chapter 11

 

 

At 1055 the next morning, Janeway was pacing back and forth in front of the holodeck doors, waiting anxiously. She heard a familiar footstep and looked up to see Lynne approaching, wearing tight, stretchy pants and an equally tight short-sleeved shirt. God, she looked great. And she was carrying Janeway’s gift in her right hand.

Lynne stopped and gave Janeway a warm smile as she held up the rose. “Hi, love. Thanks for the peace offering.”

“Thorns intact,” said Janeway.

“Of course.”

“I didn’t mean to be a thorn yesterday,” Janeway said. “I’ve been trying so hard to be what you need, and I just…lost my way, I guess. Revi said I was trying to manipulate you, and she was right. I’m sorry, Lynne.”

Lynne shook her head. “You don’t need to apologize. You’ve been a saint through all this, and I know it’s been hard for you. You have been exactly what I needed, Kathryn.”

“Even yesterday?”

“Well…you gave me something to think about, that’s for sure.” Lynne tapped her gently on the nose with her flower, just as the holodeck doors opened and Harry Kim came out with Tal Celes. They were so close together that a molecule might have had problems fitting between them, and they barely seemed to notice the couple waiting at the entrance. Just as they walked past, Harry broke their eye contact enough to see his captain.

“Captain! Lynne, hello. Hey, the arm looks fantastic.”

“Thanks,” said Lynne. “I’m about to take it for a test drive.”

“Well, have a great time.” They walked down the corridor, and Lynne caught Janeway’s eye.

“How long do you give them before Harry comes asking for your services?”

“Why does it have to be Harry?” countered Janeway, glad for the change of subject. “Why not Tal? Got a little double standard there?”

“Not at all,” said Lynne. “But I happen to know that Tal is only slightly less than scared to death of you, so I’m thinking Harry’s a bit more likely.”

“Good point,” Janeway conceded.

“Come on,” said Lynne. “I’ve got a wall to climb, while you sit around for hours watching your wife in action.” She turned to the console, punching in a program number, then stepped back and invited Janeway to precede her.

When Janeway walked through the doors, she immediately stopped and craned her neck. “That’s what you’re going to climb?”

“Yeah,” said Lynne, coming up next to her. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

“Scary as hell is what I’m thinking.”

Before her was a solid granite cliff that went up, and up, and up. Straight up, with a few overhangs.

“Where’s your gear?” she asked.

Lynne gave her a confident smile. “What gear?” She pointed to a tiny crack, perhaps three or four centimeters wide, running up the rock face. “I don’t need it. I have that.”

Janeway looked doubtfully at the crack, then back to Lynne. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope. Well, okay, I do use a little gear. Computer, one chalk bag on a belt, and hand tape.”

With a hum, the requested items materialized at Lynne’s feet. She gave her rose to Janeway, picked up the chalk bag and strapped it around her hips, then picked up the tape and began wrapping her left hand. “I’m not going to wrap the right one yet,” she said as she worked, “because I want to see how tough this skin really is. But I’ll carry the tape in my belt just in case.”

She finished wrapping, tucked the end under, and looked up. “Computer, one camp chair and a glass of ice water.” She held her hand out toward the chair and drink. “Have a seat. It’s about to get warm in here. I like to climb in summer conditions.”

“I’ll sit later. First I want to see how you even get started.”

“Pure cussedness, as my mom would say.” Lynne walked to the base of the wall with Janeway trailing after. “She said that half of the things I did could only be done because I was too ornery to admit that they couldn’t be done.”

“Imagine that,” said Janeway. “It’s good to know that you haven’t changed.”

Lynne winked at her. “What do you think attracted me to you in the first place?”

She studied the wall for a bit, then carefully put her hands into the crack and inserted one foot. “Okay, here we go.” With a slight grunt, she pushed off her other foot and tucked it into the crack, her body bent at an angle. Letting go with her right hand, she grabbed another handhold higher up. She tested the strength of the hold, then brought her bottom foot up to a tiny nub next to the crack. Another push, another switch, and she was already well off the ground. She paused, looking down over her shoulder.

“Kathryn, this arm is amazing. There’s no strain at all!”

“How about the legs?” asked Janeway.

“Stronger than hell. I know, I know, the implants are working to my advantage. That wasn’t very subtle.”

Janeway smiled innocently. “I’ll just be in that chair over there.”

She sat, leaning back with her legs stretched out in front of her and crossed at the ankle, watching Lynne’s progress up the wall. Soon she stripped off her uniform jacket, and a short time after that the shirt came off, leaving her in her uniform pants and tank top. Lynne hadn’t been kidding about the summer heat.

She sipped her now-melted ice water and shook her head as Lynne negotiated an overhang with no apparent difficulty. She could understand the right arm being able to pull her weight up an overhand hold like that, but the left? It occurred to her that until now she’d never realized exactly how strong Lynne was. Then she mentally corrected herself—how strong Lynne had been. Because now, with her implants, she was far stronger.

Soon Lynne was high enough that Janeway just rested her head on the back of the chair, looking nearly straight up to watch her. It was incredible, really, this vertical dance she was moving through. It was rhythmic, almost soothing in a way, and Janeway found her thoughts wandering as she watched. She wondered if that rhythm was part of what Lynne loved so much about climbing. It was an extremely physical sport, depending on agility and endurance as well as strength. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that climbing utilized everything that Lynne valued about her physical self.

It took Lynne over two hours to reach the top of the wall. She pulled herself over the edge and out of sight, then reappeared, standing on what had to be the thin edge of disaster. She thrust her clenched fists toward the sky and let out a scream of pure victory. Then she began shouting, and Janeway quickly realized that she wasn’t meant to hear this. But the holodeck used principles of visual perception to create the impression of distance, and Lynne had apparently forgotten that. She may have thought Janeway was out of hearing, but in fact her words came down loud and clear.

“You will not beat me!” she shouted. “Do you hear me? You will not win! Kathryn already beat you, and now it’s my turn! You can’t take this away from me, and you can’t take her away from me, because I won’t let you! I’ve had enough! Fuck you, YOU WILL NOT WIN!”

Janeway blinked back tears, wishing she were with Lynne right now. She had never heard such defiant anger from her wife before, but it was music to her ears. If Lynne was angry, then she was moving past being hurt.

Lynne stared down at her for long minutes before finally walking away from the rim and out of sight. When she reappeared a short time later, she tossed a long coil of rope over the edge, turned around, and stepped off. Janeway watched in amazement as her wife rappelled down in the longest jumps she’d ever seen anyone take. Jesus, was that because of her leg implants or did she normally take those kinds of jumps? The impacts must be enormous.

Lynne stopped her descent halfway down and began playing on the rope, running along the cliff to one side and leaping off, twisting once or twice before landing on the rock face and running back the other way. Janeway could hear her laughing.

Finally Lynne stopped playing and completed her descent, the sound of the rope buzzing through her descender becoming more audible as she neared the ground. Two more jumps and she hit the ground with a thump and a happy exclamation. In moments she’d unclipped from the rope and taken off her harness, leaving it on the ground. She turned around and flashed a brilliant grin at Janeway, who rose from her chair.

Lynne ran up to her, wrapped her in a bear hug, lifted her right off the ground and spun her around. Then she carefully put her back down and straightened up, the broad grin still on her face. “That was fabulous,” she said. “I can’t even tell you how good that felt. Thanks for setting this up for me.”

“Believe me, it was my pleasure.” The very air around Lynne was crackling with energy. She was covered in chalk dust and rock dust, her shirt was damp with sweat, and stray hairs were escaping from her braid. Janeway was certain she’d never looked so gorgeous. As she watched, Lynne pulled the band from the end of her hair and began undoing her braid.

“Hold it,” Janeway said. “That’s my job.” She stepped up and buried her fingers in the thick hair, glorying in the feel of it and in the play of light on the silver strands.

“Sorry,” said Lynne with a smile. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Obviously you weren’t.” Janeway freed the last of the hair from its tight twists, then allowed herself a few gratuitous strokes, watching Lynne’s eyes close.

“Kathryn.”

“Hmm?”

“I really am sorry about yesterday. I feel like I’m the one who should have given you the rose.”

Janeway found a relatively clean spot on her cheek and kissed it. “Don’t be sorry, sweetheart.” Lynne’s eyes opened and locked on to hers as Janeway continued, “You didn’t do a damned thing wrong. I made a mistake pushing you too hard, and you didn’t need that. You’ve had a lot to deal with.”

“So have you,” said Lynne firmly. “And the thing is, it’s not our fault. None of this is our fault. I need to be directing my emotions where they belong. Kathryn, she can’t win. I won’t let her.”

Janeway deliberated a moment before admitting, “I heard you.”

“You did?” Lynne’s surprise was evident, then she nodded. “Right. Relative visual perspective. I forgot about that. Well, what you didn’t hear was the mantra going through my head as I was climbing. It made a great rhythm to work with.”

“I saw the rhythm,” said Janeway. “It was…almost soothing. What were you thinking?”

“About what you said yesterday. ‘Trust me to love you.’ It wasn’t soothing to me, because you should never have to ask me for that. It was making me angrier and angrier the higher I got. I’ve lost some of my trust, and that pisses me off. She took it away, and I want it back. I want it back, Kathryn.”

The look in her eyes was unmistakable. All of Lynne’s formidable determination was focused on her, and Janeway knew she’d guessed right about this day.

“I want it back, too,” she said. “I want you to believe me when I tell you what I see and what I think. We built this marriage on honesty and truth. That hasn’t changed.”

“I know,” Lynne said.

Janeway reached into her pants pocket. “I was planning to take you out to dinner and give this to you then, but something told me this might be a better time and place.” She held up Lynne’s new ring. “Lynne Delilah Hamilton, will you still be my wife? Now that you’ve had a practice run at it, and know what it really means?”

Lynne took the ring with careful fingers, her eyes glowing. “Now that I know what it really means,” she said, “I feel twice as lucky to be married to you. Hold this for a sec?” She gave the ring back, then unwound the tape from her left hand, revealing clean, pink skin that shone in contrast to the dirt and chalk everywhere else. She took the ring and slipped it on, staring at it for a long time before looking up. “Thank you. That just caps off the most wonderful afternoon I think I’ve ever had, and it’s all because of you. Would you mind kissing a stinky, sweaty woman?”

“Not at all. Besides, you’re not all that sweaty. I think I’m sweating more than you, and I just sat here.”

“Yeah, that’s a bit weird. Revi told me that I wouldn’t sweat as much. Those nanoprobes are busy little things.”

Janeway was delighted at Lynne’s casual reference. Smiling, she slipped a hand behind her wife’s neck and they came together in a kiss that started a very definite fire in Janeway’s body. She hoped this meant what she thought it did. When they pulled apart, Lynne lowered her head and began nibbling her breast through the shirt and bra. Janeway sucked in a breath, startled by how intensely turned on she was already. The nibbling moved across to the other breast, and Lynne’s hands swept down her back, pulling her tank top out of her waistband. In a moment she’d pushed both shirt and bra up, her lips immediately seeking out a bare nipple.

With an effort, Janeway managed to get her hands under Lynne’s head and pull her back up.

“You’d better not be starting something you don’t plan to finish,” she said. “And we don’t have time to finish it here.”

“Actually,” said Lynne, “we have seventeen minutes left, but I don’t want to be in a hurry. And I’d like to be a bit cleaner.” She pulled Janeway’s bra and shirt down. “Come on.”

Hand in hand, they made their way back to their quarters, where Janeway set out sandwiches and salad while Lynne showered. A few minutes after the water turned off, Lynne emerged into the living room. Janeway stopped what she was doing and stared.

Lynne was wearing her silk robe, her wet hair slicked back and her feet bare. The robe fell to mid-calf, exposing the bottoms of her leg implants. She looked sexy as hell, and Janeway decided that lunch could wait. She crossed the room in three steps and took Lynne’s hands in her own. “There’s a sandwich on the table for you,” she said, “and I’m going to get cleaned up, too. I’ll be out in no time.”

She gave Lynne a quick but passionate kiss, then moved past her into the bedroom. One warp speed shower, coming up.

