body pushed her back against the wall. As soft lips covered hers she ceased struggling, having recognized the long length of body pressed against her.

As soon as the kiss ended she gasped, “Goddammit Lynne, you scared the hell out of me!”

“And you deserved it,” said Lynne in a low voice. “Computer, reactivate lights, one-quarter, Hamilton alpha one six nine six five.”

Janeway blinked in the illumination and then glared at her wife. “Not funny, Lynne.”

“Oh, and playing with my implant in front of all our friends was?”

Well, there was that. Not wanting to give in, Janeway tugged at Lynne’s grip. “Let me go.”

“I don’t think so,” said Lynne. “I kind of like you this way. At least I’m doing you the courtesy of playing with you in private.” She reached down with her human hand and slowly pulled Janeway’s shirt out of her waistband.

Janeway was still irritated. “I’m not in the mood. Not after that.”

“But you said I could take this uniform off you after our shift.”

“I didn’t mean like this, and you know it.” She tried to pull her arms down, but Lynne’s prosthetic arm could not be budged. Janeway already knew how strong it was; her efforts were largely for show. She could stop this whole situation in an instant if she wanted to, but her irritation was more than matched by her arousal. She’d been worried about Lynne being angry with her—but damn, if she’d known this was waiting for her, she’d have come home earlier.

Lynne ran her fingers lightly over Janeway’s stomach, then slowly slid them up under the shirt to cup a breast through the bra. Janeway gritted her teeth.

“You know,” said Lynne conversationally, gently rubbing her thumb over a nipple, “when Revi touched my implant it was really startling. At first I didn’t think there was anything sexual in it, because god, how could there be? I mean, it was Revi. But then she did it again, in the mess hall.” She slid her hand over to the other breast. “And then Seven did it too, and she didn’t hide her intent at all. It was so obviously deliberate. But I was so stunned that she’d do that in public I didn’t know how to respond. Then B’Elanna did it, which I’m fairly sure was innocent. And then you stood up.”

Janeway swallowed hard as Lynne stared into her eyes.

“You weren’t innocent, were you, Kathryn?”

“No,” admitted Janeway.

“No,” repeated Lynne thoughtfully. She pushed up Janeway’s bra and resumed her caresses, this time on naked skin. Janeway fought the urge to close her eyes.

“No, you deliberately touched me in a way that you knew would look perfectly innocent to everyone except Seven and Revi—but it wasn’t. In fact, it was highly arousing. Even more so because it was in front of almost the entire senior staff, and I couldn’t believe you were doing it. I never thought you had the balls, Kathryn.”

That brought Janeway’s eyes wide open, and she glared at Lynne. “Think again.”

“Oh, believe me, I’ve revised my opinion of you. Especially after spending this entire afternoon in a perpetual state of arousal. I’ve been thinking of nothing but getting back at you, love. That was one of the most shocking moments of my life, but looking back on it, it’s become one of the most erotic. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the sight of you deliberately turning me on in front of your crew.”

She bent her head and began suckling a nipple through the thin fabric of the shirt, while her free hand wandered up and down Janeway’s body. Janeway squirmed, putting up a token fight, but it had already become an effort to remember why she was irritated. Lynne continued her caresses and her sucking, concentrating her attention on that one nipple and never varying the pressure. Soon Janeway’s movements were for real as she writhed in Lynne’s grasp, trying to move her body away from the sweet torture. But her wrists were pinned and Lynne’s legs were inside her own, making resistance impossible.

At last Lynne broke away, only to take Janeway’s mouth in a bruising, possessive kiss, the force of it pushing her head against the wall. It was aggressive and exciting, and Janeway wanted more. As their tongues slid against each other she felt her pants being unfastened. A moment later Lynne slipped her hand inside and stroked the sensitive skin, making a small sound of satisfaction in her throat when she felt the abundant lubrication. Breaking the kiss, she smiled at Janeway in triumph.

“I thought you said you weren’t in the mood,” she said, pulling her hand out and holding it up between them. “Your body says different.”

“Fuck you,” said Janeway, breathing hard. She was physically helpless and hopelessly turned on, but still pissed at Lynne’s self-satisfied attitude.

Lynne laughed. “Later, love, I promise. But right now it’s my turn to fuck you.” With that she brought her hand back down and entered Janeway slowly, watching her as she slid her fingers inside.

“Don’t close your eyes,” she whispered, pulling back and just as slowly pushing in again. “I want you to look at me while I’m taking you. I want you to think about how I felt at lunch today, when you touched me with everyone watching.” The strokes never varied in speed, remaining maddeningly slow, but when Lynne added a thumb to the clitoris Janeway found her ability to focus waning.

“I spent the whole afternoon thinking about this,” Lynne continued softly. “About how I could make you understand how helpless you made me feel. There was nothing I could say that wouldn’t have let everyone know what touching those implants can do to me. All I could do was look at you, with that knowing smile on your face, deliberately turning me on. Taking advantage of me, pushing me, arousing me in front of your crew. It was so…fucking…hot.” She punctuated each of the last words with a forceful thrust, then bit Janeway on the side of the throat. The cry that was wrung out of Janeway was immediately swallowed in another possessive kiss, while the hard thrusting continued. Janeway was so turned on by her position, by Lynne’s words, and by the whole scene that she came suddenly and almost without warning, crying out her pleasure in Lynne’s mouth. Lynne held her in place as her body convulsed, breaking the kiss to watch her as she shuddered against the wall.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” Lynne whispered, continuing her strokes until Janeway began to roll her head from side to side.

“Stop,” she gasped. “No more.”

Lynne slowed, but didn’t stop entirely. “Are you sure?” Her thumb gently caressed oversensitive nerves, causing Janeway to jump.

“I’m sure. Please.” Janeway could hardly catch her breath.

Lynne instantly released her wrists and held Janeway by the waist, supporting her until she could stand on her own.

“Okay?” asked Lynne, looking into her eyes.

“Okay.”

Lynne stepped away and turned toward the bed. “Shall we—”

She got no further before Janeway launched herself off the wall, tackling Lynne around the waist and taking her to the deck. They crashed to the floor in a tangle of limbs, and Janeway took immediate advantage of Lynne’s surprise by straddling her back, grabbing her left arm and twisting it up behind her. She stopped just short of hurting her.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Lynne looked over her shoulder.

“Finishing what I started at lunch,” said Janeway. “You think I appreciated seeing three different women touching you sexually? They don’t have the right, Lynne. But you let them.”

“I let them? So this is my fault?”

“Damn straight it is. And before I’m done you’re going to tell me what I want to hear.”

“And what is that?”

They both knew that Janeway couldn’t hold Lynne by physical strength alone. But for the captain, there was no greater thrill than dominating Lynne through her words and strength of will. She reached out and ran a finger down the side of Lynne’s face. “That you belong to nobody but me.” She leaned over, allowing the weight of her torso to put additional pressure on Lynne’s arm, and took an earlobe between her teeth. Slowly she bit down, just a little too hard, then sucked the earlobe and released it. Speaking in a husky whisper right into Lynne’s ear, she said, “Not Revi, not Seven, not B’Elanna—and not the Queen. Those implants are mine to play with and nobody else’s.”

Abruptly she released her hold and stood up, taking a moment to fasten her pants and pull her bra and shirt down. Lynne immediately rolled over and sat up, glaring at her. “I don’t belong to anybody.”

“That’s not what you told me before.” Janeway gave her a slight smile as she sat on the edge of the bed. “Get undressed, Lynne. Now.”

Lynne rested back on her hands, the picture of indifferent grace. “And if I don’t?”

“If you don’t I’ll be touching that shoulder implant every time I see you on duty. Every time you’re in the mess hall I’ll be there, with my hand on your shoulder. I’ll call you up on the bridge and do it there. And nobody but you and me will know. It will look perfectly innocent, but we’ll both know what I’m doing. Did you like walking around in a perpetual state of arousal this afternoon? Because I can make it a permanent condition.”

Lynne stared up at her. “God, I think you’d actually do it.”

Janeway kept her command mask in place. “I don’t make empty threats. And I hate to repeat orders. Get undressed.”

Slowly Lynne stood up, in a single fluid movement that sent Janeway’s already overheated nerves tingling. She held her breath as their eyes locked for long seconds, neither giving way. Finally, without breaking their gaze, Lynne unzipped her jacket and let it drop off her arms.

Janeway waited, but when nothing else happened she understood the game. “Keep going,” she said, a crisp command tone to her voice.

Lynne paused, then slowly pulled her shirt over her head and dropped it, standing erect in boots, pants and a bra. Janeway took a moment to appreciate the view. “Very nice,” she said, rising off the bed. “I particularly like the fact that there’s another little toy for me to play with here.” She caressed Lynne’s chest implant, enjoying the shiver that ran through the tall body.

Janeway planned to make the most of this evening, but there was an agenda underlying her actions. She would build on what Revi had started at lunch, giving Lynne a whole new definition of ownership when it came to her implants. Here was an opportunity to negate the Queen’s effect, and she was not about to let it go to waste.

She ran her fingers over Lynne’s collarbones, shoulders, and arms, then stepped in and placed a gentle kiss on the chest implant. Moving back again, she began slowly caressing Lynne’s breasts through the fabric of the bra, then hit her comm badge.

“Janeway to engineering.” She looked into Lynne’s eyes, never stopping her hand motions.

“Yes, Captain.”

“Belay my last order. I’ve found the problem.” She pinched both nipples and watched Lynne tighten her jaw. “I’m taking care of it right now. Janeway out.”

With a last look into darkening green eyes, Janeway strolled around Lynne to enjoy the view from behind. Then she took a step backward and said, “Take off your boots and socks.”

