chapter 19

 

 

If Seven thought that feeling Revi going to sleep was fascinating, she now decided that it came in a distant second to feeling her wake up. It was like watching a collection of unrelated atoms spontaneously align themselves into complex molecules—complete order from complete chaos. Revi’s thoughts pulled themselves together, and Seven could actually hear the exact moment that subconscious gave way to conscious. She was propped up on one elbow, looking at her friend when Revi opened her eyes, and she enjoyed watching the waking process repeat itself physically. As Revi’s eyes cleared, her thoughts followed, from wondering why she was in her quarters and why Seven was there, to remembering the events of a few hours ago. Her emotional shields apparently did not assert themselves immediately upon waking, because Seven felt Revi’s instant humiliation when she remembered. Her eyes closed again.

: Oh, shit. That really happened, didn’t it? :

: Yes. :

: I’m surprised you’re still here after that. And how am I ever going to face Kathryn? Or Chakotay? Damn, Chakotay of all people. And the security team… this is all over the ship by now, isn’t it? :

Seven had hoped that sleep would help Revi regain her normal self confidence, but that was obviously not the case. Imitating a motion Revi had used on her earlier, she gently caressed her friend’s cheek and jaw.

Revi’s eyes flew open.

: I am here because I made you a promise, and more importantly because I wish to be. What occurred a few hours ago has no bearing on who you are as a person, and in no way changes my high opinion of you. Nor will it alter Kathryn’s opinion. She contacted me while you were asleep. She is very concerned about you, and said that if you needed anything at all, including a friend, you are to ask her. :

: Really? :

Revi’s doubt was actually painful to Seven. : Yes, really. She also said not to ‘get any ideas’ about this event impacting your position as CMO. This should not surprise you, Revi. You’ve made friends on Voyager, people who care about you. We will not turn our backs on you because you are not perfect. :

Revi’s snort startled Seven, but she was relieved to see the small smile on her friend’s face. And although it was nice to sense Revi’s emotions, the fact that she could no longer do so meant that Revi was recovering.

“That must have taken you a while to learn, Ms. Perfection.”

Seven returned the smile. “It did. And you know it’s still hard for me to accept anything less than perfection from myself. So you must also know that I understand some of what you are feeling right now.”

Revi reached up to touch Seven’s face, her expression wistful. “You’re not very far from perfection, Seven. It’s difficult for me to imagine you being able to understand this.”

“Then I can see I must remind you of my own mental breakdown.”

“What?”

“Do you not remember? I told you of the time that I attempted to download too much information into my cortical processor and overloaded it.”

“Yes, but you never said anything about a breakdown. And I haven’t seen that in your mind.”

“I became extremely paranoid, Revi. I turned against my friends and shipmates. It’s not a memory I maintain at the forefront of my mind; you’ll have to look deeper to find it. But I believe you should see it in its entirety.”

Seven closed her eyes and concentrated on a memory she had buried. Her breakdown had been deeply humiliating to her, and it had taken some time for her to realize that none of her friends thought any less of her for it. She hoped that by sharing this experience, she could help Revi to see that the events of today need not affect her reputation on Voyager.

The memories exploded across her brain, and she knew that Revi was pulling them out. She waited, wincing at a few of the scenes. But then came the moment when Kathryn talked her down on the Delta Flyer, making a very personal plea, and she smiled. Perhaps she shouldn’t keep this particular event buried in her mind; it did contain one very special memory.

The scenes faded and she opened her eyes. Revi had a stunned look on her face. “Seven, you were ready to kill yourself.”

“I was convinced that the one person I truly trusted and cared for was sending me to the Alpha Quadrant for dissection and destruction. Death at my own hand, and in the process of destroying the captain’s plan, seemed a far better alternative.”

Revi nodded. “Yes, I can see that. And I can also see that your relationship with Kathryn was extraordinary even then.”

“It was, and it is,” agreed Seven. “But no more extraordinary than my relationship with you.”

That left Revi speechless.

“So you can see,” continued Seven, “your breakdown was actually quite minor in comparison to mine. I sabotaged Voyager’s targeting scanners and several computer programs, stole a shuttle, and was preparing to destroy technology that would reduce our journey by three years. All you did was strike Commander Chakotay, who undoubtedly deserved it, intimidate some security officers and tear apart one alcove. I believe that in terms of ‘bragging rights,’ I have a distinct advantage.”

Revi laughed. “I believe you do at that. Thank you, Seven. That really helps.”

Seven was thrilled to have elicited a laugh. “I’m very pleased to hear that. You know that I will assist you in any way I can.”

“I do know that,” said Revi. “Better now than I did at the start of my shift today.” She patted her stomach. “But before we discuss anything else even remotely heavy, can we take a food break? I’m starved.”

Seven rose from the bed and reached for her boots, but Revi stopped her. “You’re not going anywhere, are you?”

“No.”

“Then leave the boots off. Make yourself comfortable.”

Seven, who was accustomed to wearing shoes at all times, wondered how comfortable she would be without them.

“Trust me,” said Revi. “You’ll get used to it, and then you’ll start looking forward to the end of your shift because it means you can take your boots off. Human feet weren’t meant to be trapped. There are twenty muscles and one hundred ligaments in each of your feet, and they don’t get properly exercised or stretched inside shoes.”

Seven watched, pleased, as Revi picked up her boots, put them in the closet, and ran her jacket through the recycler. If Revi was tidying up and reverting to Doctor-speak, then her mental and physical health had improved. Revi turned to her and smiled.

: Yeah, I’m feeling better. Thanks to you. :

They moved into the living quarters, where Revi pointed Seven toward a chair and went over to the replicator. “Can I get you anything? I’m personally craving a big bowl of curry.”

“I will have a small bowl of that, please, but with the spices reduced by seventy-five percent.” Seven well remembered the last time she had tried some of Revi’s curry. She was convinced that the concoction had removed the top layer of cells from her tongue.

“Your European heritage is showing through, you weakling,” teased Revi. “Tell you what, I’ll bring you milk with your meal. If it’s too hot, the milk will neutralize the burn.” She returned to the table with a tray holding two bowls of curry over rice, two glasses of water and one of milk. As she set out the food and drink, she added, “If you’re going to spend any kind of time with me, you’ll have to start eating the real stuff. Without milk. I don’t socialize with anyone who can’t. It’s my personal litmus test.”

She raised her glass to Seven, drank, and then dug into her bowl of curry. Closing her eyes at the first taste, she exhaled happily. “Oh, yeah. I’m good now.”

Seven tasted her curry cautiously, found it acceptable, and began eating with more enthusiasm. One thing about their mental connection, it allowed conversation to continue whether one’s mouth was full or not. She sent out a thought.

: I do wish, very much, to spend more time with you. But not even that could induce me to voluntarily participate in the chemical removal of my mouth lining. :

Revi had been in the process of lifting a forkful to her mouth, but at that she dropped the fork back in her bowl, leaned her head back and laughed.

: Hey, you’re talking about my comfort food. : Revi’s mental voice reflected her laughter.

: You find it comforting to consume caustic substances? :

: Yeah, I guess so, if that’s how you want to put it. Makes me feel warm inside, you know? :

: What you call warm I call volcanic. :

Revi snorted again. : Well, it takes all kinds to make a universe. :

: I have heard Kathryn say that. And I have heard Lynne say “whatever floats your boat.” If burning off your epithelial cells floats your boat, I can only accept it as a fascinating but very odd quirk of your nature. :

Revi grinned and raised her glass again. : To odd quirks, then. I’ve heard that boat phrase recently, but not from Lynne. :

Seven nodded. : It has been an interesting linguistic study, watching twenty-first century idioms make their way around the ship. :

: Why do you think they’re catching on? :

: I believe it’s due to the fact that Lynne’s circle of friends includes most of the senior staff, and her wife is the captain. The people she is closest to are the most influential on the ship. If they assimilate her idioms, the other crewmembers are more likely to repeat them. :

: Interesting use of the word “assimilate,” Seven. :

Seven looked sharply at Revi, hoping she hadn’t made a misstep. But Revi showed no signs of distress, and they spent the rest of their meal sharing thoughts on various topics, always steering clear of the biggest topic of all. Seven knew that she had to let Revi set the pace for that conversation.

After their meal, Revi took their dishes to the replicator and recycled them, then returned with two steaming mugs.

Seven accepted her mug and inhaled the sweet, spicy smell emanating from it. : What is this? :

: Chai tea. It’s a traditional drink in my family. Since we can’t drink synthehol, this makes a nice after dinner substitute. :

Seven sipped the drink and enjoyed the sensations that washed over her tongue. : It tastes like it smells. :

: Glad you like it. :

They moved to the couch and sat in mental silence, sipping their drinks. Seven had exhausted her capacity for communicating around the unmentionable topic, and was now waiting for Revi to take the conversational lead.

Revi, for her part, was gazing into her mug as if the solution to the origin of the universe could be found there. Eventually she looked up and sighed.

“I can’t put this off any longer, can I?”

“Certainly you can,” said Seven. “But it would be inefficient. This issue will not resolve itself.”

“Inefficient,” repeated Revi with a slight grimace. “Yeah, I guess I have been. Well, thank you for giving me the space to think about this a bit before dealing with it.”

“You’re welcome,” said Seven. She put her mug down, turned to face Revi directly and waited.

Revi looked at Seven’s expectant stance and shook her head, smiling slightly. “Guess the waiting period is over, then.” She put her own mug down and turned as well, wrapping her arms around herself in an unconsciously defensive gesture. “Okay. First off, I owe you an explanation. I can tell you’ve been thinking while I was asleep, and you’ve obviously figured out why I wasn’t sharing my emotions with you.”

“You did not wish me to know that you possessed romantic feelings for me.”

Revi winced slightly. “Yes and no. You already knew I had some romantic feelings when I let you in that time on the holodeck. During our first date. What I didn’t want you to know was how much those feelings had grown.”

“Clarify, please.”

Revi picked up her mug and took a sip, in what Seven thought was clearly a stalling tactic. No sooner had the thought formed in her mind than she saw Revi’s lips curve in a smile as they touched the rim.

: Guilty as charged. : But when Revi put the mug down again, her mind and expression were very sober. : This is just a little hard for me, Seven. I don’t want to say the wrong thing, and I don’t want you to get mad at me again. :

The reminder of her untimely outburst instantly filled Seven with remorse. : I am very sorry about that. My words were ill chosen and inappropriate, and they hurt you. :

: No, they didn’t. It wasn’t your words that hurt me. It was your anger. :

Seven tilted her head, waiting for further information.

Revi wrapped her arms around herself again, leaning back against the arm of the couch. : I can’t show you how I felt, because I don’t want to go there again. But I can tell you that I have rarely in my life felt quite so defenseless as I did earlier today. That flashback stripped me bare, and any emotion at all hit me hard. Normally I can block emotions coming into my mind in much the same way that I block my own from going out. It’s something that I haven’t taught you yet—I was planning to. When you’re not blocking I’m very much aware of your emotions, but they don’t impact me directly. It’s kind of like I’m seeing them through a viewport. If I let your emotions resonate as strongly in my mind as they do in yours, it would be hard for me to function. :

She paused, and Seven nodded. : I understand. :

: Okay. So with all of my blocks completely destroyed, I couldn’t stop your anger from hitting me full force. It felt…like I was being battered. :

Seven remembered Revi’s hunched stance and her desperate cry, and her remorse turned to a white-hot shame. She could barely look at Revi. : Kathryn and Lynne said it is normal to cause pain to those we…are close to. I didn’t believe them, but I have already proven them correct. I have no excuse. :

Revi dropped her arms and moved up next to Seven, putting her human hand on Seven’s leg. : No, Seven, don’t do that to yourself. You didn’t know. And your anger was justifiable. You were quite right in what you said, actually. It was just that when you said it, I wasn’t in any condition to deal with it. :

: I can’t prevent myself from feeling this way just because you tell me to, Revi. : Seven could not remember feeling quite this badly before. Revi had trusted her, and she had repaid that trust by hurting her when she was least able to defend herself.

