chapter 55

 

 

“Why didn’t you take it off in the runabout?” Kathryn was trying to pace off her frustration, but it wasn’t working. Her perfect plan had unraveled at the very last second. The Cardassian prisoner she’d promised to Admiral Necheyev—the strategic intelligence asset that had made such an enormous allocation of Starfleet resources worth it—had eluded her grasp.

“I’m sorry,” said Revi. “I wasn’t thinking about stopping him from being a danger to himself, I was thinking about stopping him from being a danger to us.”

“Goddammit!” She paced across the room one more time, then dropped onto the chair next to Revi. “Necheyev is not going to be happy with me. I really needed to deliver this. Having a member of the old Obsidian Order in her hands was the one thing that convinced her to sign off on all this. Shit, I can’t believe it.” She hated the fact that she wasn’t in command of this ship, that she hadn’t been right there on the scene when the Cardassian was beamed over, that she wasn’t in control of every facet. She didn’t even have a ready room to sit in while she yelled at Revi. Instead she was in a conference room on the Valiant as it and the Tagus sped back toward Earth.

“Leave her alone, Kathryn,” said Lynne. “It’s not her fault.”

“Actually, it is. I should have thought about it.”

“No, it’s not. It’s mine.”

Startled, Kathryn looked across the table at her wife. “How is it your fault?”

“Because I told him that if he didn’t use it now, he’d never have the chance.”

A dead silence fell across the room.

“You what?” Kathryn’s voice was at its lowest register.

“You heard me.”

“What in the hell were you thinking?” She was rapidly working up a full head of steam when Lynne’s quiet answer cut right through her.

“I was thinking I want to be free.”

Deflating, she said, “But you would have been free. Lynne, he was never going to get away.”

“From us, today? No. But could you guarantee lifetime imprisonment? No, because the charge could only be attempted murder. You couldn’t even get him on kidnapping because he only kidnapped a hologram. He’d have gone to prison for a good long time, yes, but not for the rest of our lives. And it was personal to him. You know that. You think his need for revenge would have gotten any smaller once he served out his term? I think it would just have gotten stronger. I think he’d have spent his free time dreaming up the absolute perfect plan to kill me. And after these last three weeks, I can tell you that I am not going to live that way again. I don’t care if it wouldn’t be until twenty years from now. I’m not doing it.”

“So you convinced him to commit suicide?” asked Revi. Kathryn thought peevishly that instead of sounding shocked, she seemed rather fascinated.

“Nobody convinces a member of the Obsidian Order to commit suicide. That’s trained into them from the beginning. If he didn’t still believe in that training, he’d have stopped wearing the patch. But he still had it, and we all know he’d have used it sooner or later—why else would you have gone straight to his cell to remove it, Kathryn? All I did was give him a few relevant facts. Such as the fact that he’d failed in his mission and failed in his revenge. And that his failure would be very, very public. And that he was going to a Federation penal colony to think about it for a very, very long time.”

“And failure is death,” said Revi. “Gods, Lynne. You knew exactly what to say.”

“Great.” Kathryn threw up her hands. “My wife hangs me out to dry with my supervisor, and my best friend and doctor is congratulating her!”

“What is wrong with you?” demanded Lynne, her voice unexpectedly loud. “Do you want me to live under a sentence of death? Is losing me once not enough?”

Kathryn felt all the air go out of her lungs. She could only stare, stricken, as Lynne glared at her.

“I did what had to be done. To save myself, and to save you, and everyone else I care about. And all you can think about is how it makes you look with Admiral Necheyev? Fine. Tell Necheyev that your wife went rogue on you. I’ll take the blame; I really don’t give a shit. Because I am alive, and I am free, and I am not apologizing for it.” She shoved her chair back and was out the door before Kathryn could recover her voice.

Revi let out a low whistle. “I’m thinking there are some unresolved issues there.”

“You think?” Kathryn briefly rested her face in her hands. “Fuck. I didn’t see that coming. She’s been so calm about all this.”

“Too calm,” said Revi thoughtfully. “She’s been under tremendous pressure, and that on top of Terellia. She’s never processed the fact that she died.”

“Or that she killed nine men there,” Kathryn added with a groan. “And three Cardassians a few weeks later, and in a way she’s just added one more to the total. God, Revi, they were staring at each other when we came in. She was watching him kill himself.”

Revi shook her head. “She’s right, though. It would never have ended any other way. For him it was a personal debt, and not something he’d ever forget. Especially when every day he spent among a bunch of Humans in a Federation prison would be a daily reminder.” She paused. “I don’t think hearing about his intentions from the Doctor helped, either.”

Kathryn couldn’t stop the shiver that ran through her at the reference. It had made her want to kill that Cardassian herself. But she’d been concentrating on her plan, and all the strings she’d woven together to make it happen. The favors she’d called in from Tom and the Doctor, the way she’d negotiated the resources from Necheyev with a promise of a strategic payoff, coordinating the movements of three different ships…

She had been in captain mode. But Lynne was in survival mode. They were focused on very different things. On second thought, it wasn’t such a surprise that Lynne had snapped when she’d said that about her supervisor.

“Actually,” Revi added, “I think he’d have been even more bent on revenge after incarceration, simply because of the fact of his incarceration. Obsidian Order members are never caught alive. He’d have been the first. And he would probably have blamed her for that, too.”

Slowly, Kathryn nodded as the realization trickled through. “Well, I guess there’s nothing for it but to tell Necheyev that in five minutes of unsupervised time, he managed to kill himself. Because the truth is, this is my responsibility, not yours and not Lynne’s. I neglected to give you the order to pull that damned patch, and that opened the window of opportunity.”

Revi was shaking her head. “You shouldn’t have had to give me the order. I know about poison patches. Let me take responsibility.”

“It doesn’t work that way, though I appreciate the offer. Necheyev will be mad as hell, but I do have his ship, with a database he never got the chance to purge, and I even have a cloaking device, which is a hell of a coup. Starfleet has been wanting to get its hands on one of those for years. We could never do it without violating one treaty or another. So I’m not without resources. I just don’t have the clean sweep I was working for.”

“I’m not a strategist like you, but I do know something about the Obsidian Order. You do have a clean sweep, because Gohat was never going to tell you a thing. If Necheyev honestly thought she could get actionable intelligence from him, she was in for a disappointment.”

“He’d been kicked out, Revi. The Obsidian Order doesn’t exist anymore, and if he’d been invited into the new Intelligence Bureau, he wouldn’t be out here with his buddies, killing people for money. What makes you think he couldn’t have been encouraged to give us intelligence on the people who exiled him?”

“Because exile doesn’t change the fact that he was from the Obsidian Order, sworn to protect Cardassian interests at the cost of his life. Even if he hated the people who exiled him, he still wouldn’t have betrayed them to us. That would have been a betrayal of Cardassia itself.”

Kathryn closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Maybe you’re right. Not that it matters anymore. I still have a mess to clean up.” She looked up at Revi, who was watching sympathetically. “I appreciate your input, and maybe I can use that when I face Necheyev. But in the meantime—”

“You need to find Lynne.”

Kathryn nodded, grateful for her understanding as she rose from her chair. “Yes, I do.”

Revi followed suit and walked with her. “It’s a small ship; she can’t have gotten—”

They stopped as the doors swished open. Lynne looked in at them, her expression tight. “Revi, can I talk to Kathryn alone?” she asked.

“Of course,” said Revi. “I have a report to file.” She slipped past Lynne, who barely acknowledged her as she stepped inside. The doors slid shut behind her, leaving them alone in the dead quiet of the soundproofed room.

“I was just on my way to find you,” said Kathryn, more to break the silence than anything else.

“I shouldn’t have walked out. But…it’s nice to know you were coming after me.”

They looked at each other, separated by one meter of space and a much larger gulf of unspoken words. Kathryn didn’t know where to start. Her instant fury at the circumvention of her plan had been almost as instantly punctured when Lynne had walked out, leaving her ears ringing with that terrible question. They were both hanging on the edge right now, but she sensed that Lynne was closer to it. Her voice had that strained tone it got when she was consciously controlling it.

At last Lynne said, “I didn’t know that you bargained Gohat’s life for the means to pull this off. You didn’t tell me how you arranged all this, and I didn’t ask. I’m sorry that you’re going to be in trouble because of me. And I think you should tell Admiral Necheyev the truth, so that she can blow up all over the right person, but I know you won’t.”

“No, I won’t.” At least she was apologizing for that much. But Kathryn had a feeling that even if Lynne had known, it wouldn’t have made a difference. “You and Revi are both trying to take this on, but it’s my responsibility. I should have thought of it, and I didn’t. Of course, I didn’t think I’d have to outwit you in addition to a Cardassian assassin. And telling Necheyev that I couldn’t control my wife, who is technically still a Starfleet contractor, is not going to earn me any points either.”

Lynne’s face closed down. “I know I’ve probably put a big hole in your trust. And I’ll do whatever it takes to earn it back. But I had to do it, Kathryn.” Still that very careful, controlled voice.

“I really wish you hadn’t.” An understatement that didn’t begin to express her feelings, but it was enough to make Lynne turn her head away. Kathryn took a step closer and reached for her hand. “But not for the reason you think. Yes, I’m upset that you derailed the payoff, and that I can’t deliver what I promised to Necheyev. But I’ll get over it, and so will she. For god’s sake, that is not all I’m thinking of.”

Lynne looked up. “That’s what it sounded like. But I know how hard you’ve been working to live up to her expectations. I wish…” She lifted her other hand in a helpless gesture, unable to say anything more.

“I wish you hadn’t been involved in one more death,” Kathryn said. “That’s what I’m thinking about. Even if you didn’t kill him, you stood there and watched. You have enough memories to haunt you without adding more.”

A slight head shake. “You don’t understand.”

“Then help me understand.”

Lynne glanced over at the conference table, then led her to the nearest chairs, never letting go of her hand as they sat facing each other. Taking a deep breath, she said, “I did nothing but think about this while I was sitting here on my ass, waiting for everyone else to clean up this fucking mess for me.”

“We were not—” Kathryn closed her mouth at the look on Lynne’s face. “Go on.”

“I was thinking about how it would never be over, and how that man would probably hate me more at the end of it than he does even now. I wished he’d been with the others on the mountain, so we could have finished it once and for all back then. I wished you’d let me take him on in a closed room, with no weapons, so that we could end it fairly. I just wanted it to end.”

“I know. So did I.”

“No, you didn’t. Not the way I did. You were happy to send him to prison, but that wasn’t good enough. You were thinking of him as a strategic asset. But he wasn’t an asset, he was an assassin who valued my death above anything else. Members of the Obsidian Order have a lot in common with high-ranking Klingon warriors. Honor is just about the most powerful motivator there is for them—you’ve already seen that for Gohat, it was more powerful than money. He had a debt of honor to his friends, and you don’t erase a debt like that just by making it difficult to pay for a couple of decades. All we were doing here was delaying the next phase. He would have come out of prison and headed straight for me. And that’s assuming he couldn’t find a way to pay his debt from inside, which is a pretty naive assumption.”

Kathryn sighed. “I know that too. But I wasn’t looking that far ahead. And anything could have happened between now and then.”

“Sure. He might have died in prison. He might have seen the light and forsaken his blood debt. He might also have spent twenty years nursing not only a blood debt, but a new and even more personal grudge against both me and you for being the reason he was in prison. Which of those do you think was the most likely outcome?” She paused, giving her a chance to answer, but when none was forthcoming she added, “He was still a threat, Kathryn. I couldn’t leave it to chance. So I gave him what he wanted.” Her mouth twisted in a bitter smile. “The funny thing is that I hated him enough to want him to suffer in prison for twenty years. I wanted him to live with the knowledge that we had beaten him in every way, including taking away every bit of honor and his only means of escape. Even though I understand his motivation, I can’t help but hate what he’s done to us, and I sure as hell wanted him to suffer for what he was planning to do to me—and you by proxy. But I wanted this to end more.”

“You let him keep his honor,” Kathryn said as understanding dawned. “By allowing him to escape.”

Lynne nodded. “He smiled at me. He thought he was winning in the end. But he did exactly what I wanted him to do. It was the only way for us to be free. So no, his death is not a memory that will haunt me.”

“Are you sure about that?” Kathryn remembered the scene she’d witnessed upon entering the brig. Lynne had been staring at Gohat, her expression cold and her body rigid. She’d thought it was a natural reaction to facing the man who’d tried to kill her, but now she wondered.