Still facing forward, Lynne stood first on one leg, then the other as she removed her boots and socks and tossed them to one side. As soon as she straightened, Janeway stepped forward again and blew a soft breath over the shoulder implant, which was now in easier reach. Lynne shivered.

“I love it when you’re barefoot and I’m in boots,” Janeway murmured. “It cuts you down to size.”

“You mean it gives you the illusion of power,” said Lynne without turning her head.

Janeway didn’t bite. “Oh, I think we both know my power over you is no illusion.” She took the band off the end of Lynne’s braid and slowly pulled her fingers through the thick hair, releasing it into a curtain of brown and silver. Then she gently pushed the hair over Lynne’s shoulder, exposing her neck and planting a light kiss there.

Now she clasped her hands behind her back, determined that Lynne would feel nothing but her lips and her breath for some time to come. Ever so lightly, she touched her lips to the top of Lynne’s spine, then pulled back mere millimeters. Deliberately she breathed on the skin just below the area she’d kissed, then dropped a tiny, whisper-gentle kiss there. Lynne’s spine, like her own, was extremely sensitive to a light touch, and before she’d gotten halfway down Lynne’s entire torso was jerking involuntarily at each kiss. Now that she’d ramped up her wife’s expectations, she began playing the game of placing several kisses in a slow rhythm, then pausing before the next one, watching in delight as the muscles of Lynne’s back jumped and twitched without any stimulation at all—the mere anticipation of the next touch was causing havoc.

She worked her way to Lynne’s waistband and then slowly, tortuously made her way back up again. By the time she reached the area between the shoulder blades, Lynne had given up any semblance of stoicism.

“God, Kathryn, you’re driving me nuts! Stop!”

“No,” breathed Janeway as she continued the torture. “And don’t you dare move.”

Lynne threw her head back and let out a cry of frustration, but she stayed where she was. Janeway eventually reached the top of her spine, made a brief side trip to the shoulder implant, then revisited the areas of Lynne’s spine that she knew were the most sensitive. By now Lynne was unable to keep quiet, her small cries accompanying the twitches of her back. When Janeway straightened up and gently unfastened Lynne’s bra, the mere brush of her fingers against supersensitized skin nearly sent Lynne airborne.

“You’re a little jumpy,” murmured Janeway. She let her hands slide lightly around Lynne’s body and cupped a breast in each one, loving the fact that she could simply stand there, doing nothing at all—and Lynne was strung tight as a plasma coil, waiting for her next move.

“You would be too if I did that to you,” Lynne said in an unsteady voice.

“You have,” Janeway reminded her. “Which is why I’m enjoying this so much now.”

She withdrew her hands and pushed the bra straps off Lynne’s shoulders, removing the offending item of clothing and tossing it behind her. Instantly her hands returned to their former position, and she began lightly drawing her fingers from the outside of the breasts inward, ending with a tug on the nipples, which were rock hard. “So sensitive,” she whispered. “I love that about you.”

Lynne’s answer was non-verbal; she leaned back into Janeway’s body and sighed, lulled by the gentle attention being paid to her breasts. But as much as Janeway appreciated the full-body contact, it wasn’t what she wanted right now. With a less-than-gentle pull on Lynne’s nipples, she said, “Stand up straight.” Her grip didn’t loosen until Lynne complied, at which point Janeway let go and stepped back again. “Take off your pants.”

Lynne unfastened her pants and pushed them off her hips, giving Janeway an excellent view as she bent over to finish the job. Soon the pants were lying with the boots and Lynne stood before her in nothing but her underwear. Janeway immediately stepped up behind her and resumed her soft stroking of Lynne’s breasts. “Good,” she murmured. “I like it when you don’t fight me. Of course, I like it when you do fight me, too, because then I get to play a little harder.” She pinched the nipples almost to the point of pain, eliciting a groan, then resumed her soft touches. “Hmm. You seem to like it when I play hard, too. Am I right?”

When Lynne didn’t answer, she pinched the nipples again, this time pulling them outward as well. “I didn’t hear you.”

“AaaaAH!” Lynne gasped. “I just…like it when you touch me.”

“Oh, I see.” She returned to her gentle caresses. “Just me, then? Because you seemed to like it when Revi, Seven and B’Elanna did it, too.” She pinched again.

Lynne’s breath was coming faster. “I didn’t! You saw me stop B’Elanna.”

“True,” Janeway conceded, rewarding the answer with a soft caress of her breasts and a light kiss to the shoulder implant. “But then, I also noticed that you didn’t stop Seven until after the second time she touched you. And by your own admission, Revi touched you more than once, too. Is there something I should know?” She fastened her mouth on the shoulder implant and began sucking while simultaneously pinching and rolling Lynne’s nipples.

“No! You’re…you’re not serious, are you?” Lynne’s voice held just a touch of doubt, and Janeway smiled to herself as she continued the suction.

“Kathryn?”

Janeway raised her head. “Hmm?” She removed one hand from a breast and trailed it down Lynne’s abdomen to the band of her panties, playing with the elastic and letting her fingers barely touch the fabric as she moved over some very sensitive areas.

Lynne squirmed at the caress but still managed to ask, “Are you serious?” Clearly she was having some trouble talking, but just as obviously, the question was bothering her.

“Spread your legs,” Janeway whispered into her ear, and was delighted when Lynne complied instantly. She rewarded the obedience by sliding her hand inside the waistband and grazing through the curls. Lynne made a sound deep in her throat, and Janeway pinched her nipple again.

“I think,” she said, keeping a firm hold on the nipple and letting her fingers wander below, “that you have some trouble understanding who owns your external implants.” She slowly pushed a finger inside Lynne, unsurprised at the copious moisture that made it so easy. Holding that hand perfectly still while tightening her grip on the nipple, she added, “You don’t say it anymore, but I know you still think they belong to the Queen. So you weren’t as defensive of people touching them as you would be of someone touching, say, your nipples.” She illustrated by pinching the nipple even harder and pulling outward, knowing that she was pushing the threshold of pain. Lynne’s head dropped back and she moaned. Abruptly Janeway released her and stepped back once again, enjoying Lynne’s frustrated grumble.

“Tell me, Lynne, would you have let Revi touch your nipples even once?”

Lynne moved, but Janeway stopped her with a sharp command. “Don’t turn around. Just answer me.”

Lynne squared her shoulders and held her head high. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. Don’t give me that.”

A pause, then: “No. Not unless she surprised me.”

Janeway stepped up, allowing full body contact as she resumed her soft caresses of Lynne’s breasts. “And yet,” she said quietly, “we both know that your shoulder implant can be as sensitive as your nipples. So why would you let her touch that but not these?”

She continued her motions, waiting for an answer.

“I…I don’t know. It’s different.”

“It’s different only because you think of it as different.” Janeway dropped a kiss on the side of Lynne’s throat, then said, “I want you to take off your underwear and lie face down on the bed.” She brought her hands back and gently pushed Lynne away from her.

Lynne took a step and then turned. To Janeway’s eyes, she presented an irresistible picture of an aroused woman—her chest was flushed, her nipples hard and reddened, and her lips were swollen. But those lips were currently turned down in a frown. “I can’t believe you’re bringing the Queen into our bed,” she said.

Janeway closed the distance between them, brushing her fingertips across the chest implant, then slipping her hand behind Lynne’s neck and bringing her head down for a gentle kiss. “I’m not bringing her in,” she said softly. “She’s been here all this time. Because you think she is.” She stepped back again. “Lie down, Lynne.”

Lynne stared at her, obviously uncomfortable. Janeway met her eyes calmly, willing her to give in.

At last Lynne turned and padded to the bed. Janeway watched in appreciation as she pulled off her underwear and stretched her long, lean body on the bed. She folded her arms under her head and rested her cheek on them, fixing Janeway with a clear gaze.

Accepting the invitation, Janeway slowly undressed under her wife’s watchful eye, adding her clothes to the pile on the floor. She stood up straight, allowing Lynne to study her for a few moments, and then took back the lead.

“Keep your head turned this way,” she said. Lynne simply looked at her, and Janeway gave her a smile before walking around the end of the bed to the other side, where they kept what Lynne called their “fun box.” With a quick check to make sure Lynne wasn’t looking, she pulled out the Risan joystick, programmed it to what she had in mind, and set it and the control on top of the nightstand. A moment later it was joined by a bottle of oil and a jar of lubricant. Satisfied with her choices, Janeway knelt on the bed and lightly ran her hands across Lynne’s back, down her buttocks and up again.

“Anyone ever tell you that you’ve got a lovely ass?” she asked.

Lynne snickered. “That’s another one of those words that sounds odd coming out of your mouth,” she said. “I’m fairly sure Starfleet captains aren’t supposed to say ‘ass.’”

“If they were looking at yours, they most certainly would. There’s no other word for it,” said Janeway, caressing the body part in question. She knew she’d pushed Lynne past her comfort zone with her earlier words about the implants, and was now determined to get her relaxed again before going in for the second round.

She reached for the bottle of oil and activated it, waiting the few seconds it took for the oil to heat through.

“Brace yourself,” she said, then drizzled the oil in a thin stream all the way down Lynne’s spine.

“Oh, Jesus,” said Lynne, her shoulders coming up as her back curved inward. “That’s freakin’ hot.”

“Mm hm.” Janeway put the bottle down and began spreading the oil with both hands. God, she loved the feel of Lynne’s back. So smooth, but with such power coiled beneath it. Lynne settled down, purring with contentment as she relaxed under the massage.

The next dose of hot oil didn’t cause quite the same reaction, though a hissed intake of breath let Janeway know Lynne felt it. She smiled as she massaged the oil into Lynne’s buttocks, spending long minutes on this particular area and occasionally pulling the cheeks apart enough to blow air onto sensitive skin. Lynne squirmed, making small sounds of protestation as her relaxation was disrupted.