“Seven, stop.” The commanding tone in Revi’s voice was something Seven had not heard before, and it snapped her out of her thoughts.

“Listen to me,” said Revi more gently. “You didn’t know, but you do now. Save your guilt for a time when you knowingly hurt me, not a time when you did it by accident.”

“I will never knowingly hurt you.” Seven was aghast at the very concept.

“I know you believe that. But if we take this relationship any further, you probably will. And I’ll probably hurt you, too. Seven, this is something you need to know before you make any decisions about us. And it’s one of the reasons I didn’t want you to know how I felt.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I know. Bear with me.” Revi ran her human hand through her hair and leaned back. Seven could hear many different thoughts going through her mind, so quickly that she couldn’t make them out. She waited for Revi to sort through them and present them to her.

Blowing out a breath, Revi dropped her hand again. “Let me start from the beginning. I was fascinated by you when I first came on board. Even aside from the joy of being able to share my thoughts again, I felt an instant attraction toward your mind and your heart. You’re a beautiful person, Seven, inside and out, and I feel truly fortunate to have been able to witness that beauty on the inside.”

Seven blinked. She knew that others appreciated her aesthetically, but their opinion had rarely mattered. Revi’s opinion, she found, mattered a great deal. A warmth spread through her as she listened to Revi’s voice and mind.

“It didn’t take long before that fascination turned into a romantic attraction. But after you told me that you felt the same way, I got nervous. As long as it was one-sided, I didn’t have anything to worry about. But if you shared my attraction, then there was a chance that we might end up in a relationship together. And that seemed like a very bad idea to me.”

Seven wanted very much to refute this statement, but through an act of considerable will managed to restrain herself. Revi gave her a wry smile. “I know. So anyway, I kept my emotional shields up to make sure that you didn’t see just how strong my attraction was. I knew if you did, you’d pursue it. And I honestly thought I would be bad for you, Seven. I’m still not convinced I won’t be, but I’m not going to make the mistake of preempting your decision again. You were quite right about that—I don’t have the right to choose for you, and I’m sorry that I took that on myself.”

“I accept your apology,” said Seven. “I’m sorry that I became so angry. I can see in your thoughts that you believed you were doing what was best for me.”

“Well…” Revi waggled her hand in front of her in a gesture Seven knew meant ‘somewhat.’ “I did believe that, but my motivations weren’t entirely altruistic. I was also—no, make that I am also, scared shitless.”

Seven caught the flash of thought in her mind. “Of me?” she asked incredulously. “Why?”

“You know why.”

Closing her eyes, Seven tried not to let the pain in her chest get past her blocks. : Because of what I just did to you. :

She opened her eyes again when she felt Revi’s hand take her own. Revi was looking at her with gentle understanding.

: Your guilt is preventing you from reading me clearly. No, Seven, because of what we can do to each other. Our mental connection makes a relationship between us different from anything you would have with anyone else on this ship. Sharing our thoughts and emotions can result in moments of incredible joy and connection. It can also result in us hurting each other very badly. I’ve never cared about anyone quite the same way that I care about you, and that makes me extremely vulnerable to what you think and feel towards me. If you care about me like that, you’ll be just as vulnerable. You need to understand that before you make any decisions about us. :

: Does not any intimate relationship carry the potential for hurt? :

: Yes. But our potential is for a whole different level of hurt. The payoff is that we also have a potential for a whole different level of love. :

Love. It was a concept that Seven had heard about, read about, but had no real understanding of. She had dismissed it in her first years on Voyager as first a physiological disease and then an irrelevant emotion, one that made its sufferers dangerously weak. But as time passed, she had come to see it in a different way. Dismissal had turned to curiosity, which had recently changed to a longing. She was aware that her lack of experience with love set her apart from the rest of the crew in a way that few other things would. And here, at last, was a chance to understand it, to experience it, with someone for whom she already felt an intense attraction.

Revi had followed her thoughts. : Seven, I don’t think that’s entirely accurate. You’ve experienced love, you just haven’t defined it as such. :

Seven raised her eyebrow. : For whom? :

: Kathryn. I saw that in you the day I came on board. :

This was a startling concept. She loved Kathryn? But it didn’t feel the same as what she felt for Revi. And yet Kathryn herself had said that she had unknowingly admitted that love in her wedding toast.

: Oh, Seven. You have so much to learn. :

From anyone else, that would have been irritating. But from Revi, and in thought form, the words were a simple statement of truth with no value judgment attached.

: I agree. Does this mean you’ll teach me? :

The thought was fraught with meaning. Revi stared at her for a moment before answering.

: How much do you want to know? :

: Everything. :

Revi nodded, and Seven knew she’d expected nothing less. She listened to the thoughts tumbling through Revi’s mind, arguments for and against going forward. Seven had made her wishes clear—now Revi had to decide for herself, and it was plain that despite their conversation it was still a difficult decision for her.

Seven thought there must have been some sort of temporal anomaly in the room, because the twelve seconds before Revi finally spoke took much longer than normal time. She wasn’t surprised when Revi abandoned thought communication; it was as if the moment was of such import that the answer needed to be spoken aloud.

“I will teach you, Seven, to the best of my ability. I’m obviously not going to talk you out of this. And the truth is, I don’t want to. Not anymore.”

With that, Revi dropped her shielding. For the first time, she let her true feelings for Seven show, and the intensity made Seven gasp out loud. She’d never felt anything like it. Even when Revi had been emotionally defenseless earlier, the fear, guilt and anger from her flashback had prevented other emotions from coming through. Now nothing interfered with the strength of these feelings, and Seven was stunned at their depth. Warmth washed over her as Revi’s emotions curled around her brain. Most she understood; some she could not identify—but all of them felt welcome, infusing her with a sense of being wanted, of being priceless, of being…unique. Revi was showing her that she was the only one in her heart; that she was actively choosing Seven over all others.

: Before we go any further, Seven, I need you to understand that I’ve made this choice once before. I’ve had several lovers, but only one partner. I need you to know about Steph. :

The image that appeared in Seven’s mind surprised her. : I’ve seen her before. :

: Yes. But then you didn’t know who she was. :

A series of images came down the link, and Seven closed her eyes as the story unfolded in her brain. When the last image faded she could hardly bear the sorrow. At last she understood the true source of the grief that had always underlain Revi’s every emotion and darkened so many of her thoughts. She knew why Revi was so afraid for both of them.

: I understand. And I am very sorry, Revi, for you and for her. But you must know you were not responsible. :

: It doesn’t matter. It was still my hands, my actions. This is who you’re choosing. :

Seven knew that Revi was waiting for her judgment. Would she proceed, knowing what had happened? If she decided not to, Revi would understand.

But for her, there was no question about her decision. This new knowledge, though tragic, had merely illuminated Revi’s motivations. It did not alter her thinking in any way.

: I have never chosen a partner before. But I hope you’ll be both my first and my last. I have not changed my mind. :

Revi closed her eyes. : Thank you. Oh, gods, thank you, Seven. You are so much more than I have ever deserved. :

: We will see if you still think so a week from now. :

That earned her a watery smile. : I love your humor. I love so much about you. It might seem strange, but what I feel for you is already stronger in some ways than what I felt for Steph. I want to show you. :

The warm emotions returned, this time accompanied by images. Revi was sending thoughts of the two of them together, sharing their lives, in all the aspects of a long and loving relationship. Seven lived a lifetime in a few minutes as she watched their time together unfold in Revi’s imagination, and she wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her real life making these thoughts and images into a reality.

The images changed, becoming more concrete and more physical: it was their date at Kronos as it might be now. They dined together; walked along the sea wall hand in hand; came back to Revi’s quarters and sat close on the couch, wrapped in each other’s arms. And then came the image of them naked and twined together in a bed, moving against each other in a slow dance that Seven recognized as copulation. But somehow she’d never imagined copulation looking like that.

: It doesn’t, Seven. Copulation is a simple physical act. What I want with you is so much more. I want to make love with you. :

Seven was startled to see that Revi had moved close to her—she had been so involved with the onslaught of emotions and images that her awareness of her external reality had faded. She looked into the eyes so near her own and swallowed. This was what she wanted, and yet, it was much more than she’d expected.

Their eye contact never wavered as Revi spoke to her mind. : This is just the beginning, Seven. The actual reality of this may be overwhelming for you. Not just because it’s your first time, but because our mental connection is going to magnify everything. I’ll be watching what you’re feeling, and if you have even a moment of fear, I’ll stop. I will never do anything you don’t want. : She reached up and touched Seven’s cheek with her fingertips. : This is all about you. :

Seven captured the fingertips and held them against her face.

: No, it’s not. It is all about us. :

Revi’s smile was slow and sensual. : I haven’t been part of an “us” for a long time. :

Her thoughts telegraphing her intent, Revi leaned forward and kissed her. All of Seven’s doubts about her own ability to engage in a meaningful sexual encounter faded as she responded to the images and thoughts flowing down their link. Revi was showing her exactly what to do, without the limitations of speech. Almost instantly, Seven understood how to vary the pressure of her lips, how to move her mouth so that they made contact in different ways. When she felt Revi’s tongue touch her lips, she was already expecting it and knew how to respond. The part of her brain still devoted to logical processes found the sensations fascinating. Not only was she feeling the warmth and smoothness of her tongue sliding past Revi’s, but she could also feel what Revi was experiencing. Dimly she noted that her body temperature had already risen six tenths of a degree, and that her respiration was on the rise as well.

Revi pulled back, much to Seven’s disappointment. But that was short-lived as she felt Revi’s lips moving down her jaw to her throat. Instinctively she let her head fall back, and marveled at how sensitive the skin of her throat appeared to be. Why had she never noticed that before? These kisses were causing shivers to run through her body, yet she was experiencing a strange sort of lassitude at the same time. How was it possible to be relaxed and excited simultaneously?

: Just wait, Seven. You don’t know the meaning of either “relaxed” or “excited” yet. :

Revi spent so long kissing and gently nibbling Seven’s throat, jaw, ears and face, all while softly running her hands over her body, that Seven actually failed to note the elapsed time. Either her internal chronometer was nonfunctional, or her cortical implant was not making a proper connection. The most startling realization was that she really didn’t care—the sensations she was experiencing were of far more import.

Revi looked into her eyes as she slowly pulled Seven’s uniform shirt out of her pants, then lifted it up and over her head. Maintaining their eye contact, she lightly ran her hands over the newly bared skin, making Seven wish she’d remove the bra as well. The thought drew a smile from Revi, who finally looked down at the exposed upper slope of her breasts. Seven felt an unfamiliar emotion from her then, something similar to attraction but much more intense.

: It’s desire. I’ve desired you for some time, but I’ve never let myself really feel it until now. And now, looking at you, I can hardly feel anything else. :

Revi lowered her head and began kissing a trail from Seven’s throat to her cleavage. She dipped her tongue in before moving elsewhere, everywhere, dropping kisses and small nips as she went. And for the first time since leaving the Collective, Seven gave herself completely over to someone else. Her trust in Revi was absolute. She was torn between wanting to sink into the current sensations Revi was producing, and feeling an impatient expectation of what was to come. She wanted it all.

She could hear Revi’s amusement at that thought, but it vanished a moment later as Revi rose and took her mouth again, this time in a kiss that was far more demanding. Seven responded to the thoughts and images, wrapping one arm around Revi’s back and using a hand on the back of her head to pull her in. She felt her bra being unfastened, but paid little mind as the kiss took all of her attention. Then Revi pulled away, gently removing the bra at the same time. A reverent awe flowed down their link as she viewed Seven’s naked torso.

: So beautiful. : Revi’s thought was the last coherent one that Seven caught for some time. When Revi began kissing and nibbling her breasts, Seven’s mind was overwhelmed with the indescribable physical sensations, as well as the sensations that came down their link. She felt both the heat of Revi’s lips and tongue on her nipple, and Revi’s own sensations of the hard, round nipple in her mouth. Feeling both sides at the same time ratcheted the intensity up to a level that was dangerously close to overloading her cortical implant. Dimly she heard the sound of someone groaning, and realized that it was her own voice. She was vocalizing without knowing it, her body was moving of its own volition, and her mind was buried under the onslaught of images and sensations. She was losing control, and a flash of fear lanced through her.