Apparently Lynne had decided to have a warp speed lunch, too, because she was in the bathroom brushing her teeth when Janeway turned off the water. She handed Janeway a towel, finished her teeth, and turned to watch as Janeway wrapped the towel around her torso and stepped out.

They stood face to face in the steamy bathroom, and suddenly Janeway didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to make a wrong move, or push Lynne a millimeter past where she wanted to go. She needed Lynne to lead this time.

Lynne reached out, hooked a finger in her towel, and slowly pulled it off. She took a leisurely visual tour of Janeway’s body, her arms crossed over her chest and the towel dangling from one hand.

“You’re so beautiful,” she said at last.

Janeway bit down on what she wanted to say. The last time she’d told Lynne the same thing, she’d gotten a vehement denial. She didn’t know how much of what Lynne had said on the holodeck was just determination, and how much was an actual change of mindset.

Lynne dropped the towel. “You said you wouldn’t let me touch you unless I let you see me. I want to touch you, Kathryn. And I’ve had enough of letting her dictate my life. So I guess that just leaves me one choice.” Without breaking their eye contact, she slowly untied her robe, pulled it back to her shoulders, and let it drop to her feet.

Janeway held her breath. She’d never dreamed that Lynne would go from frightened resistance to full disclosure in one day. Revi had counseled patience, telling Janeway that her own frustration was totally understandable, but that Lynne would likely take weeks or maybe months to move past her fear and self-loathing. But then, Revi had never seen the magic that mountains and climbing worked on Lynne. Climbing that rock wall today had restored her confidence in a way that nothing else could have, and Janeway wasn’t about to question a miracle.

She let her gaze drop to the starburst implant over Lynne’s left breast. The central disk was perhaps two centimeters in diameter, with the rays extending another two centimeters beyond that. It was perfectly symmetrical and actually looked somewhat ornamental, Janeway thought. Looking in the mirror, she saw a similar but much larger implant on Lynne’s right shoulder. This one was asymmetrical, with a longer set of rays curving around to the side of her upper arm. In no way did it detract from the beauty of her smoothly muscled back and shoulder.

She followed the lines and curves of Lynne’s body to her legs, where the implants took up a good portion of space. The outside of each knee sported a rectangular implant about eight centimeters long and three wide. Two silver lines came out of the top and bottom of each implant, running along the thigh and calf for perhaps ten centimeters before vanishing beneath the skin. Though the rest of her body was unmarked by Borg technology, she could see dozens of thin scars where implants had been removed and the new skin hadn’t quite finished merging with the old. Revi had told her they would fade in a few weeks.

She raised her eyes to Lynne’s once more, seeing a shadow of fear there. Lynne was waiting for her judgment.

“You are the sexiest woman I have ever seen,” she said.

Lynne took in a gulp of air. “Oh, god.” She closed her eyes. “I don’t know how you can say that, but I believe that you believe it. And I’m so goddamned lucky.”

Janeway stepped forward, closing her own eyes for just a moment at the incredible sensation of skin-to-skin contact. When she opened them, Lynne was bending down, and she met her halfway in a kiss that quickly restarted the fire in her body. By the time they broke apart, Janeway knew exactly what she wanted to do. It was time for a little strategic distraction. She nudged Lynne’s chin up and began kissing and nibbling her throat, then her collarbones, gradually working her way down. When she’d worshipped a good portion of Lynne’s throat and upper chest, she gently closed one hand over Lynne’s right breast and took the other nipple in her mouth. She suckled it for glorious minutes, hearing Lynne’s breathing change, then let go and dragged her tongue up the slope of the breast—and right over the implant.

“Jesus!” Lynne jumped. “It’s sensitive!”

Janeway didn’t raise her head, instead kissing all around the implant and dragging her tongue across it again. Lynne let out a tiny sound, and now Janeway focused her attentions on the implant itself, trying different pressures and motions with her lips and tongue. Lynne squirmed, holding Janeway’s head to her chest with one hand while the other tightened around her back. “God, Kathryn, what the hell are you doing to me?”

Janeway straightened up. “Turn around,” she ordered.

Lynne stared, then slowly turned around to face the mirror.

“Bend over.”

Lynne bent down, propping herself up with her forearms on the counter. Janeway ran her fingers lightly up and down Lynne’s spine, watching with delight as the body beneath her hands shifted and wriggled. She stepped to Lynne’s right side, caressed her back and ribs, then brushed Lynne’s damp hair off her neck. She leaned over to pay proper attention to the now-bare neck, while wrapping an arm around Lynne’s back and cupping her breast. Soon her right hand cupped the other breast and she happily played with them, lightly tugging on the nipples, while making sure she got all of the sensitive spots on Lynne’s neck and upper spine. Finally she nibbled her way across to Lynne’s right shoulder and licked the implant there.

Lynne’s head dropped onto her arms. “I can’t believe how good that feels,” she said in a muffled voice.

“I can,” murmured Janeway into her ear. “Though I admit to having a slight advantage.”

Lynne lifted her head, and their eyes met in the mirror. “What advantage?”

Keeping her eyes locked on Lynne’s, Janeway licked the implant again, feeling a great sense of satisfaction at the sound that came out of Lynne’s throat.

“I talked to Revi last night,” she said, resting her chin on Lynne’s shoulder. “She told me a little something about these implants. Let’s just say that she and Seven know how to use them.” She lifted her chin and nibbled the skin around the implant, then fastened her mouth over it and began sucking.

“AaaaAAAHH!” Lynne dropped her head again and began squirming in earnest. “Kathryn! Jesus!”

Janeway let go and put her mouth next to Lynne’s ear. “Why have you been hiding these from me, Lynne? They’re incredibly sexy. I love the way they make you move.” She stepped behind Lynne, ran her hands down her back, then pulled her towel over with her foot, dropped to her knees and began nibbling on the firm cheeks that were at just the right level. She slid one hand between Lynne’s legs, smiling at the way they instantly spread.

“Did you want something?” she asked innocently.

“Oh, no, no,” said Lynne. “I’m just up here waiting to see what those leg implants are going to feel like. I know that’s where you’re going next.”

Janeway wanted to put her fist in the air in celebration, but instead she gently moved her fingers through the lubrication that already coated Lynne’s folds. “You don’t know anything, sweetheart,” she said, sliding a single finger inside velvet heat. Lynne groaned at the sensation, and Janeway almost did as well. God, it felt good. She pulled out, added a second finger, and went back in a little harder.

“Yes,” whispered Lynne, pushing herself backward onto Janeway’s hand. Janeway met her thrust and bit Lynne’s inviting cheek for good measure, hearing a startled yelp. She stifled the impulse to laugh, soothing the bite mark with kisses and licks as she continued to thrust. Then she paused in her motions, leaving her fingers buried while she concentrated on nibbling her way down Lynne’s thigh to her implant. Yes, that had been where she was going, but she didn’t think Lynne minded the detour.

When she began licking and kissing the implant, she felt Lynne tighten around her fingers and resumed her thrusting. Lynne immediately set up a counter rhythm.

“Kathryn…” She was breathing hard. “Are you trying to kill me?”

Her voice was raspy with arousal, and Janeway dropped one last kiss onto the implant before carefully getting to her feet, leaving her fingers where they were. She draped her upper body over Lynne’s back, brought her free hand around front, and began driving Lynne right over the edge.

“Look up, sweetheart,” she whispered into her ear. “I want to see you.”

Lynne brought up her head, her eyes glazed with passion as she began pushing herself onto Janeway’s fingers with increasing need. Their gazes locked in the mirror as Janeway met her thrusts, watching the signs of impending orgasm. When she felt the first flutters around her fingers, she lowered her head and began sucking on the shoulder implant.

Lynne cried out as she came, nearly bucking Janeway off. Her head went back, then dropped onto her arms as her entire body shook. “Oh, god, Kathryn!”

Janeway kept up her motions until she was sure she’d wrung every bit out of Lynne that she could. Then she slowed down, leaving her fingers inside as she gently ran her other hand up and down Lynne’s front. She caressed her breasts, lightly brushed the chest implant, then straightened up and began rubbing Lynne’s back.

“Well,” said Lynne into her arms, “these leg implants aren’t as strong as they’re supposed to be. I’m about ready to drop right here on the bathroom floor.”

Janeway laughed. “Then we’d better get you to a more comfortable spot,” she said, and slowly withdrew her fingers.

Lynne made an unhappy sound, then sighed and pushed herself upright. “I’ve got to lay down,” she said, stumbling out the door to collapse on their bed.

Janeway leaned in the doorway, feeling enormously relieved and not a little smug. “You have no idea how wonderful it is to see you like that,” she said.

“What, exhausted and unable to move?”

“No.” Janeway walked over and stood at the edge of the bed, thoroughly enjoying the opportunity to look at her wife’s body again. “Gloriously naked and not caring. You’re so beautiful.”

Lynne met her eyes. “Thank you for saying that. And even more for believing it. I know you’re looking at me through the eyes of love, and that means everything in the world to me. But I don’t think I’ll ever see them the way you do. Or maybe the way you don’t.”

Janeway put one knee on the bed and a moment later was straddling her. “I see them as a gift,” she said soberly.

“You’re kidding.”

“No, not at all. They make you move in really nice ways.”

Lynne rolled her eyes. “You are a dog. But I think I love you for it.”

“Okay, I admit that isn’t the only reason. But it is an unexpected benefit.”

“And the real reason is?”

Janeway settled onto her forearms, bringing their faces close together. “I almost lost you, Lynne. But I didn’t. You’re here, strong and beautiful, and I can feel the heat of your body right now. You’re alive and vibrant and you make me feel eight meters tall when you look at me. And not only are you all these things, but you’re actually stronger than before; healthier than before. You’re not going to get sick again, do you realize that? You’re immune to practically everything. When you cut yourself you’ll heal almost instantly. When Seven got shot on the Arnett ship, she came back with a phaser burn that would have resulted in muscle loss and skin grafts on a full human, with days of recovery time. Instead, her nanoprobes repaired it in less than two hours. The Queen may have left her mark on you, but that doesn’t mean it’s all bad. Tell me, how long would it have taken you to climb that wall today without your leg implants and your arm?”

“I made the wall fifty percent taller to test myself,” admitted Lynne. “I didn’t know if I’d have time to get to the top. But I finished early and had time to play on the way down. It was incredible.”

Janeway nodded. “Revi has more reason to hate the Borg than most. But even she says that they left her with some amazing gifts. She wouldn’t trade her link with Seven for anything, and her medical knowledge makes her the most brilliant doctor in the Federation. You’ve gained so much, Lynne. There’s so much knowledge in your head, and so much strength in your body. And the only outward signs are this—” she dropped her head to kiss the chest implant—“and your shoulder implant, and two on your legs. And personally, I find them very sexy. Because they represent the fact that you fought your way back to life. And because they make you move in sexy ways. And because, frankly, this one on your chest and the one on your shoulder are really quite attractive. They look like body jewelry. Like something people would want to emulate if you ever let them see.”

Lynne stared at her for long, silent minutes. Janeway could practically see the wheels turning in her head. Then she wrapped her arms around Janeway, rolled them over, gave her a searing kiss, and got up.

“Where are you going?”

“To the bathroom,” said Lynne, vanishing through the door. “I want another look at these things. To see if I can see them through your eyes.”

Janeway hopped off the bed and followed, finding Lynne studying her chest implant in the mirror. She walked up next to her, and their eyes met in the mirror.

“Body jewelry, huh?”

Janeway nodded. “Think about it. They’re flush to the skin, they have a beautiful shine, and the shape really is attractive. I even like the mark here where your cybernetic arm joins your human one.” She touched the thin pale line halfway down Lynne’s upper arm. “It looks like a bicep tattoo.”

“What about the leg implants?” Lynne’s voice held a slight challenge.

“They’re not as attractive as the chest and shoulder implants,” said Janeway honestly. She knew that if she tried to tell a white lie now, Lynne would never believe anything she said about the implants. “But they’re perfectly symmetrical, and they make you very, very strong.” She lowered her voice. “And when I put my mouth on them, I can feel you tightening on my fingers. So that makes them sexy to me.”

Lynne shivered at the tone and the words. She broke their eye contact and went back to staring at her chest implant, bringing up her right hand and carefully touching it. Her eyes half-closed at the sensation.