Now Janeway focused her efforts on Lynne’s legs, drizzling the oil down the length of one leg and rubbing it in thoroughly before changing to the other. Given the length of those legs, it took some time to work everything in from top to bottom. Then she reversed direction, working back up again with a definite goal in mind. As she neared the tops of Lynne’s thighs she deliberately allowed her fingertips to brush the labia, and smiled as Lynne instantly spread her legs to allow better access.

Now the seduction began in earnest. Without appearing to be concentrating on any area in particular, Janeway managed to brush her fingers over Lynne’s center, along the sides of her breasts, over the shoulder implant and the backs of her knees—every sensitive area that she knew would enhance Lynne’s arousal. She took her time, letting the sensations build and listening to both Lynne’s body and her involuntary vocalizations. Soon the amount of moisture between Lynne’s legs told her that it was time for the next step. Keeping one hand moving on Lynne’s back, she picked up the Risan joystick with the other and attached it to herself. Then, in one swift movement, she covered Lynne’s body with her own and guided the shaft in place. By now Lynne was so relaxed that she barely moved as Janeway slowly, gently slid the phallus all the way inside.

“Oh, god, that feels good,” Lynne whispered.

“Yes, it does.” Janeway barely kept herself from groaning her own approval; after the long seduction she’d managed to turn herself on nearly as much as Lynne. She reached for the joystick remote and quickly reduced the sensitivity; tonight was not the night to lose control.

“Can I turn my head now? I’m getting a crick in my neck.”

“Go ahead,” said Janeway, remaining perfectly still.

Lynne flipped her hair over her back and rested her other cheek on her hands. “You feel wonderful,” she said. “This wasn’t what I expected after the way you started.”

“What do you mean?” Janeway began a very slow movement of her hips.

“Well…” Lynne paused, distracted by the phallus moving inside her.

“Go on,” said Janeway, smiling as Lynne’s eyes fluttered closed.

“You’re being…so gentle,” Lynne whispered.

“Why would that surprise you?” Janeway began brushing featherlight kisses over Lynne’s back as she kept up her slow thrusting. She’d programmed the joystick to be long enough for full penetration from this position, and knew that Lynne was feeling every centimeter of the ridged length.

“Because you started out so aggressively.” Lynne sighed as Janeway pushed back in.

“No, sweetheart—you started out aggressively.” Janeway said nothing more as she continued her slow, deep movements, pulling almost all the way out before burying herself again. After a while, Lynne’s murmured vocalizations let her know that she was lulling her partner into a very relaxed state, so she began altering her rhythm by blending short, fast strokes with the slower, deeper ones. Lynne’s eyes came open again, and Janeway smiled to herself as she pulled all the way out.

“No,” protested Lynne.

“Shh. I’m just making a slight change.” Janeway picked up the control and set the phallus to a considerably thicker dimension, then scooped out a fingerful of lube and liberally coated it. Next she pulled the pillows from under the quilt, stacking them on top of each other and positioning them next to Lynne’s hips. “Lift up, sweetheart.” She pushed the pillows into place, nodding in satisfaction when Lynne’s pelvis remained tilted up at the perfect angle.

“Hold on.” She positioned herself between Lynne’s legs, rested the tip of the joystick against her opening and began a slow push.

“Oh, Jesus.” Lynne’s head came up and she reached out for the headboard, holding on with a tight grip. “Kathryn…”

“Relax. You can take it.” The dimensions were actually a bit larger than Janeway had ever tried before, but she was certain that Lynne’s muscles were stretched enough to handle it. She pushed in, pulled back a bit, then pushed in further. Lynne tilted her hips to meet her, automatically opening herself up, and soon the phallus was all the way in. Janeway paused, settling herself over Lynne’s back and letting her get used to the fullness.

Lynne was twitching beneath her, her hips rocking of their own volition. “Oh, my god. I think you just won the award for the biggest cock of my life.”

Janeway propped herself on her forearms and slowly moved the phallus in and out. “Shh. Just feel.” She began kissing Lynne’s back and neck, each kiss exerting a little more pressure than the last, as she gradually ramped up the power of her thrusts. After several minutes of this, the thrusts had become quite powerful, the kisses had become bites, and Lynne was writhing and crying out. Janeway took a break from marking the skin of her back to suck on her shoulder implant, and she didn’t let go for nearly a minute. By that time Lynne was pleading with her to stop, gasping that it was too much.

“What’s too much?” asked Janeway, not pausing in her thrusts.

“The implant! Christ!”

“Whose implant?”

“What?”

“Whose implant is that, Lynne?” Janeway snapped her hips forward and slowly moved from side to side.

“God!” Lynne couldn’t answer.

Janeway leaned over, putting her mouth close to her ear. “Is it the Queen’s?”

“Kathryn!” Her voice was nearly a sob.

Abruptly Janeway pulled all the way out, sitting back on her heels. Lynne’s entire body slumped, and she was breathing as if she’d run a marathon. Janeway quickly punched a new code into the control, watching as the joystick acquired a form that they’d never used before:  a double-pronged phallus, designed for simultaneous anal and vaginal entry. The lower phallus was now a more comfortable size; Janeway knew Lynne couldn’t handle the former size plus an additional probe. She lubricated the new section, then took another generous fingerful of lube and spread it over Lynne’s anus.

Lynne whipped her head around. “No way. I can’t take that there. It’s too big.”

“Shh. Trust me.”

“Kathryn…”

“Do you trust me?”

After a pause, Lynne dropped her head back down. “Yes.” But her voice trembled.

It took a little careful maneuvering, but Janeway got both parts of the joystick properly positioned. She held the top one in place and slowly, carefully pushed in. Lynne’s body was tense, and she reached out for the headboard rail again. Janeway settled down, continuing her slow entry, until both parts of the joystick were fully buried.

“How does it feel?” she asked.

Lynne groaned. “Oh, god. It’s so close to being too much.”

“Is it okay?”

“Yeah. It’s okay. But I feel like I’m going to explode off this bed.”

“Good.” Janeway began to move, slowly at first, letting her partner get used to the new sensations. Then she resumed her kisses and bites to Lynne’s neck and back, gradually increasing the speed of her thrusts. As the lube spread and Lynne’s internal muscles relaxed, she cranked up the heat, thrusting deeply and hard. Lynne was now meeting her thrusts, crying out with each one. Her grip on the headboard was white-knuckled.

Janeway slowed down. “Let go with your left hand.”

“What?” Lynne was dazed.

“Bring your left hand down.”

Lynne brought her left hand by her head, and Janeway covered it with her own, interlacing their fingers. She sped up her thrusts again and lowered her mouth to the shoulder implant.

“Oh, god!” Lynne began to shake.

After applying fierce suction for half a minute, Janeway let go and said, “Look at our hands, Lynne.”

Lynne turned her head, eyeing their clasped hands.

“Whose ring are you wearing?”

“Yours,” Lynne gasped.

“Whose implants are you wearing?”

When she got no answer, Janeway let go of her hand and put two fingers to Lynne’s lips, gently sliding them into her mouth. Instinctively Lynne closed her lips around them and began sucking. Janeway slowed her thrusts once again and matched them with her fingers, carefully sliding them in and out. She watched Lynne close her eyes and fought off the molten rush of lust that coursed through her body. God, this was incredible. She allowed herself a few minutes to simply enjoy some of the hottest sex she’d ever had, then put her mouth next to Lynne’s ear and began whispering to her.

“I am in you, on you and around you. I’m everywhere, Lynne. You’re wearing my ring and you’ve got me inside you in every possible way. Who do you belong to?”

Lynne made an incoherent sound, unable to talk around her fingers.

“Who do you belong to?” Janeway repeated fiercely. She withdrew her fingers, propped herself up for leverage and drove in hard. “Answer me.” She continued her forceful thrusts.

“You,” Lynne moaned, sounding close to tears. “I belong to you, oh, god…”

“Yes, you do. Your implants are mine, too. Not Revi’s. Not Seven’s. Not B’Elanna’s, and certainly not the Queen’s. And you’ve never claimed them for yourself.” Janeway was so close to coming that she was having a difficult time keeping her voice steady. She willed herself to hold back. She’d set the sensitivity low enough that she hadn’t thought it would be a problem, but the scene she’d set and Lynne’s response was driving her mad.

“You don’t want them, Lynne, but I do. So I’m claiming them. They’re mine, just like you are. Who do they belong to, Lynne?”

Lynne’s breath was coming in short sobs. “Kathryn...”

Janeway let go of all restraint, her pelvis slapping against Lynne’s ass as she drove in hard and fast. “Who do they belong to?” she demanded.

Lynne said nothing, and Janeway kept up the pounding, determined that Lynne would cave before she would. “Answer me!” It was her command voice. “Who…do…they…belong…to?” Every word was accompanied by a powerful thrust.

“You.” Lynne could barely be heard.

“Say it again.”

“You…”

“Again.”

“You!” It was a desperate cry. “You can have them, they’re yours, oh god, Kathryn, please…” Lynne arched up and let out a cry that nearly shattered Janeway’s eardrums, her body convulsing in a powerful orgasm. Janeway felt the telltale flutters of the vaginal muscles, but she could hardly believe it. Lynne had never had a vaginal orgasm before—she’d said she couldn’t. The shock of it sent her over the edge as well, and her voice joined Lynne’s as she threw her head back, burying herself one last time and making small, involuntary thrusts as her orgasm shook her from head to toe. Finally she slumped onto Lynne’s body, both of them gasping for air. But as she gradually came back to the surface, she realized that Lynne’s gasps were actually sobs. Horrified, she propped herself up. Lynne’s eyes were tightly shut, but tears were leaking out.