The mental bombardment and physical touches ceased abruptly. A single thought cut through the silence.

: Seven, it’s all right. You’re all right. It’s absolutely normal to lose control like that. :

She opened her eyes to see that Revi had backed off and was sitting on her heels, their physical contact now limited to their entwined fingers. It took a few moments for Seven to realize that Revi had raised her mental shields once again, thus protecting Seven from the onslaught of shared emotions and sensations.

: It is? Do you lose control? :

Revi grinned rakishly. : Only when the sex is really good. :

: Losing myself is a positive sign? :

: Oh yeah. : Then Revi sobered. : But I think we’ve gone far enough for today, Seven. This is all so new for you, and I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. : She reached out for Seven’s bra, which lay on the floor by the couch, but Seven caught her arms and held them in an immovable grip.

: No. I do not wish to stop. : Seven had waited far too long for this to let it end prematurely. She wanted to experience it all. Now. Not parceled out over time.

Revi wasn’t convinced. : Seven, I felt your fear. I never want to feel that when we’re intimate. :

: You will not, because I will no longer be afraid. You have explained; I accept your explanation. Now I know what to expect, and I’ll be prepared for it. :

: Seven— :

: You must continue. Please. :

Revi stared into her eyes. Slowly, a smile curved her lips. : I will comply. : She stood up, pulling Seven with her. : Let’s take this to the bedroom, shall we? :

: I will go wherever you wish. :

Revi had begun to move away, but at that thought she turned, scanning Seven’s face with a startled expression on her own. Seven stood her ground, returning the look with a raised eyebrow. : Do you doubt me? :

: Never. I doubt me. :

Seven relaxed her stance. This was an issue they would not resolve in one evening, much as she might wish to.

: Then my belief must be enough for both of us right now. : Seven brushed past a surprised Revi and walked into the bedroom, quickly stripping off her uniform pants and underwear before turning around. Revi was just entering the room, and at the sight of Seven standing there naked she stopped, leaning against the doorway for support.

“By all the gods, Seven. You are so incredibly beautiful.” Revi’s voice was husky.

“I have never cared about that before now,” said Seven. “But I wish to be beautiful for you.”

“Don’t worry, you’ve succeeded and then some.”

“Then why are you still in the doorway?”

A low laugh rewarded her. “Mostly because my legs won’t move.”

Seven was intrigued by that sultry laugh. She stepped to the door and grasped Revi’s hand, pulling her into the center of the room before dropping her hand and tugging her uniform shirt out of her waistband. Then she paused, waiting for permission.

Revi ran her human hand up Seven’s arm, brushed it over her shoulder and skimmed gently down her chest. Once again her shields came down, and Seven reveled in the renewed flow of emotions and sensations.

: Yes. Please. : It was written on Revi’s face as well as in her mind.

Immediately Seven pulled the shirt over Revi’s head and ran her own hands eagerly over the skin now exposed to her touch. It wasn’t long before that was not enough, and she reached behind Revi to undo her bra. There was no fumbling, no awkwardness; their shared connection told Seven exactly what to do and exactly how Revi felt about it. She pulled the bra off Revi’s shoulders and dropped it to the floor, her eyes riveted to the already hardened nipples. Fascinated, she began caressing Revi’s breasts, marveling at the different physical textures as well as the sensations flowing down their link—sensations that she was causing. An unexpected feeling of power swept through her. It was her touch that made Revi’s eyes close, her light pinches that elicited those small, quiet vocalizations. Eager to explore the boundaries of this new-found power, she leaned over and took a dark nipple in her mouth.

The groan that seemed torn from Revi’s throat was music to her; but even better were the sensations that she could feel on Revi’s side. She sucked on the nipple, responding to the image that had appeared in her mind a moment before, and saw Revi’s head go back as a louder cry escaped.

The series of images that flashed through their link gave her a great deal to work from. The problem now was not that she did not know what to do; it was that she had to choose what to do first. There were so many possibilities open to her that she stalled momentarily, unable to decide which was the more enticing.

Impatient at her indecision, she wrapped one arm around Revi’s upper back and the other around her hips, abruptly pulling their bodies together while she bit down none too gently on the tendon in Revi’s neck.

“Gods, Seven!” The cry was wrenched from Revi. : And I was worried about YOU? :

Seven smiled, adding a slow, minute gyration of her hips as she held Revi firmly in place, returning her mouth to Revi’s and kissing her deeply. She found her body responding to both her own sensations and Revi’s, and soon became aware that they shared an urgent need. Their minds were now so tangled together that it was becoming difficult to tell where Revi’s feelings ended and her own began, and the situation was made even more complicated by the fact that her feelings had intensified so much that they easily equaled Revi’s.

Suddenly a flash of joy came down the link. Through their connection Seven realized that Revi had finally thrown off all restraint, accepting Seven as an equal partner who did not need to be treated carefully. And before Seven had even processed Revi’s intention, she found herself being propelled backwards, bumping into the bed and falling on it. Immediately Revi’s hand and Borg arm were moving up her legs, making trails of fire along her nerve endings. Not to be left behind, Seven sat up and unfastened Revi’s trousers with blinding speed, pushing them and the underwear beneath them down as far as she could reach. Revi sent a mental command as she finished taking them off.

: Scoot up, Seven. :

Seven pulled herself up so that her entire body was on the bed. Before she had even settled Revi climbed on the bed with her, straddling her body on all fours. The look in her eyes and the emotion emanating off her was something new. Seven thought it looked remarkably similar to that of a predator eyeing its intended prey.

Revi’s smile was sensual. : You should recognize it. You were looking at me exactly the same way not eight seconds ago. :

: Ah. Is that what Lynne means by “you look good enough to eat”? :

A bark of surprised laughter greeted that question. : Maybe. But there’s another possibility. :

The image that hit Seven’s mind made shivers run down her body, which she could only attribute to a sense of anticipation. She had seen this activity illustrated in her research and knew that it was supposed to produce some of the strongest physiological reactions attainable in a sexual encounter. And she was very ready to experience it with Revi.

: Show me. :

: I just did. : Revi waggled her eyebrows.

Seven directed an even stare toward her lover.

: That is not what I meant, as you well know. Show me or I will be forced to do something we will both regret. :

Delighted surprise came down the link. Revi had not expected her to be playful.

: Are you threatening me? :

: I never threaten. I merely state consequences and act when necessary. :

: And what is the consequence if I don’t show you? :

: Do you really wish to find out? :

Revi gave in. : No. I have far better things to do. :

With that thought, she lowered her head and began a line of soft kisses down Seven’s throat. The kisses continued between Seven’s breasts, then circled around while Revi explored a breast more thoroughly. Once again Seven found herself reeling from the dual sensations. It was incredible, overwhelming, and she reveled in the experience. When Revi wrapped her lips around a nipple and began sucking, she found herself flung back to that dizzying mental state, that near loss of control, that had so unnerved her before. This time, however, she was prepared, and let herself go without a second thought.

: Thank you for your trust, Seven. It’s such a precious gift. : The emotion that accompanied Revi’s thought was deeper than anything she’d seen before, and Seven wanted to explore it further, but she couldn’t seem to maintain her thought processes with any kind of coherence. Finally she gave up, promising herself to revisit it later, when she could think properly. For now she devoted herself to simply feeling the sensations that were overwhelming her. Revi’s attentions to her breasts were increasing in their intensity, and the persistent sucking was evoking answering sensations in her groin. She could feel Revi’s rising arousal as well, which affected her own even more, in a seemingly never-ending upward spiral.

Revi shifted, bringing a knee to rest on Seven’s legs, and Seven immediately spread them to make room. With a smooth movement, Revi slipped her legs inside Seven’s and settled in, pushing herself down so that her attentions were now directed to Seven’s abdominal implant. It was an area Seven would never have willingly shown another person besides the Doctor, knowing how very different it was from the unbroken skin of full humans. But Revi possessed the same implant, and apparently knew things about it that Seven did not. Things such as the previously unimagined sensitivity of the areas between the metal ridges, where the mesh appeared to be connected directly to her nerve endings. Seven became aware that her body was arching upward, and her hips were moving of their own accord. She wanted the sensations to continue forever, but then she remembered the earlier image Revi had sent and wished instead that Revi would leave her abdominal implant and move down her body. If that activity was supposed to create even stronger physiological responses than those she was experiencing at the moment, then she wanted to feel them now.

Revi’s mental laughter sounded in her mind. : It’s not very Borg-like to be so impatient, Seven. :

Seven’s answer was immediate and heartfelt. : I am less a Borg now than I have ever been. :

She felt the surprise, and a moment later Revi came back up her body to devour her lips in a passionate kiss that sent chills down her spine. When respiration became an issue, Revi pulled back and smiled at her.

: You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that. :

: Of course I do. Our minds are one. :

: Not exactly. But they will be. :

Seven lifted an eyebrow. : What do you mean? :

Revi just shook her head as her smile grew larger. : You’ll see. Before too long, I expect. : And with that she resumed her activities, gradually working her way down Seven’s body until her face was at the apex of Seven’s thighs. With great care she spread Seven open, gazing at what lay before her with a sense of worship that warmed Seven throughout. The images that came down their link grew increasingly sharp and powerful, and Seven had enough mental processing capacity left to deduce that Revi’s growing arousal was also enhancing the quality of their connection.

That remaining processing capacity fled, however, at the first touch of Revi’s tongue on the astonishingly sensitive tissues between her legs. Everything Seven had ever read on this topic was completely inadequate to the task of describing the reality. Of course, none of those sources had ever described it in the type of situation she and Revi were experiencing. Revi’s tongue and fingers were causing reactions in nerve endings she didn’t even know she had, but Revi’s own sensations, of the soft—and in one place, surprisingly hard—flesh beneath her tongue and around her fingers, of the taste and scent, more than doubled the mental impact. Her body now seemed entirely detached from her mind, moving to its own rhythms, deregulating her breathing and inducing vocalizations that were neither coherent nor controlled. The mental impact was another form of lovemaking altogether as each of them fed the other with her pleasure, increasing and entwining until Seven could no longer distinguish Revi’s thoughts and impressions from her own. She lost herself eagerly in the duality of their experience, luxuriating in a sense of belonging she had never, ever known before, feeling the tension and pleasure building higher and higher, to an end she could not imagine. When they reached a tension that seemed truly unbearable in its brilliance, a shattering release shook both of them and suddenly their minds truly were one, with no barriers left standing, and for one blindingly perfect moment she saw Revi in her totality; every thought, emotion and memory at her fingertips.

She cried out at the loss when that moment faded away and their minds separated once more, the sensation of her own individuality shocking in its loneliness. With her body continuing its minor convulsions and her lungs seemingly unable to pull in enough oxygen, she put her hands to her face and cried, the sorrow of losing that perfection more than her already over stimulated mind could withstand.

: I’m here, Seven; I haven’t gone away, gods, please don’t cry. : Revi’s weight settled on top of her and she immediately wrapped her arms around her, pulling their bodies together as if she could physically recreate the joining she had just experienced in her mind.

: I thought the omega molecule was perfection. For three point two seconds I had the opportunity to look into the face of it, and I thought I would never again have such an experience. But I was wrong, Revi. This was perfection, and it hurts me to lose it now that I’ve found it. :

: But you haven’t lost it. :

Seven just shook her head and continued to cry.

“Seven, look at me.”

Revi’s voice startled Seven into opening her eyes, and what she saw stopped her tears instantly. In her research of human relationships, she had often come across the reference of eyes being “windows to the soul,” and had dismissed the concept as fanciful and irrelevant. But now, looking into Revi’s eyes, she understood. The connection she had just felt was still there, reflected back at her in an expression she could now recognize.