“Do you know I had no idea they were so sensitive?” she asked. “That one time when you touched this one, I was so freaked out that I didn’t feel anything. And you couldn’t get me to touch them with a three-meter pole. It was such a surprise when you…did what you did.”

“A good one?”

Lynne met her eyes again, and a slow smile spread over her face. “A very good one.”

She moved so suddenly that Janeway hardly even saw it. One moment she was standing next to Lynne, the next she’d been picked up and deposited on the counter.

“God!” she said in surprise. “Did I mention ‘fast’ along with ‘strong’?”

“Oh, but I don’t want fast,” breathed Lynne, nuzzling her throat. “I want slow and tortuous. I want to hear you test the soundproofing of our quarters.”

It was so typical of Lynne. She never failed to surprise Janeway, and she never did anything by halves. If she was going to get over her sense of self-loathing, then by god she’d get over it—now. Janeway smiled as she leaned her upper back against the mirror, feeling Lynne working her way down her chest. Life was good.

Lynne made good on her promise, making Janeway wait a very, very long time before she put her mouth where she knew it was most wanted. By that time Janeway was so wound up that the first touch of Lynne’s tongue sent her head slamming back against the mirror with an audible crack. It was a wonder the thing didn’t shatter, she thought, and a few seconds later she ceased to think at all.

Her orgasm almost made her levitate off the counter, and Lynne didn’t give her a break. She squirmed and pushed her hands against Lynne’s head, trying half-heartedly to make her stop, but Lynne’s response was simply to change her technique from licking to sucking. In moments the build-up began again, and Janeway stopped trying to push her away. Of course it was then that Lynne pulled back and stood up.

“What the hell are you doing?” demanded Janeway.

Lynne grinned at her. “I just thought of another way to test out these implants you seem to like so much.”

“Now?”

The tone of her voice made Lynne throw her head back and laugh. “Oh, god, I love you,” she said when she got control of herself. “Yes, now. I think it might be worth your while. Stay here.”

She walked out of the bathroom, and Janeway let her head fall back against the mirror with a martyred sigh. Lynne was going to be the death of her.

When Lynne reappeared a minute later, Janeway raised her eyebrows at the sight of the Risan joystick attached to her.

“How are the dimensions?” Lynne asked.

Janeway reached down and stroked the phallus, enjoying the way Lynne’s eyes slid closed at the sensation. The joystick had been programmed with the ridges and vibrating bump that they both loved. “Looks about right.”

“Good. Put your arms around my neck.”

Janeway complied, wondering what Lynne had in mind. A moment later she had her answer when strong hands slid under her thighs and lifted her off the counter. Automatically she wrapped her legs around Lynne’s waist.

“Perfect,” said Lynne, looking into her eyes. “You just make yourself comfortable, love. I’ve always wanted to do this.” She walked out of the bathroom, then suddenly turned and shoved Janeway against the wall hard enough to wring a surprised “oof” out of her. Holding her effortlessly in place with her right hand, she ran the fingers of her left through Janeway’s folds. “Oh, yes,” she murmured, then crushed her mouth against Janeway’s in a passionate kiss. Their tongues moved back and forth, each allowing the other to explore and then exploring in turn, until Janeway gave up and let her head fall back against the wall. The sensations that Lynne’s fingers were causing left her unable to concentrate properly on the kiss. Lynne didn’t seem to mind, nibbling her way down Janeway’s throat instead. She lifted Janeway a few centimeters higher, aggressively sucking and biting her breasts and driving her completely insane. Then everything went still.

Janeway raised her head to see Lynne staring at her. “God, don’t stop,” she whispered.

“I just wanted to see you when I did this,” Lynne said. “Don’t close your eyes.” She allowed Janeway to slide down just enough to put their hips at the same level, and a moment later the joystick slipped inside. They stared into each other’s eyes as Lynne slowly pushed the phallus all the way in, then equally slowly pulled out.

“Tell me you’re not going to keep that pace the whole time,” said Janeway.

Lynne gave her a truly evil smile. “You’re not telling me what to do, are you love?” Again she thrust slowly in and out.

“I’d never dream of it.” Janeway knew she was in trouble.

“That’s good,” whispered Lynne, just before slamming the phallus back in. Janeway let out a cry, then another as she felt the vibrating bump activate.

“Christ!”

Lynne ground her hips in a circle, then pulled out once more. “Guess what, Kathryn.”

She wants conversation now?

“What?” she said, when it became obvious that Lynne wasn’t going to move until she got an answer.

“The leg implants seem completely unfazed by this, and I think this arm can hold you up for hours.” Lynne set up a slow stroking motion. “How long would you like it to take?” she whispered.

Oh, now there was a trick question. Janeway took the easy way out. “As long as you want.”

Lynne laughed. “You are such a diplomat sometimes. You know,” she said casually as she continued her tortuously slow thrusts, “I set the sensitivity to thirty percent. This feels good, but I can control it forever. So ‘as long as I want’ might not be the answer you want to give.”

She drove in hard, activating the vibrator, and held herself there while moving her hips in a slow side-to-side motion.

Janeway could barely think through the haze that was taking over her brain, but she knew that if she didn’t give a better answer Lynne really would torture her for hours.

“I want it fast and hard,” she gasped. A low chuckle sounded in her ear.

“I thought you might.” And Lynne obliged. Janeway could only hold on for the ride, which sent her spiraling up until her thigh muscles were twitching and her entire body was tensed, waiting for the explosion. When it happened her head hit the wall so hard she saw stars, but she didn’t care about anything but the orgasm roaring through her body. Lynne kept the phallus pushed in to the hilt, letting the vibrator drive Janeway through her orgasm as she made almost imperceptible thrusting motions.

When the waves passed, Janeway went completely limp. All she wanted was to be let down.

“Lynne…”

“I know. Keep your hands around my neck.”

Janeway tightened her hold as much as she was capable of, and Lynne backed away from the wall, turned and walked to the bed. It was an interesting sensation to say the least, and it woke Janeway up a bit. Lynne carefully put one knee on the bed, then brought up the other and shuffled forward. When she’d cleared the edge she lowered Janeway onto the soft surface, keeping their connection intact. Janeway let her arms and legs drop with a sigh of relief, then opened her eyes when she felt the phallus move inside her once again.

Lynne was holding herself up on her hands, the control lying to one side. A groan of pleasure escaped her. “I just upped the sensitivity to ninety,” she gasped. “Oh, god…” She lasted only a few strokes longer before her own orgasm rolled through her muscles, sending her head back as she opened her mouth in a wordless cry. Finally her head dropped down again, hanging limply as she caught her breath, and Janeway ran her hands over the tense muscles in Lynne’s arms. Then her mind corrected her as her hands felt the difference—only one arm had muscles. For a moment she wanted to weep.

But Lynne tossed her hair back over her shoulder and fixed Janeway with a gaze of pure, dazed happiness. “Thank you,” she whispered. She lowered herself onto her forearms, covering Janeway’s upper chest with kisses before moving to her throat and finally, her mouth. Then she reached for the control and Janeway knew by the sudden lack of fullness that Lynne had hit the reset button. She was relieved; this session had taken a lot out of her and she was ready to relax.

Moving slowly, Lynne backed away, detached the joystick, and crawled to the side of the bed. She pulled the box out of her nightstand and dropped the joystick in, then rolled over onto her back with an expulsion of air.

“Jesus,” she whispered, staring up at the ceiling. “Apparently orgasms just sap these implants. I can barely move. I’d love to hold you but this appears to be as far as I can go.”

Janeway scooted over and nestled in, throwing an arm and a leg over Lynne’s body possessively and resting her head on her shoulder. In this position, Lynne’s chest implant was far too easy to reach and too tempting. She brought her hand up and gently brushed her fingers over it. Lynne jumped.

“Kathryn, god! Do you want to start this all over again? Do you realize that’s as sensitive as my nipples?”

“Really? How lovely for you. And me.”

Lynne laughed weakly. “You’re going to kill me.”

“I hardly think so, Ms. Let’s Test These Implants. But I do have an idea for improving it the next time you shove me up against a wall.”

“Oh, do tell.”

“Let me hold the control. I can change the sensitivity to time our orgasms.”

“Ooo. I like the way you think.”

Janeway propped herself up, bringing her mouth over Lynne’s. “And I love the way you think.” She kissed her. “I also love your implants. That was something we could never have done without them, and I want to do it again.”

“I’ve created a monster,” Lynne complained.

“And whose fault would that be?”

“You started this whole thing.”

“I believe that you pulled my towel off. You get the blame.”

Lynne wrapped her arms around Janeway’s back, pulling her down and squeezing her. “Okay, I’ll take the blame. And Kathryn?”

“What?”

“I love you. Thank you for being so patient with me.”

“Does that mean no more pajamas in bed?”

“Do you know how much I hated those things? They were forever getting twisted up or bunched up or pulled the wrong way. I say good riddance to them.”

Janeway blinked back the mutinous tears, pushing herself up and kissing Lynne instead. “I love you too. And I was prepared to be patient for much, much longer. You did this far sooner than I expected.”

“I did? I thought you were totally frustrated with me yesterday.”

“Not with you. Never with you. With the situation, and the fact that I could kill the Queen but she was still in here with us. I asked Revi over when I got your note, and she told me that it could easily be weeks or possibly months before you felt comfortable with your body again.”

“Kathryn.” Lynne looked at her seriously. “I don’t ever want that bitch in our bed again. But I also can’t say I’m comfortable with my body. No matter how…useful I might find some of these implants, the fact is I’m half machine and I didn’t choose that. I’m comfortable with it around you, though, and that’s the most important thing. The rest will come.”

“I hope it comes soon.” Janeway reached up to run her fingers through the hair at Lynne’s temple. “Because you really are beautiful, Lynne, and I look forward to the day when you see yourself through my eyes.”

“I’m not sure that’ll ever be possible,” said Lynne thoughtfully. “You’ve always seen me differently than I saw myself. I think that’s one of the nice things about being in love—having someone who sees more in us than we do.”

Janeway gave that some consideration. “You could be right. Certainly you’ve always seen more in me than I have.”

“Well then.” Lynne smiled at her. “Shall we set up a mutual admiration society?”

Janeway reached for Lynne’s left hand and held it up. “I think we already did. It’s called marriage.”

Lynne pulled her down and kissed her, and Janeway made herself comfortable by sliding off to one side, leaving half her body draped over Lynne’s. She was sated and happy, and if they still had a ways to go to completely reclaim Lynne’s self esteem, well, they were already far ahead of the game. They could take their time for the rest.

 

 

 

 

---

chapter 12

 

 

Seven checked her readout for the sixth time, more for a lack of anything constructive to do than out of necessity. Tom Paris was at the controls of the Delta Flyer, B’Elanna was in the co-pilot’s seat, and she and Revi were in the rear of the shuttle with no tasks at hand. “Twiddling our thumbs,” Revi had said, and Seven thought it was a fairly accurate description.

Boring though her current circumstances might be, however, the prospects at the end of their journey were more than enough to make it worthwhile. Voyager had gotten word of this engineering conference from a passing trader, and to her complete surprise Kathryn had suggested that she and B’Elanna attend.

“I’d love to,” B’Elanna had said as they stood in Kathryn’s ready room. “But I’m a little surprised, Captain. Is this a good time for us to be gone?”

She was referring to the work they’d been doing on the propulsion theories, which, along with the Borg weapon and shield modifications, had occupied the engineering teams for six weeks now. They’d nearly completed a blueprint for the slipstream drive, but had yet to find anything wrong with it. The more time that passed without finding the “mousetrap” that Kathryn suspected, the more tense everyone became.

“Is there ever going to be a good time?” Kathryn had asked. Without waiting for an answer—a technique that Seven had long ago recognized as uniquely Kathryn’s—she’d continued, “Voyager’s in good shape right now. The sector is quiet, we’re fully stocked on food and energy supplies, and the test of the Borg phasic weapon went perfectly. By the way,” she added, “I sent the final specs for that to Starfleet yesterday, and Necheyev thought she’d died and gone to heaven. You two can expect a lot of communication about it when you get back.” She gave them an approving nod.