“Lynne…” She was near tears herself, partly from empathy and partly from the wringer she’d put them both through. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Just hold me,” sobbed Lynne.

Janeway slid her hands under Lynne’s torso and held her tightly. “Please tell me I didn’t hurt you,” she whispered.

Lynne didn’t answer, and Janeway instantly went from post-coital haze to panic. “Lynne, talk to me. Please!” The last word was almost a sob, and it got Lynne’s attention.

“No,” she gasped. “It’s not you. I don’t know what it is.” Her sobs grew in intensity, and Janeway was afraid that she was heading toward a total meltdown. A meltdown, she suddenly realized, that Lynne had never allowed herself since her assimilation.

“Oh, god,” she muttered. Then, gently:  “I’m pulling out now. I’m not going anywhere, okay? I’ll be right here.”

“Okay,” Lynne managed.

Janeway reached for the control, hit the reset button, and carefully extracted the joystick. Swiftly she removed it and tossed it in the box, then grasped Lynne by the shoulders. “Roll over, sweetheart.”

Lynne complied, still crying. Janeway grabbed the pillows and tossed them up to the headboard, then leaned against them and pulled Lynne to her. “Come here. You’re okay.”

Lynne curled in, resting her head on Janeway’s chest, her body shaking with her sobs. “I’m s..sorry. I d..don’t know what’s wrong.”

Janeway wrapped her up in her arms and squeezed. “I do,” she said gently. “You’ve finally let go. It’s okay, Lynne, I’ll hold you for as long as you need me to.”

That brought a fresh round of sobs, and Lynne burrowed into Janeway as if she were trying to crawl inside. Janeway held on tightly, blinking back her own tears. God, this broke her heart, but it was something Lynne had needed for nearly two and a half months. She’d cried before, but always just a few tears at a time; nothing like this.

Janeway held Lynne as closely as she could, offering silent support until the sobs slowed and finally dwindled to a heavy sigh. Lynne stayed put, not moving for several minutes. Then she tilted her head back, meeting Janeway’s eyes. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Janeway let go with one hand and gently wiped away her tears. “You’re welcome. I’ll always be here for you, Lynne.”

“I know.” A pause. “That was incredible. I’m sorry I ruined it.”

“You didn’t ruin anything. I’m glad this finally happened. You’ve needed this.”

“I guess so,” Lynne said doubtfully. Then she smiled. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so turned on in my entire life.”

“You and me both. You wouldn’t believe how hard it was for me to hold back. You were incredibly sexy.”

“Me! Jesus, you should sell instructional manuals. I’m not sure I can ever top that one.”

“Don’t even try,” joked Janeway, and to her relief Lynne laughed.

“God, you’re arrogant,” she said. Then she sobered. “I love you, Kathryn.”

Janeway squeezed her again. “I love you, too.”

“So, what are you going to do with them now?”

“With what?”

“Your implants. The ones you made me sign over to you.”

“Oh, those.” Janeway smiled. “I’d like to put them on display, frankly. I think they’re amazingly sexy, especially given what they do to you when they’re touched the way they should be touched.”

“Well, you definitely know how they should be touched. I thought I’d go through the ceiling when you wouldn’t stop sucking on that shoulder implant. Jesus.”

It was time to push the envelope a little.

“Lynne, would you do something for me?”

“Sure.”

“Next time we have a party, will you wear your short black dress?”

Lynne’s face closed down. “Could you ask me something else?”

Janeway squeezed her. “No. Listen to me, sweetheart. All this time you’ve thought of those implants as the Queen’s brand on you, but it’s not true. They’re a mark of our love.”

Disbelief was written across Lynne’s face. “How did you arrive at that conclusion?”

“Because you would never have gotten them if it hadn’t been for my love for you. The Queen wouldn’t have taken you if she hadn’t known what you meant to me. Those aren’t her marks, Lynne. They’re mine. And you just gave them to me—shouted it quite loudly, actually—so they’re mine twice over. Every time you look at them now, think of me. Not her, me. Because every time I look at them, I get a feeling of pride. You wear those as a badge of honor; a visible display of who you are, what you’ve survived and what you mean to me. I want you to show them off.”

Judging by her expression, Lynne was surprised, doubtful—and a little intrigued. Janeway pressed on. Drawing her fingers lightly across the shoulder implant, she said in a low, husky voice, “I want to look across a room and see you proudly displaying these implants. My implants. Just like this ring you wear. This ring is an advertisement, Lynne, and I want the implants to be the same way. They’d say that you know who you belong to and that you want everyone else to know it, too. That no matter who you’re talking to, or where you are in the room, you’re tied to me. And when you lift your head and meet my eyes across the room, you’ll know that I’m thinking about how sexy you look, how much I’d love to touch those implants and make you shudder—and how much I love you.”

She fell silent, continuing her gentle stroking of the shoulder implant and letting Lynne think about her words.

“Wow,” said Lynne at last. “I can safely say that I’ve never thought of them that way before. But…I kind of like it.” She smiled up at Janeway. “I can see you really believe what you’re saying, and that makes a difference.”

“I wouldn’t say it just to make you feel better.” Janeway raised her eyebrows. “You’d see through me too quickly.”

“True,” Lynne agreed. She held her left hand up between them, and Janeway reached over to intertwine their fingers. Lynne gazed soberly at their rings.

“You’re right,” she said at last. “We choose to wear these rings because of what they symbolize. So maybe I can choose what my implants symbolize to me. You’ve always said you think they’re sexy, and I’ve actually come to believe that, but I never thought that would translate to anything outside of our bedroom.” She met Janeway’s gaze. “Do you know what I mean?”

“I think so. You thought I was looking at you through the eyes of love, blinding myself to them and focusing just on how they could be used during sex.” Which was exactly what she’d done, in the beginning.

“Yeah.” Lynne exhaled. “I thought you loved me enough to look past them. But you’re not, are you? You’re looking right at them.”

Janeway beamed at her in delight. Lynne had just distilled an entire evening’s worth of persuasion into a few sentences. “That’s it exactly! I’m looking right at them. I’m looking at you.” She squeezed Lynne so tightly that her wife squeaked. “And I love what I see.”

Lynne laughed. “I’m getting that idea.” She pushed herself up enough to bring their faces close together. “Okay, Kathryn. You’ve convinced me. I’ll wear the black dress.”

“Yes!” Janeway shouted, making Lynne laugh again.

“God, anyone would think you were excited.”

Janeway grabbed Lynne around the middle and rolled them over so that she ended up on top. “I am,” she said, grinning down into sparkling green eyes. “I’m thrilled. I can’t wait to show you off.” She schooled her features into a stern frown. “But you’d better tell Revi and Seven to keep their damned hands off you, or I may forget my rank.”

Lynne’s eyes danced. “Oh, I don’t know. I kind of like having all the hottest women on Voyager reaching for me. Especially if it makes you jealous.”

Janeway growled deep in her throat, and Lynne’s smile widened. “Kathryn, you have nothing to worry about. There’s only one person for me.” Her gaze grew a bit distant. “You know, if any of my ex-lovers could have seen us just now, they’d probably have had coronary fits.”

“Why?”

“Because I would never, ever have allowed anyone to even begin to lay claim to me the way you did. I would have decked them if they’d tried.”

For a moment Janeway felt a flash of fear—she had gone a bit over the edge. But Lynne just lay passively beneath her, watching her with a look of contentment.

“Don’t worry,” she said, reading Janeway’s expression. “I would never have thought it could happen, but when you put your fingers in my mouth and started talking to me, I thought I’d die of arousal. I didn’t think it was possible to be that turned on and still have a heartbeat. And I would never have allowed it if it weren’t true, Kathryn. I do belong to you.”

Janeway closed her eyes briefly, relief warring with a rather unbecoming cocky pride. “Well,” she said, “it works both ways. I belong to you, too.”

“Oh, I know that.” Lynne’s smile turned predatory. “And someday soon, I’m going to prove it.”

Janeway swallowed hard. She had no doubt that Lynne would do exactly as she said.

“So,” she said, changing the subject, “I thought you said you couldn’t have a vaginal orgasm.”

“Yeah, well, that was before my wife took me to a whole new dimension. There was a whole lot going on there, Kathryn. It wasn’t just vaginal.” Lynne paused. “But it was a surprise to me, too. Actually, it was fucking spectacular.”

Janeway tried not to preen, but Lynne grinned at her.

“Oh, don’t even attempt it. You know you’re disgustingly proud of yourself.” She pushed at Janeway’s shoulders. “Come on, let’s get cleaned up. I’ve got so much lube on me that I’m probably just going to slide into the bathroom.”

Janeway laughed as she swung a leg over to hop off the bed. She took a minute to put their supplies back inside the nightstand, and when she straightened Lynne was sitting upright, running her hand over the headboard rail.

“Wow,” Lynne said, looking over. “I, uh, think I caused some damage.”

Janeway moved closer to examine the rail. Like most of the furniture on board, it was made of a light alloy meant to be nearly indestructible, starships not being known as good places for anything delicate. She knew from experience that it took a hell of a lot of force to bend the alloy. But Lynne had. The rail was warped, a distinct shallow U shape showing where her prosthetic hand had compressed it.

She turned to Lynne in some surprise. “That took some doing.”

Lynne looked sheepish. “I’m sorry. I’ve never lost control like that before. I’ll get it replaced.”

“You most certainly will not.” Janeway looked at the dent and felt the cocky pride come surging back. “That’s my notch in the bedpost.”

“Oh, for god’s sake.” Lynne rolled her eyes. “You’re going to be insufferable about this, aren’t you?”

Janeway put a knee on the bed, leaned forward and kissed her passionately. Drawing back, she said, “You’d better believe it.”