“Yes,” said Revi, smiling as she gently caressed her face. “The connection isn’t lost, Seven. It’s just in a different state right now. There are other ways to reach the kind of bonding we just experienced—drugs and meditation are two—but doing it through lovemaking is the easiest. It’s also the shortest-lived, and I should have warned you about that. I wanted the bonding to be a surprise; I didn’t realize it would hurt you. Forgive me?”

“No,” Seven rasped, her throat dry. She swallowed twice before attempting further speech. “There is nothing to forgive. I believe that had to be experienced to be understood.” Releasing Revi from her tight grip, she raised her hands to the face that had swiftly come to mean everything to her. “I know more about love now than I could have learned in a terabyte of data. Enough to know that I love you, Revi. This is not a crush.”

Revi nodded, a tear slipping down her cheek. “I know. I saw it in the bonding. I’m so sorry I doubted the strength of your feelings. My blindness and stupidity put us both through hell. I’d ask you to forgive me for that, but I know you already have.” She ducked down to kiss Seven, and when she raised her head again the smile on her face made Seven’s breath catch. “And I also know that you’re perfectly aware of my own feelings, but I want to verbalize them just the same. I love you, Seven, so much that it scares me. And I have since that moment in Kathryn’s ready room, when you showed me so much kindness and compassion that I never wanted to let you go. When you held me I felt safer than I ever have in my life. You gave me the strength to stop running—from everything except you.”

“You’ll always be safe with me,” said Seven. “I understand now how much you need that, and I’ll protect both your body and your mind with everything I have.”

“I know you will.” Seven thought she’d never seen Revi smile like that; it held none of the shadows that usually hovered in the corners. “And I understand how much you need to belong; how much you need our connection. It will always be there, Seven, and a lot stronger now that I don’t have to keep my blocks up. We can reach that moment of perfection any time you want; it’s always within your grasp.” She paused. “Well, within bounds of reason.” She began to chuckle as she projected a series of images into Seven’s mind: the two of them making love on the conference room table, while the rest of the senior staff looked on in shock.

“Tom Paris wouldn’t be shocked,” said Seven. “He’d be taking notes.”

Revi threw back her head and laughed heartily, her delight sliding smoothly down their link, and Seven found herself laughing with her in a reaction that felt entirely natural. So natural, in fact, that she was unaware of its import until she felt Revi’s pleased surprise. As her laughter wound down she stared up into Revi’s eyes, enjoying their shared happiness. “That was wonderful,” she said.

Revi laughed again. “Yes, it was,” she agreed. “I hope to hear it a lot more often. I think you and I have needed each other.”

“I’ve never needed anyone,” Seven responded automatically, but then frowned. “At least that’s what I once thought. It was incorrect. I do need you—you complete me.” Her frown vanished. “We complete each other.”

“I was waiting for you to finish that thought. There is no imbalance here, Seven. We need each other equally, and if you ever have any doubt about that, you know what to do.”

“Yes,” said Seven, content in the knowledge that she had just been given the ultimate acceptance.

They relaxed in each other’s arms, enjoying the comfort of simply being together. Seven’s mind belied the peaceful pose of her body, however—it was operating at a furious pace as she processed all that she’d just learned.

:Seven, you’re making me tired just listening to you. :

: That is not my intention. But there’s so much to understand. :

: Well, you could just accept it all and not worry about it. :

Seven turned her head to look at her lover, and Revi laughed. “Okay, maybe not. Gods, you should see your face. You look like I just suggested that we hold hands and jump out an airlock.”

Seven ignored the jibe. “I’m attempting to resolve a contradiction. In my research into the mechanics of copulation, there were many references to the pain and bleeding involved in a female’s first experience. Yet I felt no pain, nor did I observe bleeding. Can you explain?”

“Ah. Yes, I can. You had no hymen, Seven.”

Seven immediately felt inadequate, but Revi squeezed her. “Stop that. It’s really common. This is one of those areas where romantic literature has practically no resemblance to real life. In all the romantic literature, a woman always has a little pain and bleeding her first time, and it’s made out to be something important for a whole bunch of reasons, most of which aren’t healthy in my opinion. But the truth is that there are many ways for a woman to tear her hymen—an accident, a highly active lifestyle, even a hard landing after a high jump. You were Borg, Seven; involved in space battles. You didn’t exactly lead a quiet existence. I’d have been surprised if you did have an intact hymen.”

“Was your hymen intact?” Seven asked.

Revi ran her fingertips up Seven’s abdominal implant. “I saw that one coming. No, it wasn’t. I’m not sure when I tore mine, but I used to ride horses a lot. Plenty of bouncing on a hard saddle, especially when I was first learning and hadn’t quite mastered posting. I remember at least one time, when I tried a jump I wasn’t ready for and hit the saddle hard enough to take my breath away. Suddenly I had new sympathy for men who get kicked in the testicles. But I don’t ever remember bleeding, so I can’t point to any particular event.”

“But if hymens are so easily torn in situations other than intercourse, why does the literature not reflect this?”

“I think you’re opening a whole anthropological can of worms there. Historically, there has always been a lot of importance placed on virginity for all kinds of reasons, most having to do with a sense of ownership and possession. But unless there’s an actual medical examination, virginity can’t be proven without the convenient appearance of blood and pain. So the literature puts those things in. And they do happen, Seven; many women retain intact hymens until intercourse. But the percentage is a lot less than the literature would have us believe. I think the myth of the virginal hymen is still so strong, even after thousands of years, that a lot of people honestly don’t realize it’s a myth. They think that hymens never break except during initial intercourse.”

“As I did.”

“Case in point.”

Seven was disgruntled. “How can such misconceptions be allowed to continue?”

“Because humans aren’t Borg, Seven. We don’t have universal sharing of information.”

“I’ve often thought of humans as inefficient. This is additional data to support that belief.”

“Yes, but Seven, Borg don’t have sex. It’s too inefficient. Personally, I’m willing to put up with a little inefficiency in order to get payoffs like that.”

Seven considered that for two point eight seconds before rolling them over and smiling down at her new lover. “I concur.” With no further delay, she began applying the many lessons she had learned in the last hour. As with everything else, she was a quick study, and when she had this kind of incentive her scholastic excellence was unparalleled. She had a difficult time reining in her impatience, but her desire to take Revi to the same heights she had just experienced helped reduce her sense of urgency. She delighted in her ability to make Revi’s body move to a rhythm of her own choosing, and the textures of the soft curves beneath her hands and lips were enough to occupy her for hours of intense study. But of far greater import was the building mental connection. She felt Revi’s arousal, her voluntary surrender of control, and once again they shared their pleasure with each other in the rising spiral that Seven knew she would never get enough of. She fought the temptation to rush the moment, wanting this spiral to go as high as possible before it ended. Reverently she slipped her fingers into Revi’s center, feeling both her partner’s sensation of physical fullness and her own of an enveloping velvet heat. A slow thrusting, a leisurely exploration of those complex folds with her tongue, and soon the spiral ran out of her control—Revi’s pleasure was taking them both higher than she’d realized. She held on to Revi’s bucking hips, her own body swept along for the ride, and then closed her eyes as the barriers fell and the bonding exploded across their connection. In her ears and mind she heard both Revi’s cry of release and her own of sheer joy. This time, even as her body shook in the orgasm, she was able to focus more on their mental joining—a perfection that validated her very existence. She searched their bonding for specific memories, and experienced them in all the richness of reality. Hours passed in microseconds, and when she crashed back into her own individuality the sense of loss was tempered by the knowledge that she could attain this connection again and again. It would never be truly lost.

: I could spend the rest of my life pursuing that moment. : She lay there, exhausted, her cheek pillowed on Revi’s thigh.

: Gods, I wouldn’t survive it. You have a focus unlike any I’ve experienced, Seven. :

: Elaborate, please. :

: When you’re making love to me, you’re devoting one hundred percent of your attention to me. That’s not the norm. It’s an incredible feeling. :

Seven raised her head to find Revi looking down at her. : But that is what I felt when you made love to me. What else would we be focusing on? :

Revi dropped her head back and laughed tiredly. “Oh, Seven. You have no idea how impersonal sex can be. And I don’t think I ever want you to find out.”

Seven rose to all fours and made her way to the head of the bed, noting distractedly that her arm and leg muscles were extraordinarily weak. She was relieved to arrive at her destination, where she laid back and scooped Revi up so that she was lying full length on top of her. A small yelp was squeezed out of Revi as she felt herself lifted, and she raised a sardonic eyebrow at Seven once she’d been settled in place.

“Is this to be my new sleeping position?” she asked.

“This is the only condition I can imagine that could induce me to attempt sleeping,” Seven said. “If you wish me to ‘sleep with you,’ it will have to be in this orientation.”

“Getting a little ahead of yourself, aren’t you? Did I invite you to stay?”

“No,” said Seven in perfect confidence, “but our minds have been one and I know everything about you. You want me to stay.”

“Gods, you’re insufferably arrogant. I can see the bonding is going to make you worse than anyone’s wildest dreams.” But Revi’s smile belied her words, and their link still included all of her emotions. Seven knew she was actually quite pleased.

“I don’t mean to be arrogant,” said Seven honestly. “I have never understood how simple truth is so often mistaken for arrogance. Besides, I’m glad you want me to stay, because I never wish to leave.”

Revi’s face softened and she crossed her arms on Seven’s upper chest, resting her chin on her hands. “Then we’re in perfect agreement.”

Seven nodded. “Will you explain about sex being impersonal?”

“I knew you wouldn’t let that one go.” She sighed, and Seven could hear her ordering her thoughts. “There’s sex, and then there’s making love. What you and I just did was making love. The difference is in the emotions, or lack thereof.”

“I understand,” said Seven, who had been following both the spoken and unspoken thoughts. “But if the emotions are present, do the participants not devote all of their attention to each other?”

“Ideally, yes. In reality, not always. Even partners who love each other deeply can have intimate relations that don’t hold a candle to what we just experienced, because they aren’t focused for any number of reasons. Stress, outside distractions, time limits, mental concerns…”

“But those factors will always be present,” said Seven. “The moments when all outside influences are ideal must be very rare. Today you were, and still are, very concerned about the ramifications of your flashback this morning. Yet you did not let it affect your focus on me. I share that concern, as well as a strong desire to separate Chakotay’s head from his neck—” Revi snorted—“but I would never allow that to interfere with my focus on you. Why would we? If people are limited by circumstances, how do they enjoy their lovemaking?”

“Speaking from experience, I can say that we enjoy it by lowering our standards. There’s an old saying that even bad sex is good.” Seven shook her head at the contradiction, and Revi laughed. “I’m so glad you don’t understand that. But Seven, sex is very pleasurable at all levels. If people were dissatisfied with anything but the level you and I have achieved—well, we’d all spend a great deal of our time being unhappy. What we have is unusual. Even discounting the link, a lot of people don’t experience anything close to what we just did, but they still enjoy it.”

“I’ll accept your word,” said Seven. “I have no wish to acquire data on my own.”

Revi smiled at her. “Good. I selfishly have no wish to see any other partners in your mind.”

“You are gratified to know you’re my first.”

“Gods, you make me sound like such a lecher. But I guess you’re right. Partially.”

“Partially?” Seven extended her mind into their link, grateful that Revi’s blocks were still down and that she allowed the exploration. “You are worried that I will eventually wish to try other partners. For comparison purposes, or because I will grow tired or bored. I will not,” she said with complete certainty.

Revi’s stare was level and very serious. “Seven, you can’t guarantee that. People’s emotions change.”

“‘Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove,’” quoted Seven. She had only intended to use the second and third lines of the sonnet, but when she felt Revi’s amazement she couldn’t resist finishing it.

“‘O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wandering bark, whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken. Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks within his bending sickle’s compass come; Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved.’”

Revi’s look of total shock struck her as humorous, and for the second time in her adult life, she laughed. “You did not expect me to quote a sonnet?” She was delighted that, even with their connection, she could still surprise her partner.

“That’s putting it mildly. I never pictured you reading Shakespeare.”