“Do you want to know the memories that do haunt me?” Lynne asked. “Seeing Revi on the biobed in sickbay, dying from a Cardassian toxin. We were linked; I felt her fear when she couldn’t breathe. But that was nothing compared to Seven’s absolute terror at losing her—she was literally falling apart in her mind. Remember how I could hardly even stand up after getting Revi’s heart and lungs going again? That was a physical reaction to what Seven was feeling. And then there’s the memory of you on that ski slope, making a huge target out of yourself because you wouldn’t leave me behind. Revi almost died, Seven would have died right along with her—mentally and emotionally if not physically—and you could easily have died too.”

“I would have, if they’d actually gotten you that day,” Kathryn admitted. “The same way Seven would have if Revi had died.”

“I know,” Lynne said softly. “That’s what haunted me—seeing the people I love most in the world get caught in the middle of all this. Watching Gohat make the choice to die? No. It doesn’t qualify. Because his death means we’re all safe. All of us. And if letting him think he won was the price for that, then I was happy to pay it. I’m only sorry that you have to pay it, too.”

“All right,” said Kathryn, choosing not to verbalize her own doubt any further. It would do no good at this point. “I have to take your word on that. And if I’m talking to you as your wife and not Captain Janeway, then I also have to admit that I’m glad it’s over, really over. I don’t want either one of us to live under a sentence of death. But if we’re talking about haunting memories, do you know the memory that most haunts me? Seeing you on Terellia, dying in a pool of blood in the middle of the street. That haunts me. So just for the record—yes, losing you once was absolutely, unequivocally enough.”

Lynne visibly deflated as she tightened her grip on Kathryn’s hand. “I’m sorry. Truly sorry. I didn’t mean it, and it was low.”

“Yes, it was. About as low as you could go without actually putting a knife in me. You think I care about losing points with Necheyev? I care about losing you. How could you say that to me?” Her breath hitched at the end, and Lynne looked up in horror.

“Kathryn…god, please don’t. I’m so sorry.” Her voice was husky, the tears right at the surface as she lifted their linked hands to her lips. Her mouth was trembling, and Kathryn moved her chair closer to pull her into a hug.

“I know you are,” she whispered. “And I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this.” She felt the reassuring solidity of Lynne’s body in her arms, and suddenly her own body seemed to weigh twice as much as the realization hit her—it was finally over, in a way that it never would have been if her scheme had gone according to plan. It was true, Gohat might very well have been able to engineer a hit from inside prison. They would never have been safe. It hadn’t even been five weeks since Lynne had died on Terellia; the thought of losing her again made her insides twist into a knot. She was suddenly grateful beyond expression that this threat had been permanently lifted, and grateful to Lynne for lifting it, though she was certain her wife was not acknowledging the emotional price she would pay.

She tightened her arms, feeling the answering embrace and wishing they were anywhere but in a damned conference room on a ship that wasn’t even hers. It was a little alarming the way Lynne was holding on silently, without moving, and Kathryn knew she was falling off the edge. She kissed her cheek, stroked her hair, and kissed her again before finally resting their heads together. “We’re all right,” she murmured. “It’s over. And you made sure of it, and I’m glad, because I couldn’t have done it but you’re right, it was best this way. I don’t want to live like that either. It was killing both of us.”

“It was,” Lynne whispered. “I don’t even think I knew how much until now.”

“Neither did I,” Kathryn admitted.

“I’m sorry I went behind your back. I knew you’d be furious, and that was even without knowing that he was your bargaining chip. But I had to, Kathryn. I had to. I wish there had been another way without…” She couldn’t finish, a sudden sob shaking her body.

“Without making me angry?”

Lynne shook her head. “Without disappointing you,” she managed, then took in a great gulp of air.

Kathryn rubbed her back, trying to think how she could possibly respond, and only belatedly realizing that Lynne hadn’t let that breath out. “Lynne, breathe.”

The air came out explosively, followed by the sobs she’d been holding back, and Kathryn felt her own tears rising as she held on. I have a wife who can watch a man commit suicide and not blink. And then she falls apart because she knows she hurt me and she’s afraid of disappointing me.

“You are something else, do you know that?” she said. “What the hell am I going to do with you?”

Another head shake, but Lynne was bringing herself under control. “Fire me?” she asked.

In a very black sort of way, it was almost funny. “I may have to. Especially if you can be heard on the security logs telling a valuable intelligence asset that he’d better use his patch or lose the chance. I won’t be able to protect you from that.”

With a sniff, Lynne pulled back and straightened, wiping the tears off her cheeks. “They won’t hear me. I was barely even whispering when I said that.”

“You really thought of everything, didn’t you?”

Lynne looked at her sadly. “Everything except how to do that without getting on the wrong side of you. And then I made it even worse by saying that awful thing.” A fresh wash of tears overflowed, and she bent her head as she wiped them away. “I don’t know how you can forgive me,” she whispered.

“I think you might have hurt yourself with that worse than me,” Kathryn said, lifting Lynne’s head with a gentle hand. She brushed away a tear-dampened lock of hair, trying to soothe the devastation written so clearly in the watery eyes looking back at her. “And while I’ll never say it was okay, I do know you’ve been under more pressure than anyone should have to deal with.”

“And you haven’t? It’s not just me, Kathryn. But you seem to hold on to a lot more grace than I do.”

“No, I just dove back into the captain role and focused on the things I could control instead of the things I couldn’t. Which basically means I haven’t dealt with any of this at all. But as far as being disappointed in you…that’s not the issue here. I understand why you made that choice. It’s not the one I would have made, it’s on a thin moral edge, and it’s going to cause me a shipload of trouble. But I understand why you did it. I also notice that you told me right away. You could have lied, or just not said anything. That would have disappointed me.”

With a wan smile, Lynne said, “I already learned that lesson—the hard way. I’d never have lied to you about this. Besides, even if I’d considered it, I couldn’t let Revi take the blame.”

“Do you know, she might actually deserve it.” A shiver of comprehension went through Kathryn even as she spoke.

“What?”

“She went out that door saying she was going to file her report. I’ll bet you a month’s leave she’s going to take responsibility. And I’ll bet you a second month’s leave that she’s doing it for a very good reason. She has the same Collective knowledge of the Obsidian Order that you do. And she doesn’t make mistakes like this one.”

Lynne’s eyes were huge. “You think she intentionally left his patch?”

Kathryn’s mind was clicking over everything Revi had said. “With a totally clear conscience,” she said, shaking her head in wry amazement. “I never gave her the order. If I had, she’d have pulled it. Since I didn’t…she simply opted not to act independently. She broke no rules and countermanded no orders. And she gave him the opportunity to take care of all of our problems for us. Except for my explanation to Necheyev, that is, which she’ll do her best to smooth over.”

“You don’t know that,” said Lynne. “You’re guessing.”

“I am. And I’ll never ask her, because I don’t want to know. But her report will tell me a lot.”

“I won’t ask her either. But she’d better compartmentalize that little tidbit next time we link, because unlike you, I’d love to know.” She let out a long sigh and rubbed the stains of her tears away. “God, I’m tired of all this. I’m so tired of death. I just want us to live.”

“I know.” She shifted her hand to Lynne’s thigh and rubbed it gently, finding herself unable to tolerate not touching her somehow. “And we will. Starting right now.”

Lynne put her hand over Kathryn’s and looked at her intently. “You and I have to get the hell out of here. It’s summer in the southern hemisphere. I know some great beginner mountains we could get lost in.”

There was so much longing in her expression that it physically hurt to say no. “I really wish we could. But I have another week of engagements and debriefings. I’m free after that, though. Can you hang on just one more week?”

Lynne considered it for a moment, then shook her head. “No. I can’t. I’m going to explode if I have to wait one more day. I’m heading out tomorrow. Sorry, but I have to go.”

Instantly Kathryn was imagining twelve different ways Lynne could hurt herself trying to climb mountains in this frame of mind. “If I can get Revi to live without Seven for a few days, will you take her with you?”

“Doesn’t that kind of depend on whether Seven wants to go?”

Kathryn thought about their last Velocity game and said decisively, “She’ll want to go. Take my word for it.” Another thought occurred just then. “Wait. What about Barney?”

“Oh, shit!” Lynne’s eyes widened. “I forgot! What kind of a mother am I? Jesus. Okay, that’s all right. I can do day trips. Besides, tomorrow’s the day I offer him solid food for the first time. It’s all downhill from here.”

“Are you going to offer him a litter box tomorrow, too?”

“Yes. I must have read fifty different accounts on how to potty train a kitten; I’m becoming a damned expert on…” She trailed off, one side of her mouth lifting in a half-smile. “Are you distracting me?”

“Is it working?”

Lynne took a deep breath, visibly calming. “Yeah. It is. I think I really do need some kitten therapy.”

“You’ll be home in twenty minutes. We’ll beam you and Seven and Revi directly there. Save me some banana bread, okay?”

Instead of answering, Lynne picked up her hand, pressed her lips to it in a fervent kiss, and held it against her chest. “I love you.” There was so much of her heart in her eyes that Kathryn felt all her earlier pain drop away.

“I love you too.” She pulled Lynne back into an embrace, fully prepared to stay that way until they reached Earth orbit.

 

 

 

 

---

chapter 56

 

 

Only eight in the morning and it had already been a fuck of a day. The reporters from yesterday hadn’t been satisfied with just her official statement; they’d spent the entire day trying to get more. It was too juicy a story, and with most of the Hamilton clan going into hiding, Alison had been the only big name they could easily track down for a quote. Thank god for Matthew, her assistant. He’d shielded her like an old pro, which of course he was. But she’d arrived this morning to find a group of the more determined reporters waiting for her, knowing that she had to go through them to get into the building. For the love of God, could this be over already? She was tired of it.

On the other hand, yesterday had also brought her some of the best news she’d ever heard in her life. Kathryn and her people had done it. They’d captured the last assassin without a single person being hurt. Well, except for the assassin, of course, but that was his choice. And she couldn’t find it in her heart to feel the least bit sorry about it. Lynne had said she and the others involved—apparently they’d gotten a few crewmates to help—were all meeting for a night on the town in New York to celebrate. She’d seemed very excited about the chance to dress up and actually go out like a normal person. Alison only hoped she’d been allowed to enjoy it—she and Kathryn weren’t exactly low profile people.

Her musings were interrupted by Matthew, whose cheerful face appeared on her terminal. “Dr. Necheyev, you have a reporter waiting here who’d like to speak with you. She says she’s from the Hamilton Times?”

Alison’s initial displeasure morphed into amusement. “Does she now? Would that reporter be taller than Mile High Stadium and have her hair in a French braid?”

“Ah, I’m not certain about the stadium…” Matthew was far too well-mannered to join in her joking.

“Please show her in.” Alison stood up and was halfway across her office when the door opened, admitting Lynne and Seven of Nine. With a brilliant smile, Lynne walked straight up to her and enveloped her in a hug.

“Hey! Guess what I did today?” she said, releasing a somewhat breathless Alison.

“God, there’s no telling. Hello, Seven of Nine, good to see you,” she said, offering her hand.

“And you,” said Seven politely.

“I walked into a public transport building without a security escort! And then I transported over here and rented a hovercraft, also without an escort! Oh, and I waded through about fifty reporters getting in here. Jesus, Alison, you need a secret entrance or something.”

“Tell me about it. I’m thinking about digging a tunnel.” Alison tugged at the decidedly non-businesswear jacket. “Going mountain climbing in this?”

“Nope. Skiing. Though climbing was my original thought. I decided that I want to go back to Silverton and do it right this time. I have unfinished business on one particular run. And Seven was up for babysitting duty.”

“I’m under strict instructions from Kathryn to make sure she ‘warms up’ properly before attempting that run,” said Seven. “Though I’m unsure how effective I can be on skis.”

“Pretty effective,” said Lynne. “Because Kathryn is taking advantage of my natural protective instincts for you. She’s devious.”

Seven smiled at that, and Alison blinked in surprise. She’d never seen that woman smile and mother of God, she was gorgeous when she did.

“I believe that is the pot calling the kettle black,” Seven said.

Lynne shrugged. “That’s why we’re so good for each other.” Turning back to Alison, she asked, “How is Elise doing?”