 

 

 

 

---

earth interlude

 

 

Alison Necheyev knew her aunt was approaching long before she actually saw her. The waiters in the restaurant all stiffened as if they were Academy cadets, and heads turned at several tables as well. Admiral Necheyev commanded attention by her bearing alone, and the uniform certainly didn’t hurt.

Soon the distinctive blond head appeared through the crowd, and Alison stood in respect as her aunt arrived at the table.

“Hello, Alison,” she said, pulling out a chair.

“Hi, Aunt Alynna.” Alison sat again. “The Earthrise is on special today, want one?” She picked up her blue and white drink.

“You’re not seriously suggesting I drink on duty, are you?” But the Admiral’s eyes were warm, and Alison knew she wasn’t in trouble. One benefit to their mutual concern over the situation with Voyager was that her relationship with her aunt had changed for the better. She wondered if the Admiral had always been this kind under her stern exterior, or if she’d just mellowed with age.

“I wouldn’t if you were on duty,” she said. “But I happen to know that your shift is over.”

The Admiral took a drink of water and replaced the glass on the table. “I’m career Starfleet, Alison. My shift is never over.”

“Well, Starfleet can hardly expect you to never drink,” Alison pointed out reasonably. She held up her glass. “It’s really good. Want a sip?”

Admiral Necheyev eyed the pastel concoction. “I think not.” She looked up, and a waiter materialized magically at the table.

“Can I get you something, Admiral?”

“Yes,” she said crisply. “Stolichnaya in a chilled glass, and make it a double. No ice.” She glared at the waiter, making it clear that vodka over ice was a sin against nature.

“Of course,” sniffed the waiter.

Alison raised her eyebrows. Stolichnaya was the oldest vodka distillery on the planet, and its products were both galaxy-class and extremely expensive. That single drink was going to cost more than both of their dinners put together.

“Bad day at the office?” she asked carefully.

The Admiral looked at her for a few seconds before answering.

“Captain Janeway is building the slipstream drive.”

“What?” Alison was shocked. “But…how can she? You said she got your message.”

“She did.”

Alison sat back in her chair. “Then why?”

“Because she has no choice, Alison. They haven’t found anything. And neither have we. And in the process of putting her entire engineering team on the project, they’ve actually completed a blueprint, which is more than Starfleet has managed to do.” She shook her head. “So she has a full blueprint on one hand, and a few vague suspicions that I can’t even clearly communicate to her on the other. And no other theory is nearly as well developed as this one. She has no choice,” she repeated. “Starfleet has endorsed her decision.”

Alison felt betrayed. “Have you?” she asked sharply.

“You know better than that,” Admiral Necheyev snapped. She looked up as the waiter returned. “Thank you.” Her eyes closed in appreciation as she sipped from her glass. “Oh, I’ve needed this. Governments rise and fall, stars go nova, but Russia still makes the best vodka.”

Normally Alison would have enjoyed watching her aunt rhapsodize over her drink, but not now. “Aunt Alynna, we’ve got to stop her. This is suicide.”

The Admiral’s eyes opened, fixing Alison with an intense brown gaze. “And how do you propose we do that?”

“I don’t know! Shit!” Alison eyed her drink, which suddenly looked too fruity and entirely unappealing. She raised her hand to call over the waiter. “I’m done with this,” she said, handing him her drink. “Get me a Stoly, please. And make it a double.”

The Admiral gave her a small smile. “So you do have hair on your chest.”

“Yes, and right now it’s all standing on end.”

The smile grew briefly, then vanished. “Alison, there’s nothing we can do at the moment except what we’ve been doing. If Barclay finds the mousetrap, I can take steps. If not…perhaps there was never one there to begin with.”

Alison stifled her urge to hit the table. This was all so damned nebulous! “He’s been over it and through it and around it so many times he’s dizzy,” she said in exasperation. “He can’t point to anything in particular, and I don’t think that’s going to change any time soon, not with the other duties he’s got on his desk. But he’s got a feeling about it, and I trust his intuition. You know Barclay’s up there with La Forge and Brahms when it comes to sheer engineering genius. If he feels something is there, then we need to take that seriously.”

“I know,” said the Admiral. “And I have, which is why I warned Janeway. But unless you’re prepared to bring all of this out into the open, there’s only so much I can do based on a lieutenant’s intuition. I have to let Janeway build the drive, Alison. There’s always the possibility that they’ll find the mousetrap during construction. Things look different when they take physical form versus theory.”

“True,” conceded Alison. She saw the waiter approaching with her drink. “Thank you,” she said when he handed it over. She took a sip and closed her eyes. “Ahh. I haven’t had Stoly in at least a year.”

“Alison, do the distillery the courtesy of actually pronouncing the name. It’s been around long enough to have earned it.”

Alison looked at her aunt in surprise. “What’s wrong with Stoly?”

“It’s used by people too lazy to learn the correct pronunciation, and no niece of mine will be included in those ranks.”

“Okay, okay.” Sometimes the Admiral got her tunic in a twist over the smallest things. “I haven’t had Stolichnaya in years. Is that better?” Suddenly she felt about eight years old, and the look her aunt was giving her did nothing to counter the sensation.

“It’s not a matter of being better, it’s a matter of being correct.” The Admiral took another drink and sighed. “I’m as worried as you are, Alison. But we also have to consider the possibility that there really is no plot and Voyager is perfectly safe.”

Alison shook her head. “I don’t believe that and neither do you.”

“Then we have to believe that Janeway will find the mousetrap. She’s smart and she’s surrounded herself with smart people. If they completed a blueprint ahead of Starfleet, which has at least eight times the number of people working on it, then they’re likely to be good enough to find the mousetrap as well. When that happens, we’ll deal with it. In the meantime, we need to continue as if we suspect nothing. The best way to flush out a saboteur is to pretend ignorance. Never put them on their guard.”

Alison took another sip of her drink and forced herself to step back emotionally; to let her intellect examine the problem. It took just a few moments to agree with her aunt. For the moment they could do nothing but trust Captain Janeway.

“You’re right,” she conceded calmly. She gave her aunt a wistful smile. “I’ve spent so much time worrying about Captain Janeway and Ms. Hamilton that I feel as if I know them. I’d just like to have the chance to meet them face to face, Aunt Alynna. And maybe to bring them here and buy them each a shot of Stolichnaya to celebrate their safe homecoming.”

The Admiral nodded in understanding. “I don’t know Ms. Hamilton’s drink preference, but the Stolichnaya would be wasted on Kathryn Janeway. You’d be better off buying her a shot of Glenfiddich.”

Alison hated Scotch whiskey, as did any self-respecting member of the Necheyev clan. She smiled at her aunt. “Despite her questionable taste, nothing would give me greater pleasure.” She held her glass up. “To Voyager’s safe return, and the opportunity to ply Captain Janeway with substandard alcohol.”

“Hear, hear,” agreed the Admiral. The clink of glasses drew a few glances from restaurant patrons.

“They probably think we just agreed to start a war,” said Alison.

But the Admiral wasn’t smiling. “Alison,” she said, “we’ve been fighting a war since Voyager contacted Starfleet. A very quiet one. And one that I don’t intend to lose.”

 

 

 

 

---

chapter 20

 

 

Janeway admired the view on the screen: a Class K nebula that Seven’s new long-range sensors had detected at an impossible distance. Before they’d even gotten within range of the old sensors, Seven’s new system had also detected a good supply of deuterium in the nebula, turning a star-chart point of interest into a required stop. They couldn’t afford to pass up any supply of deuterium; their normal need for the element had increased considerably with the construction of the slipstream drive. In the past month they’d made tremendous progress, and in her most recent report B’Elanna had estimated completion within another three weeks.

“Captain,” said Harry. “I’m detecting biogenic readings in the nebula.”

Janeway turned. “Biogenic? Are you sure?”

“I’m double checking now.” He looked up. “Yes. Approximately 1,500 kilometers from our position.”

Rising from her chair, Janeway stood in the center of the bridge and gazed at the view screen. “Seven, do the Borg have any knowledge of this?”

“No, Captain.” Seven stood with her hands clasped behind her back. “Perhaps you might ask Ms. Hamilton; her knowledge postdates mine by 3.7 years.”

Janeway nodded. “Janeway to Hamilton. Please report to the bridge.”

“On my way.”

Less than two minutes later Lynne walked off the turbolift and stood at the upper rail, an expectant look on her face. Janeway gestured toward the screen. “There are biogenic readings in this nebula. Does the Collective have any information on it?” She watched a familiar unfocused look come into Lynne’s eyes—it lasted for only a second, and anyone less intimate with her would probably never see it. But Janeway always knew when Lynne was accessing her cortical implant.

“Yes,” said Lynne. “Species 9132—” she shook her head—“I mean, the Barek consider the life form in this nebula to be a deity with a personal interest in their welfare as a species and as individuals. They make pilgrimages here once every five revolutions of their sun, to make offerings and request intervention in their affairs.”

“And does it respond?” Janeway asked.

“They think so.” Lynne smiled. “But probability and chaos theory would account for the results just as well. There has never been a direct communication between the entity and the Barek. But they’ve never entered the nebula, either. Their beliefs prohibit it.”

“Anything else?”

“Not anything useful, no. But I can tell you that the Barek have been aware of this entity for over twelve thousand years.”

“All right.” Janeway retook her seat. “Mr. Paris, take us to the far side, away from the entity, and then in. Mr. Kim, deploy the Boussard collectors as soon as we enter the nebula. Seven, monitor the location of the entity.”

They all watched the screen as Voyager slid into the towering columns of nebular gas.

“The Boussard collectors are deployed,” said Harry. “Deuterium levels rising.”

“The entity has not altered its location,” said Seven.