“The point is, now is as good a time as any for you to be gone. B’Elanna, I haven’t forgotten that I still owe you and Tom a honeymoon. And Seven, you could benefit from a change of scenery. Take Revi with you. Go, have a great time, and bring back some new ideas.”

Seven had stayed behind after B’Elanna left, eyeing Kathryn with some suspicion. “I don’t require a ‘change of scenery,’ Captain. Therefore you have some other motivation that you’re not sharing with me.”

Kathryn had looked at her with that small smile which in no way denoted happiness. “Nor can I.”

Seven made an educated guess. “She’s currently engaged in a medical exam. Her attention is elsewhere.”

“You’re getting very good at reading me,” Kathryn had said.

Seven inclined her head. “Or perhaps your ability to dissemble is declining.”

“God, I hope not. That would be a disaster.”

Seven had simply waited, and eventually Kathryn explained.

“I’m worried about her, Seven. She worked endless hours when Lynne first got back, and she hasn’t slowed down much since. I have my suspicions about what’s going on, but she won’t talk to me. So I’m trying a different approach. The conference provides a great excuse, and you and B’Elanna really could benefit. On Earth we call this ‘killing two birds with one stone.’”

“Why do so many human phrases involve death or sports analogies?” asked Seven.

Kathryn had shrugged. “You got me. Because we’re a competitive and homicidal race?”

They shared a smile. “I appreciate this, Kathryn. I can’t compromise her trust, but your concern has some foundation.”

Nothing more could be said, not without attracting Revi’s attention, and the next day they packed up and left for a five-day conference. Revi, of course, knew exactly why she’d been encouraged to take leave and accompany Seven. The fact that she didn’t raise an objection only served to increase Seven’s anxiety about her.

“Hey, Tom,” Revi said, breaking Seven out of her thoughts. “According to this file, the conference is taking place at the same time as a hovercraft race. It says the best pilots from the sector are competing for some sort of annual championship.”

“Really?” Tom’s enthusiasm was instant and completely apparent. “Where?”

“In the same city.”

“Oh, great,” said B’Elanna. “Thanks, Revi, I’ve just lost my husband on what’s supposed to be our late honeymoon.”

“When are they?” asked Tom, ignoring his wife.

“Conveniently for you and your continued physical health, at the same time as the conference. So you can go while B’Elanna’s busy and it won’t impact your…togetherness.” Revi shot Seven a somewhat evil smile.

“Perfect! Come on, B’Elanna, do you really think I’d have left you on your own for a hovercraft race?”

“No, I think you’d have begged and wheedled me into going with you, and I would have been sitting there bored out of my skull. It’s a damned good thing for you that they’re during the conference, because otherwise you’d have racked up some serious husband debt.”

“Husband debt?” Seven hadn’t heard of this.

B’Elanna turned in her chair. “Sometimes he wants to do things that I don’t, and sometimes I want to do things that he doesn’t. So our compromise is that each time one of us does something we don’t really want to, the other racks up spousal debt. It can be called in at any time, and the one who owes has to pay up without whining.”

“So if you wished to attend a Klingon opera, and Lieutenant Paris had unresolved ‘husband debt,’ you could require him to attend with you and he would have to do so without complaint.”

“You got it, Seven. Not that I would ever want to go to a Klingon opera.”

“It seems to be an equitable system.” Privately, Seven thought it would be far more sensible simply to choose a mate with more compatible interests. Revi caught the thought and winked at her, and Seven felt warm all over. She couldn’t imagine requiring “spousal debt” from Revi. There simply wasn’t anything Revi could want them to do that Seven wouldn’t want to do with her, just for the opportunity to spend more time together.

Revi reached out from her seat and slid her hand into Seven’s, and they smiled at each other.

: I love that you feel that way, Seven. But honestly, there are going to be times when you really don’t have any interest in doing what I want. Would you get excited about attending a symposium on new biofilter concepts? :

: No. But neither can I imagine you asking me to attend, so there would be no “spousal debt” involved. I would, however, be waiting just outside the door so that the moment the symposium ended, we could do something of interest to both of us. :

“So tell me more about this race,” said Tom, interrupting their mental conversation. “And can you look in the files and see if there are any others going on? Usually when there’s a championship race, there are other races happening at the same time with other types of vehicles.” He paused to make a slight course adjustment.

Revi checked the file. “Looks like you’re right. There’s a whole roster here.”

“Oh, yeah.” Tom turned around, lighting up the shuttle with his grin. “It’s going to be a great week.”

“And I’m going to have to hear all about it,” grumbled B’Elanna. “You just made my shit list, Revi.”

Seven looked sharply at Revi, having heard the faint thought. But Revi kept her eyes resolutely on her file, and Seven turned away again. They’d already discussed this ad nauseum, to no avail. Seven didn’t know what else to do, and hoped that Kathryn’s solution might make the difference.

Revi was drowning in guilt. She blamed herself for Lynne’s assimilation and the permanent alteration of her body, and had worked herself into a state of exhaustion in her efforts to repair the damage for which she felt solely responsible. She also believed that the crew blamed her as well. B’Elanna’s comment about being on her “shit list” had just pricked that wound. It didn’t matter that both Lynne and Kathryn had told her she was not to blame. She didn’t believe them. Nor did she believe Seven. No amount of logic, reason or assurance could alter her unshakeable certainty that she had failed her friends and crewmates by choosing to compartmentalize the nanoscrubber technology instead of Lynne’s relationship to Kathryn when the Queen had stripped her thoughts. And Seven had to admit that there was some foundation to her feelings of guilt. The expression of murderous rage on Kathryn’s face when Revi had admitted her choice was still etched on her own mind; she knew very well that Revi could not get it out of hers. It had lasted less than three seconds before Kathryn had masked it, but the damage had been done. And now, it seemed, it could not be undone.

The rest of the flight passed relatively quickly, with Revi playing off Tom and B’Elanna to keep the conversation active. Seven had long ago learned that the façade her partner presented to others was in no way indicative of how she was really feeling. She had once accused Revi of a form of deception, only to be totally silenced when Revi had pointed out that she often did the same thing. It had been very disconcerting to realize that she was, indeed, being hypocritical. Since then she had made an effort to be more forthcoming with her feelings, at least to her close friends. But her own behavioral alterations had not served to induce a similar change in Revi.

“Popular place,” said Tom as they came into orbit. The planet hosting the conference was a small M class world, population three point seven billion, and it was completely surrounded by starships of all sizes and classes.

“I had no idea there were so many people interested in engineering technology and theory,” said B’Elanna. Tom laughed at her.

“They’re not here for the conference, B’Elanna. They’re here for the races. I’ll bet if you put the communications on speaker, you’d hear nothing but race talk.”

“Okay, flyboy, let’s see if you’re right.” B’Elanna switched on the communications, and sure enough, nearly every frequency was occupied with voices comparing the merits and shortcomings of pilots, crafts, parts and manufacturers, and even the sexual habits of some of the race coordinators. A fair number of bets were being placed as well.

“This is a waste of resources,” said Seven, who could not understand the appeal of flying crafts in circles to see who finished first. There was nothing to be gained by it.

“On the contrary, Seven,” said Tom as he dodged a small shuttle whose pilot didn’t appear to care whether he lived or died, “races often mark the first appearance of technologies that later show up in larger applications. Like Intrepid class starships, for instance.”

“You’re saying that the technology employed on Voyager was initially derived from racing applications?”

“Some of it, yes. A lot of technology is proved on the racetrack first and then picked up by bigger manufacturers.”

“It’s true, Seven,” said B’Elanna. “I can point to quite a few components in Voyager’s propulsion and maneuvering systems that originated on the racetrack.”

They received permission to land, and Tom gently put the Flyer down in a valley that was wall-to-wall shuttles. They gathered their bags and stood blinking in the sunshine while B’Elanna hit the control to lock up the Flyer.

“Everybody remember where we parked,” said Tom as they walked away.

The public transport system was very efficient, and they soon found themselves being whisked through an enormous city. It was clean, well-designed and, according to Revi, aesthetically appealing. Their lodgings were close to the center of the city, in a ninety-six story building whose first three levels comprised an enormous auditorium and conference center. This was where Seven and B’Elanna would be spending the week.

Given the number of guests in the lobby, it took a surprisingly short time to be checked into their rooms. They separated in the hallway, agreeing to meet in the lobby in two hours for dinner, and it was with some relief that Seven accessed their entry mechanism and entered the quiet room. She’d had enough of enforced companionship for the moment.

Revi threw herself on their bed with a groan. “I’m with you, Seven. Six hours in the Flyer with those two just isn’t my idea of a great time. Not that I don’t like them both, but I was getting tired of race talk. For all her protestations, I think B’Elanna likes racing just as much as Tom does.”

“In that case, your performance was excellent,” said Seven, sitting on the bed next to her. “I’m certain they both left convinced that you have a genuine interest in the subject.”

“Don’t start, Seven. It was common courtesy.”

Seven looked down at her. “I don’t believe B’Elanna meant anything by it.” She didn’t have to explain what it was.

Revi turned her head away. “B’Elanna made her feelings perfectly clear.”

“Eight weeks ago, Revi. Is it not possible those feelings are no longer current?”

“She certainly hasn’t said anything to indicate that.”

“She said nothing to indicate her feelings in the first place. Why should she believe that she would need to verbalize them now?”

Revi slid off the bed and went to the window, her back to Seven. “I don’t want to talk about it. We’re on leave, remember?”

Seven came up behind her and slid her arms around a body that lately seemed increasingly frail. They’d brought a portable regeneration unit with them, but it was incapable of the complete charge that the alcoves on Voyager provided. To prepare, both of them had regenerated for twelve hours before their departure. Seven knew that Revi required more; she hadn’t been regenerating for the same lengths of time that Seven had, always finding more work that needed to be done.

“I remember,” she whispered. Revi turned in her arms and buried her face in her shoulder. They stood there in the silent room, their minds quiet, and took comfort from their embrace.

 

 

-----

 

 

The next morning Tom took himself off to the races, with a promise to be back in time to meet the others for dinner. Revi spent some time in the lobby, viewing the various options available to visitors, and was delighted to find that the city was known for its botanical gardens. She’d never evinced a consuming interest in flora, so Seven was somewhat surprised at her enthusiasm.

“Well, it never really came up in conversation,” said Revi when Seven asked. “It’s not like we’ve had the opportunity to wander through too many gardens lately. But I used to love gardening. At the Academy I did my civic service hours with Boothby, the head gardener. It was paradise working with him.”

“I’m familiar with the name Boothby,” said Seven. The Academy gardener seemed to have near-mythical status among several of Voyager’s officers, especially Kathryn.

“He was a…different sort of man,” said Revi. “As different from my father as night and day. He never judged. He just sort of watched life, and accepted it in all its facets. I think that’s why he was a gardener. Plants don’t judge, either. They just grow, or fail, depending on the quality of the environment you give them.”

After sharing breakfast with B’Elanna and Seven, Revi set off for the nearest garden, and Seven watched her go with a smile. With the exception of the momentary sadness caused by B’Elanna’s unthinking remark, Revi’s spirits had been very high the previous night and remained so this morning. Seven couldn’t have been more pleased; the leave was accomplishing its primary goal.

Now for the secondary one.

“Well, shall we?” asked B’Elanna. Seven nodded, and soon they were standing at the registration booth, signing in and being handed their data PADDs. Or at least, thought Seven as she examined the electronic device, something very similar to a PADD. She accessed the schedule and frowned.

“B’Elanna, this schedule is flawed. It shows five talks taking place simultaneously.” She checked the rest of the day’s listings. “Every hour!” she added in dismay.

“It’s not flawed, Seven. That’s how these things work.”

Seven looked at her incredulously. “It’s not possible to attend all five talks. Do they not wish the registrants to hear everything?”

“Most registrants don’t want to hear everything,” said B’Elanna. “They may not be interested in a particular topic, or it might be too complex for their level of knowledge, or it may be an area that a coworker knows better. Usually what we do is split up, go to different talks, and compare notes afterwards. Unless something really strikes us, and then we’ll go together.”

“But if we split up we will still only attend forty percent of the talks. We’ll miss more than half of them! How will we know which ones can be missed with the least impact on our data gathering mission?”