“I’m not really sure. She went home early yesterday morning, but I don’t think she’s there now. I’ve called a couple of times, but she’s not picking up.” She tried not to let her unhappiness with that situation show on her face. She certainly had no claim on Elise and was not owed any explanations. But it hurt that she hadn’t gotten a call or even a message last night.

“I know exactly how she feels,” said Lynne, looking at her a little too closely. “You can’t always do your thinking in the company of others. She just needs a little space to breathe.”

So much for keeping her feelings off her face. “I know. And I’m giving it to her.” Not that she had any choice.

Lynne nodded. “Well, I have something else for you to give to her. It’s actually why I dropped by.” She pulled three PADDs out of her backpack and handed them over. “Reinstatement as my fund managers. For Elise, Charles and Brian. I’ve had Saator’s firm poring over the past records ever since our strategy meeting, and he tells me that those three were doing a good job. There’s no reason to keep them out anymore. I figured you’d know how to get a hold of them, and frankly I don’t want to take the time right now. Well, I would like to see Elise, but I’ll catch her later when she’s ready.”

Alison accepted the PADDs. “You’ve just made Charles a very happy man, and probably saved his marriage.”

“Is that a good thing?” asked Lynne doubtfully, and Alison couldn’t help but laugh.

“You learn fast. Anyway, thanks for these. Brian and Elise will be relieved, too. And I think it will have a special meaning for Elise. Do you want my resignation?”

“Do you want to give it?” Lynne gave her a knowing look. “Tell me, how many hours have you put in trying to get a handle on my accounts?”

“Ah…”

“That’s what I thought. You’ve done the work, I hardly think it’s fair to take away the reward. Even though I know that’s not why you did it.”

Alison, who had been about to protest, closed her mouth and shook her head. “Well, you’ll need to do a little adjustment on compensation.”

“No, I won’t.”

“What?”

“I just reinstated Elise, Charles and Brian at their original rates. And I don’t see any reason to change yours this year.”

“Sweet Jesus, Lynne! You’ll be paying out fifteen percent! That’s what people pay their loan sharks, not their financial advisors.” If Alison hadn’t known better, she’d have thought Lynne simply didn’t realize what she was doing.

“Right. Fifteen percent of something I never had and don’t particularly need. Which is not to say I’m not enjoying the idea of buying a nice piece of property for me and my friends, and building a couple of gorgeous houses, and not worrying about the financing. But I could do that on one percent of what I already have, never mind what I might make this year. Alison, you’ve earned it. We’ll let your pay revert to the standard two point five at the end of the year, but I think it’s a bit unfair to change it now.” She gave Alison a wink and added, “Maybe you can take someone to a deserted tropical island somewhere and do some real relaxing.”

Alison stood stock still, momentarily paralyzed by the scenes her imagination was serving up. Lynne patted her shoulder and said, “I recognize that look. For the record, you two seem really good together.”

“We’re not together,” said Alison.

Lynne smiled. “Not yet.”

 

 

-----

 

 

Seven enjoyed herself more than she’d expected. Despite the fact that it had been thirteen days since her first attempt at skiing, she seemed not to have lost any ability in the meantime. By the end of the day she was feeling quite confident on her skis—which did not translate in any way to a desire to join Lynne on her suicide run that afternoon. She still couldn’t believe that slope, nor that anyone could actually go over the edge and think of it as ‘fun’. But Lynne clearly did. After carefully examining the run and its environs, she handed the binoculars to Seven, hoisted her pack, and went over the edge with a whoop of sheer joy.

It was impossible not to think of the parallels with the last time she’d stood here, watching Lynne and Kathryn ski this run. For a moment her spine prickled in dread, waiting for disaster to strike, even though she knew empirically that it was perfectly safe. Still, she didn’t breathe easily until Lynne was at the bottom of the run, gliding to a stop and waving her arms at Seven. Soon the shuttle they’d hired appeared over the trees, beaming Lynne off the ground and soaring up the slope until it hovered nearly over Seven’s head. Lynne shimmered back into existence, her grin nearly splitting her face.

“FUCK that was great!” she shouted. “Sorry, Seven, I hope you don’t get bored, but I have to do this a few more times. Like maybe twenty.”

Her happiness was contagious, and Seven gave her an impromptu hug. “I’ll never get bored watching you smile like that,” she said.

It seemed barely possible, but Lynne’s grin grew even wider. She leaned in and kissed Seven on the cheek. “You’re the best.”

“True,” said Seven modestly, and Lynne laughed.

“Okay, make yourself comfortable. Wait in the shuttle if you want.”

Seven waved the shuttle off. “No, thank you. I’m enjoying the air.”

“Really?” Lynne had been ready to launch herself over again, but now she paused. “Did I just hear you say that?”

“I never had a true basis for comparison before. But when we beamed back yesterday, I was able to detect a qualitative difference between the air in the ships, and the air on Gretchen’s farm. And I much prefer the air on her farm.” Seven sniffed appreciatively. “But I prefer this more. You were correct, mountains have a distinctive odor.”

Lynne grinned again. “They do. And they smell even more fantastic in the summer, in a whole different way. Warm and dry and piney.” She shoved her poles in the snow, tensed her body—and stopped. “Seven? Do you think you could live in a place like this?”

Seven looked around at the snow-covered peaks carpeted in tall conifers, all pointing up to an intense blue sky. There was a quality of silence here that she had never before experienced, and she found it very appealing. And most of all, there was the air.

“Yes,” she said.

Lynne looked at her seriously, nodded once, and slipped over the edge. This time, daring fate halfway down, she performed a full backflip off a jump—a move apparently designed specifically to accelerate Seven’s heart rate. From far below, the tiny sound of her whoop floated up.

Seven unfolded a tarp, laid it on the snow and sat down. This was going to take some time.

 

 

-----

 

 

Kathryn wrapped up her speech in the main square of São Paulo, waved at the sea of cheering people, and gratefully stepped off the stage into the shade. “Oh, thank you,” she said to the young ensign who was already holding out a cold drink with a straw protruding. “Mm! What is this?”

“Iced coffee,” said the ensign. “It’s a specialty around here.”

“I think I may come here more often,” mumbled Kathryn, sucking down a quarter of the glass. “God, that’s good.”

The ensign beamed, clearly thrilled to have made her happy. “I also have a message for you from Admiral Necheyev.” He handed over a PADD. Without taking her lips from the straw, Kathryn thumbed the PADD and promptly stopped breathing. The text message was short and sweet; five simple words that took the last burden of her Voyager captaincy off her shoulders.

The Council voted in favor.

 

 

-----

 

 

“Shouldn’t you be doing this with Kathryn?” asked Seven.

Lynne settled the hovercraft in the clearing and powered down the engines. “Kathryn’s in Brazil, and she’s got engagements all over the world for the rest of the week. You and I are here, right now, and this is the time. I haven’t been able to even think of doing this before now.”

“Would waiting four more days make that much difference?”

Lynne had already opened the door on her side. “Yes, it would.” She got out and closed the door.

With a shrug, Seven followed. The late afternoon light slanted through the pines, highlighting the patches of snow on the ground. They were at a much lower elevation, and she found the environmental differences intriguing. The trees were larger, the temperature higher, the snow only patchy instead of a uniform thick blanket of white…and it smelled different as well. She took a deep breath, trying to analyze the variables.

“It’s the temperature,” said Lynne, watching her. “It’s warmer, and that allows different scents to be released. The air turns more pure when it’s colder. Personally, I love the richness down here.”

“I never truly valued my olfactory sense until we came to Earth,” said Seven. “It has been a revelation.”

Lynne smiled. “After a lifetime in space, I can imagine. Come on, let’s see how much things have changed in three hundred and seventy-seven years.”

“Besides the absence of the town?” Seven fell in beside her as they began walking upslope along a stream.

“Yeah, that was a surprise. Though it shouldn’t be; that town only existed to serve the ski resort, and I suspect skiing wasn’t high on most people’s list when World War Three broke out and Denver was bombed.”

“It seems odd that the roads are gone as well,” said Seven. “Even without a town, the roads would still have served travelers through the mountains. And even if they had been abandoned immediately, how could there be so few signs after less than four centuries?”

“Because we sucked at road building. The Romans built for the centuries. We built for a couple of years. No, seriously,” she said in response to Seven’s look of skepticism. “We used a soft blend of tar, sand, and crushed rocks. Not exactly weather impermeable. People always thought of it as a hard surface, but when I was a kid, in really hot weather I’d go out and stick my pocketknife into the road just to watch it stand on end.”

“Your roads changed viscosity with normal air temperatures?” Seven found this incomprehensible.

“Yeah. Soft in the summer and brittle in winter. Water got in during the winter and froze.”

“Which would cause fissures and heaving.”

“Right. Our roads had to be repaved every few years or they became practically impassable.”

“How could such an inefficient method stay in use?”

“Because in the short term it was cheap, and that’s all anyone cared about. So you can imagine what just a hundred years would do, let alone four centuries. I know there are still a lot of the old roads in hot, arid places like the southwest, but up here? No way. Too much weather and too many plants tearing things up.” She paused, looking down at the stream, which was now being joined by a smaller rivulet from the north. “Okay, is this Beaver Creek or Spencer Creek?”

Seven kept silent, giving Lynne the time she needed to find her bearings. She had never, not once in her life, attempted to walk through unmarked land without a tricorder or similar instrument. Lynne was doing this from memory, with no navigational aids, and in a place where most of her remembered landmarks had long vanished.

“I think it’s Spencer,” Lynne decided. “In which case…” She waded the stream and motioned Seven over. “We need to go up that ridge.”

“Now I understand,” said Seven. “You didn’t want to drag Kathryn all over the countryside while attempting to find your way.”

“I knew you’d figure it out.”

As it turned out, the rivulet had been Beaver Creek, and they’d had to backtrack to the first stream, go uphill another kilometer, and then strike off to the northwest again. This time they topped a ridge that looked into a small valley, and Lynne clutched Seven’s hand. “God, Seven, this is it,” she said in a hushed voice. Letting go, she set off at a brisk pace, cutting straight down the ridge in long strides. Seven chased after her, and by the time they reached the bottom Lynne was running.

They ran halfway across the valley floor, with Seven unable to close the gap until Lynne suddenly stopped, turning in circles and looking around with an almost despairing air. “It’s here, I know it, but everything’s so different…”

Seven looked around as well, wanting to help, willing herself to find something to take that look off Lynne’s face. After the joy she’d seen earlier today, this was hard to watch. She moved off a few steps, scanning the area, and then paused as her optical implant picked up an unnaturally straight line of rocks. They were buried under brush, but still noticeable in the infrared due to their radiation of heat from the day’s sun. “Lynne?” she said hesitantly. “Is this what you’re looking for?”

Lynne followed her, not seeing anything until Seven began pulling back the brush.

“Oh,” she breathed, and joined Seven in pulling the brush. “Oh, my god, my god…” With her bare hands she began digging, first slowly and then, as more rocks were exposed, with an energy that bordered on the frantic. Throwing the damp soil in all directions with a total lack of concern for her own clothing, she soon uncovered an unmistakeable right angle. The manic energy left her body and she sat down quite suddenly, wiping her cheek with the back of her dirty hand. “Seven—” Her voice cracked. “It’s the fireplace.”

Seven crouched beside her, not quite as willing as Lynne to let the dampness soak into her pants. “Where was the fireplace?” she asked gently.

Tears were coursing down Lynne’s cheeks, but when she looked at Seven she was smiling. “In the living room. We’re sitting in my parents’ living room. The kitchen was there—” she pointed — “and the utility room was over there, and our bedrooms were upstairs.” She let out a laugh, a half-strangled sound that seemed on the verge of a sob.

“Seven, I’m home.”

 

 

 

 

---

chapter 57

 

 

Alison took her plate to the kitchen table along with her PADD. The news she’d downloaded was all about the Council’s vote for amnesty, and she was enjoying reading the varied political opinions on how it had come about, which factors had swayed which members, and why Gutierrez had suddenly taken a stand for the greater good. Overall, public opinion was certainly in Gutierrez’ favor, which made Alison snicker. If people only knew what went on behind closed doors.

The beep from her terminal startled her, setting her heart beating at an unreasonably rapid pace. She hurried to the panel and felt instantly depressed upon reading the FedComm ID. Though she was always happy to talk to Lynne, that wasn’t the name she’d been waiting two days to see. Where was Elise?