“Kathryn enjoys poetry. She loaned me a book of sonnets in her efforts to help me understand the concept of creativity, though I believe she secretly hoped it would give me an insight into human emotions. It did. The most famous of all Earth playwrights stated, over seven hundred and eighty years ago, that love was defined by its very constancy. I love you, therefore by definition it will not change at its most basic level. And if what I feel is not love, then I challenge you to show me an example so that I may determine the difference.”

Revi opened her mouth, then shut it again. “Remember when I said there was no imbalance in our relationship?”

“Of course.”

“I might have been wrong about that. I think I’m going to be scrambling to keep up with you.”

Seven tightened her arms around Revi. “You will not. But you must know that I will never accept statements like that one without a full exploration of the logic. It is not logical to tell me that my love for you will eventually fade.”

“Seven, there’s nothing logical about love in the first place. Emotions aren’t logical.”

“No,” agreed Seven. “So why are you arguing with me?”

Once again Revi was stopped cold. This time she gave up and, to Seven’s momentary distress, rolled off.

“Wait!” Seven tried to catch her, but Revi was fast on her feet.

“Come on,” said Revi. “It’s time for our next lesson in lovemaking. Lesson Twenty-Six: Singing in the Shower. If you thought the mental aspect of what we just did was breathtaking, wait ‘til you see what happens when we touch each other at the same time. Think orgasm squared.”

Seven knew that Revi was referring to the Doctor’s organized and numbered lessons on dating, utilized during her first attempt to research human romantic interactions. She followed Revi with a smile, thinking that if the Doctor’s lessons had been like these, she’d have required no further instruction.

 

 

 

 

---

Chapter 20

 

 

Chakotay unrolled his medicine bundle and stared at its contents. It had been too long since he had last consulted his animal guide, and his current confinement was a harsh testament to how far he had drifted. The verbal flaying Janeway had given him had hurt more than anything he could recall, even her rejection of him as a potential partner, and he was determined to get back into her good graces. As a self-inflicted punishment, he’d watched the sickbay security log three more times, each time wincing at his own actions. He had behaved unprofessionally. But he still couldn’t shake the thought that Sandovhar was more than she seemed, and dangerous to the crew. Janeway had never explained that damnable interlink Sandovhar had hooked Seven into, nor the obvious changes to Seven’s behavior since Sandovhar had come on board. He just wasn’t comfortable with the ex-drone. But for Janeway’s sake, he’d do his best to explore his own feelings and determine whether or not her accusation of prejudice had any basis in truth.

Placing his hand on the akoonah, the device that would assist his mind into the spirit world, he gazed at the carved river stone and began the ceremony.

“Akuchimoya. We are far from the sacred places of our grandfathers. We are far from the bones of our people…”

As he spoke the sacred words a familiar lightness invaded his body, and he soon found himself among the windswept cliffs of his spirit place. Breathing the dry, warm air, he smiled to himself. Why had he put off this journey?

“Because you weren’t ready to hear my words,” said a familiar voice. Chakotay wheeled in shock.

“Father!”

Kolopak smiled. “I’ve been waiting for you. You certainly took your time.”

“I don’t understand. You’ve never been in my vision quests before.”

“Yes, I have. You just never needed me before.”

“How can you say that? I’ve needed you more times than I can count.”

Kolopak shook his head. “What you needed was to find your own strength. You no longer seek strength now, but an understanding of yourself, and that’s my department. No one can know you like your father.”

“Then you know why I’m here.”

“Of course. To remove the scales from your eyes and the stoppers from your ears. You took longer than I expected, my son.”

Chakotay felt a brief flash of irritation; his father always did know how to get under his skin. Kolopak laughed.

“It is a father’s right, and never more so than in the spirit world. I have better access now than ever.”

Chakotay stared at him, forcing down his indignation. How many times had he wished he could speak with his father just one more time? Would he waste this chance on old angers and childhood grudges? If he had learned one thing in the Delta Quadrant, it was to seize every opportunity as if it were the last. Because it very well might be.

“Then you have learned well, my son.” Kolopak beamed at him with visible pride. “But you still have much to learn. Come, walk with me.”

An outside observer in Chakotay’s quarters would have seen the commander place his hand on an electronic device, chant a few sentences, and then cease moving for over an hour. When he finally stirred again, it was to drop his face in his hands.

“Oh, Father,” he mumbled. “I had hoped to be a much better man when I saw you again. I thought I was through being angry.”

Slowly he got to his feet and stood up, his legs tingling from the sudden rush of blood into inactive limbs. Rubbing out the pins and needles, he walked to his desk and retrieved his comm badge.

“Chakotay to Captain Janeway.”

“What is it, Commander?”

His eyes closed, both at her tone of voice and her impersonal use of his rank. He had some very large bridges to rebuild.

“I have a personal request.”

 

 

-----

 

 

“Revi, you must get up. Kathryn gave you a twenty-four hour deadline to see the Doctor and you have only thirty-one minutes remaining.”

“I know, I know. But if she’d known what was going to happen, I think she’d have made that deadline something along the lines of a week.”

Seven smiled at her reluctant partner. “And you believe she didn’t know this would happen?”

Revi’s eyes flew open and she sat up, propping herself up with her hands. “I don’t think I like what I’m hearing in your head.”

Her new position displayed her breasts to excellent effect, and Seven shamelessly enjoyed the view. “Whether or not you like it is irrelevant. The fact remains that Kathryn gave me precisely the same time off that she gave you, implying that she knew we would spend that time together. Since we have never before spent that length of time exclusively in each other’s company, the conclusion is inescapable. She knew that we would become lovers.”

“She couldn’t have known,” argued Revi. “The last time she and I discussed you, I made it very clear that I didn’t have those kinds of feelings for you.”

“Apparently it’s much more difficult to convince those with whom you do not share an interlink. Both Kathryn and Lynne assured me that you had ‘those kinds of feelings’ for me when I spoke with them at the end of their honeymoon.”

“I know,” groaned Revi. “I picked that one up in our last bonding. Gods, how embarrassing. And I’m supposed to speak to them again? I don’t think I even want to see them again. Lynne was ready to kill me.”

“You’re being unreasonable.” Seven ran her fingers through Revi’s hair, having learned that her lover greatly appreciated this form of touching. “They’ll be very happy for us. Both of us. We are not concerned about social acceptance at the moment, however; we are concerned about your physical health. Come on, your delay tactics are ineffective with me.”

Muttering, Revi allowed herself to be pulled out of the bed and into the shower. Her efforts to entice Seven into another round of lovemaking were rebuffed as additional delay tactics, which they were, but Seven could see that Revi was stung by her refusal.

“I will be more than happy to renew this activity upon our return,” she said, reinforcing her assurance with a passionate kiss. When she pulled away, the smile was back on Revi’s face.

“Promise?”

“Of course.”

Revi sighed and finished soaping up. “I know I sound like a six-year-old. It’s just that what we’ve experienced in the last twenty-four hours has been pure magic, Seven, and there’s a part of me that’s afraid that when we walk out that door, nothing will be the same.”

“Nothing will be the same,” Seven pointed out. “When we arrived in these quarters, we were friends and shipmates. We will leave as lovers. Why would you wish things to be the same?”

Revi ducked her head under the water. : You’re so good for me, Seven. You keep me on my toes like nobody I’ve ever known before, with the possible exception of Kathryn. :

: Can you imagine an interlink with her? : Seven had often thought of this scenario.

: You must be kidding. That would be terrifying. That woman already knows me better than I know myself without an interlink; I can’t imagine what she’d be like with one. :

Revi finished rinsing and stepped around Seven, allowing her to take her turn in the water. In only one day, thanks to their link and a natural compatibility, they had already acquired an ease of movement that spoke of long intimacy. Seven had not recognized it until Revi had pointed it out, informing her that it was not usual for a relationship as new as theirs. Seven took it as one more proof of the inevitability of their coupling. They were simply meant to be together. She had spent some time estimating the odds of their meeting, but had been interrupted in the middle of her calculations by a lover who had already grown impatient for the next round. The next time she’d had a moment to think about it, she’d decided she simply didn’t care.

She pondered Revi’s thoughts on an interlink with Kathryn as she quickly finished rinsing.

“I can imagine it in regards to her insight into my mind,” she said as she shut off the water and opened the shower door. Her longer arms had an easier reach for the towels, and she handed one in to Revi before taking her own. “It would simply be more of the same. Her ability to understand my thought processes has too high a success rate to be explained as either chance or educated guesses. She seems to know me, as you said, better than I know myself.” They stepped out of the shower and began dressing; Revi in civilian clothes and Seven in her recycled uniform because she had nothing else with her. “What would differ would be my insight into her mind. That, I think, would be fascinating.”

Revi paused as she buttoned up her shirt. “Gods. I guess I hadn’t thought about it from that angle.” Then she finished buttoning and took up a hairbrush. “But you know, Seven, she’s still human. A unique and truly remarkable one, but human nevertheless. If you could see into her mind I think you’d find the same wishes and doubts that we all have.”

Seven took her turn with the brush while Revi passed the sonic dehumidifier over her hair, drying it almost instantly.

: I find that difficult to believe. : Seven appreciated the fact that no amount of noise, even the high-pitched whine of the sonic dehumidifier, could interrupt their conversation.

: Why? :

: Because I have witnessed Kathryn in moments that would have rendered most individuals either fearful or extremely sad, and she has rarely shown any hint of those types of emotions. : Revi clicked off the dehumidifier and handed it over, and Seven continued her thought as she dried her own hair. : I have, however, seen her happy and angry; playful and ruthlessly efficient. Therefore I know that she is not repressing her emotions, unless she has the ability to repress them selectively. :

: And why wouldn’t she? :

Seven turned off the dehumidifier with great relief. “This device makes my teeth hurt.” She began to twist her hair up, but Revi put a hand on her arm. Seven looked at her in the mirror and smiled at the wish that was crystal clear in her mind. “I will comply,” she said, letting the hair fall and earning a kiss for her reward. “But only because I’m not on duty. It’s an inefficient style and impedes my visual range.”

“Yes, but it looks fantastic.”

Seven rolled her eyes, but they both knew she was pleased. They walked out of the bathroom and sat on the bed together as they put on their footwear, while Seven resumed their prior discussion with an ease that Revi shared. “I don’t know. Is it possible to selectively repress emotions? I had believed it to be an all-or-nothing proposition. When I was Borg I felt nothing. When I became human I felt everything.”

“You’re a special case. You didn’t have a lifetime to learn how to separate your emotions. Some people are very good at it, and Kathryn is one of the best I’ve ever seen. That’s not necessarily a good thing for her personally, but it helps make her a great captain.”

They left Revi’s quarters and made their way down the corridor, continuing their conversation in private.

: How do you know about her ability to separate emotions? :

: Because I’ve seen her in a few unguarded moments. I know for certain that she has some of the same emotions and doubts that we all do. :

: Is this anything you can share with me? :

They stepped into the turbolift, acknowledging the two ensigns who were already in it. “Deck five,” said Revi. : Not without betraying her confidence. But I’ll ask her about it, Seven. I don’t want to have to keep any more blocks up with you. :

Seven looked at her, pleased at this testament to their growing intimacy and trust. : I appreciate that very much. Thank you. : She noticed the ensigns looking at her oddly, and realized that she was smiling at Revi. Having heard none of the prior conversation, her facial expression must have seemed inappropriate.

Revi turned and smiled right back at her. : If they’re going to think you’ve gone space happy, they might as well think the same of me. :

Such solidarity made Seven’s smile even wider, and by the time they disembarked on deck five, Revi informed Seven that they’d made a big enough impression to guarantee inclusion in that day’s hot gossip.

“Seven! Doctor Sandovhar—it’s good to see you both,” exclaimed the Doctor when they entered sickbay. He sounded genuinely happy as he chattered on, leading Revi into her office since all of the biobeds were occupied. Seven had not often seen him since turning her regular checkups over to Revi, and for a moment she felt guilty at not spending more intervals of time with him. She was mindful of his attraction to her, and having recently learned the difference between unrequited love and love that was returned in equal measure, she now felt sorry for him. She wished he could be as happy as she was.