“Good.” Janeway settled into her chair. The deuterium levels in the nebula were quite high; they should only need to stay inside it for three hours. Hopefully they wouldn’t offend the Barek’s deity in that time.

“Captain.” It was Lynne. “Do you need me for anything else?”

Janeway turned to smile at her. “You don’t want to hang out here for the next three hours?”

“Not particularly,” said Lynne. “I’m sure it will be fascinating, but I left Watkins on her own.”

“You’re dismissed.” No matter how often they interacted professionally, it still felt a little odd to say that to her wife. But Lynne just nodded and left.

After another hour of slow flight through the nebula, Janeway concluded with some relief that they weren’t interesting enough to be of note to the entity.

“Chakotay, you have the bridge,” she said, rising from her chair. “I’ll be in my ready room.”

She walked through the doors and stopped dead, her hand instantly going to her comm badge. “Janeway to security, intruder alert in my ready room.” Warily she approached her desk. “Are you the entity native to this nebula?”

The blue, pulsing cloud hovering behind her desk coalesced before her eyes into a copy of herself, right down to the last pip on the collar. “I am,” it said.

The ready room doors slid open, revealing Tuvok and Lieutenant Ayala with their phasers out and ready. Janeway held up her hand in a silent gesture to wait.

“We mean you no harm,” she said. “We’re only here to collect an energy supply for our ship.”

“I’m aware of that,” said her double. “Did it occur to you to ask permission?”

“We had no idea that you would respond to or even hear our communication,” said Janeway. “In twelve thousand years you’ve never communicated with the Barek. I apologize if we’ve trespassed.”

“Of course you’ve trespassed,” said the entity. “And I never talk to the Barek because, frankly, they’re boring beyond belief.” It waved a hand and Tuvok and Ayala vanished.

“What did you do to them?” demanded Janeway.

“Oh, don’t get your shorts in a twist,” said the entity. “I just put them back on the bridge. I wanted to talk to the person in charge, not the hired help.”

Janeway tapped her comm badge. “Janeway to Tuvok. Are you and Lieutenant Ayala all right?”

“Yes, Captain. We’re outside your ready room, but are unable to enter. Do you require assistance?”

“Not at the moment. Stand by, Tuvok.”

“You don’t trust me, I see.”

“When it comes to the safety of my crew, I like to be sure,” said Janeway. “How did you get here? We were monitoring your location; you never moved.”

“Sure I did. But the part you’re monitoring is still there.”

“Are you…more than one entity?”

“When I want to be.” It smiled, and Janeway wondered if she always looked that cocky when she smiled.

“Do you have a name?” she asked, keeping her voice even.

“I do. But I’m certain you would be unable to pronounce it. You can call me…Captain.” There was that smile again. Janeway thought this entity would probably get along just great with Q.

“I would prefer to call you something else,” she said. “I don’t believe you’ve earned that rank.”

Now the smile showed teeth. “You are a feisty one.” The four pips faded and were replaced with admiral’s bars. “How about Admiral?”

Janeway crossed her arms. “How about something else?”

Now her double laughed outright. “Oh, I like you. If the Barek were half as interesting as you, we’d have a whole different relationship.” Suddenly the entity blurred and reformed itself, and Janeway kept her expression blank only through a considerable act of will when she found herself looking at Lynne.

“Kathryn?” said Lynne, her eyes wide.

Janeway tapped her comm badge. “Janeway to Hamilton, what’s your location?”

“I’m right outside your door. Are you all right?” Lynne’s voice clearly conveyed her worry.

“I’m fine. But you’re missing an interesting experience.” Janeway smiled at the entity. “Nice try.”

The entity shrugged, and a moment later there were two Lynnes behind the desk. Before Janeway could even take a step forward, they merged into one. “Then perhaps I should try something different,” it said.

With a sinking feeling, Janeway called Lynne again, and was not surprised to get no response. “Computer,” she said, “locate Lynne Hamilton.”

“Lynne Hamilton is in the captain’s ready room.”

“Of course I am,” said the entity. “Don’t you believe your own eyes?” It cocked its head to one side and gave Janeway a loving smile. “Always the scientist, wanting confirmation.”

“Let her go,” growled Janeway. “You wanted to talk to the person in charge. I’m not saying a word to you until you let her go.”

“You’ve already said several words,” the entity pointed out. It walked around the desk to stand well inside Janeway’s personal space, and reached out a hand to trail a finger down her jaw. Janeway jerked her head away and took a step back.

“Don’t touch me.”

The entity looked crushed. “Kathryn, it’s me.”

Janeway leveled an even stare at it.

Slowly the hurt look faded to one of amusement. “Lynne always said you could drop an ensign at twenty paces with that look. It is rather impressive.”

Janeway crossed her arms over her chest and remained silent. They stared at one another for a full minute before the entity sighed.

“Fine. You’re not much fun.” It blurred and separated into two Lynnes. Janeway had no idea which was which.

“What the hell was that?” asked the one on the left.

“Who the hell are you?” asked the one on the right. They circled each other with identical looks of suspicion.

Oh, Christ. I just wanted some damned deuterium, was that too much to ask?

Janeway spoke to the ceiling. “Computer, lock onto Lynne Hamilton’s coordinates and beam her to the bridge.”

The Lynne on the left vanished in a transporter beam, while the remaining one laughed. “You’re getting angry, Captain.”

“What do you want?” Janeway certainly was getting pissed off, but she’d be damned if she’d give this creature the satisfaction of showing it.

“What any explorer wants,” said the entity, now looking entirely sincere. “To learn. I came here to learn about you.”

“About me personally, my ship, or my people?”

“All three.” It nodded enthusiastically.

“Then why the games? Why not just ask? Obviously you already know a great deal; surely you know that meeting new life forms is one of my greatest pleasures. Usually.”

“Because I was hoping you’d play with me.”

Janeway stared. “You’re over twelve thousand years old and you want me to play with you?”

The entity sighed. “I don’t get much company, Captain.”

“And if you treat all your guests this way, it’s no wonder.” Janeway felt like she was talking to a poorly-behaved teenager. The thought made her pause. “You’re not old, are you?” she asked. “You’re a youngster among your species.”

“Well, you’re the first one to ask me that.” The entity smiled. “I knew you were different. All the others made assumptions based on their tiny life spans. You see outside your expectations. I like that.”

“Thank you,” said Janeway, swiftly changing her tactics. “And I appreciate your coming to visit me.”

“You do?”

“Certainly. I’m an explorer, too, and I’d enjoy sharing information with you. But what you call playing—the kinds of behaviors you engaged in just now—I would consider acts of aggression. I’d much rather be your friend.”

The entity considered that. “I didn’t realize. I thought you’d enjoy the challenge.”

“Believe me, I have enough challenges in my life. A friendly visit with an intriguing new life form sounds much more interesting right now.”

“You think I’m intriguing?”

“Well, of course I do. There’s so much I’d like to know about you. But would you do me a favor?”

“That depends.” The entity looked wary.

“Would you take some form other than that of my wife?”

The entity smiled. “You don’t want to look at her?”

Janeway didn’t bite. “I love looking at her. But you’re not her.”

“No,” it said with a little sigh. “But I could be her for a little while. Like I just did. I’d like to experience some of the things I see in your mind.”

“Absolutely not,” said Janeway. “My people have extremely strong beliefs about that.”

“I know, that’s why I said I could be her. It wouldn’t be any different than if I weren’t here.”

“Yes, it would, and I think you know that.”

“Fine.” The entity blurred and resolved itself into her double again. “Is this better?”

“Is that my only other option?”

There was that cocky smile. “Yes.”

“Then I’ll take it.” Janeway gestured toward the upper level. “Would you like to join me for a cup of coffee?”

“Yes, I would. I’ve been wanting to try that. Your feelings are quite strong regarding coffee; it must be important.”

“Critically,” agreed Janeway, leading the way to her couch.

 

 

-----

 

 

Once the behavioral boundaries had been set, Janeway actually enjoyed her time with the entity. It accepted her offer of a ship’s tour, and they walked onto the bridge to the obvious relief of Lynne and equally obvious confusion of her bridge crew—except Tuvok, of course. Janeway simply smiled at them, told Chakotay to maintain the deuterium collection, and headed for the turbolift. Lynne fell in step behind them without being asked, and when the turbolift doors closed she immediately went to stand beside Janeway.

“Are you sure she’s the right one?” asked the entity, giving Lynne what Janeway could only describe as a come-hither look. She frowned at it.

“Positive,” said Lynne without hesitation.

Janeway turned to her. “How can you be so certain?”

Lynne raised an eyebrow. “Because you smell like coffee. She doesn’t.”

“Ah, so that’s the reason you drink that foul brew,” said the entity. “For identification purposes.” There was that cocky smile again.

The ‘lift doors opened on deck eleven, and Janeway led their little group to engineering. Someone had obviously warned B’Elanna and her team, because the sight of two Captain Janeways didn’t seem to faze anyone.

Amazing what we’ve gotten used to out here, thought Janeway. She stood to one side as B’Elanna toured the entity around her domain. Lynne stayed right beside her.

“I’m sorry about what happened in the ready room,” said Janeway quietly. “If I could have stopped that, I would have.”

“I know. Don’t worry about it.”

“What was it like?” asked Janeway after a pause.

Lynne tilted her head in her thinking posture. “Like being in a room with a very high charge of static electricity,” she said at last. “Like looking at you through a sheer curtain. And a little bit like being in a dream, because I was doing things but it wasn’t me. I didn’t touch you, Kathryn.”

“I knew that wasn’t you.” Janeway remembered how strange that had felt. “It was your body and your hand, but something was missing. It just didn’t feel right.”

“I was missing,” said Lynne.