With a sigh, she accepted the call—and smiled in spite of herself at the view that greeted her. “I thought you were skiing, not rolling in mud.”

Lynne swiped at her face and grinned. “Well, we just got back to the hovercraft from a little hike. I found my parents’ house!”

“You’re kidding! It’s still there?”

“The base of the fireplace is. I suppose if I went in there with a phaser I could see if the foundation is still intact, but…I don’t need to. Look.” She held up a rock with palpable pride. “This is my history. I’m taking it home. I can’t believe it, Alison. It was incredible. I just sat down in the dirt and laughed and cried.”

“Oh, so your ass is as muddy as your face?” Alison’s prior bad mood had vanished.

“Wet, too.” Lynne winked. “Want to see?”

Laughing, Alison declined. “I’m sure it’s lovely, but that sort of thing is really Kathryn’s province.”

“No, Seven saw it too.” Lynne was practically giddy. “I’m going to dig up every one of those rocks, and when Kathryn and I decide where to live, I’m building a new house and laying a fireplace with them.”

“Then you’ll never, ever be able to sell that house.”

“No way.”

Alison didn’t know where they came from, but the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. “Let me design it for you?”

“The house?”

“Yes. I did mine, and I had such a good time doing it. It would be fun to do yours, too.”

“Shit, Alison, I didn’t know you designed your house! It’s beautiful!”

“Thank you,” Alison said modestly. “But you actually haven’t seen most of it.” A thought occurred to her. “Hey. You’re in the area, right?”

“Yeah, we’re about a twenty-minute flight away.”

“Come over. I’m not doing anything, and you could get the house tour. And maybe clean up a little before you go home and try to kiss your poor wife.”

“I’d love to. Wait—hang on. Seven? Feel like a detour past Alison’s house?” She looked back. “Seven’s game. We’ll pop by. We can’t stay long, though—Gretchen’s babysitting Barney and I promised to be home for the evening feeding. He took solid food this morning, by the way.”

“Your baby is growing up. I’d better get to see him before he stops being a kitten.”

“Come over whenever you want to. Having guests isn’t nearly so difficult as it used to be.”

They signed off, and fifteen minutes later she was just dropping her dish into the replicator when the security perimeter alarm beeped. Congratulating herself on her good timing, she hit the video feed to make sure it was her guests and not a reporter. The face that appeared on the screen nearly stopped her heart.

“Hi, Alison,” said Elise. “Sorry to drop by without warning, but…can I talk to you?”

“Ah…yes, of course. But check behind you, I’ve got Lynne and Seven on their way.”

She seemed a little crestfallen at this news. “I’m sorry. It was rude of me not to call first. Why don’t I just go home and—”

“Elise,” said Alison firmly, “get in here. They’re only staying for a short while.” I’m hoping you’ll stay longer.

“Okay. I’ll be right in.”

Alison scrambled upstairs to brush her teeth and was back down again just as the chime rang. She opened the door and paused, simply letting herself enjoy the beauty of Elise Hamilton standing on her porch. “Hi,” she said. “Come in out of the cold.”

Elise stepped inside as Alison shut the door behind her. “I know I should have called—”

“Are you all right?” Alison interrupted.

“Yes, I’m fine.”

“Did you come here to tell me you need some space?”

Elise blinked. “No…”

“Good.” Alison stepped right into her and drew her down for the kiss she’d been thinking about for two days. It was gentle and loving, and as Elise relaxed into it, Alison just barely slid the tip of her tongue across a soft upper lip. Elise jerked, then intensified her embrace and put a hand on the back of Alison’s head, holding her very firmly in place as she let Alison know precisely what that did to her.

The perimeter chime broke them apart, panting a little. “Hold that thought,” said Alison. “I plan to pick that up again just as soon as we can.”

Elise could only nod as Alison went to the panel. “Hi, ladies. Come on in.” She dropped the security field, watched the hovercraft cross it and reactivated the field. Two steps took her back to Elise’s arms. “That gives us about three minutes to finish saying hello.”

This time Elise was ready for her, and they managed to pack a lot into three minutes. By the time the door chime rang, Alison was seriously regretting her invitation for the house tour, but she ran her fingers through her hair and prepared to make the best of it.

Opening the door, she took one look at Lynne and started to laugh. “You weren’t kidding, were you? I’m not sure I should let you in my house.”

“I brushed most of it off,” Lynne said. “What’s left is stuck to me, so you should be safe.”

Alison stepped back. “If anything falls off, you’re picking it up. Hi, Seven, how was the skiing?”

“Very good,” said Seven as she entered. “I’m making progress.”

“She’s being modest,” said Lynne, coming in behind her. “Seven’s one of the most natural skiers I’ve ever known.” Her eyes went past Alison and widened slightly. “Elise! I wondered who that hovercraft belonged to. Did you get some thinking done?”

Alison closed the door and turned in time to see an almost comically startled look on Elise’s face.

“Yes,” she said slowly. “I got quite a lot of thinking done. Did Alison tell you that was what I was doing?”

“No, she just said you were out of touch. I read between the lines. I’ve been doing some thinking today, too.”

Elise finally smiled. “Thinking for you involves skiing and mud?”

“Mostly it just involves getting the hell out. I’ve been trapped like a rat in a cage.”

“Sounds familiar,” Elise agreed. “Though I have to say, my cage was an extremely pleasant one.” She shot a look at Alison.

“Okay, let’s do the cage tour,” said Alison. “Those boots are coming off, Lynne. Seven, you too.”

Her guests obediently took off their boots, while Alison tried very hard not to be overly sensitized to Elise’s presence next to her. The jangling along her nerves faded as she conducted the tour, settling into hostess mode as Seven, of all people, began asking specific questions about why she’d chosen certain angles and heights. Alison had never heard the woman talk this much in all the times she’d seen her, so it was a surprise to find herself fielding this flow of questions. It was immediately apparent that Seven had the mind of a mathematician, along with spectacular spatial awareness. While Lynne understood the general impressions Alison had tried to evoke in her design, Seven understood precisely how she’d attained them. By the time they finished up the tour in the conservatory, Seven announced that she would like to design her own home, too.

“Before or after the wedding?” teased Lynne.

“Seven, you’re engaged?” Elise asked.

“Yes. Revi and I were engaged six months ago. I wanted to be married right away, but she insisted on a waiting period. We have six months left to go.”

Alison frowned. “How did I not know this?”

“Because you never asked?” Seven offered.

As the others laughed, Alison shook her head. “All right, I deserved that one. But some people, who shall remain unnamed but with whom I have been spending a great deal of time lately, could have mentioned this little fact to me.”

“Ah, but that’s Seven and Revi’s business, not mine,” said Lynne.

“Where is the wedding going to be?” asked Elise.

“I don’t know.” Seven seemed puzzled. “We haven’t discussed it.”

“You only have six months to plan a wedding and you haven’t discussed it?” Elise was astonished.

Seven turned to Lynne in confusion. “How long do we require? You planned yours in ten days.”

“Ten days?” repeated Alison and Elise in unison.

“Well, it’s not like we had to reserve a reception hall and hire a caterer,” said Lynne defensively. “We just had to pick out a decent unoccupied planet and replicate enough food and drinks for the crew.”

“So you just, what, beamed down to a planet, got married and then flew off?” asked Elise.

“Not exactly. We landed the ship and spent five days doing a complete overhaul. Then we got married, right there in the field beneath the ship.”

“And then the crew had two weeks of shore leave,” Seven added. “But they were confined to one of the planet’s two continents. Lynne and Kathryn had the other for their honeymoon.”

“You had an entire continent for your honeymoon?” Alison couldn’t wrap her mind around it, and had to laugh instead. “You really know how to show a girl a good time.”

“Alison,” said Lynne in a slow drawl, “you don’t know the half of it.”

The tone of voice reminded all of Alison’s nerve endings about the good time they might be having, if only they were alone with the object of their interest. It took an immense force of will not to look at Elise, though Lynne’s knowing smile indicated that her effort was showing on the surface. She shot Lynne an exasperated look.

“Will it take longer than ten days to plan a wedding here?” asked Seven.

“That depends on how much stress you want. The more stress you’d like to achieve, the longer you can take planning it. Come on, Seven, I have a kitten to feed and you need to talk to Revi about weddings and houses…and maybe think about a proposal I’d like to pitch at you.” Mercifully, Lynne began to lead them back toward the door, while Alison tried to maintain her hostess manners and not look as eager for their departure as she actually was. She thought she was home free when her guests were putting on their boots, but Lynne suddenly stopped and said, “Oh! I forgot why I called you in the first place—the amnesty!”

Now Alison felt guilty. “I can’t believe I didn’t say anything. I was reading the news when you called. Lynne, congratulations, that is so wonderful. I know how much this means to you.”

“It means even more to one of my best friends. And to Kathryn; she’s never been able to really relax about being home until now. Well, aside from the…anyway, she called from São Paulo and god, she was so happy. It was pretty cute.” She smiled, then shook her head and added, “But that’s not why I was calling. I wanted to invite you to the party.”

“That’s right, the party’s on now. Where will you have it?”

“On Voyager. Kathryn already got permission from Starfleet. We’re going to decorate the shuttle bay, and have the doors wide open with the view of San Francisco, and let our hair down. No admirals and no speeches. And since you were right there with me for all of this, I think you should join us for the celebration. Besides which, you’re the reason that ship is sitting in San Francisco instead of floating in a billion pieces somewhere in the Delta Quadrant. A lot of my friends are going to want to meet the woman who saved their asses.”

Not sure she wanted that kind of attention, Alison said, “It sounds like a great party, but—”

“Please don’t say no.” Having finished strapping on her second boot, Lynne rose to her full height, pinning Alison with a serious gaze. “They deserve the chance to thank you.”

“I agree,” said Seven. “Parties are not my favored activity either, but this is one neither Revi nor I would miss. I would hope to see you there.”

“Alison, are you kidding, you have to go!” said Elise. “After what you did, you’re just going to fade into the background now? I agree with Lynne and Seven; that crew deserves the chance to thank you to your face.”

Alison sighed. “When will it be?”

“Saturday, sixteen hundred hours. Enough time to enjoy the sight of San Francisco in daylight, and then watch night fall. Live music and dancing,” Lynne added in an encouraging tone.

“Do I get to bring a guest?”

“Of course.”

She turned to Elise. “Will you come?”

Caught, Elise said, “Oh, I don’t think that would be appropriate.”

“Why not?”

“Because my mom’s the one you saved them from! I think that party’s the last place I should be.”

“That is completely illogical,” said Seven. “Not only are you not responsible for your mother’s actions, but you directly enabled yesterday’s mission. Lynne is free right now because of you.”

“Damn straight,” Lynne agreed. “So knock that shit off and come to the party. If you won’t come as Alison’s guest, then come at my personal invitation.” As Elise hesitated, she added, “Please.”

Their eyes locked, and Alison wasn’t quite sure what passed between them, but Elise finally nodded. “Okay. I’ll come. Is it formal?”

“Slightly. Dress uniforms.” Lynne got a wicked smile on her face. “Mostly because I want to see Kathryn in hers.”

“I don’t understand your fascination,” said Seven. “Kathryn has been wearing her dress uniform to every one of her speeches and appearances. If anything, she has been wearing it more often than her standard uniform. If the appeal is based on rarity, then you should be getting excited about her standard uniform instead.”

“And exactly how many of those speeches and appearances have I been able to attend? Besides, those are different.”

“Why?”

“Because she wasn’t wearing the uniform for me.” Lynne reached around her to open the door. “I’m really glad you’re both coming. Thanks for saying yes. Alison, don’t forget to give Elise the PADD.”

They exchanged their goodbyes, and Alison closed the door with considerable relief. She tapped the auto-release command on her security panel—which would drop the field for any craft approaching from the inside, then automatically raise it again—and turned to Elise. “God, I feel guilty.”

“Why?”

“Because when I invited them over, I really wanted them to come. And the moment you appeared on that screen, I really wanted them to stay the hell away. I’m such a bad hostess.”

Elise smiled. “Not in my experience. So what was that about the PADD?”

“Right.” Alison snapped her fingers and went into the kitchen, where her briefcase was still sitting on the chair. “Now it’s just a question of which one…aha.” She pulled out the PADD and handed it to Elise.

Activating it, Elise quickly scanned the file, then raised her eyes to Alison’s. “She reinstated me.”