B’Elanna pulled her out of the line. “Seven, people are staring. We’re not on a ‘data gathering mission.’ We’re at a conference, for Kahless’ sake. You’re supposed to just go to whichever talks you think you might enjoy or learn from. Don’t worry about the rest.”

Seven found this whole concept distressing. To be presented with such a vast amount of research and data, and not be allowed to access all of it, was frustrating and an inefficiency of the highest order. But then a soothing voice came into her mind.

: She’s right, Seven. You’re here to enjoy yourself, and maybe learn something useful. Don’t worry about missing anything. This isn’t a duty. :

: How can I not worry about missing anything when one of these talks might contain a technological or conceptual key to our return to the Alpha Quadrant? :

: You can’t take that on yourself. Just go and have a good time. :

Seven thought somewhat mutinously that Revi was one to talk about not taking things on herself. This got no response, which meant Revi was either preoccupied or consciously ignoring her.

With an unhappy sigh, Seven perused the schedule more carefully. There were four sessions before lunch, a one-hour break, and three sessions after that. Quickly she chose the talks that appeared to have the most potential, and B’Elanna said she wanted to attend three of those as well. Seven immediately began to select alternatives, but B’Elanna covered her PADD with her hand.

“Seven, just go where you want to go. It doesn’t matter if we’re at the same talk.”

“It decreases our efficiency.”

“Will you stop? This isn’t about efficiency. And even if it were, having us attend the same talk could be good. We can discuss it afterwards.”

Eventually the talks were decided upon, and they split up for the first two. Seven found them quite intriguing, and was eager to know what B’Elanna had heard in hers. They found each other for the third session, whereupon Seven was shocked to learn that B’Elanna had changed her mind and gone to a completely different talk during the prior session. B’Elanna just laughed at her and said it was perfectly okay to do something different than they’d planned, which Seven found somewhat baffling.

They separated for the fourth session, had lunch together, and attended the same talk for the fifth hour. The sixth session offered a presentation that Seven had been most intrigued by, since it dealt with techniques for increasing long-range sensors that might be useful in Astrometrics. B’Elanna went off to a talk on plasma fuels, and Seven settled herself in the main auditorium, eagerly awaiting this speaker.

The woman who came on stage was a native of the planet and typified their tall, small-boned physical structure. The Anduvians were so slender that, upon first viewing them, Seven had wondered how their endoskeletons could support their height. Revi had theorized hollow bones with internal cross bracing, much like Terran avians.

“Good afternoon, and thank you for attending,” said the woman in a smooth voice. “I am Arrabis Morros, First Chair of the Anduvian Engineering Research Center. It’s my very great pleasure to be here speaking with you today.”

For the next hour Seven sat spellbound as First Chair Morros took her audience through a whirlwind tour of her recent research, then answered questions with perfect equanimity and absolute, flawless knowledge. Seven had never before met an individual with such an enormous grasp of the field, and found herself standing up before she even thought.

“Yes?” Morros looked at her inquiringly.

“How do you account for the effects of theta radiation on your pulse scanner?” asked Seven. “I have tested a similar concept and been unable to proceed beyond that limitation.”

“An excellent question,” said Morros. “Obviously you’ve taken this to a different level. I also had—” She stopped as one of the organizers came out on stage and bowed to her.

“I’m sorry,” she said with a smile. “We’re out of time. Thank you all for attending.”

In the general shuffle as people rose, gathered their possessions and made their way to the aisles, Seven stood motionless. She could not accept that her question would not be answered, and a moment later Morros looked up and made a beckoning motion.

Seven eagerly picked up her PADD and pushed through the crowd until she reached the edge of the stage. Morros came over and looked down at her.

“That was a very perceptive question,” she said. “I’m done for the afternoon; if you’d like we can go to the central plaza and I’ll be happy to discuss it with you.”

Seven hesitated. She was supposed to meet B’Elanna for the last session. But then again, B’Elanna was the one who’d said it was acceptable to do something different than what they’d planned. The last session did not hold nearly the same interest for Seven as having her question answered.

“I would be very pleased to accompany you to the plaza,” she said.

“Delightful.” Morros jumped off the stage to land next to Seven. “Then you must call me Arrabis, and what may I call you?”

“I am Seven of Nine, astrometrics officer of the starship Voyager, but you may call me Seven.” She waited for the usual questions.

Arrabis smiled. “What a perfect name for you. A prime number, unique and indivisible.”

They walked out together, finding an empty bench in the plaza. Arrabis began addressing Seven’s question, which led to other questions, and Seven lost all track of time as she found herself in one of the most intellectually stimulating conversations she’d ever had. Arrabis was a genius, her mind making connections that often seemed unlikely at first, but swiftly became obvious as she explained her reasoning. Seven fired off question after question, all of which were answered with the same care and consideration. By the time Arrabis looked at the suns and confessed that she needed to return to her quarters, Seven was stunned to find that she’d overstayed the hour and was now late. She never forgot the time; it was difficult with an internal chronometer. B’Elanna would be looking for her and would likely be in a less than tractable mood.

Even as she stood up, she heard her name called in a tone that did not bode well for their evening.

“Kahless on a crutch, Seven, where the hell have you been?” demanded B’Elanna as she stomped up to them.

Arrabis held out a slender hand, towering over B’Elanna by twenty centimeters. “I am First Chair Arrabis Morros,” she said. “You are a friend of Seven’s?”

B’Elanna looked up, flustered. “Yes,” she said, shaking Arrabis’ hand. “B’Elanna Torres, Chief Engineer of the U.S.S. Voyager.”

“Ah, shipmates,” said Arrabis. “I have been enjoying the most delightful conversation with Seven of Nine. Never before have I met such a mind,” she added, looking into Seven’s eyes. “Truly unique, like her name.” Though addressing B’Elanna, she did not look away from Seven. “Please forgive me for keeping her beyond your meeting time. It was unavoidable; I simply couldn’t end our conversation until I had utilized every possible moment.”

B’Elanna nodded, her brows drawn together.

“Seven, this was an unexpected but very great joy. Perhaps we shall see each other again?”

Seven reached out to shake her hand, and was surprised when Arrabis lifted it to her lips instead. Was this the Anduvian method of saying goodbye? Before she could ask, Arrabis gently dropped her hand and walked away.

B’Elanna looked after her with a frown. “Does she know you’re taken?”

Seven spent half a second translating the phrase. “It never came up in our conversation. We did not speak of our personal lives.”

“Well, if you ever see her again, you’d better. That woman has her eye on you and she’s not making any secret of it.”

“That is unlikely.” Seven reviewed their conversation and could find absolutely no indication of romantic interest in it.

B’Elanna snorted. “Sometimes I forget how naïve you still are. Take it from me, Seven, if you two weren’t in a public space she’d have been all over you. Hell, she was practically all over you right in front of me. And you weren’t doing anything to discourage her.”

They began walking back to the hotel. “It was unnecessary to discourage an activity that was not occurring. We discussed her theories, B’Elanna. That’s all.”

B’Elanna shook her head. “This is my fault. Mine and Lynne’s. We were so careful to make your dating training an enjoyable experience that we never thought to expose you to a player.”

“A player? As in a game?”

“Yeah. As in, a person who makes a game out of getting someone in bed. How much time did you spend with Arrabis?”

“Excluding her presentation, eighty-two minutes.”

“And after eighty-two minutes she’s kissing the back of your hand and looking into your eyes like she’s hoping to kiss something else? Seven, the woman’s a player. If you see her again you need to make it very clear to her that you’re with Revi.”

“I am unlikely to see her again, but if I do, I’ll remember your advice.” Privately Seven thought B’Elanna was getting excited about nothing at all. Arrabis had been completely inoffensive, and Seven hoped they did meet again. Their time together had not been nearly long enough to finish their conversation.

They stopped in the lobby to ask an employee’s advice regarding eating establishments, then went to their rooms to wait for their partners. Revi arrived twenty-three minutes later.

“Hello, darling,” she said, walking straight into Seven’s arms. “I had the most incredible day. I’d forgotten how utterly peaceful it could be to simply sit in a garden.”

The contentment flowed from her like a balm, and Seven basked in it.

: Show me what you saw. :

: I didn’t think you had any interest in gardens. :

: I didn’t. But if one day in a garden makes you this happy, then I have developed a sudden and very strong interest. :

Revi squeezed her. : I love you because you actually mean that. And you have no idea how truly unique that makes you. :

Seven’s thoughts abruptly turned to Arrabis. : I met a fascinating woman today. She also told me that I was unique. Or rather, that my name and my mind were. :

: Really? I wasn’t listening to your thoughts today, I must admit. I was too involved in just existing. Will you share? :

Nodding, Seven closed her eyes and concentrated. She and Revi had become quite practiced at sharing memories, and the experience was both easier to accomplish and more detailed in form than it had been when they’d first met.

She felt Revi stiffen in her arms, and opened her eyes. : What is it? :

: B’Elanna was right, Seven. She was hitting on you. :

: Are you certain? Our conversation never left the realm of theory and applications. I do not understand how she could have been ‘hitting on me,’ unless you’re referring to the kiss on the hand. :

“Oh, Seven,” said Revi, shaking her head. “The kiss on the hand was only the most overt sign she gave you. She was dropping hints right and left.” She smiled suddenly. “It must have driven her a bit crazy not getting the slightest reaction out of you.”

“It’s not worth further discussion,” said Seven, who was becoming irritated that all B’Elanna or Revi focused on was Arrabis’ presumed attraction to her.

“Whoa, wait a minute, don’t get mad at me. Of course that’s going to be the first thing I focus on, Seven. She was hitting on the woman I love. But she didn’t know you’re in a relationship, so it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you enjoyed her company so much, and I’m happy that you had that experience.”

Her sincerity and simple explanation instantly defused Seven’s irritation. “Thank you,” she said. “Now show me your garden.”

 

 

-----

 

 

The next day Seven was perusing the abstract for the third session talk while waiting for it to begin. By now she had adapted to the protocols involved in attending a conference, and ignored the movements and conversation of the people all around her. The previous day she’d been incessantly irritated by the fact that the attendees never seemed to walk in, sit down and cease speaking. Instead, they milled about in an inefficient fashion, discussing topics that had nothing to do with the conference, and generally being loud and distracting until the facilitator began the actual talk. When she’d shared this thought with Revi, she’d gotten a laugh and a gentle hug.

“A lot of those people probably never see each other except at conferences like this,” Revi had explained. “So they’re using the opportunity to catch up on their lives. And others are just meeting for the first time, and making valuable connections that might help their research down the road. The social aspect is every bit as important as the technical one, Seven.”

So today Seven was tuning out that “social aspect” while wondering if this talk would address her curiosity regarding sixth-level containment fields for gaseous energy sources. Which was why she took no notice of the individual claiming the seat next to her—at least, until the familiar smooth voice addressed her.

“Good morning, Seven of Nine. I hoped I might see you again.”

Seven’s head came up and she looked into the smiling face of Arrabis Morros. She inclined her head politely. “Good morning, Arrabis.” All of B’Elanna’s and Revi’s warnings came flooding into her brain and she watched Arrabis somewhat warily.

But Arrabis seemed not to notice, instead launching directly into a discussion of the presenter’s academic background and what he’d been working on prior to the project he would be talking about in this session. Seven was drawn in despite herself, and soon was adding her own voice to the general buzz of conversation. When the facilitator called for attention, she closed her mouth in the middle of a sentence and realized that she’d just become one of those people she’d thought so inefficient and annoying yesterday.

The talk was interesting, and Arrabis listened in total concentration, never making any whispered comments as Seven saw many other attendees doing. She appreciated the consideration, since she herself preferred to focus on the speaker and not the people around her. However, once the talk ended Arrabis had plenty to say, all of it relevant and much of it demonstrating her brilliant grasp of the topic.

By coincidence Arrabis had chosen the same talk as Seven for the fourth session, and afterward asked Seven to lunch.

“I promised to meet B’Elanna for lunch,” said Seven with some regret. Arrabis had behaved impeccably and Seven really did want to speak with her further. But she would not go back on her word.

“Then perhaps tomorrow?”

Seven nodded. “I would enjoy that.”

They made plans for the next day, and after a polite farewell Seven walked to the restaurant she and B’Elanna had agreed to try.