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t be here to help with the Arnett,” said Revi.

The Doctor made a motion of dismissal with one hand while activating his medical tricorder with the other. “Don’t worry about it,” he said, running the probe up and down her body. “Most of the injuries were handled by Mr. Paris and Ms. Hamilton, and the more serious ones, while certainly life-threatening, were easily taken care of by your tireless and efficient emergency medical hologram. It wasn’t anything along the lines of, say, resolving an artificially induced disease.”

“Not going to forget that anytime soon, are you?” Seven recognized Revi’s tone as indicating her amusement, and could hear it in her mind as well.

“Not until I devise some means of returning the favor.” He focused his attentions on her head, changing some settings on the tricorder and making several additional passes before replacing the probe and deactivating the tricorder. “You’re in perfect health. Just in time for my day off tomorrow.”

“And who authorized that?”

“The captain, yesterday. Seems she took pity on my overworked matrix. I have a golf game scheduled in the holodeck.”

“You know, Doctor, it makes perfect sense to me that you would enjoy the world’s most boring and pedantic game.”

Seven listened to the banter, knowing that Revi had worked and planned to get this relationship to precisely this point. She had learned more about human interactions in the last twenty-four hours than in any single year prior to now. An interlink with Revi, or at least a Revi who was now allowing near-total mental access, was the most efficient learning device ever invented.

“At least I knock balls around on a large, healthy, outdoor venue instead of squinting over twelve square meters of green felt in some smoke-filled room,” said the Doctor. “And since any mention of your chosen vice must bring to mind your hustling of Captain Janeway—with whom I feel great sympathy, might I add, as a fellow victim—I should pass along a message. The captain wanted you to stop by the bridge after I cleared you.”

“Then I guess we’d better go.” Revi pushed off the desk she’d been leaning against. “Do you have your report on the Arnett? I can take that with me and catch up.”

“Ah ah ah,” said the Doctor, waggling his index finger. “I believe you were ordered to take yesterday and today off. Today is less than half over. Try again tomorrow.”

“Doctor…”

“The Doctor is correct, Revi.” : And I would prefer your undivided attention for as long as I can get it. Who knows when we’ll have another opportunity? :

Revi looked at Seven and shook her head. “I could fight one of you, but not both. Fine, let’s go. Thank you, Doctor. Enjoy chasing your little white ball around, and let me know how many times you have to cheat.” She led the way out of sickbay, ignoring the Doctor’s indignant huff.

 

 

-----

 

 

Kathryn was equally happy to see them when they arrived on the bridge, instantly turning the conn over to Commander Tuvok and leading them to her ready room. She escorted them to her upper level and procured drinks for all, giving Seven a knowing smile when she offered to take hers and Revi’s. Once they’d settled on the couch, she said, “I can’t tell you how relieved I am to see you, Revi. The Doctor said you were fine, but that only answered the physical part of my concern. I can see now that the mental part is doing equally well.”

Revi glanced at Seven. “It is, thank you. Better than well, actually.”

“I can see that, too.” Kathryn took a sip of her coffee. “So tell me, do you two have any illusions about keeping your relationship a secret?”

Seven choked on her hot cocoa, requiring a cough or two to clear her bronchial tubes. She could feel Revi’s amused resignation.

“How did you know?” Revi asked.

“Oh, let me count the ways.” Kathryn’s smile was brilliant. “There’s the minimal to nonexistent personal space between the two of you. There’s Seven’s solicitousness, which I’ve never seen before. There have already been several glances back and forth; you can’t keep your eyes off each other and I’d bet you’re counting the minutes until you can get back to private quarters so you can stop worrying about keeping your hands off each other. But most of all, there’s the glow.”

“What glow?” asked Seven, alarmed by the possibility and then puzzled when Kathryn just put her cup down and laughed. Revi wasn’t helping matters, having joined Kathryn in the private joke.

“It’s an old joke about new lovers,” explained Revi. “We’re supposed to glow with happiness and thoroughly sated desires.”

“She’s mostly right,” added Kathryn. “It’s old, but it’s not a joke. You two are blinding examples. I may need to turn down the lighting in here.”

“Kathryn, stop; you’re embarrassing Seven.” Which was quite true; Seven had no idea that her new status would be physically apparent and was somewhat distressed at the prospect.

“But not you, I notice.” Kathryn turned to Seven with that beautiful smile still on her face. Taking one of Seven’s hands in her own, she said earnestly, “I’m very, very happy for you, Seven. This is the best part of being human, and I’m thrilled that I get to watch you learn about love and happiness now, instead of the more negative emotions you’ve had to deal with. And I can’t think of anyone better suited to you than Revi.”

“Thank you, Kathryn.” Seven was pleased and touched by what amounted to a benediction from the one person whose admiration and respect she most desired.

“And Revi—” Kathryn reached out with her other hand—“all I can say is, it’s about time you finally saw the light. If you’d taken much longer I don’t know if I could have held Lynne back. She was more than ready to ‘assist’ you in taking off your blinders.”

Revi dropped her head. “I know. I’ve been an idiot.” She raised her eyes to Seven’s and her back straightened. “But Seven has forgiven me, and that’s all I need. So you can tease me all you want, but I’m immune to that one.”

Kathryn looked back and forth between them. “You two do have it bad. I think I’d better instruct Tuvok to check the fire detection systems in both your quarters.”

“Kathryn!” Revi’s voice betrayed her embarrassment, and Kathryn laughed.

“Not immune to everything, then. Good. If I can’t have a little fun with you then there’s just no point in having arranged this so beautifully. I must say I’m quite proud of myself.”

“You’re insufferable,” said Revi. “You were right, Seven.”

“You said I was insufferable?” Kathryn gave Seven a mock severe look.

“No.” Seven would not be baited. “I said I was certain that you had ulterior motives for giving me the same time off that you gave her.”

“Damn,” said Kathryn, “I’m going to have to watch my step. Between the two of you I think my chances of pulling anything off have just been greatly diminished.” She squeezed their hands and then let go to retrieve her cup. “Now I do have to ask a serious question.”

“Go ahead,” said Revi and Seven simultaneously.

Kathryn swallowed and put the cup down. “I don’t want to pry into your personal affairs, but I need to know if this change in your relationship translates to a change in your mental connection. If I speak to you, Seven, am I speaking to Revi as well?” She looked at Revi. “Are you still separate mentally or has your interlink been altered?”

Seven ceded the question to Revi, who said, “It’s changed. Any separation we maintained before was due to careful compartmentalization of our thoughts and the fact that I had all of my emotional blocks at full strength. Now that I’ve taken those blocks down I frankly have no desire to put any of them back up again, and we’re both enjoying not having to guard our thoughts so carefully. So in terms of confidentiality or security, which I assume is why you’re asking, you’ll have to consider us one entity.”

Kathryn nodded. “I suspected that; thank you for your candid answer. That will be a bit of an adjustment, and it may require some changes in policy. But we’ll work with it.”

“Thank you, Kathryn,” said Revi. “We really appreciate your open mindedness. You’re handling this with the tolerance and grace I’ve come to expect of you.”

“You’re very kind to say so, but I’m just doing what’s best for the ship. You’re both far too valuable to Voyager for me to allow an unorthodox situation to interfere with your inclusion in this crew.”

“That is incorrect.” Seven could not let that pass without comment. “At the very least it is incomplete. We would remain members of this crew regardless of whether or not you ordered us to keep our minds as separate as possible, and I believe you know that. There is no Starfleet directive requiring you to adapt to our situation; if any directive existed regarding a Borg interlink, it would no doubt require just the opposite. You are treating us with thoughtfulness and generosity, despite the potential difficulty of your own adaptation. Why would you not wish this to be recognized?”

Kathryn seemed speechless for a moment. “All right,” she said at last. “That was your voice and your phrasing, but I heard Revi in there too. Are you speaking through each other?”

“No, of course not.” Seven was insulted. “I am still entirely myself; Revi doesn’t control me.”

: It’s all right, Seven. Kathryn doesn’t understand this, but she’s trying. : Aloud Revi said, “There’s more to our connection than we’ve told you so far.”

“Then I think you’d better tell me the rest.” Kathryn’s tone was cool, and Seven was dismayed to hear it. Impulsively she reached out and took Kathryn’s hand in both of hers, and when wide blue eyes swung up, she found to her surprise that she could read emotions in them she’d never before been able to recognize.

“Kathryn,” she said softly, “your greatest goal for me has always been the reclamation of my humanity. But all the books, programs, and philosophical discussions in the universe could not do for me what a single day of exquisite mental bonding has done. Revi has shared more than her mind and body with me; she has shared her humanity. That is what you’re hearing now. There’s nothing sinister about it; there’s no control; there’s just the beauty of understanding. I still have a great deal to learn, but I see so much now. Don’t be afraid for me. I’m truly happy.”

The fear she’d seen in her friend’s eyes—fear that she’d realized was for her—faded into a new comprehension. Kathryn raised her other hand and hesitantly touched the loose hair brushing Seven’s shoulder.

“You’re so different,” she said. “I’ve seen you through so many changes, but I’m not sure I can keep up with you now.”

Seven squeezed the small hand in her own. “You will. I will not lose you. I love you, Kathryn, and have for a long time. I just never had a way of understanding or defining it before.”

Tears sprang to Kathryn’s eyes, and Seven looked at Revi in panic. : What did I do? :

: Nothing but tell her a truth she’s longed to hear. And one she probably never thought she would. :

: I don’t know what to say now. I do not wish to distress her further, and she dislikes displaying emotion, especially while on duty. :

: Too late for that. : Seven looked back at Kathryn to see that several tears had escaped and were running down her cheeks. “Kathryn,” she said helplessly, reaching up to wipe off the tears. “I’m sorry for causing you to cry on your shift.”

Kathryn shook her head, smiling. “Only you would say that. It’s okay, we’re alone and besides, these are tears of happiness. Everything I ever wanted for you is sitting right in front of me, and it’s more than I can hold in right now.”

“Everything?” asked Revi. “I can think of at least one more aspect of humanity that you haven’t seen yet.”

Kathryn wiped her cheeks. “Do I want to know?”

“Laughter.”

“You’ve laughed?” Kathryn expression was incredulous as she turned to Seven.

“Four times in the last twenty-four hours,” said Seven with some pride. And then found herself catching her friend as Kathryn launched into her arms.

“Seven, that’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you!” Kathryn pulled away, a wide grin lighting her face. “I can’t wait to hear it. How could you change so much, and literally overnight?”

“The bonding,” said Seven as if that explained everything. For her, it did.

“You said that a few minutes ago. An ‘exquisite mental bonding.’ Can you explain that? Am I prying?”

To Seven, nothing Kathryn asked could remotely resemble prying. “Not at all. But I will leave the explanation to Revi; her descriptive skills are superior to mine.”

Kathryn turned to Revi expectantly, and Revi flushed. “It’s, um, something unique to us. I mean, I’ve never experienced it with anyone but ex-Borg who have joined me in an interlink. It happens during physical relations…and, um…”

Kathryn held up her hand. “Never mind. I am prying.”

Seven was bemused by Revi’s sudden loss of verbal expression, and impatient with the whole process. “No, you’re not,” she said. “I retract my former statement, Revi; your descriptive skills have inexplicably failed.” She turned to Kathryn. “The bonding takes place during our simultaneous orgasms. It lasts only for a few seconds, but in those few seconds our minds truly are one. Our thoughts, emotions and memories are completely open and intertwined; there is no separation of self. That is how I’ve learned so much in such a short time. A great deal of information can be shared in twelve bondings.”

She could feel the embarrassment flowing off Revi, and looked at her in surprise to see her face hidden in her hands. : Revi? What’s wrong? :

: Oh, nothing. You just told our captain that we had twelve simultaneous orgasms in the last day. Just a little tea time conversation between friends. :

Seven looked back at Kathryn, who was leaning against the couch with an odd expression on her face.

“All right,” said Kathryn, “I’m officially on break now. This is not a captain conversation.”

“Told you,” mumbled Revi.