“She reinstated all of you.”

Elise sagged into the nearest chair. “Well, fuck.”

Puzzled, Alison said, “Somehow I thought you’d be happier.”

“It’s just…it was all for nothing. So much damage for nothing at all.” Elise slid the PADD onto the table. “This actually hurts. It’s proof that Mom was wrong in every way.”

“I don’t think Lynne meant it quite that way.”

“I know.” Elise rubbed her face and leaned back against the chair. “Well, I wish I’d had the chance to thank her before she left.”

“You can call her. You could go visit. For that matter, we could both go visit. I want to see her kitten.”

“She has a kitten?”

“She rescued it. They found it nearly dead in Ms. Janeway’s barn. She’s been bottle feeding him for a week, but she said he took solid food for the first time today.”

“So the big bad threat to my future rescues kittens. And bottle feeds them.” Elise shook her head. “Oh, the irony.”

Alison leaned against the table facing her, close enough so that their legs were touching, and crossed her arms over her chest to keep them out of trouble. It looked like they needed to get a few things out of the way. “I’m really glad you’re here,” she said.

“I’m glad to be here.”

“Did the thinking help?”

“Yes. A little bit. I just had to get away from Denver, and everything that’s been going on.”

“Including me, hm?” She could understand that, though it didn’t exactly feel good.

Elise didn’t correct her. “I felt like I’d imposed long enough. You brought me home for an overnight stay and ended up with a slightly hysterical guest for the entire weekend, including a delightful visit to the Detention Center.”

“Did I ever give you the impression that you were a burden?”

“No, but as I said, you’re a gracious hostess.”

“I’m not usually a hostess at all.” Alison let that sink in. “What was it that you wanted to talk about? You said that’s why you came.”

Elise reached out to touch her leg, rubbing her hand lightly over the fabric. “Right. I, ah…whoo.” She laughed nervously. “This was a lot easier when I was alone in my cabin.”

“Maybe you should just pretend I’m not here,” Alison suggested. “That might help.”

“That wouldn’t help at all. I need you to be here. I just…” She took a deep breath. “Alison, my whole life got turned upside down this week. And you held me together. Part of me is looking at you and seeing a rock in the whirlpool, a place I can hold onto. And part of me is thinking that’s not fair to you at all. You don’t need someone clinging to you.”

“I’ve known you for a long time,” said Alison. “Not so intimately, of course, but you can tell a lot about a person from the way they live their lives. And I have never thought of you as a person who would cling.”

“I never had a reason to. But I would have happily stayed here for another week, because it’s been so easy with you. Too easy—I really didn’t want to leave. Which is why I did.”

“Wait a minute. You left because you didn’t want to leave?” Now that was some twisted logic.

“I meant to go home, and get back to my life and out of your hair. So that when I saw you again, it wouldn’t be as your hysterical guest. It would be as me.”

This made slightly more sense. She motioned for Elise to continue.

“So I walked in my house and found the mess from cribbage night still sitting there. It was like Miss Haversham’s table—a perfect line between the life I had before, and the one I have now. Picking up that mess was almost metaphorical. And then I found the one hundred and sixty-eight requests for an interview on my comm unit, and the security panel started to chime before I’d even finished looking at them…and I packed up and got the hell out. I couldn’t think there. I had five goddamned reporters chasing me when I went through the security field. I finally dumped them by flying straight to the Detention Center, if you can believe it. They beamed me to the transport center and I went to our family cabin in Maine. I haven’t even been home yet.”

“That explains why you didn’t return my calls.”

“You called me?”

“I can’t believe you’re surprised at that. Of course I called you. I was worried about you.” That was clearly not the right thing to say, so she hastily added, “And I wanted to see you.”

“I thought you’d appreciate the break.”

“Elise, for God’s sake. I missed you. I was a little hurt that you didn’t call me for almost two days.” She saw the impact of that and shook her head. “Okay, I see what’s going on here. And I understand why you’d feel the need to regain a position of strength. I guess the difference between you and me is that I didn’t see you as losing that strength in the first place. Miss Haversham never picked up the mess.”

A light dawned in Elise’s eyes as she said, “No, she didn’t. Actually I never figured out how she could stand the sight of that rotting cake.”

“Right. That’s not your style, and it’s not you. You don’t have to prove yourself to me, and I don’t need a break. So can we just acknowledge that we’ve got something special happening here, and that neither one of us wants to back away from it?”

The light grew brighter. “Yes. Happily, on my end.”

“Good. Is that what you needed to talk about?”

Elise dropped her gaze. “Uh…not all of it, no.” She took another deep breath. “That something special you mentioned? I’ve never had anything like it before. And I don’t want to fuck it up. So I thought I’d better tell you right from the start that I don’t know what I’m doing. I know how to be a great date, and I know how to give a woman what she wants. You were totally right when you said I was used to being the dominant one in my relationships. But—” she gave Alison a knowing look— “that is obviously not going to fly with you. You’re out of my comfort zone, which intrigues the hell out of me and scares me to death, all at the same time.”

Alison waited to see if anything else was coming, but Elise was looking at her expectantly. “Okay,” she began. “Then I have just two things to say. One, you’re out of my comfort zone as well, in a whole lot of ways. But that’s how I know this is special.”

Elise blinked. “I never thought about it that way.”

“You thought you were the only one a little scared of this?” Alison didn’t even need an answer to that one; it was written all over Elise’s face.

“Well…you seem so sure of yourself.”

“I’m sure of myself. I’m just not sure of you. Which is why not hearing from you for two days was hard for me.”

“Oh.” Clearly this was taking some processing. “Well, so far I’m not getting any points for knowing what you’re thinking. I really thought I should give you some breathing room.”

“Will you trust me to tell you if I need that? Then you won’t have to guess what I’m thinking.”

“Okaaay,” said Elise doubtfully. “But I have to tell you, that’ll be new for me.” In a lower voice, almost to herself, she added, “Who am I kidding, this is all new for me.”

Alison considered that. “When was the last time you worried about whether a lover needed breathing space?”

“Um…never. Because I was always the one who needed it.”

“That’s what I thought.” Alison was beginning to realize that Elise had been the dominant one in more ways than just sexual. No wonder this was tying her up in knots.

“What about you?” asked Elise.

“I haven’t worried about it too much either. Until now, for some odd reason.”

Elise smiled, her confidence visibly improved. “Will you trust me to tell you if I need that?”

“I trust you,” said Alison, answering a question that hadn’t been asked.

Elise looked at her for a long, silent moment, then nodded. “All right, what’s the second thing?”

This was much easier, and Alison couldn’t stop the smile as she said, “The second thing is—I happen to think your ability to give a woman what she wants is a definite bonus.”

She saw that hit right where she’d intended, and it took Elise a moment to recover her equilibrium.

“So…we’re on the same page?” Elise asked.

“I believe so, yes. And we have a quorum, so anything we decide here is valid and actionable.”

With a chuckle, Elise said, “Suddenly I’m envisioning you, me and a boardroom table in a whole different way.”

Alison didn’t laugh. She couldn’t, because all of the air had suddenly been sucked out of the room. All she could do was watch as her own thoughts were mirrored in those mesmerizing gray eyes. Without another word, Elise shifted her legs apart and tugged Alison between them. Slowly she pulled Alison’s shirt out from her pants, pushed up the fabric and laid a very soft kiss on the skin of her stomach. “A bonus,” she murmured, looking at the skin she’d exposed and lightly drawing her fingers across it. Alison shivered. “Let’s make a deal, shall we? Since we’re on the same page, how about I do what I want, and we’ll see if you want it too.”

“Deal.” Her knees went weak as Elise pressed her lips right in the curve of her waist.

“Good. Because I’ve been thinking about this quite a lot today.”

Alison jerked in surprise as Elise’s fingers went to her waistband and unfastened her pants. Apparently they were getting right to the point, but she wasn’t about to object. “Just today?” she managed. “Christ, you’re behind the times.”

But no, Elise wasn’t getting to the point. She was simply exposing the rest of Alison’s stomach, and exploring every centimeter of it with her lips and tongue, all with the utmost gentleness and a total lack of urgency. Sweet Jesus, how did she know that felt so good? Alison couldn’t remember another lover ever spending so much time on a non-erogenous zone. She didn’t even consider her stomach to be that sexy. Perhaps she’d have to reconsider that opinion, given the way Elise was touching her.

All that concentration on one area must have heightened her sensitivity elsewhere, because she nearly jumped out of her skin when Elise locked eyes with her and slid one hand up her torso and between her breasts, stopping on her upper chest and holding it there. Instinctively Alison laid her own hand on top, feeling the warmth through her shirt. It was an astonishingly intimate gesture, a connection she hadn’t expected, and for several seconds neither of them moved. Then Elise brought her hand back down, held Alison firmly by her sides, and slowly rose to her feet. Their mouths came together before she even finished standing, and this time when Alison touched her tongue to Elise’s lips she was granted immediate entry. They explored each other with a shared intensity, neither one taking or giving control, and Alison began to understand what Elise had meant by what she wanted.

As if hearing her thoughts, Elise broke off the kiss while wrapping her arms around Alison and squeezing tightly. “You feel wonderful, just like this. I want this to take a long, long time.”

“So do I.” Alison kissed the side of her jaw, her cheek, and then gently sucked on the lobe of her ear, smiling to herself at the sharp intake of breath. She let go, moved just above the ear, and whispered, “This is good?”

“God!” Elise gripped her even more tightly. “Yes, it’s good.”

“Mmm,” Alison purred, without moving a millimeter. “I think I’ve discovered something.” Elise twitched, and Alison gave herself a mental thumbs up. If merely putting her mouth to Elise’s ear and speaking could produce that strong an effect, what would happen if she used her tongue?

When she made contact, Elise turned to gelatin. “Alison…oh my God, that’s deadly. I’m not…” Ducking her head, she squirmed away from Alison’s touch, already breathing hard. “Okay. Enough. I won’t be able to stand up.”

“Then maybe we should go upstairs.”

When Elise nodded, Alison took her by the hand and led her out. They made it halfway up the stairs before she decided she couldn’t wait quite that long and stopped for a kiss along the way. Being a step above gave her a height advantage which she instantly put to good use as she captured Elise’s lips and ran her hands through her soft hair. Breaking off the kiss, she tilted her head to watch her fingers combing the black strands, fascinated by a color so different from her own. “I think black is my new favorite color,” she said.

Elise smiled. “I’ve discovered a sudden partiality for blond, myself.”

“Eh. Blond is so common. But a real black like yours…”

“Is incredibly common in most of the world. Not to mention Vulcan, and Betazed, and—” She was unable to finish the sentence as Alison kissed her, and by the time this one ended, she’d apparently forgotten whatever it was she’d meant to say. Alison took further advantage of her location to try out her new favorite technique, once again reducing Elise to a boneless state as she nibbled on her ear. It really was remarkable, the instant effect this had on Elise’s breathing.

Elise suddenly straightened, pulling away from Alison’s teasing tongue and stepping up beside her. A moment later Alison found herself against the wall, with an extremely passionate woman kissing her as if her very life depended on it. Warm hands were sliding up her back, her bra was deftly unsnapped, the hands slid back to rest on the sides of her breasts…and then Elise stopped, pulling her head back as she tried to get her breathing under control. “I thought you wanted this to take a long time!”

“I did. I do.” Alison was having difficulty with speech.

“Then you can’t do that to me. Just…you can’t.” Elise laughed helplessly. “I’ve always been sensitive there, but good lord, not like this!” She suddenly seemed to notice where her hands were resting. “Oh, God…” With the look of a woman voluntarily giving up food and water for a week, she dropped her hands back to Alison’s waist and leaned their foreheads together. “I don’t want to do this on the stairs. But if you keep pushing me like that, we won’t make it to the bedroom.”

For her part, Alison wasn’t so sure she approved Elise’s sudden restraint. Those hands had felt very good right where they were, and she’d been eagerly anticipating their movement just a little further. “All right, I won’t do that anymore. But…” Her own hands slid up Elise’s shirt. “…the next time you touch me here, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t stop. In fact, I’d prefer it if…” She moved her hands in and cupped Elise’s breasts, gently squeezing.

Elise closed her eyes and let out a low sound of pure pleasure. “Okay, I get it. Bedroom?”