B’Elanna was, predictably, appalled at her news. “Seven, you can’t be serious. She’s pursuing you! Did you tell her you’re taken?”

“She did not speak one word off the topic of the sessions we attended together, and no, I didn’t tell her I was ‘taken’ since nothing remotely close to the subject ever came up.”

A muscle jumped in B’Elanna’s jaw and Seven wondered if she were grinding her teeth.

“Have you told Revi about her?”

“Of course!” Seven was astonished. How could she not have told Revi about something that interested her so greatly? They shared everything.

“Good. Don’t be surprised if she invites herself to your lunch tomorrow.”

“Revi is not a jealous Klingon,” said Seven pointedly. “She will no doubt tell me to enjoy myself.”

That shut B’Elanna up, and after a stiff silence Seven began speaking of the talks she’d attended that morning. Eventually B’Elanna came out of her irritable mood and shared what she’d learned, at which point the lunch became far more enjoyable. By the time they settled their bill, there was no indication of the initial strain, and Seven concluded that perhaps it would be wisest to keep any further interactions with Arrabis to herself. Mentioning them to B’Elanna only disrupted their time together.

They walked back to the conference center and split up for the fifth session. Seven half-hoped she might glimpse Arrabis in the audience, but the tall Anduvian was nowhere to be seen.

The rest of the day passed quickly, and this time Revi was waiting for her when she returned to their room. She was wearing a hotel robe and nothing else, and the emotions coming down their link were unmistakable. Seven gladly shed her own clothes, untied Revi’s robe and began the explorations that she could never tire of.

: You must have had a good day. :

: I had a great day, darling. There’s a garden on the west side of the city that defies description. I want to take you there. :

: Then we will go tonight. :

Revi rolled them over and looked down at her.  : I love you. :

: I know. :  Seven smiled at the expression on the face she loved so well. : I love you too. :

Their lovemaking was slow, delicate, almost worshipful. Since the night Seven had learned to achieve the bonding through meditation, she had acquired a far greater control over her sexual needs. Knowing that there was another, even better way to bond gave her a previously unthinkable ability to draw out their pleasure, and she put that skill to good use. When the moment finally came, it was bright and sharp and of a sufficient duration to be physically debilitating.

It was perfection.

Eventually she and Revi untangled their limbs and relaxed, recovering their normal respiration.

“B’Elanna was wrong about your lunch tomorrow,” said Revi. “I have no intention of inviting myself. I think this is a wonderful experience for you, and I wouldn’t be able to take part in your conversation anyway. You two are talking way over my head.”

Seven should have known that was where she would go during the bonding. “I don’t understand why B’Elanna is so concerned,” she said. “She seems to feel that, should Arrabis make a romantic overture, I would be unable to properly respond.”

“I think she’s just worried about you as a friend, Seven. She’s the one who helped you in your dating training, so it’s natural that she’d feel a sense of responsibility. And this is the first time you’ve been actively pursued by another individual. I sure as hell didn’t pursue you; I was too busy running in the opposite direction.”

Seven enjoyed the mental image that comment inspired and playfully shared it with Revi. But then she grew thoughtful. “B’Elanna’s assistance in my training was largely restricted to holoprogramming. Lynne was the one who actually aided me during the dates. And I do not believe that Arrabis is actively pursuing me, Revi. We scheduled a lunch date and spoke of containment fields and warp bubble enhancement theories. There was nothing romantic about it.”

Revi turned her head and looked at her seriously. “Seven, please listen to me. I have more experience in this than you do. Arrabis is pursuing you; she’s just very adept at it. When her overtures of yesterday had no effect, she changed her strategy. I suspect she’ll make a move at your lunch tomorrow—she knows she only has three days left.”

“Three days left for what?” asked Seven, suddenly feeling irritable. “You speak as if she has but a single goal. I can assure you she is not attempting to ‘get into my pants.’”

Revi let out a snort of laughter, which only served to irritate Seven more. “Where did you hear that one?”

“From Tom. He was discussing Lieutenant Kim and Tal Celes.”

“Oh, I think those two are long past the point of having to work at getting in each others’ pants.” Revi reached out to take Seven’s hand in her own. : I’m sorry, darling, I don’t mean to upset you. If it helps, I’ll tune out your frequency during your lunch tomorrow. I trust you. :

: I never once believed otherwise. But I accept your offer. I’m tired of people interfering in my social development. Has it not occurred to you or B’Elanna that perhaps I do not require your assistance? :

Revi was startled, then dismayed, and Seven immediately felt guilty.

: Now I’m the one who’s sorry. I know you’re doing what you think is best, Revi. But I’m feeling— :  Seven paused, unable to articulate what she felt, and instead simply projected the emotion to Revi for her interpretation.

“You’re feeling stifled,” said Revi slowly. “You want to pursue this friendship with Arrabis just to prove that you can; that you don’t need any help.”

Seven nodded.

Revi stood up and put on her robe. “Then far be it from me to interfere. I never want you to feel smothered or controlled, Seven. And you’re right, you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself.”

Seven scrambled off the bed and stopped her before she could move any further. “You’re hurt,” she said wonderingly. “Why? I don’t understand.”

“I’m not hurt,” snapped Revi.

“Revi! Now you’re not being truthful.” Seven was growing alarmed. This was not like Revi at all.

Revi sighed, looking toward the ceiling as if help could be found there. “Seven…” She gave up and spoke directly to Seven’s mind.

: You’re the only thing in my life that’s right. The only thing. And yet, as good as you are for me, I think I’m limiting you. This was probably inevitable. :

: That is not true! : Seven could see it coming; she knew Revi had been waiting for something to go wrong from the moment they had become partners. : You are not limiting me, nor am I the only thing in your life that’s right. But we’ve had this argument many times before, and I’m beginning to feel that I will never convince you. :

: Seven. Go on your lunch date. I think you need to. :

Seven knew Revi was feeling conflicted; she honestly wanted Seven to have a pleasant time with Arrabis, and she was simultaneously afraid of that very thing.

: Why would you fear my enjoyment of Arrabis’ company? :

Abruptly, Revi’s emotional blocks went up. Seven gaped at her—they hadn’t hidden their emotions from each other since the day they’d first made love. “Why are you blocking me?” she asked, her voice catching. Suddenly she felt physically uncomfortable.

“Because I think you’re right, Seven. You need to do this on your own, and I need to back out of it.”

“Out of the situation, yes, but not out of our relationship! Revi, I have no romantic attraction to her. You know that.”

Revi gave her a sad smile. “Yes, I do. And I also know that could change in a heartbeat. You’re very attracted to her mind, and she—well, she has impeccable taste. I’m just giving you some room, Seven.”

Not being able to sense Revi’s emotions was extremely unsettling for Seven. She had no idea how this had even begun, much less how to stop it. The situation was spiraling out of her control, Revi was pulling away from her, and in her fear she reverted to her natural defense. Her own blocks went up and she addressed Revi in a cool tone.

“If you wished to push me into the arms of another you could hardly be more efficient. I will enjoy my lunch with Arrabis tomorrow, and when I return I will share every memory with you. Perhaps then you will understand that perceptions should not be confused with reality.”

She walked into the bathroom and closed the door, preferring to shower in private. Of course, with an interlink privacy was a relative thing.

: Seven, I’m sorry. :

: I do not wish to discuss it further, Revi. :

: Then we won’t discuss it. But will you accept my apology? :

: Yes. :  But the apology didn’t help; Seven would have vastly preferred a reversal of Revi’s position. At this point she wished Revi had lived up to B’Elanna’s expectations, playing the part of a jealous lover and inviting herself to the lunch. It would have been better than this total withdrawal.

: In that case, can I come in? :

Seven almost responded to the plea that she could hear in the thought, but then her heart hardened. : Not until you drop your blocks. They have no place between us. :

: I can’t. :

: Have you suddenly lost control over them? :

: That’s not what I meant. :

: I’m aware of that. :  Seven could play the game of withdrawal as well.  : If you make yourself emotionally unavailable to me, why should I be physically available to you? I prefer to complete my shower alone. :

Revi directed no further thoughts to her, but Seven knew the moment that she walked out the door. It was the last thing she sensed before Revi tuned out her frequency, plunging Seven’s mind into an abrupt silence. Shocked, she leaned against the shower wall for support.

: Revi, why? :

There was no answer, nor did she expect one.

 

 

-----

 

 

“Where’s Revi?” asked B’Elanna as Seven took her seat. They’d chosen a restaurant several blocks from the hotel on the basis of a local’s recommendation. Seven had put off leaving until the last possible moment, hoping that Revi would reopen their link. Finally she’d left a note in their room, reminding Revi of the agreed-upon location, and set out alone.

“She decided to go to the Brinell Garden. She may not return in time for our meal,” said Seven.

B’Elanna gave her a knowing look. “I take it she wasn’t thrilled by your lunch tomorrow?”

“On the contrary,” said Seven coolly, “she told me to go and expressed her hope that I enjoy myself.” This was only half true, but Seven didn’t see any reason to share the other half. “Did Muktok win the race?” she asked Tom, referring to a local hero whose name was emblazoned across the windows of half the city’s residential establishments.

As she’d hoped, Tom immediately launched into an enthusiastic recounting of the day’s races, and it required very little effort to nudge him into talking for the entire meal. Afterward he and B’Elanna returned to the race course for an evening event, to Seven’s immense relief. She nearly ran back to their quarters, feeling an increasing sense of panic at their lack of contact. If Revi wasn’t there, she would proceed to the Brinell Garden. The decision to go there was the last thing she’d heard on Revi’s mind before their link terminated.

As soon as she entered their room she felt all of her muscles relax simultaneously. Revi was there, regenerating. Seven walked to the side of the bed and stood over her partner, watching her with an aching heart. She was lying on her stomach, the cable from the portable regeneration unit attached to the implant on her back. Seven sat beside her and stroked her hair, knowing that even if Revi couldn’t hear her, at least she would sense her presence.

“Cutting yourself off from me is inefficient and ultimately futile,” she said softly. “I will not allow you to surrender to your fears.” She wondered if perhaps it might be best to cancel her lunch with Arrabis and thus eliminate the catalyst for their estrangement, but after careful consideration determined that the best course of action was to continue as planned. Until she could prove to Revi that she was capable of enjoying the company of another without posing a threat to their relationship, Revi would continue to harbor this fear. It was simply something they had to work through.

 

 

-----

 

 

Revi had set the regeneration unit for a long enough cycle to guarantee that she would not be awake when Seven left the next morning. Seven quietly prepared herself for the day, glancing at the bed every few minutes just to assure herself that Revi was still there. It was inefficient and illogical, but she couldn’t help herself. Without their interlink, a visual confirmation was her only proof.

She met B’Elanna and Tom for breakfast and explained that Revi was regenerating. B’Elanna seemed to accept the explanation and asked no questions, for which Seven was grateful. She honestly had no answers at this point in time. Her primary goal for the day was simply to get through the hours until she could convince Revi to reestablish their link, after which she would share the images of her lunch with Arrabis and eliminate Revi’s concern. Tonight could not come soon enough.

Despite her concerns, the topics of the morning’s talks were of sufficient interest to elevate her mood considerably, and by the time she walked to the restaurant Arrabis had suggested, she was feeling almost buoyant. One of the talks in particular had presented some concepts that intrigued her greatly, and she was looking forward very much to exploring them in greater detail on Voyager.

She entered the restaurant and looked around, immediately spotting Arrabis. The Anduvian was standing at a corner table, looking at her with a smile. Seven made her way through the tables crowding the room and held out her hand. “Arrabis, it’s good to see you again. Thank you for the invitation.”

Arrabis took her hand and brought it up for a gentle kiss, as she had the day they’d met. “It’s wonderful to see you,” she murmured, her lips just above Seven’s knuckles. Inexplicably, Seven felt a small thrill run down her spine. She firmly reclaimed her hand and took a seat.

“Is this the standard Anduvian gesture of greeting?” she asked.

Arrabis sat down gracefully, an unrepentant smile on her face. “No,” she said. “It’s reserved only for those we find beautiful beyond compare.”

Seven raised her eyebrow. “This is a change of tone, and topic, from yesterday.”