“My god,” Kathryn said, shaking her head. “Twelve simultaneous orgasms? I can’t believe you two walked in here under your own power.”

Revi groaned and rested her head against the couch with her forearm over her eyes. “Just kill me now.”

“I don’t understand,” said Seven. “Why is this so difficult for you to believe? Is it the quantity or their simultaneous nature?”

Kathryn poked Revi in the ribs. “You haven’t had the birds and the bees talk yet, have you?”

“Oh, gods.” Revi turned away from them, bent over and laid her face on the couch. “I’m not here,” she said in a muffled voice.

Kathryn threw back her head and laughed. “Oh, yes you are. This is the most fun I’ve had in a while.” She turned to Seven. “Well, Seven, since your partner appears to be out of commission, I guess it’s up to you. Are you telling me that all of your orgasms are simultaneous?”

“Of course,” said Seven. “Why would they not be?”

Kathryn poked Revi again. “You’ve ruined her. She’ll never be happy with normal sex now!”

Revi just curled into a tighter ball, making an incoherent noise.

“Kathryn, you’re embarrassing her.” Seven felt obligated to protect her partner, even though she didn’t fully understand the cause of her distress.

“Thanks, Seven, I can see that even without the benefit of an interlink. And I’m taking great joy in it, too. Consider this payback for hustling me, Revi. At least I’m only embarrassing you in front of one witness.”

Revi uncurled and sat up, her normally dark skin even darker. “Okay, okay, point taken. You’re a piece of work, you know that? I would never have thought you’d want to have this conversation.”

“Normally I wouldn’t, but the fact that it bothers you so much changes everything.” Kathryn turned a delighted smile on Seven. “Let’s get back to this simultaneous orgasm discussion.”

“Oh for GODS sake, Kathryn!” Revi burst out. “All right! Because of our interlink, we feel each other’s physical sensations just as strongly as our own. Which means that whenever one of us has an orgasm, the other does at the same time. Are you satisfied?”

“No, but you obviously are,” said Kathryn, right before wrapping her arms around her stomach and dissolving into laughter.

Revi exhaled in disgust, but then she began to laugh too, and the combination of Revi’s amusement in her mind, appreciation of Kathryn’s play on words, and the sight of both of them laughing affected Seven as well. Her laughter joined that of the other two, and Kathryn instantly raised her head, looking at Seven in wonder.

Seven and Revi wound down, with occasional chuckles still escaping. Kathryn was still staring at Seven. “God, you have a beautiful laugh,” she said.

“She does,” agreed Revi. “I wish you could see her the way I do, Kathryn.” She reached across the captain and took Seven’s hand. “She’s beautiful on the inside, too.”

Seven smiled. : Thank you. :

: No need to thank me for speaking the truth. :

“I know that,” said Kathryn. “I knew that almost from the day we met, even when you were fighting me so hard.” She shook her head. “But I never dreamed we’d end up like this. Seven, this is already beyond my wildest hopes for you, and I get the feeling you’re just getting started.”

“That may be true,” said Seven. “But the journey began with you. I said at your wedding that you had a place in my heart that no other would ever fill. That has not changed, nor will it.”

“Speaking of unchanging emotion,” said Revi, “I must thank you for lending Seven that book of Shakespearean sonnets. She quoted the hundred and sixteenth to me last night as part of a logical argument regarding the quality of her feelings for me. You’ve created a monster.”

“I happily accept credit.” Kathryn tilted her head. “‘Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds’?”

“That’s the one. I’ve heard the legends about the arguments you had with Seven when she first came on board, Kathryn, and I have to tell you that I’m amazed you won any of them. She’s formidable.”

Kathryn winked at Seven, and Seven felt a warm sense of inclusion.

“Don’t worry,” Seven said. “In time I believe I can train her to be nearly your equal in verbal battle. Until then, do you think that you could advise her? As yet she is not a sufficient challenge.”

Revi sent her a sizzling glare, and Kathryn laughed. “Revi, you’ve got your hands full, and I’m not getting in the middle of it.”

Revi’s expression turned serious. “Actually, that brings up another topic that’s rather personal.”

“Well, this seems to be the time for it. Go ahead.”

Seven was fascinated by the process in Revi’s mind as she cast about for the proper phrasing.

“You and I have a unique relationship,” Revi began. “One that includes a close personal component, which I cherish. You’ve shared things with me that I’m reasonably certain you haven’t shared with anyone else, and I have valued those moments above almost all others. And I’ve kept your confidences.”

“I know you have,” said Kathryn. “And I’ve cherished those moments, too. It’s meant a great deal to me to have someone I could really talk to.”

“Then you need to know that I’m still here for you to talk to, but it may not be just me anymore. I have deliberately not shared those thoughts with Seven, but I have no control over what we share during a bonding. And, truthfully, I would welcome the freedom of not having to compartmentalize those thoughts anymore. I will if you ask, without question and for as long as you need. But I’m hoping that you can eventually be comfortable with having Seven as a confidant as well.”

Kathryn sat back, looking first at Seven and then at Revi. “I won’t lie to you, that’s a little difficult for me to wrap my brain around.”

“Kathryn, I’ve been privy to the medical records and procedures of every crewmember Revi has treated since beginning her work in sickbay,” said Seven. “The first thing she did upon returning to work was refer me to the regulations regarding doctor/patient privilege. I understand the concept and would never betray that privilege; nor would I ever betray any confidence that you shared with Revi, or me by proxy.”

“I’m not worried about your understanding of confidentiality, Seven,” said Kathryn. “It’s just that the relationship we’ve shared to this point has been based on the dynamics of captain and crewmember, or mentor and pupil, and only recently as friends and family. I’m not accustomed to thinking of you as someone with whom I can share my own personal issues. I’ve only shared that with three people in the last six years, and I’m married to one of them. What Revi is suggesting is a radical change in the way you and I interact.”

“A moment ago you were concerned about the speed of my personal growth and whether or not you could ‘keep up.’ It would seem that altering the dynamic of our relationship may be a change you need to make in order to facilitate that.” She could see Kathryn wavering in the face of her logic, and followed it up with an emotional appeal. “Besides, I would like it very much if I could give you even a fraction of the personal understanding and support that you have given me.”

“Oh, Seven. You never fight fair.”

“I learned from you.”

“No, you didn’t. You were fighting me from day one. You arrived knowing how.”

“True. But I never seemed to win until I began adopting your techniques.”

They stared at each other in silence for several seconds, and Kathryn slowly nodded. “Revi,” she said, still looking at Seven, “don’t worry about compartmentalizing any personal confidences I make. In future I’ll make them with the understanding that Seven will know everything you do. But Seven,” she said earnestly, “this is a big step for me. It may take me a while before I feel comfortable sharing in that way with you directly.”

“I understand. You may never feel comfortable doing that. But I hope that someday you will.”

Kathryn looked away, then rose and walked to the replicator. “I need a refill. Anyone else?”

“No, thank you,” they said.

By the time Kathryn returned to the couch, she had reacquired some of what Seven was beginning to think of as her personal shielding.

: Not a bad description, Seven. : Revi gave her a wistful smile.

“My break’s over,” said Kathryn, and they knew she was back in captain mode. “I need to talk to you about yesterday.”

“I know,” said Revi. “Are you having second thoughts?”

“About what?”

“Having me as CMO.”

Kathryn shook her head. “Why would I have second thoughts about that?”

“Well, let’s see. I had a mental breakdown, which caused you to reroute staff into sickbay, pulled you and Seven off the bridge, and completely disrupted the medical treatment of fifty-four people. Not something you usually want to see in your CMO.”

“Seven, didn’t you give her my message?”

“I did.” : But you didn’t hear it, did you? : The thought Seven directed at Revi earned her a guilty look.

“Then I’m not quite sure why it’s coming up now. Revi, this is not at all what I needed to talk about, but I can see we’re going to have to deal with it first. No, I’m not having second thoughts. You didn’t have a mental breakdown, you had a flashback. It’s a completely different thing and you of all people should know that. We dealt with it and it’s over. And if you think the Doctor hasn’t had his share of issues, including a feedback loop resulting in total program paralysis, then I’ll have to fill you in on some history. Suffice to say you have nothing to worry about and my only concern on that topic is for your mental health, which you have assured me is good. If you’re all right, then I’m all right. Got it?”

Seven smiled to herself; she’d attempted to tell Revi these exact things, but somehow it seemed to have more weight coming from Kathryn.

Revi glared at her, but it quickly dissolved into a sheepish smile. “Got it,” she said, looking back at Kathryn. “You’re actually the second person to tell me that, so I guess I’ve no choice but to believe it. Thanks for not giving up on me.”

“Kathryn doesn’t give up on her crew,” said Seven.

“And especially not for such a half-assed reason,” added Kathryn. “Thanks, Seven. I may call you in here more often when I have to deal with Revi; it’s rather nice having backup.”

“Call me whenever you require my assistance.” Seven was enjoying this new interaction.

“Great, now I’m being double-teamed.” Revi tried her best to sound grumpy, but nobody in the room was taking her seriously. “All right then, if you didn’t intend to demote me, what did you need to talk to me about?”

“Commander Chakotay. After reviewing the security logs and establishing the chain of events, I took him off duty and confined him to quarters for ten days.”

“On what charges?”

“Unprofessional conduct and actively endangering crew members.”

“Not that I don’t wish him all the best in his incarceration,” said Revi, “but I don’t get it. He didn’t actively endanger me.”

“Yes, he did,” said Seven. “You did nothing wrong, yet his report to security had both Kathryn and me convinced that you were a danger to the ship.” Without meaning to, she flashed onto the memory of Kathryn pulling one phaser rifle out of the weapons locker and offering a second to her.

Revi’s eyes widened as she caught the memory, and she looked at Kathryn in disbelief. “You did have a rifle. I remember it now. You were going to shoot me? The stun setting alone on those things can still cause a lot of damage to cybernetic systems.” She paused. “Tell me you had it set to stun.”

Now it was Kathryn’s turn to look disbelieving. “Of course I had it set to stun! Do you think I wanted to hurt you? I thought you’d gone rogue, Revi. I didn’t know what was happening, but Seven couldn’t read you, Chakotay said you’d attacked him and a patient and were a danger to the ship, and you didn’t even recognize us. My first duty is to this ship and crew; you know that. If you were a danger, then it was my responsibility to neutralize you, by whatever means necessary.”

“Whatever means necessary? Meaning if you couldn’t have brought me down with a stun bolt, you’d have changed the setting. Well, that would have been the ultimate irony, wouldn’t it?” Revi’s voice dripped with sarcasm. “To be killed by one of the only people I’ve ever trusted and considered a friend. The shipmates I assimilated would have loved that.”

Seven saw the dismay flash across Kathryn’s face.

: Revi, stop! :

Her mental call was sharp enough to break Revi out of the spiraling emotions she’d been swept up in, and she looked toward Seven with her heart in her eyes. Seven got up from the couch and knelt in front of her, taking her human hand in her own.

“We’ve both avoided thinking about this, but I believe you now require the whole truth,” she said gently. And she projected her memories of the event, from the moment Revi’s emotions had swamped her on the bridge until Kathryn had offered to wait outside the cargo bay. When she was done, Revi was shaking.

“Are you all right?” Kathryn had kept still during the memory exchange, but her concern was readily apparent.

“I’m fine,” said Revi, squeezing Seven’s hand. “I remembered some of that, but certainly not all of it. I’m sorry, Kathryn, I was way out of line just now.”

“Well, it’s not every day you find out that your friend was prepared to shoot you.” Kathryn’s effort to dismiss Revi’s apology fell flat.

“It’s also not every day I find out my friend was prepared to release me, even though I was violent and out of my mind, just because Seven said I wouldn’t hurt anyone. You trusted her and you trusted me, and I feel like a heel for not trusting you just now.”

“Revi, there’s no fault here,” said Kathryn. “Well, there is, but the person at fault is already being punished. Don’t punish yourself, please. That’s not why I told you about Chakotay.”