Alison released her, grabbed one of her hands, and practically dragged her the rest of the way up the stairs. At the top Elise stopped her for another kiss, this time wrapping both arms around her and holding her so tightly that Alison had very little room to maneuver—not that she particularly wanted to. It felt good being held like this, as if Elise didn’t ever want to let her go.

They finally managed to get through the bedroom doorway, where Alison paused long enough to set the environmental control for a tropical level. Still holding Elise’s hand, she led her to the foot of the bed, gave her a scorching kiss, and reached for the hem of her own shirt. She wanted it off, and most of all she wanted that loose bra off. But Elise stopped her hands. “No. Let me.”

It was a little odd, and a little out of Alison’s experience. She wasn’t accustomed to being undressed. Not like this, not with such slow care. Passion she was used to. But this was almost maternal, and it made her uncomfortable until she realized that it wasn’t maternal, but a close cousin of it: nurturing. Elise was taking quiet care with her, making sure that nothing got caught and that she was never in an awkward position, and it changed the tone of their lovemaking. By the time Elise had slowly, gently drawn the bra down her arms and draped it over the shirt at the foot of the bed, Alison’s own passion had deepened into a need for a different kind of connection. She stepped into Elise and kissed her, holding her face with both hands, trying to communicate her new need in the only way she could. And when she pulled back to look into those gray eyes, she saw a true joy there. They were on the same page.

“Alison…” Elise’s smile was brilliant as she lightly ran her fingertips across Alison’s shoulders. “You are so, so beautiful. God, look at you.” She traced her collarbones, went down her arms to her fingertips, came back up again and paused. With that same perfect care, she slid her hands in to brush the undersides of Alison’s breasts, then cupped their weight as she stared. At last she bent down and pressed her lips to the sloping curve, so softly as to be almost indistinguishable from the touch of her fingertips. Gradually she kissed all around the breast and then, with a gentleness that liquified Alison’s spine, took the nipple into her mouth.

“Oh,” Alison whispered, her hand coming up behind Elise’s head to hold her in place. “That feels so good.”

In answer, Elise cupped the other breast and held its nipple between her forefinger and thumb, not squeezing but simply letting Alison know she was there. With both nipples being so sweetly attended to, Alison floated in a moment of perfect peace, watching the dark head at her breast and wondering exactly what she’d done to deserve something so beautiful.

Elise raised her head, covered the breast she had just left with her hand, and lightly trapped the now very erect nipple between two fingers as she switched sides and began all over again. She was just as unhurried and gentle with this one, leaving Alison torn between never wanting it to stop, and dying to do the same thing to Elise. By the time Elise covered that breast and straightened, Alison’s need had very definitely shifted toward the latter.

“My turn,” she said throatily, putting her hands at the hem of Elise’s shirt. As she pulled it off, her eyes went straight to the bra. “Oh God. It’s the same one.”

“What?”

“Your bra.” Alison was already running her fingers over the swelling breasts so gorgeously framed by the lace. “It’s the one you wore last weekend. When I picked it up off the bathroom floor I thought I might pass out.” Elise’s chuckle did wonderful things to the breasts under her hands, and she smiled in delight. “Oh, it’s going to be a shame to take this off.”

“So you were swooning over my bra while I was in the shower? If only I’d known.”

“Oh, no.” Alison shook her head. “You weren’t ready. It wouldn’t have been like this. And I want it—” she slid the straps over Elise’s shoulders and cupped the now-bare skin— “…to be like this. Sweet Jesus, you’re stunning.” This was the bare shoulder that had so enticed her four days ago, but then it had been utterly out of reach. Now it was under her fingertips, the soft skin simply begging for her lips to touch it, and she happily complied. For long minutes she explored the most perfect upper body she had ever seen, kissing and caressing delicate collarbones, strong shoulders, and the border between lace and curved skin. There was something powerfully erotic about the lace still covering Elise’s breasts—and the knowledge that she could remove it whenever she wanted to. She fought a considerable internal battle over just when to do that, but soon her desire to see what lay beneath won out. As a compromise, however, she took as long as possible to peel the fabric away, her eyes riveted to the flesh being bared. When the dark nipples were finally revealed she stood immobile, staring at the loveliness until Elise distracted her by reaching behind her back and unsnapping the bra. The fabric fell away, now dangling from Alison’s hands, and she tossed it in the general direction of the bed without taking her gaze off the view in front of her. Her hands followed her eyes, caressing and gently squeezing, and then she could wait no longer.

Her eyes closed of their own accord when she wrapped her lips around the first nipple. So soft…so perfect. Elise’s hands were on her back, moving over her shoulder blades, but when Alison began a light sucking she felt a hand shift to her head and hold her close. In mere seconds the nipple in her mouth had changed from sweet softness to something much firmer, and in response she marginally increased the force of her suction, wondering how much or how little Elise wanted. Then she smiled as the hand on her head applied a little more pressure. That answers that question.

After indulging herself a little longer, she released the nipple and paid proper attention to the rest of the breast, in particular the soft underside, then happily switched sides. This nipple was still soft and she savored it in her mouth, giving it only the barest of touches, trying to keep it soft as long as she could—which, of course, wasn’t long. Soon she was suckling more firmly, and then more firmly yet, testing the boundaries. When she tried a gentle bite, Elise gasped and jerked in her arms.

“Too much?” she murmured, not moving from her position.

“No, just…if you’re going to do that, I need to lay down.”

By way of answering, Alison took the nipple into her mouth again, reducing the pressure but not letting go as she relished the sensation. She could do this for hours, but there were other places to explore, and eventually she let go and began kissing her way down Elise’s stomach. When she reached the pants she swiftly unfastened them and pushed them off Elise’s hips.

“Sit down,” she said, nudging Elise the last few centimeters toward the bed. She had to spend a little too much time pulling off the boots, but once they were out of the way she eagerly drew off the pants, leaving Elise in nothing but a filmy pair of black underwear. Elise smiled up at her and then draped herself back on the bed, completely at ease as she waved at Alison’s pants.

“Those too,” she said. “I’ll watch.”

“Voyeur.”

“Mm hm. Get used to it.” Elise didn’t watch so much as she ogled while Alison got her own shoes and pants off, then raised her eyebrows as the underwear followed. “You might have asked if I wanted the honor,” she said.

“I wasn’t expecting this tonight,” Alison answered, straightening up and smiling at the picture Elise made on her bed. “So I didn’t have my Starfleet undies on.”

Elise burst out laughing. “I want those next time!”

“You can have whatever you want next time.”

The amusement faded into desire as Elise stared at her nakedness. “Can I have what I want now?”

“That might depend on what it is.” Though Alison didn’t think there was anything Elise could want that she wouldn’t be willing to give.

Instead of answering, Elise sat up and crooked a finger, parting her legs as Alison walked over to stand between them. The bed was higher than the kitchen chair had been, putting Elise’s face on a level with Alison’s breasts—a position she quickly made the most of. She also took advantage of the bare skin now available to her, eagerly sliding her hands over Alison’s back and buttocks as she kissed, teased and suckled. Alison’s eyes closed from the sheer pleasure of it, but she soon opened them again, not wanting to miss a moment. Her hands couldn’t stay still either, and she marveled at the fact that she now had the right not only to look, but to touch. She wanted to do a great deal more touching.

Nudging Elise onto her back, she moved onto the bed as well, positioning herself on all fours. Her intent had been to take a more active turn, but she stopped when she saw the look on Elise’s face. Those gray eyes were riveted to the breasts now hanging over her face, her lips were parted unconsciously, and her expression was one of such intense desire that Alison could do nothing else but give herself over to Elise’s need.

What followed was a severe test of her arm strength, as Elise took what she was offering with such focus and skill that Alison was barely able to stay up. There seemed to be a direct connection between her nipples and her clitoris, and every tug of Elise’s lips and teeth brought an instant response. Her hips began moving of their own accord, and Elise responded by bringing up a thigh between her legs. The first contact brought gasps from both of them.

“You’re so wet already,” whispered Elise in wonder.

Alison couldn’t stop herself from pushing back against Elise’s thigh, her head lifting as she instinctively tried to put pressure where it was most needed. “Of course I am,” she managed. “Christ! You’re killing me.”

She felt hands on her hips, holding and steadying her as she moved, and when she looked down Elise was watching her with something approaching worship. It gave her pause—this was more than simply enjoying the moment. It was much more than Elise knowing how to give a woman what she wanted. This was something altogether different, and she slowed her movements as their eyes locked.

“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known,” Elise said quietly. She pressed her leg further, overbalancing Alison and forcing her to tip forward, which was fine with her. As she came down she slid her arms around Elise’s back, meeting her in a kiss that merged passion with emotion. There was so much she needed to say, but words were inadequate, even if she’d been capable of thinking that coherently. Instead she poured her feelings into a series of slow, deep kisses, but soon even that wasn’t enough. She wanted to touch every bit of Elise’s face with her lips, showing her in the most intimate way how much she’d come to mean to her. Elise lay passively beneath the rain of kisses, accepting the intimacy with a tiny, sweet smile. When Alison finally drew back, Elise opened her eyes and said, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Just…for being here, now, with me. It’s never felt like this.”

“For me, either.” Alison gave her an arch look. “Told you we had something special.”

“I never argued.” Elise touched a palm to the side of Alison’s face, then ran a gentle thumb over her lips. “I need to feel you,” she said. “All of you. Let me get the rest of the way up.”

Alison broke their contact and moved aside, giving Elise space to scoot up until her entire body was on the bed. The moment she was in place, Alison was back on top, this time stretching her length out on Elise’s body.

“Oh, yes,” Elise murmured, wrapping her arms around Alison’s back. “Perfect. This is what I needed.”

Alison felt a little overwhelmed by so much contact, and was taken by surprise when Elise rolled them over, putting herself on top. “What…?”

“My turn,” Elise said, and proceeded to repeat Alison’s earlier performance, covering her face and throat with gentle kisses.

It was surprising just how good that felt. When she’d done it to Elise, it had been instinctive, a simple expression of emotion. Being on the receiving end was altogether different. Having Elise touching her so gently, so lovingly, was an almost spiritual experience. Was there anything more profound than accepting kisses on her eyelids, of all places? To entrust such a delicate, vulnerable part of herself to another was something she’d never done before, nor had she ever given it any thought. But there was far more intimacy in this than in any sexual activity she could think of.

When Elise had kissed every centimeter of her jawline and throat, she changed tactics slightly, moving her mouth to the soft part of Alison’s throat and gently sucking. To her own surprise, Alison jerked in response and her breathing suddenly increased. She’d had no idea that this was a turn-on for her, but her body certainly knew.

Elise raised her head and smiled. “I think I’ve discovered something.”

“Me too.” Alison couldn’t believe her response. “Jesus. It’s like an electric shock.”

“Really?” Elise tried it again, with the same result. “Ooo. I like this.” She looked down, smoothing her finger over skin that now felt very warm. “Do you have a dermal regenerator?”

“Yes, why? Do I already have a mark?”

“Mm hm. And you’re about to have a few more.” With that, Elise shifted into a different mode altogether. Gone was the gentle touch of a moment before; now she was after pure arousal. She went back to the same place and sucked hard, sending Alison into a state of near-instant incoherence. Her body was no longer under her control, and it could not stay still. How had she gone her whole life without knowing about this particular sensitivity?

By the time Elise finally released her, she was panting and clutching the duvet, astonished by her reaction and rapidly losing her ability to think. Elise gave her no time to recover as she moved to the opposite side of her throat and began all over again. Alison cried out as the suction started anew, her body bucking, and then she lost herself in the burning sensations. Her arousal was climbing to levels she’d never have thought possible, considering the fact that Elise wasn’t touching any of the areas that normally caused it.

When she was released again, there was only one coherent thought left in her head: she’d had enough of foreplay. With a roughness born of desperation she put a hand under Elise’s chin and forced her to raise her head. “I need you,” she said urgently, and whatever was missing in verbal detail was certainly conveyed in her tone. Elise immediately shifted position, raising herself up and changing her angle. A moment later Alison felt the fingers at her entrance, but they weren’t moving quickly enough and she simply couldn’t wait. Reaching down, she put her hand on top of Elise’s and pushed, filling herself immediately and moaning with the sheer relief of it. She ground her hips against Elise’s fingers, still holding her in place, and when she opened her eyes she saw Elise staring at their hands with an expression of almost shocked arousal.