“Yesterday we were part of an audience at a formal presentation. Today we are two friends meeting over lunch.”

“Perhaps your customs are different,” said Seven, “but among my race I can think of no ‘friends’ who would call me beautiful beyond compare. That is a term I would expect to hear only from my partner.”

“Is this partner a hypothetical one?”

“Her name is Revi Sandovhar, and she’s visiting the city with me.”

“I see.” Arrabis seemed entirely unaffected by this news. “Yet you wear no mark of commitment.”

Seven was taken aback. “We have not exchanged physical symbols of our commitment, but I don’t consider that a requirement for proving the truth and longevity of my emotions.”

Shaking her head, Arrabis said, “I must disagree. If you do not feel strongly enough to wear a mark plainly advertising your status, then you are not committed.”

“In your culture, perhaps. Not in mine.” But Seven was troubled. Kathryn and Lynne wore rings. So did B’Elanna and Tom. All four had worn them before their official bonding ceremonies, as an indicator of their future intentions. She and Revi had declared their love to each other, and their status as partners was well known among the crew—but Revi had not offered her a ring. Until this moment, the omission had never come to her attention. Now she wondered why Revi had not taken this step. Suddenly she recalled her conversation with Kathryn, the day of the captain’s wedding, when Kathryn had expressed satisfaction that Lynne was “off the market.”

Were you concerned about competition for her love? Seven had asked. Kathryn had shaken her head. Not from anyone on Voyager. But who knows what will happen in the years to come? I just feel more secure having staked my claim, so to speak. Lynne belongs to me now, and I belong to her.

Everyone on Voyager knew she and Revi were partners. But off the ship, no one knew, and she had no symbol of their commitment. Did Revi not want to “stake her claim”? She desperately wanted to ask Revi, but the one person she needed to communicate with was not available to her. Her mind remained silent.

“Then how do you demonstrate bonding status in your culture?” asked Arrabis. “If there is no physical symbol, how do others know?”

Trapped, Seven was forced to admit the truth. “We do wear physical symbols. A ring on the third finger of either the left or right hand, depending on the culture. But such a symbol is not always utilized nor required.”

“Under what circumstances would it not be utilized or required?” Arrabis’ tone indicated general interest, but Seven’s instincts regarding social interactions had improved.

“I do not wish to play verbal games, Arrabis. I’m here because I have very much enjoyed and appreciated our prior conversations, and I would like to continue in the same vein. But I’m not available for anything more…personal, and this conversation is too personal for my preference.”

Arrabis reached out and took Seven’s right hand—the fully human one—in her own. Gently she caressed it, separating Seven’s third finger from the rest and carefully running her long, slender fingers over it. Seven watched, intrigued in spite of herself. No one but Revi had ever touched her in a similar manner, and she couldn’t help but make a comparison. Shouldn’t she find the touch of another repulsive? Or at least be entirely unaffected by it? But she found it…pleasant. Even a little enticing. It was just different enough from Revi’s touch to be fascinating.

“In my culture,” said Arrabis, still caressing Seven’s hand, “we wear a cuff on the right ear. I’ve never had one. But then I’ve never met anyone like you. Your mind is a counterpart to my own, Seven. I’ve never felt such pleasure in the company of another as I feel with you.”

Gently she set Seven’s hand back on the table, sat back and picked up the small electronic listing of food items. “The askosh here is very good.”

Seven felt a bit unbalanced at the sudden shift in tone. She picked up her own listing, quickly scanned it and selected her preference. Arrabis then asked her about the talks she’d attended that morning, and for the next hour they discussed the conference. It was as if the first five minutes had never happened, and soon Seven forgot her wariness. This was the conversation she had expected, and she reveled in their exchange of ideas and mutual experiences. It was so…liberating to let her mind go where it would, down any corridor of theory, and know that her companion could follow. B’Elanna and Kathryn were both brilliant engineers, but even they could not easily keep up with a conversation of this speed and depth. Seven was thoroughly enjoying herself.

Arrabis began describing an experiment that she was currently conducting at her research center. It had proceeded as predicted until just recently, when an unplanned reaction had occurred. She’d had to shut the experiment down while she retraced her steps and examined the data for the error, but she hadn’t found it yet.

“I wonder,” she said, setting her fork onto her empty plate, “if perhaps a new set of eyes might help. Would you be interested in looking over my data?”

“I would greatly enjoy that,” said Seven, for whom the puzzle presented an almost irresistible pull. She thought, based on Arrabis’ explanation, that she might know exactly what to look for. “But I don’t see how it would be possible. The next session starts in thirteen minutes, and I have a dinner engagement afterward. I am similarly scheduled for the next two days, and we leave immediately after the conference ends.”

“Skip the afternoon sessions,” Arrabis suggested.

Seven opened her mouth to say that she could not, but then closed it again. Why couldn’t she? Nothing she’d seen in the afternoon topics appeared nearly as interesting as Arrabis’ mystery.

She put her own fork down. “I accept your invitation. Shall we go?”

The broad smile on Arrabis’ face was her answer.

 

 

-----

 

 

The research center was a short ride away by public transport, and within fifteen minutes the two women were standing in front of a tall building with enormous transparent doors. Arrabis walked to a console to the right of the entry and held her palm against a screen. “Morros,” she said.

A green light blinked on over the door, and Seven heard the sound of a lock deactivating. The door slid open silently.

“Welcome to my home,” said Arrabis, leading the way in. Seven followed her, looking with interest at the high ceilings, the abundant skylights and windows, and the architecture that seemed to reflect the tall, slender Anduvian body structure.

“You live here as well?”

“Yes. The top floor is set aside for the First Chair’s housing. It’s one of the advantages of my position.”

They crossed the entry space and entered a lift with clear sides. “Level six,” said Arrabis. Seven watched as floor after floor flashed by, some holding workspaces, others lab spaces, until they came to a floor full of equipment that could only be for one purpose. Seven felt a keen longing as they stepped out; how she would love to have this at her disposal! The laboratory space was state-of-the-art and extremely efficient. It appeared that resources were not a problem for Arrabis’ research center.

“And all of this is yours to utilize as you see fit?” she asked in some wonder.

“I’m the First Chair. I decide which projects get lab time.” Arrabis smiled at her. “You look like a small child in front of a porsa stall.”

“I don’t recognize that term.”

“Porsa is an Anduvian delicacy. Very sweet and sticky. Mothers tend to use it to bribe their children into behaving properly.”

“Ah. The Terran equivalent would be chocolate. And I feel much like a child in front of a porsa stall. I would give much to have a laboratory like this to use for whatever purposes I chose.”

Arrabis gave her a measuring look, then turned without speaking and led the way down a corridor to a spacious office in the corner. Its transparent walls revealed a desk, a computer terminal and stacks of the same type of Anduvian datapads Seven had seen at the conference. The outer walls were also transparent, making the room seem much larger than was physically possible.

“I’ve spent many sleepless nights here, going over the results,” said Arrabis. She stood next to the desk and placed her hand on top of a stack of datapads. “And I know myself well enough to know that I’ve reached a point of diminishing returns. There’s something I’m not seeing, and the harder I try the more it escapes me.”

Seven reached out and pulled the top datapad from under her hand. She accessed the files, frowned, then held it out to Arrabis. “I believe the problem may lie in the pulsed nadion bombardment. Where is that data?”

Arrabis took the datapad from her, tossed it on the desk, and pulled another out from midway down the stack. She accessed the files, shook her head and tossed it as well. After two more attempts she smiled and handed a datapad to Seven.

“You’re so efficient in every other way,” said Seven, looking at the disarrayed stack and the four datapads lying haphazardly on the desk.

“Total efficiency isn’t natural, Seven. Everything in the universe tends toward chaos.”

Seven smiled. “Not everything.” She accessed the files and quickly found the one most likely to hold the data she was looking for.

“Would you like something to drink while you look through that?”

Seven had already sunk into the numbers, and it was somewhat jarring to pull herself out. She looked up into knowing eyes.

“Water would be nice,” she said. Arrabis nodded and indicated the chair behind the desk.

“Please be comfortable. I’ll get your water.”

Seven hardly noticed her departure; she was already back in the data, establishing the rhythm of the experiment and building her understanding of the whole picture. Once she had created the picture in her mind, she could pinpoint which part of it held the missing piece. It was a familiar activity and one that always filled her with a fierce sort of joy. Revi had called it “the thrill of the hunt,” and when Seven heard that she’d realized how well Revi understood. They were both scientists, and though they worked different fields, some things were constant. Chasing down sensor ghosts, locating errant pieces of data, finding the one reaction that changed everything—these were true pleasures for them. Arrabis found that same joy in her studies; Seven had seen that when she’d looked into her eyes.

Arrabis returned, quietly set a glass of water in front of Seven and took a seat on a couch across the office. She picked up a datapad from the low table in front of it, leaned back and began her own work. Not a word passed between them for nearly three hours.

Seven was running through a secondary set of calculations when her internal chronometer alerted her that it was time to return. She looked at the numbers on her screen in some dismay; she was so close to finding the answer that she could almost see it floating in front of her. If she just had one more hour…

She wanted to ask Revi if she wouldn’t mind a later dinner, but her partner was still stubbornly tuning her out, despite the fact that it was well past the lunch date. They’d agreed to sever their link for one Anduvian hour, but it had now been twenty-two. For the last three hours Seven had managed to sink deeply enough into the data that her awareness of their mental silence had diminished, but now it was back in full force. Revi had abandoned her. She had not listened; she had seen only her own fears and so she had cut Seven off from the comfort and intimacy that only she could provide. Worse, she had broken her promise. Seven remembered Revi’s words of assurance, spoken minutes after the first time they’d made love. I understand how much you need to belong, Revi had said; how much you need our connection. It will always be there, Seven. But it wasn’t there now.

Seven raised her head to watch Arrabis. The Anduvian hadn’t moved except to exchange one datapad for another. An untidy pile of them now spilled over next to her feet, which were propped up on the table. She was entirely absorbed in her work, asking nothing of Seven and needing nothing from her.

Seven sat back and studied her friend. She couldn’t help but draw comparisons between her and Revi. Arrabis seemed completely confident, both professionally and personally, while Revi’s confidence sometimes faltered when she left sickbay. Arrabis’ presence was undemanding, but Revi often needed assurances that, until recently, Seven had thought she’d never tire of giving. Now she wondered if she’d been mistaken. It was so…relaxing to be here in this office, surrounded by data and a kind of intellectual stimulation that fed her love of learning. She didn’t want to leave. She was comfortable in this safe environment, where no emotional needs were pulling at her, demanding things from her, or causing her pain. Arrabis had neither made nor broken any promises.

“Arrabis,” she said, “may I use your vidcom unit?”

Arrabis looked up, smiled, and dropped her datapad on the couch as she unfolded her legs to stand up. “Of course,” she said. She walked around the desk to join Seven, tapping a key inlaid in the desk’s surface. A vidcom unit rose up out of the desk.

“Are you calling your hotel?” she asked. Seven nodded. “Then just speak its name and the vidcom will connect. I’ll be outside.”

“Thank you.” Seven called the hotel and automatically transferred to her room. Revi wasn’t there, so she left a message telling her that she would be late for dinner and anticipated a return in two more hours.

When Arrabis returned Seven was already back in her calculations, pursuing a pathway that looked particularly promising.

“Do you need to return?” asked Arrabis. “The conference will be ending soon.”

Seven looked up. “No. I called Revi to delay our dinner for two hours. I believe I will have your answer by then.”

“Whether you have an answer or not, it has been my great pleasure to share this afternoon with you,” said Arrabis, leaning on the desk. “I have never felt so relaxed around another individual.”

Seven looked up at her, knowing that she should discourage this line of conversation but no longer having the desire to do so. Revi had broken her promise.

“I also feel very comfortable with you,” she said. “You are unique, Arrabis, and I truly wish our time together were not so limited.”

Arrabis stared at her, then reached out and gently touched Seven’s optical implant. “You are the unique one. Seven, I’ve tried to respect your claim to commitment, but by my culture’s standards the evidence just isn’t there. Nor by yours, from what you said at the restaurant. I would be a fool to let you go without at least making my feelings known.” She lowered her hand. “Does she know what she has? Does she appreciate you as I would?” She rose, came around the desk, and dropped to her knees beside Seven. “I know what a treasure you are, Seven. Let me show you.”