They smiled at each other, then faced forward again and watched B’Elanna explaining warp theory to the entity.

“You know,” Lynne said, “I have to admit, this is really a bit weird. But less weird than seeing myself in your ready room.”

Janeway smiled. “I met my real self a few years back, when Voyager was duplicated.”

“Yeah, I remember reading about that. So what did you think of yourself?”

“I thought she was stubborn and overbearing. But devoted to her crew and willing to make the hard decisions.”

Lynne grinned at her. “Well, she was you.”

Janeway discreetly poked her in the side. “And what did you think of yourself?”

“I thought she had a great ass.”

Janeway couldn’t help her laugh.

 

 

-----

 

 

After the tour, Janeway dismissed Lynne and returned to her ready room with the entity. Lynne had advised it to try hot chocolate, and as they sat on the couch sipping their respective drinks, the entity pronounced the new drink to be far superior.

“Don’t tell Lynne,” said Janeway. “She’ll be insufferable.”

They conversed about anything and everything, with the entity asking questions that came from left field and continually challenged Janeway’s ability to explain. She found herself enjoying the entity’s company for the intellectual exchange, and was genuinely regretful when it rose and said it had to depart.

“Chakotay to Janeway. The deuterium collection is complete.”

“Thank you, Chakotay. Stand by.” Janeway stood up and looked at her guest. “Is that why you’re leaving?”

“No, that’s why you’re leaving. And I can’t go with you.”

Janeway nodded. “I’m glad you came. I’ve truly enjoyed our time together.”

“As have I. Captain, I would like to leave you with a small gift.”

“That’s not necessary.”

“I rarely do things that are necessary. I do things that I want. Captain,” the entity said earnestly, “your ability to look beyond your expectations has greatly impressed me. My gift to you is actually a bit of advice. Death is simply another expectation. Look beyond it.”

Janeway opened her mouth to ask for details, but the entity held up its hand in a very familiar gesture. Then it held that same hand out. “Safe journey, Captain.”

“Thank you,” said Janeway as she shook hands. “Good luck with your future explorations.”

“There is no luck,” said the entity. “I think you know that.”

Janeway nodded, and the entity dissolved into a pulsing blue cloud. Suddenly it moved forward and enveloped her, and she stood still in wonder as every cell in her body seemed to buzz with a tiny static charge. It was warm and stimulating, and actually rather enjoyable. A moment later the entity was gone. Janeway looked around her empty ready room, shook her head, and walked out on the bridge.

“Mr. Paris,” she said as she settled into her chair, “take us out, nice and slow.”

 

 

 

 

---

chapter 21

 

 

B’Elanna stared at Tom in disbelief. “No,” she said. “Impossible. We tested this engine molecule by molecule.”

He looked very unhappy. “I didn’t want to believe it, either. But it’s there.”

She looked at the PADD again. “A point four two phase variance. Shit. We need to tell the captain.”

“I’ve set aside some holodeck time,” said Tom. “I thought we could run through a few simulations first.”

“Good idea,” B’Elanna agreed. She looked up. “Vorik!”

The Vulcan gazed at her calmly. “Yes, Lieutenant.”

“Take over. I’m going to the holodeck.” She met Tom’s eyes, smacking the PADD against the heel of her hand. “Goddammit. You know this is it.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “I think it is.”

“Fuck,” she said as they left main engineering. “Why now, when we’ve finished construction? Two goddamned months of work! After another month and a half of theoretical design!”

Tom shrugged. “We’d never have found it before. And it was only by a fluke that I found it now.”

B’Elanna grumbled to herself. She’d dared to hope that the slipstream drive would be their ticket home. For all the captain’s instinctive caution, the drive had appeared to pass every test. Even Janeway had finally given up her worries at their last staff meeting, congratulating them on a job well done and telling them that she’d notified Starfleet of their impending test drive. The celebration party was scheduled for tomorrow night, after the first test. Damn!

Three hours later, B’Elanna’s grumblings had become a full-throated roar of frustration and rage. The PADD with Tom’s initial findings lay shattered on the floor of the holodeck. Breathing hard, B’Elanna glared at Tom while hitting her comm badge a little harder than necessary.

“Torres to Janeway.”

“Go ahead.”

“Captain, you need to call a senior staff meeting. We’ve got a problem with the slipstream drive.”

 

 

-----

 

 

“Are you sure about this, B’Elanna?” Janeway’s voice was as calm as ever.

“I’m sure.” B’Elanna tried to tamp down her anger; to make herself as calm as the captain. She looked around the conference table at her crewmates, all of whom had expressions of disbelief and dismay. “Tom found the phase variance this morning. We ran twenty-three simulations. In all twenty-three, no matter what we did, we couldn’t keep the phase variance below zero point four two. And at that variance, either Voyager suffers catastrophic hull failure, or we get thrown out of the slipstream and the quantum matrix overloads.”

“Which is the same thing as catastrophic hull failure, just a little slower,” added Tom.

B’Elanna nodded. “It’s the mousetrap, Captain. We could never have found it until the slipstream drive was actually completed, and it’s only because Tom is such an engine nut that we found it at all. It’s a bust. We can’t use it; the probability of our total destruction is one hundred percent.”

Janeway sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “The trouble doesn’t start until the phase variance reaches point four two, right?”

“Right.”

“Is there any way to reduce it? Keep it at, say, point three?”

“We tried everything we could think of. I’d welcome suggestions.”

They brainstormed for an hour, but every suggestion was shot down, most because B’Elanna and Tom had already tried them. Janeway had long since given up her chair and was pacing irritably, making B’Elanna nervous. She really, really wished she knew a way out of this. But it didn’t look good.

It was Harry Kim who came up with the best possibility.

“Wait,” he said. “The phase variance acts like a current in the slipstream corridor, right? Like rapids in a river, that disrupt the smooth flow.”

“Right,” said B’Elanna tiredly.

“So what if we sent a shuttle upstream? What if someone goes out in front of Voyager and rides the rapids first?”

B’Elanna raised her head. “You mean, map the threshold of the slipstream as it’s forming, and send the phase corrections back to us?”

“Yeah!” Harry looked around, beaming. “It could work!”

“It actually could,” said B’Elanna thoughtfully. “But the shuttle would only be two or three seconds ahead of Voyager. I’m not sure the autonavigation would have enough time to compensate.”

Janeway stood behind her chair and looked at Tom. “Tom? Do you think you could compensate?”

Tom shifted uncomfortably. B’Elanna felt sorry for him; Janeway had put him on the spot in a big way.

“Yeah, I think I could,” he said.

Janeway fixed him with a force-ten glare. “Let me rephrase the question,” she said. “Are you certain that you can compensate?”

Tom straightened in his chair. “No,” he said clearly.

“Tom!” It wasn’t what Harry had wanted to hear.

“Sorry, Harry,” said Tom. “I’m not sure enough to risk everyone’s life on it. I know I could do it for a short time, but we’d be in the slipstream for forty-eight hours. That’s a long time to be error-free.”

“But we take risks like that practically every day out here!” Harry jumped out of his chair. “Captain, you’ve taken worse risks than this without even blinking! This is our ticket home!”

Janeway said nothing, simply looking at him, and he walked down the side of the table, looking at each person in turn.

“What other choice to we have?” he asked. “Take the drive off line? Months of work for nothing? The Benamite crystals at the heart of this engine have already started to decay. It could take years to synthesize more! I don't know about the rest of you, but I didn't do all this work just to be stopped by a point four two phase variance.” His path had led him around the table and directly into Janeway, who hadn’t moved a centimeter. She stared a hole in him, and he immediately flushed and looked down. “No offense, Captain.”

“None taken,” she said, her voice velvet over steel. “I’m willing to consider your proposal, Mr. Kim. Have a flight plan on my desk in one hour.”

Harry beamed. “Yes ma’am!”

Janeway looked at the rest of them unsmilingly. “I’ll let you know what I decide. Dismissed.”

 

 

-----

 

 

“Can I help?”

Janeway looked up at her wife. “No, I don’t think so. Thanks, though.”

Lynne sat down on the couch next to her. “Kathryn, you made the right decision.”

“Did I?” Janeway felt tired. “Three and a half months of work, a real chance to get home, and I’m pulling the plug. It doesn’t feel like the right decision.”

Lynne slid her hand under Janeway’s, lacing their fingers together. “If it doesn’t feel right, then why are you doing it?”

“Because the alternative feels even less right.” Janeway gripped Lynne’s hand in frustration, then let go and dropped her head back on the couch. “Fuck. Harry’s right, a few years back I wouldn’t have blinked at a risk like this.”

“That’s not true and you know it.” Lynne’s voice was firm, and Janeway looked at her in surprise.

“You took risks when you had to,” Lynne continued. “When the survival of Voyager or one of your crew was at stake. You took risks for other species, and for Starfleet ideals. And you took them when they seemed to be the best alternative. But you never took risks when they weren’t necessary, and this is not necessary, Kathryn. There are other ways. We will get home, but not like this. Not when we’re trying to overcome a built-in death switch.”

Janeway gave her a weary smile. “Thanks for the pep talk.”

“It’s not a pep talk. It’s the truth. I believe in you, and you’re doing the right thing.”

Closing her eyes, Janeway asked, “Why does the right thing always feel so wrong?”

Lynne’s answer came in the form of a gentle kiss. “Does that feel wrong?” she whispered.

“No.”

“I rest my case.”

Janeway opened her eyes again and looked into the face of the woman she loved. “Would you mind just…holding me?” After nearly ten months of marriage, it was still a difficult thing for her to ask. She didn’t know why; it wasn’t as if Lynne ever refused her or made her feel weak for asking.

“I would love to hold you,” Lynne said quietly. She scooted over to rest her back against the arm of the couch. “Come here.”