“Don’t let go,” Elise whispered. “But let me do this.”

In her haze Alison didn’t know what she meant. She felt Elise pulling out and instinctively tried to hold her in. But at this angle she had no strength and her hand was carried along, until Elise pushed back in again…and then she understood.

Elise never took her eyes off their hands, watching with intense concentration as they worked together to give Alison what she so desperately wanted. And when the sharp, aching edge of need had been slightly dulled, Alison pulled her hand back, giving the reins to Elise and allowing herself to simply experience it.

As it turned out, Elise really did know how to give a woman what she wanted…or at least, what Alison wanted. She knew just how to curl her fingers, how to find the right speed, and somehow she even seemed to know when penetration ceased to be enough all by itself. Alison had barely registered the thought that she was craving more when Elise shifted, coming over her and taking her mouth in a bruising kiss. Alison wrapped her arms around her back and gave as good as she got, needing that connection, needing her close. She was distressed when Elise slipped away again, but when she felt the tug on her nipple she decided that this was good too. Very good. So good, in fact, that when all motion suddenly ceased she whimpered in dismay.

“Don’t stop…”

“I won’t,” Elise promised. “I just can’t wait any longer.”

She moved back, out of Alison’s reach, and the first touch of her tongue was almost painful in its exquisite intensity. She kept her fingers still, using her other hand to press on Alison’s stomach, opening her up to the gentle explorations. Slowly she ran her tongue up and down, down and up, finding all of Alison’s sensitive places—and there seemed to be a great number of them. Alison rested her hands on the back of Elise’s head, trying not to press down, but control was a tenuous thing at best when her body was strung as tightly as it was right now. She was by no means a novice at this, but Elise was discovering things about her that she’d never known.

“You’re very sensitive right here,” Elise murmured. She flicked her tongue over the place in question, making Alison jerk and nearly lose control of her hands. Partly from a concern for Elise’s safety, she let go of her head and grabbed handfuls of the duvet instead.

“I can see that,” she managed.

Elise smiled up at her before returning her attention to her explorations. “And here…” Another swipe. “And over here.”

“God!”

“Actually,” mused Elise, “you’re so incredibly responsive that I might be able to make you come without ever touching your clitoris. Might be fun to try.”

“Not. Today.” Alison made her preference very clear, and Elise laughed softly.

“No. Not today.” And with that she moved to the one place Alison most needed her to be. Her talents were just as apparent in this area as they’d been in every other aspect of their lovemaking, and before long Alison was seeing stars. She was torn between wanting it to go on forever and wanting the relief of her orgasm, but as the pressure reached a nearly intolerable level, she decided on the latter. Unfortunately Elise now seemed to be avoiding the angle she needed for that to happen, repeatedly touching her just a hair outside the sweet spot, keeping her suspended in a state of painful anticipation. By now Alison knew enough about Elise’s skills to be certain this was intentional. But she had a little trick of her own up her sleeve, and instead of asking for what she wanted, she simply reached down and opened herself up with both hands.

Elise gave a soft gasp, lifting her head to look at the display before her, then staring up at Alison with that same expression of shocked arousal she’d shown when Alison had forced her hand in. Swallowing hard, she looked back down and said, “Do you have any idea how sexy that is?”

Fortunately, she didn’t seem to expect an answer, instead lowering her head and proving Alison’s suspicion correct by immediately focusing on the exact place she needed to be. Her fingers moved slowly, pumping in and out in a counter rhythm to her tongue, and soon Alison’s back was arching as her entire being hung suspended in the haze of pleasure Elise’s mouth and fingers were creating. She had no more thought, no more control, no ability to do anything but wait for her release. And when the cascade began, and she knew it could no longer be stopped, she cried out with the sheer agonizing joy of it. A second cry was ripped from her throat as the orgasm swept over her, immobilizing her spine before shaking her from head to foot, convulsing her with aftershocks, and finally leaving her limp and drained. At last she let go, dropping her hands to the bed and feeling sure she’d never move again.

“Jesus Christ in heaven,” she whispered, mostly to herself. “Holy fucking God.”

Elise burst into laughter. “No, just me.”

“Oh, my God. Elise…” Alison had no words. “That was…that was…oh, Christ.”

Elise began kissing her upper thighs, her stomach, her mound, and then ventured a single soft lick in an area that was far too sensitive for it. Alison jerked, grabbing her head none too gently. “No! No no no. I’m done.”

“Are you sure?”

“God, yes.” Alison released her, feeling guilty about the rough treatment. “You’ve done me in.”

“Maybe you just need a little recovery time.” Elise turned her head and planted another soft kiss on Alison’s thigh.

“Elise…” Alison laughed weakly. “I’m dead. I can’t have more than one.”

“You can’t?” Elise looked disappointed. “Perhaps you never had a lover who knew how to get you past that first wall.”

“No, believe me, I know myself. I don’t have multiple orgasms.”

Smiling up at her, Elise said, “Oh, I absolutely believe that you know yourself. Of that I have no doubt at all. Okay then, I’m pulling out. Ready?”

“Ready.” Alison clenched her teeth in anticipation, but the pullout wasn’t nearly so difficult as she’d expected. “Ahh. That wasn’t bad.”

Elise came up beside her, propped up on one elbow. “That’s because you were so incredibly wet. My God, Alison. You may not be multiorgasmic, but the ones you have seem to be pretty outstanding.”

“They’re usually big,” Alison agreed, rolling over and tucking into her body. “But not that big.”

“I think I’m envious. Mine don’t look like that.”

“How do you know? You’re inside them.” Alison closed her eyes, needing a rest after the exertion. Gentle fingers began tracing patterns on her back, and she smiled happily. “Mmm. That feels wonderful.”

“You were wonderful,” Elise whispered. “And so incredibly sexy.”

Alison fell into a warm, utterly comfortable space, basking in the sweet attention Elise was giving her. She felt cherished and protected, relaxed and snug, and it took her a few moments to realize just what her face was tucked into. As her brain came back online, she tilted her head slightly and took the nearest nipple into her mouth. A hiss from above her made her smile, and she let go just long enough to ask, “Did you think I was asleep?”

“No…” Elise’s breathing hitched as Alison resumed her activity. “I just thought you were wiped out.”

Alison tugged on the nipple with her teeth, enjoying the way Elise’s body jerked with the motion. “How could I possibly be wiped out with this in front of me?”

“It was…oh…a big orgasm.”

Hearing Elise trying to speak while aroused was so much fun that Alison was giving thought to asking her a whole series of questions, just for the enjoyment of making her stumble during the answers. In the end, she only asked one.

“How hard do you like it?”

“It de—oh, fuck—it depends. I’m so turned on now that…that you won’t be able to hurt me.” She gasped. “God!”

The last was from Alison biting down. She released the nipple, kissed it softly and asked, “Good God or ow God?”

“Good. Whoo. Very good. But that’s about as much as I want.”

Alison pushed up then, gently knocking Elise into her back. As she sat up, preparing a full assault, she was distracted by the sight of Elise’s underwear. “You’re still wearing these?” she asked incredulously.

“I had more important things to think about.”

“These have to come off.” Alison reached for the waistband.

“I know, but—wait! Just…be careful.” Elise looked pained. “I, um…got a little excited watching you.”

“Ohhh.” Alison looked more closely, seeing the telltale signs of one very aroused woman. “Hold on.” As Elise lifted her hips, she gently pulled the soaking wet underwear away, sympathizing with the hiss she heard. “You really should have taken these off sooner.”

“Believe me, I know.” Elise dropped her head back as Alison drew the underwear the rest of the way off. “Oh, that’s much better.”

“Yes, it is,” said Alison fervently, tossing the garment off the bed without caring where it landed. She couldn’t take her eyes off the dark patch that had been revealed, nor the very clear evidence of just how much Elise had responded to their lovemaking. In fact, she was amazed that Elise had been able to hold her and touch her so sweetly when she had to be in a state of raging need.

Shifting back to the head of the bed, she straddled Elise and leaned down, kissing her hard before murmuring in her ear, “I think you need a little cleaning up.” She smiled at the gasp her voice elicited, reveling in the arms that came around her back and clutched her as she began nipping and sucking on the ear. “Actually I think you need a lot of cleaning up,” she added, running her tongue around the delicate shell. “So I could either spend an hour doing this to you, and every other kind of foreplay I can think of, or I could just get to work.” Elise’s fingernails dug into her back, putting her on notice that she was already driving her lover to the edge of control. “Which do you want?” she whispered.

If she’d thought Elise would beg, or even play her game, she’d underestimated her. In a rough but perfectly steady voice, Elise said, “I want you to take care of me.”

Alison lifted her head and met her eyes, her playfulness vanishing at the look she saw there. “Then I will,” she said seriously.

Much as she wanted to, she didn’t linger by the perfect breasts that tempted her. Elise needed her, and she wasted no time positioning herself between her legs, finding her lover swollen with arousal. She used a gentle, flat tongue, barely touching her, but it was still enough to make Elise jump and cry out. The next few swipes resulted in the same thing, and she was finally forced to wrap her arms around Elise’s upper thighs to hold her still. That gave her a better target, though it took considerable effort as Elise’s hips strained against her. Fingers tangled themselves in her hair, gripping almost painfully as she continued her slow, deliberate movements, licking up the signs of arousal. “You taste fantastic,” she said, her lips almost touching the skin, and was rewarded with a groan.

“Alison…”

Responding to the pleading tone, she abandoned her gentle explorations and focused slightly higher, where she was not surprised—though considerably turned on—to find that Elise was rock hard. It felt like a small stone under her tongue, and there was absolutely no doubt where Elise needed her most. She spent several happy minutes experimenting with speed and pressure, figured out that Elise responded best to a medium speed with a hard tongue, and then promptly slowed down. Elise was too ready; she didn’t want this to end so soon. Perhaps it was a little cruel to the woman beneath her, but she was in paradise right now and wanted to stay there as long as she could.

Even so, it was going to end sooner than she wanted. Elise was simply too far gone, and every touch was sending her closer to the edge. Alison slowed, then slowed even more, but the muscles under her arms were shaking now and the fingers were tightening in her hair. The shaking increased, Elise’s hips drove upward, and Alison released her hold, freeing the thighs she’d held trapped. A moment later Elise exploded into orgasm, her body bucking as she cried out, and Alison did her best to stay with her until the fingers in her hair finally let go.

“Okay…okay…stop stop stop,” Elise gasped.

Alison lifted her head, looking down regretfully, then prepared to leave her paradise behind. But a much gentler hand on her head stopped her.

“That didn’t mean you should go,” Elise said, still breathing hard. “God, don’t go.”

Alison stared. “You mean…you’re not done?”

A weak chuckle answered her. “Oh, Alison. That just took the edge off.”

She couldn’t stop her grin. “You’re multiorgasmic.”

“Oh yes. Very.”

“Sweet Jesus on the cross.” She couldn’t believe her luck. “If I were still going to church I’d light a candle in gratitude.”

Elise laughed. “I don’t think they’d let you in the door anymore, honey. You’re about as profane as they come.”

“How many orgasms do you normally have?”

“It depends. Usually four or five. My record is eight.”

Alison stared, then uttered the most heartfelt prayer she had ever said in her life. “Thank you, God.”

Laughing, Elise said, “You might not be thinking that an hour from now.”

“You don’t know me very well if you believe that.” She lowered her head to kiss the soft skin of Elise’s upper thigh. “Can I go again?” she murmured, nibbling her way closer.

“Mm hm.” Elise already sounded far away. “It doesn’t take long.”

Thank you, Alison repeated in her mind. Whatever I did to deserve this, I promise to keep doing it.

This time Elise wasn’t nearly so sensitized, and Alison had the freedom to explore in a more leisurely fashion—or so she thought. As it turned out, the period of calm lasted only a minute or two before Elise’s hips were moving again. Alison was startled by how rapidly the arousal ramped up, and in less than five minutes she was holding on as Elise bucked and cried out a second time. This one seemed a little less strong, and soon Elise slumped back on the bed, her forearm over her eyes.

“Fuck,” she swore quietly. “That was fast.”

“Was it?” Alison had no idea what was normal for her.

Elise nodded. “It hit like a brick wall.”