Seven looked at her, wondering why her answer was not an immediate no. Even a few hours earlier she would have stopped Arrabis before she’d gotten this far, but her disappointment with and rising anger toward Revi was clouding her certainty. Did Revi know what their relationship was worth? A day ago she would have sworn the answer was yes. Now she was less sure. B’Elanna had indicated that Revi should be fighting for her, but instead her lover had “given her room” and terminated their link. The weight of the decision was entirely on Seven’s shoulders; she had no assistance from the one woman who should have been there for her.

“How would you show me?” she asked finally.

Arrabis’ eyes lit up. “If you were Anduvian I would have a ready answer,” she said, smiling. “But you, I think, require more research.” She leaned forward, her intent clear, and after a moment’s hesitation Seven met her halfway.

The kiss was pleasant and even mildly arousing; Arrabis certainly knew the physics of this particular activity. But Seven missed the duality of her link with Revi. She had no idea what Arrabis was feeling, and the lack of a mental connection reduced the intimacy by a significant degree. It was simply…physical.

When they parted, Arrabis searched her eyes. “Stay with me,” she said softly. “I would give you everything I am.” She gestured toward the lab and added, “Think of what we could do together, here. I would share my Chair with you. We would be unstoppable.”

Seven was surprised. Both Revi and B’Elanna had characterized Arrabis as a “player,” but she saw no signs of it in these words. Arrabis was offering her a place at her side not only romantically, but as a co-chair of the research center. She looked out toward the lab, imagining having such a resource at her disposal—and sharing the adventure of discovery with a mind such as Arrabis’. It was tempting.

But not tempting enough. Had she never known Revi, the promise of such intellectual stimulation—and the freedom to fulfill it in whatever way she saw fit—might have been sufficient to keep her here. But intellectual stimulation was no longer her only goal. Revi had introduced her to a world of emotions she had never known before, and that emotional connection had become as necessary to her well-being as oxygen and her nanoprobes. Yet the single kiss she had shared with Arrabis had been entirely bereft of that intimacy. It wasn’t enough. Perhaps that connection might come with time, but it would never have the same depth as an interlink.

She wanted Revi. Now more than ever.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “You make a very tempting offer, Arrabis, but I won’t betray my partner.”

Arrabis ran her long fingers over Seven’s shoulders and down her arms, ending by holding her hands loosely. She looked up.

“Sometimes it’s necessary to betray another in order to be true to yourself,” she said.

Seven shook her head. “I don’t accept that. Staying with Revi is being true to myself. Our relationship may be imperfect, but with her I am closer to perfection than I ever was alone, or ever could be with anyone else.”

Arrabis nodded slowly. “I’m not surprised, though I admit to being disappointed. The universe has a true sense of the ironic, does it not? For the first time in my life my soul reaches out for another, and your soul is committed elsewhere.” She released Seven’s hands and stood up. “I only hope that Revi understands her good fortune.”

Seven had no answer. She honestly didn’t know. “Will we remain friends?” she asked.

“You mean for the next two days before you leave my life forever?” Arrabis’ smile reminded Seven of the expression Kathryn used when she was attempting to disguise her true emotions. “Of course. Do you think that perhaps you might spend those days with me, rather than attending the conference? There is so much I would like to show you. You should not leave here without seeing more of my home than the conference hall, the hotel, and a few restaurants.”

“And your research center,” added Seven.

“And that,” Arrabis agreed. “Though you have not even seen all of this.”

Seven considered her options. Ostensibly she and B’Elanna had been sent here to attend the conference, but Kathryn had made it clear that, to her at least, the true purpose was to improve Revi’s mental state. That certainly had not resolved itself according to plan. So did that render her attendance at the conference more or less important?

“I would like to spend that time with you,” she said. “But first I need to speak with Revi.”

“Then I’ll never see you again,” said Arrabis.

“Do not overestimate the control that she or anyone else has over my decisions,” said Seven sharply. “I am my own person.”

Arrabis stared for a moment, then smiled. “You certainly are.” She indicated the lab. “Would you like that tour, then?”

“I would,” said Seven, “after I find your solution. It’s too close for me to abandon the search now.”

“You realize,” said Arrabis, “that if you do find that answer you’re going to make this even more difficult for me.”

Seven raised an eyebrow. “Please explain.”

“I already think you’re a treasure. Find that answer and I’ll think you’re the treasure of all time. And I still can’t have you.”

Seven smiled, appreciating Arrabis’ humor and grace in the situation. “You have me for now.”

Arrabis went back to her couch, putting her feet back up on the table, and Seven resumed her search. They passed another forty-two minutes in silence, and then Seven rose from her chair and went to stand in front of Arrabis.

“I would like that tour now,” she said, holding out the datapad.

Arrabis looked up, stunned. “You didn’t.”

“Would it not be more efficient to look for yourself than to question me?”

Slowly, Arrabis took the datapad and scanned it. She raised her eyes to Seven, astonishment clearly written on her face. “You did.” She dropped the datapad on the couch, stood up and pulled Seven into an exuberant hug, laughing. “You did! Come with me!” She kissed Seven, quickly and without heat, then grabbed the datapad and led the way into the lab. They moved around and between equipment of all sizes and shapes, finally arriving at a console that Seven recognized as a central control unit.

“We don’t have time to run a physical test before you go, but we can run a time-enhanced computer simulation,” Arrabis said, rapidly inputting commands. She checked the datapad, input a few new commands, then set the program running. She turned to Seven, her eyes alight and her face wreathed in a grin. “You’re astonishing. Are you sure you won’t stay?”

Seven could only smile at Arrabis’ enthusiasm. “I’m sure.”

Arrabis nodded. “I had to ask. And don’t be surprised if I keep asking. I can’t ignore the possibility that you might change your mind. It may be negligible, but it exists.”

They toured the facility while waiting for the simulation to run its course, and by the end of the tour Seven had confirmed her thought that Arrabis’ offer would have been nearly irresistible if she did not have pre-existing ties. It was an efficient and well-equipped lab, and she could even see the aesthetic appeal as well. Arrabis’ quarters took up the entire top floor, with enormous floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city. Datapads covered every horizontal surface; obviously Arrabis carried her chaos theory into her quarters as well.

When the tour ended they returned to the lab, where the computer simulation confirmed what Seven already knew—she had, indeed, found the answer. With a whoop of joy Arrabis hugged her once again, but this time Seven put her hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back.

“Arrabis, I must return.”

“Last chance to change your mind?”

Seven wasn’t sure if that was a statement or a question, but either way her answer was the same.

“Were I in different circumstances, Arrabis, I would give your offer very careful consideration. I truly enjoy your company, and together we could accomplish a great deal. But…” She was unsure how to finish her sentence without causing emotional pain. But you don’t make me feel the way Revi makes me feel didn’t seem to be a compassionate statement, no matter how truthful it was. And Seven was learning that sometimes, truth was less important than compassion.

“But you’re not in different circumstances,” Arrabis finished. “I understand. I’ll walk you to the door.”

“I will ask about foregoing the remainder of the conference,” said Seven as they stepped into the lift. “How will I contact you?”

“Just use your hotel’s vidcom unit and ask for me by name. It’ll connect.”

Seven nodded, and a minute later they were at the entrance to the building.

“Seven,” said Arrabis, her hand on the door, “thank you.”

“For what?”

Arrabis laughed. “For walking in here and finding, in a single afternoon, what I couldn’t find in weeks. None of my staff will believe it when I tell them.”

“You need not thank me,” said Seven. “It was my pleasure.” It was a phrase she’d learned some time ago, but in this moment it was entirely apropos.

“It was mine as well.” They smiled at each other, then Arrabis opened the door and Seven walked into the evening.

 

 

-----

 

 

Revi wasn’t in their quarters when she returned, but a note told her where to meet for dinner. Seven immediately turned and left again, finding her way without difficulty to the restaurant. She saw her lover upon entering and felt a frisson of happiness at the sight. She’d missed Revi tremendously, but somehow had not realized just how much until this moment. She was looking forward very much to reinitializing their link; not just for the comfort it would provide her, but also so that she could share the images of her day and put Revi’s fears to rest. After all, Arrabis had “made a move,” as Revi had predicted—though she knew Revi would never have expected the kind of offer Arrabis had made—and the consequence was that she now understood better than ever that Revi was the only choice for her. There could be no other.

“Thank you for delaying our dinner,” she said to the others as she pulled out a chair and sat down.

“Sure, Seven,” said B’Elanna, looking at her oddly. “Though I was a little surprised to hear that you’d skipped the whole afternoon. You missed some really good talks.”

“I’m certain you can review them for me,” said Seven. “I look forward to hearing about them.” She turned to Revi. “How was your day?”

“It was okay,” said Revi. “How was yours?”

Seven was nonplussed. Why ask when Revi need only activate their link to see for herself? Why did she wait?

“Very satisfying,” she said after a pause. “Arrabis took me on a tour through her research center, and we spent the afternoon reviewing the data from a project she’s been working on. She had described it to me at lunch, and indicated that it had not gone as expected. Based on her description I was reasonably certain that I could locate the error. We went to the center to confirm my suspicions, which were indeed correct. Arrabis ran a computer simulation, which was completed just before I departed, and the problem has been resolved.”

There was so much more to share, but she couldn’t do it here, not with B’Elanna and Tom present. So she allowed the topic to be shunted aside by Tom’s enthusiasm over the races, B’Elanna’s descriptions of the afternoon’s topics, and Revi’s few words regarding the art museums she’d visited that day. It was a difficult dinner for Seven, who wanted nothing more than to be alone with Revi. She craved their link.

At last they finished their meal and walked back together. Seven was growing more and more distressed; it was extremely difficult to be physically near Revi yet have no mental connection. By the time she and Revi entered their room she could no longer contain her emotions.

“Why?” she demanded, rounding on Revi. “Why did you sever our link for an entire day? We agreed that you would tune out my frequency for the duration of my lunch, Revi. You abandoned me.”

Revi looked at her in silence, then stepped around her and sat on their bed. She rested her hand and cybernetic arm in her lap and stared out the window.

“I went back to the Brinell Garden today,” she said quietly. “It’s the one I wanted to take you to last night. There’s a plant in the center of the garden that has the most enormous flower I’ve ever seen. Just one flower, but so huge that I could have walked inside it. Of course, they won’t let you do that, but when I was there yesterday I did put my head and shoulders inside.”

Seven walked around and knelt in front of her. Revi met her eyes.

“I was surrounded by red,” she said. “A whole world of red; it’s all I could see. And I thought, ‘Seven would love this. Red’s her favorite color, and she’s hardly ever seen flowers in her life, much less something like this.’ I was looking forward to showing it to you.”

When she didn’t seem willing to continue, Seven prompted her gently. “Then why did you not? I would have gladly gone with you.”

“Would you?” Revi asked. “You were angry with me. You wanted to be alone.”

“I wanted to shower alone,” corrected Seven. “That did not mean I wanted to be alone on a permanent basis.”

Revi didn’t respond directly, and returned her gaze to the window. “After I left last night, I went back to the garden. Back to that flower. And it was closed. So I thought, ‘Oh well, it must be a diurnal flower. I’ll come back tomorrow.’ But when I went back today, it was still closed. I found a worker in the garden and asked him about it. He said that the plant only flowers for one day in an Anduvian year.” Her eyes came back to Seven’s. “One day, Seven. I just happened to hit it right. I was lucky, and got to see it when it was open to me, but it didn’t last. It couldn’t. I could only enjoy it for the period of time that it was available. And now I have to move on.”

Seven felt a frisson of fear go down her spine. “You are using a metaphor to tell me…” She swallowed hard. “…that you’re moving on?”

Revi looked at her with eyes full of sorrow. “I got lucky with you, Seven. I found you when you were just starting to flower. But I can’t hold you. You’re too new at this. New, and impossibly beautiful and brilliant and desirable, and there’s never going to be a shortage of people who want you. You’re not ready to settle into a long-term relationship; you have too much exploring to do still, and I think that when you’re done exploring you’ll have found someone who can offer you more than I can.”

Seven’s fe