Janeway wasted no time cuddling up against her wife, sighing when Lynne’s arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her close. She rested her head against a strong shoulder.

“Damn,” she said. “I wanted that coffee.”

Lynne laughed. “I’m sorry. I made it last as long as I could.” They’d finally run through the last of the Columbian coffee beans two weeks ago, and Janeway was in mourning. She’d been looking forward to getting back to Earth for more than one reason.

Janeway grasped Lynne’s forearms and pulled them more tightly around her. Looking up, she said, “Thank you for this.”

“No need to thank me for doing what I love,” said Lynne. “I think I’d have quantifiable withdrawal symptoms if I couldn’t hold you like this on a regular basis.”

“Me too,” said Janeway. “But don’t tell. I’m supposed to be tough as duranium.”

“Not in here, you’re not.”

And thank god, that was true. Janeway closed her eyes again and let herself relax. Tomorrow she’d be the tough captain. Tonight…tonight she was just Kathryn.

 

 

-----

 

 

“The President of the Federation?” asked Revi in astonishment.

“Yes,” said Seven. They were sharing lunch in the mess hall with B’Elanna Torres and Tom Paris. Harry had chosen not to come to the mess hall today; according to B’Elanna, he was “pouting.” Seven found this difficult to comprehend. He had made a proposal; Kathryn had deemed it too risky and rejected it. A simple risk assessment and, by her calculations, a prudent decision on Kathryn’s part. What was there to “pout” about?

“Well, that explains why my personal comm link time got put off until Thursday,” said Tom. “Why do you think he’s calling?”

“I can’t speculate,” said Seven. “I know only that the entire comm link time allotment has been reserved for this call.”

“Shit,” said Revi. “I’ll bet he’s going to pressure the captain to use the slipstream drive.”

“Why the hell would he do that?” asked B’Elanna incredulously. “The President of the Federation doesn’t get involved in the business of a single starship.”

Revi opened her mouth to speak, then diverted her glance to the doors of the mess hall. “Perhaps he does when that starship carries a certain passenger,” she said quietly.

“Hey guys.” Lynne walked up and pulled a chair from a neighboring table. “What’s up?” She looked from one to the other expectantly, and when the silence went on a second too long, her face hardened. “Should I leave?”

“No,” said B’Elanna quickly. “We were just discussing—”

“—the fact that Harry needs to grow up,” Tom interjected when B’Elanna hesitated. “He’s been moping around for three days now. I mean, we all want to get home just as much as he does, but he’s acting like he’s the only one.”

“Maybe I need to thump him,” said Lynne. “It’s not as if Kathryn made that decision easily. It doesn’t help when members of her crew are openly questioning it.”

“If anyone thumps him, it should be me,” said B’Elanna. “I haven’t been in the brig yet.”

Lynne gave her an easy grin. “Not for lack of trying.”

Seven watched the interplay, fascinated by the social interactions and the complexities of what was and was not being said.

: Revi, why don’t you want Lynne to know what you’re thinking? :

: Because I might be wrong, and I don’t want her to think that we blame her for the mousetrap or the fact that we can’t use the slipstream drive. :

: Why would we blame her? She had no involvement with the mousetrap. :

: No, she didn’t. But the fact is, that mousetrap was aimed at her and she knows it. She also knows that whoever did it wouldn’t blink at killing every one of us to get at her. I know how that would make me feel. :

Seven knew, too. : I do not believe that Lynne is as prone to guilt as you are, Revi. :

: No, she’s not. But you don’t have to be prone to guilt to feel bad when your very existence threatens the lives of all your friends and family. :

Seven looked at Lynne, who had just made B’Elanna laugh with a sarcastic comment. A protective feeling swept over her, as well as a strong anger toward the unknown person who valued his economic status more highly than the lives of every person on Voyager.

: I know, Seven. I’d like to find this person—or persons—and perform a little elective surgery. : Revi’s anger was easily as strong as Seven’s. They looked at each other in perfect understanding before returning their attention to the group at the table.

 

 

-----

 

 

Janeway tugged her uniform jacket down as she stood in front of the Astrometrics viewscreen. Seven was on the bridge, directing the link from her auxiliary station. One did not take calls from the Federation President with subordinates in the room.

“Captain, the link will commence in ten seconds.”

“Thank you, Seven.”

The Astrometrics screen lit up with the Federation emblem, startling Janeway for just a moment. She was so accustomed to seeing calls prefaced with the Starfleet emblem that this one seemed almost foreign. She waited.

The emblem was replaced with a balding man whose demeanor indicated a familiarity with power. She’d been in the Delta Quadrant for more than two years before President Gutierrez was elected, and had no knowledge of him other than the records she’d read through in preparation for this call. She hadn’t told Lynne about her suspicions, but based on what she’d read, she was reasonably sure why he was taking the time to give her a call.

“Captain Janeway, a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I’ve heard a great deal about you.”

“Thank you, Mr. President.” I’ve read a great deal about you. A career politician up for reelection next year…

“Your name has come up with some frequency in these last few months,” he continued. “The famous Starfleet Captain who has kept ship and crew together against all odds, making her way home through every conceivable setback and danger.” He bent a piercing brown gaze on her. “Tell me, Captain Janeway, why would you turn your back on that quest now? Now, when victory is in your hands?”

I knew it. “I’ve turned my back on nothing, sir. Getting this ship and crew home has always been, and always will be, my first priority. But I want to bring all of them home. Alive and intact. The slipstream drive will not accomplish that; it’s too dangerous.”

“Yes, I’m aware of the phase variance. I’m also aware that one of your engineers came up with a solution.”

“Yes, sir. But the solution involves a two-second window in which to make critical alterations to our course. The alterations are too complex for the autonavigation, and my best helmsman gave his considered opinion that he could not guarantee his own ability to make them. A single mistake would result in certain destruction of the ship. The risk is simply too great. Believe me, we’ve looked at every alternative.”

“Your opinion does not match that of your Ops officer.”

What the hell do you know about Harry’s opinion? “That’s true, sir. But I’m not in the habit of allowing my Ops officer to make my decisions for me.”

President Gutierrez linked his hands together on top of his desk and gave her a kindly look that didn’t fool Janeway one bit. “Captain Janeway, you’re known for finding unorthodox solutions to problems. It surprises me that you would so quickly reject just such an unorthodox solution from Lieutenant Kim. Is it possible that you have not given his solution more consideration because it came from a young lieutenant, rather than one of your more trusted crewmembers?”

“Lieutenant Kim is one of my more trusted officers, Mr. President. He is also young, enthusiastic, and very eager to return home. His idea was an excellent one. It’s simply too risky, and that’s my call to make, not his.”

The kindly look vanished. “Will you reconsider your position on this?”

“No, sir. I did not make this decision lightly; reconsidering it will not result in a different decision.”

He sighed. “Captain Janeway, are you aware of the Hamilton Foundation’s recent decision to withhold funding from Federation space exploration efforts?”

“I am,” she said evenly.

“Though the information has never been made public, I’m aware that the purpose of that decision is to route all funding toward research that will bring your ship home. Specifically, to bring Ms. Lynne Hamilton home.”

She waited.

“The withholding of funds has already been extremely detrimental to our interplanetary security and economic standing,” he said. “It will only be more so as time goes on and the effects build. Your wife, Captain Janeway, is the key to the health and perhaps the survival of the Federation. The Dominion War was extremely expensive and has left us in a less than desirable economic position. The Hamilton Foundation’s decision could not have come at a worse time.” He leaned forward. “We need Ms. Hamilton here, and we need her to reverse that decision.”

“Ms. Hamilton is extremely concerned about that situation,” said Janeway. “However, she has no power with the Foundation.”

“I realize that,” he said, a little impatience showing around his careful diplomatic mask. “Which is why it’s critical that she return immediately. Use the slipstream drive, Captain. You could be home in two days.”

“If I do that and the phase variance destroys Voyager, your ‘situation’ will go unresolved for the next one hundred years,” Janeway said. “That’s a rather big risk for the Federation.”

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take,” he said. “Just as you should be.”

She shook her head. “I’m sorry, sir. My decision stands.”

“Then you give me no choice,” he said.

Don’t do it! Please don’t do it…

“Captain Janeway, as President of the Federation and Commander in Chief of Starfleet, I am ordering you to use the slipstream drive. Notify your crew that you will be engaging the drive in twenty-four hours.”

She gazed at him evenly. “No, sir. I will not.”

His diplomatic mask fell away entirely. “You’re refusing my order?” he asked, plainly shocked.

“As a Starfleet officer, it is both my right and my obligation to question or refuse orders that are illegal or counter to the best interests of the Federation, Starfleet, or my ship and crew. This order is not in any of our best interests, sir.” She silently begged him to see past his immediate need. “I will get my crew home. And I’ll get Lynne Hamilton back to the Hamilton Foundation. But I will not do it using the slipstream drive. My engineering team is working on several other very promising theories even as we speak; I firmly believe that we can be home in another year or two. Safely.”

His stunned expression gave way to anger. “It is not for you to decide the best interests of the Federation, Captain. Another year or two will do incalculable damage. Obey the order!”

Another year or two and somebody else might get elected. “I’m sorry,” she said calmly. “I can’t obey that order in good conscience.”

“Then you’d better never come home, Captain,” he snapped. “Because the moment you do, your court martial proceedings will begin.”

“I understand that,” she said. “It won’t keep me from fulfilling my obligations. I’ll get this crew home safely, sir. As soon as I can.”

“Captain Janeway,” he growled, “you need to—”

The screen went blank.

“I’m sorry, Captain,” came Seven’s voice. “The link has terminated.”

“It’s all right, Seven. We were done.”

And so is my career.

 

 

 

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