“Why did you?” asked Revi. Her relief at the change in topic nearly overwhelmed their link, and Seven realized that in her focus on this conversation she’d forgotten to raise her own mental blocks against her lover’s emotions. They had practiced this in Revi’s quarters, with Seven protesting that she saw no reason to block the emotions from her mind after waiting so long to have access to them in the first place. But Revi had insisted, and now she understood why. After the exposure she’d had in the last several minutes, she felt a reduction in her own energy levels. Concentrating, she raised her blocks and found herself able to relax. Revi’s emotions were still there, but the intensity had been reduced.

“First of all,” said Kathryn, “because I thought you’d appreciate knowing that his actions had consequences. And second, because he called this morning and requested release from his quarters for the purpose of visiting you.”

Seven stiffened. “He would be wise to remain well away from Revi. If he touches her again I will remove his hand. Permanently.”

“Seven, it’s okay. I’m grateful for your support, but I can still fight my own battles.” Revi looked back at Kathryn. “What does he want?”

“To talk with you.”

“Is there any reason to believe that this talk will be productive?”

“Actually, I think it might,” Kathryn said. “He went on a vision quest last night, and it sounds as if he’s learned a few things. I won’t ask you to do anything you’re not comfortable with, but if Chakotay is ready to reach out, maybe the two of you can find some middle ground.”

Seven listened while Revi thought furiously. She felt the reluctance and the doubt, and the force of will her lover employed to overcome them.

“I’ll talk to him,” Revi said at last. “But I don’t want him in my quarters, and I’m certainly not going to his. Can we use the conference room?”

“Why don’t you use my ready room? It’s less formal and probably more conducive to the type of conversation I think you might be having.”

“That’s very kind of you; thank you.”

“When will this take place?” asked Seven.

“Whenever Revi wants. Chakotay still has nine days left in his sentence.”

“Right now,” said Revi. “I want to get it over with so I don’t have to spend the rest of my time off dreading it.”

“Are you sure you’re ready?”

“No, but I’m sure I want to be done with it.”

“I understand.” Kathryn activated her comm badge. “Janeway to Tuvok. Release the lock on Commander Chakotay’s door.”

“Yes, Captain.”

“Janeway to Commander Chakotay.”

There was a short delay before Chakotay responded. “Go ahead.”

“Doctor Sandovhar has agreed to hear what you have to say. Report to my ready room immediately.”

“Acknowledged. And thank you, Captain.”

“You can thank Doctor Sandovhar when you get here. Janeway out.” Kathryn stood. “Seven?”

Seven rose from her position and deliberately took a seat on the couch. “I will remain here. Revi should not be alone with him.”

“Seven, it’s all right,” Revi assured her. “You can monitor it from the conference room.”

“Insufficient,” said Seven. “When Commander Chakotay mistrusted and hurt you, his actions impacted me as well. The sooner he understands our connection, the better it will be for all of us. Especially him.” Her threat was not a subtle one.

: Seven— :

: Do not attempt to dissuade me. This is not negotiable. :

They stared at each other in silence until Revi looked back at Kathryn. “Go ahead, Kathryn. If you hear the sound of anything breaking, you might want to send Tuvok in.”

“If I hear the sound of anything breaking, I’m beaming everyone in this room straight to the brig.” Kathryn wasn’t joking. “Seven, I understand your desire to protect Revi. But don’t forget who and where you are.”

“I will not.” Seven knew that was her captain speaking.

Kathryn nodded and left the room. When the doors shut behind her, Revi spoke.

“Do me a favor, Seven. Don’t mention the simultaneous orgasms to Chakotay.”

Seven looked at her in surprise until she felt Revi’s amusement. “You are attempting to divert me with humor.”

“Can you blame me? You’re a little hot over there.”

“I am far less ‘hot’ than I could be. Commander Chakotay deserves a harsher punishment than confinement to quarters, and I would be more than happy to carry out that punishment. I am only surprised that you don’t feel as strongly.”

“I suspect the confinement was the least of the commander’s sentence. I may have been out of it yesterday, but I still remember the look on Kathryn’s face when I told her what happened, and I just got a second look at it through your eyes. I don’t imagine her conversation with Chakotay was a pleasant one.”

Seven remained unconvinced until Revi sent her some imagery from her own early memories of Voyager that stopped her cold. Yes, now that she thought of it, Kathryn had always been able to affect her far more with words than any other punishment.

The door chime rang, and Seven felt Revi’s instant dread. She reached out and clasped her hand.

“Come,” Revi called. Her face showed none of her feelings.

Chakotay entered, dressed in civilian clothes, and walked up to stand in front of them. His eyes dropped to their linked hands, but all he said was, “Thank you for agreeing to see me. Do you mind if I sit?”

“I’d prefer it,” said Revi. Seven noted that he chose a spot on the other side of Revi, further from her own reach.

: That’s because he recognizes a threat when he sees one, darling. You’re practically bristling. :

Only with considerable effort did Seven keep her jaw shut. : Darling? :

: It’s a term of endearment. And you are very dear to me. Do you mind? :

: No. What should I call you in return? :

: Anything you want. :

Seven realized then that the dread had vanished from Revi’s mind, having been replaced with total confidence. She’d used their connection, and their feelings for each other, to shore up her defenses.

“Did you have something you wished to say?” Revi asked. “Or were you just going to stare at us?”

Chakotay blinked. “I didn’t mean to stare. It’s just that I’ve seen behavioral changes in Seven over the last five months that I ascribed to your having some sort of mind control over her. It hadn’t occurred to me until just now that the most likely explanation was also the simplest.”

“You mean that we’re in love?”

He looked her in the eye. “Yes. Are you?”

“Not that you have the slightest right to ask that, but yes we are. Is that what you wanted to talk about?”

“No. I wanted to apologize to you.”

“For what? Yesterday, or the last five months?”

He acknowledged her barb with a pained smile. “You’re not going to make this easy, are you?”

“You haven’t made much easy on me, Commander. You may think of me as a Borg, but I’m still a human being with human feelings. And you’ve managed to bring out all of the negative ones.”

“I know. And I’m sorry for that. I recently looked into my heart and wasn’t happy with what I found there. I let my fear of betrayal blind me, and it resulted in my injuring you and losing the regard of the one person on board whose opinion means the most to me.”

“The captain.”

“Yes.”

“So you’re here because you want to earn your way back into her regard?”

“In part. I’m also here because I would like to earn your forgiveness. I made assumptions when I came into sickbay yesterday that were based on my distrust of you. If I’d been thinking more objectively, more professionally, I would have seen that you weren’t assimilating that woman.”

Revi yanked her hand out of Seven’s, and Seven winced at the flash of rage that seared her mind. She was a little awed at its strength even with the mental blocks.

“You thought I was assimilating her?”

He tried to defend himself. “You must admit it looked bad from my perspective. You were holding your…that arm at her throat and she was screaming.” He pointed at her cybernetic arm.

“You know,” said Revi in a voice that was nearly a growl, “for a man who swore he was watching my every move, you haven’t been very observant. My assimilation tubules are on this hand.” She held her human hand up in front of him, releasing the tubules from her wrist implant for effect. His eyes widened, and Revi shook her head as she retracted the tubules. “Holy gods,” she said. “I knew you were a paranoid delusional when it came to me, but I had no idea how delusional.”

He was obviously shaken, and took several seconds to pull himself together. “Neither did I,” he said. “Doctor Sandovhar, please accept my apology. I let my distrust of you get entirely out of control, and I’d like to prove to you that the side of me you’ve seen so far is not my normal behavior and certainly nothing I’m proud of.”

Revi watched him in silence, but her mind was anything but quiet.

“Tell me something, Commander,” she said. “Why should I accept your apology now when you wouldn’t accept mine five months ago?”

“No reason I can think of. But I hope you will. I don’t have much in the way of excuses but I hope you’ll listen to the only explanation I do have.”

She nodded. “Go ahead.”

He took a deep breath. “Do you know anything about my activities in the Maquis, right before joining up with Voyager?”

She laughed, and Seven felt her let go of her mental restraints. “Commander, I know everything about you, remember? You were one of us for a short while. And when you joined with Riley, you shared yourself to an even greater extent with her. You’re one of the very few humans in the universe who have experienced an interlink bonding. It was wonderful, wasn’t it?”

He looked shocked, but then closed his eyes and swallowed. “Yes,” he said quietly. “It was.”

“Then before you go any further you should know that Riley and I joined as well. Everything you shared with her, she shared with me. The bonding is an all or nothing experience; she couldn’t have kept anything confident even if she’d wanted to. Do you know how much it hurt her when we had to use you? Did you know that she loved you?”

By the expression on his face, he didn’t.

“She never knew what happened to you after that. And I’m glad, because it would have been very hard on her to see what you turned into. A bitter, distrustful, unforgiving man. All because, for a period of seven point three minutes, we took your will from you and forced you to commit an action that you wanted to commit in the first place. Oh yes, and saved a few thousand lives in the process. What a burden you’ve borne, Commander. Why don’t you try having your will taken from you permanently, and being forced to commit actions that violate everything you’ve ever stood for? Actions including deliberate mutilation and homicide? You’ll pardon me if I can’t find it in my heart to feel sorry for you.”

Chakotay’s jaw was slack, and he took a few seconds to straighten up.

“I deserve that,” he said. “You’re right; I’ve been clinging to a sense of injury that I should have let go of a long time ago. But what the Cooperative did to me isn’t the only reason I haven’t trusted you.”

“No,” she said wearily, “you were determined not to be caught trusting another spy, another betrayer. Not after Tuvok and especially not after Seska.”

He stared at her. “Is there anything you don’t know about me?”

“Sure, anything that’s happened in the last three and a half years.”

“So you knew from the beginning that I was putting you in the same category as Seska?”

“No. I thought this was all about the Cooperative. It wasn’t until our conversation prior to Captain Janeway’s wedding that I realized there was more going on. But I didn’t blame you for not wanting to trust a spy again. I just wish you’d compared me to Tuvok instead of Seska. I don’t have any great fondness for Cardassians either.”

He chuckled, and then stopped as if his amusement had taken him by surprise. “You seem different,” he said. “But I know you’re not. I’m just seeing you as you really are, for the first time.”

“Commander, the only person who sees me as I really am is Seven of Nine. And, to some extent, Captain Janeway. But I know what you’re trying to say, and I’ll admit it does give me some hope that perhaps we can coexist without singeing the air between us every time we look at each other. I’m tired of keeping my guard up and I’ve got far better things to do with my time.” She looked at Seven, who smiled at her.

“Does that mean you accept my apology?”

Seven listened as Revi struggled with her choice. The desire to tell Chakotay where he could put his apology was extremely strong, but she eventually fought it back with the realization that such an answer would only exacerbate the problem. It was interesting, Seven thought, that to Revi’s mind the most significant argument for forgiving him was the knowledge that to not do so would undoubtedly disappoint Kathryn.

The mental struggle took some time, and Seven was pleased to note Chakotay’s increasing discomfort as he waited. But eventually Revi spoke.

“Yes, I’ll accept your apology. Does that mean you’ll be treating me like a human being and a professional?”

“Yes,” he said immediately. “Thank you, Doctor Sandovhar. I appreciate this, and you won’t regret your generosity.” He waited, and when neither of them said anything his discomfort became obvious. “Well,” he said, rising from the couch, “I guess I’ll be getting back to my quarters now.”

Seven stood up as well. “Before you leave, Commander, there’s something you need to understand.”

“What’s that?”

“I am not nearly as forgiving as Revi, nor will I ever forget the condition I found her in after your misguided attempt to detain her in sickbay. If you ever touch her in anger or distrust again, nothing and no one on this ship will prevent me from exacting retribution.”

Their eyes locked. Slowly, Chakotay nodded. “I understand, Seven. It won’t happen.”

“Good.” Her unwavering stare followed him all the way out, and only when the doors closed did she turn to Revi.

Who was smiling at her.

“Darling,” said Revi, “I don’t think that was quite what he was hoping for as a parting statement. But I have to admit it makes me feel cherished and protected.”

“You are,” said Seven,