Alison kissed her upper thighs and then the swollen skin under her hands, smiling as Elise jerked. “I don’t mind,” she said, placing another soft kiss. “By my count I have at least two more coming, and I’m planning to make the most of them.” Tenderly she ran a finger along satin smooth skin, fascinated by the beauty of this most intimate place that somehow, through a grace she’d never earned, she was being allowed to see and touch. For several minutes she soothed Elise with the gentleness of her attentions, waiting for the telltale sign. When Elise’s hips began to move again, she slid two fingers down and then slowly, reverently pushed them inside.

“Oh, yes,” Elise sighed. “Yes…”

Alison closed her eyes, unable to move for a moment. This was heaven on earth. This incredible sensation of being inside Elise, of being not only allowed but welcomed, was almost more than she could bear. “You feel so good,” she whispered.

She pushed up on all fours then, a task made somewhat more difficult by the loss of one hand, but she wasn’t about to move it. Instead she straddled Elise’s leg, propping herself up with her other arm, and finally gave herself the prize she’d forsaken earlier. Elise gasped as she felt the tug on her nipple, then arched her back when Alison forcefully thrust her fingers in while biting down.

Settling onto her elbow, Alison used the leverage to slide a hand beneath Elise’s back and hold her up, wanting to pull her close as she suckled at her breast. Elise responded ardently to the possessive gesture, arching even further and pushing her breast into Alison’s mouth. It was the most erotic thing Alison had ever seen, and she thought that if she lived two hundred years she would never forget the sight. She settled into a rhythm, pumping her fingers while sucking, tugging and biting, with Elise vocally encouraging her every step of the way. At last her arm grew tired and she paused, leaving her fingers inside while running her thumb through the abundant moisture. When she judged it sufficiently lubricated she began pumping again, this time using her thumb to stimulate the clitoris with each motion. She timed her thrusts with tugs and bites at Elise’s nipple, listening avidly to the cries of pleasure. She never let up, never paused, never varied the timing, and this time the sign of impending orgasm was a sudden silence on Elise’s part. Without letting go of the nipple in her mouth, Alison looked up to see what was happening. Elise’s head was back, her neck straining and her mouth open, and soon a groan ripped from her throat, starting low and climbing as her body began to shake. Alison bit down and pulled, stretching the nipple and holding it in place as she continued her thrusts. Elise’s body trembled more violently, her back arched further, and then she convulsed, letting out a cry so loud that it was nearly a scream.

Alison released her immediately, raising her head to watch as she continued her thrusts. Elise bucked and cried out for half a minute before finally gasping, “Stop! Stop!” as she seized Alison’s hand in her own, fighting for breath.

Alison watched, mesmerized by the beauty of Elise after an orgasm. Her lips were swollen and red, her face flushed, and when she finally opened her eyes, they seemed even lighter by comparison.

“Alison,” she groaned. “Oh, my God, that was amazing.”

For her part, Alison was swamped by a depth of emotion that she didn’t dare speak aloud. With her fingers still buried inside Elise, she could feel her heartbeat, and the intimacy almost made her tear up. She never wanted to move. She never wanted Elise to leave again. She wanted her to park her hovercraft inside the garage and stay, tonight and forever. But that was impractical and improbable, and Alison didn’t live her life that way. People simply didn’t fall in love and move in like that. It didn’t happen. It especially didn’t happen to people like her and Elise, who had so many obligations and such crowded professional lives.

But here, in this moment, with her fingers still surrounded by softness, warmth and a throbbing pulse, she could lose herself in the joy of knowing that she was the one who had brought Elise to this point. She was the reason Elise was still panting, still holding her hand, and staring at her as if she were an apparition.

“I thought you said yours weren’t as big as mine,” she said with a smile.

“They usually aren’t.” Elise swallowed hard. “That was…that was huge. Fuck. I may never move again.”

That would be fine by me. Alison leaned down and kissed her gently. “You don’t have to move until you want to. But I have to tell you, I’m going to be disappointed if I don’t get at least one more.”

Elise laughed weakly. “I don’t know if I can after that one.”

“You can.”

“And you’re suddenly an expert because…?”

“Because I can still feel your heart beating.” Alison shifted her fingers, causing Elise to jerk violently. “And because you’re still ramped up.” She pulled her arm out from under Elise’s back, swung her leg over and crouched back down in her little place in paradise. “And because I won’t stop until you do,” she murmured, kissing Elise’s thigh.

“You’re going to kill me.” But Elise let go of her hand, an implicit permission to continue, and Alison took instant advantage.

“Maybe. But you’ll go out very, very happy.” Gently she laid a path of kisses up her thigh, then touched her tongue to what had just become her favorite place in the world. This time Elise didn’t jump quite so high, and Alison continued to kiss and nuzzle her softly, keeping her grounded without stimulating her too much. Eventually she tried a soft lick, and when Elise simply sighed she knew she was ready.

She went slow this time, thoroughly enjoying the opportunity to explore since Elise wasn’t nearly so sensitive. And all the time she kept her fingers still, leaving them there as a presence but not bringing them to Elise’s attention. Only when Elise’s pelvis began rocking did she set up a leisurely thrusting motion, going deeply in and pulling nearly all the way out, then slowly pushing back to the hilt. Her tongue matched the rhythm of her fingers, and she kept this pace all the way through, even as the telltale shaking began. Elise’s hips strained upward, trying to get more contact, but Alison refused the unspoken plea and maintained her speed, listening avidly to the gasps and moans. Then Elise convulsed twice, briefly, crying out before straining upward once again. Alison paused.

“No! Don’t stop, don’t stop,” Elise said urgently.

“Was that…?”

Elise nodded, her eyes shut and her neck arched. “Keep going!”

Alison didn’t need to be asked again. This time she increased her speed and varied the pressure, and was shocked when the trembling began after only a minute or so. Another minute or two after that and Elise bucked again, this orgasm lasting slightly longer than the last but nowhere near as long as the one before. Once again her hips were moving immediately afterward, and with a sense of awe Alison kept going. What was that, five already?

It was time for something a little different. She pulled her fingers all the way out, causing an instant protest.

“Shh,” she said. “Don’t worry. They won’t be gone for long.” Almost before she finished the sentence she was sliding three fingers back in, watching as Elise’s mouth opened silently. “Is it all right?” she asked, worried that her expression might be one of pain rather than pleasure. It was certainly a tight fit.

Elise nodded silently. Her hands strayed to her own breasts and began tugging at the nipples, leaving Alison slack-jawed as she watched.

“Elise,” she whispered, mesmerized.

Gray eyes opened and stared into hers with no self-consciousness. Elise knew exactly what she was doing, and Alison actually whimpered at the sight. In a night of erotic images, this one instantly took top place, searing itself into her memory. She resumed her thrusts, still staring as Elise pulled and twisted her nipples, and suddenly she was as aroused as if she’d never had her own orgasm. She ached with need, wanting desperately to touch herself, but masturbation in front of someone else was one thing she had never done. It crossed the line of her sense of privacy. And yet, here was Elise looking at her with no embarrassment whatsoever as she pleasured herself. Why shouldn’t she do the same?

She looked down just long enough to lubricate her thumb and position it for the final drive. Then she sat up on her heels, met Elise’s gaze, and deliberately slid her other hand down her body. Oh yes, she was ready.

Elise’s eyes widened as she watched, and her hands stilled on her breasts. Alison shook her head. “If you stop, I stop,” she said. “I want us to come together if we can.”

“If you do that, I might come in about six seconds,” Elise said in a molten voice. “God, you’re sexy.”

“So are you.” Alison began a slow thrusting, accompanied by a light motion with her thumb, and every one of them showed on Elise’s face. “Sexy and so damned beautiful,” she whispered, her other hand finding the place of her own need. Her eyes closed briefly as she was swamped with relief, but she forced herself to keep them open, not wanting to miss a moment of this incredible experience. Elise was still watching her, still pulling on her own nipples, and Alison felt a fresh rush of arousal. God in heaven, she might just come first at this rate.

She tried to keep a slower rhythm with Elise, but her need was too great and required faster manipulation, and she couldn’t manage two different speeds with her hands. Soon her fingers were pumping frantically into Elise, who was gasping with every bump of the thumb as she tried and ultimately failed to maintain their gaze. Her head dropped as her back began to arch, and still she tugged and twisted her nipples, sending Alison into the stratosphere. It took every bit of her remaining strength to maintain her rhythm with both of them, but she’d have died before giving up. With her eyes riveted to the sight of Elise’s hands, she drove them both to the edge, hoping and praying that they could come together. When she saw Elise beginning to tremble she redoubled her efforts, not wanting to be left behind, but of course that affected Elise as much as her. As she watched, Elise ceased her movements and simply pinched her nipples, her mouth opening silently as the pressure built. Alison felt it building in herself as well, but Elise was still ahead, straining, conspicuously silent—and then she convulsed, her torso coming off the bed as she cried out Alison’s name.

The shock of hearing her own name in the moment of orgasm sent Alison right to the critical point, and she let out a desperate moan, knowing that she was so close, so close…but she’d lost track of what Elise needed, and she couldn’t do them both justice anymore. Somehow her eyes had shut in spite of her determination, and she hadn’t even noticed until she felt Elise’s hand on hers, giving her permission to focus solely on herself. Her eyes flew open, meeting Elise’s gaze, and her orgasm swarmed up and crashed over her. With a sob of release she sank down, her body crumpling in on itself, still working until every bit of pleasure had been wrung out of her. At last she slumped over and rested her forehead on Elise’s stomach, too weak to do anything else. Even breathing was an effort, and by the way her head was rising and falling, Elise was having some difficulty with that as well.

For long minutes she crouched there, not particularly comfortable but unable to summon the will to move. Then she felt fingers in her hair, stroking gently, and Elise said, “Alison, honey, I don’t want to rush you but…I really need you to pull out.”

Alison lifted her head. “I’m sorry…” God, she just wasn’t thinking.

“It’s all right, you’re a little exhausted.”

With a small snort, Alison said, “Aren’t you? Okay, here we go.” Slowly she pulled out, to Elise’s vocal relief. “Ouch,” she whispered, flexing the cramped fingers.

“Are you okay?”

“Sure, as long as I don’t ever have to use this hand again.” Alison crawled over Elise’s leg and flopped onto her stomach with a gusty sigh. “Jesus, Mary and Joseph. I can’t move.”

“Tell me about it.” Elise closed her legs, groaning with the motion. “Walking might be a problem tomorrow.” She rolled over, tucking herself next to Alison and wrapping an arm around her back. “But it was worth it. You were spectacular.”

Alison smiled tiredly at the face only centimeters from hers. “I think you were the spectacular one. If I never have sex again I can still die happy.”

“I can’t!”

Chuckling, Alison said, “I only mean that right now. By tomorrow morning I’ll probably think I can’t possibly live another hour if I don’t make love to you again.” She closed her eyes, too exhausted to keep them open anymore.

“Unfortunately, you have to work.”

Alison groaned. “Don’t remind me.” Why wasn’t it Friday, dammit?

She felt a light kiss on her cheek. “Thank you for saying that, by the way,” said Elise quietly.

“What, that I’m not thinking about work?”

“No. That you’ll want to make love to me again tomorrow.”

“Assuming I can recover in time.” In her sleepy state, it took a moment to realize that Elise wasn’t responding to her joke. She opened her eyes to find a gray gaze looking right at her.

“This wasn’t just sex to me,” Elise said.

The shiver down her spine chased away her exhaustion. “It wasn’t for me, either.” She wanted to add so much to that statement, but the words were too crowded in her throat.

Elise nodded slowly, a tiny smile curving her mouth. “So we’re still on the same page?”

If you’re falling in love with me, too, then yes. But that was trapped in her throat as well, and all she could say was, “Yes, we are.”

“Good.” Apparently satisfied, Elise closed her eyes.

Alison watched her, wide awake now, and heard the moment when her breathing changed to the slow, deep rhythm of sleep. She was awed by Elise’s trust and strength. How could she open herself up that way now, of all times? How could she trust anyone else after having her world turned inside out?

Because you’re the one who held her together. She told you that.

Then what would happen when she recovered her balance?

Gently she stroked Elise’s hair away from her face, the soft strands slipping through her fingers. Elise never stirred.

“I don’t want you to go,” she whispered. “Please don’t go.”

She watched for awhile longer, then closed her own eyes as exhaustion reclaimed her. Whatever happened next, right now she would enjoy the beauty of sleeping beside Elise Hamilton.

 

 

 

 

book 11 | Forward Motion main page